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There was something bothering Kix.
Jesse knew it. It was unbelievably obvious. Rex knew it. Echo knew it. Even the members of the Bad Batch could tell.
There was just something bothering the 501st field medic and Jesse needed to know what. It was so obvious, it was downright frustrating to Jesse.
And Kix, being the stubborn medic he is, refused to tell him. He said it was nothing, and Jesse knew he was lying. It was so kriffing noticeable, and Kix thought he could hide it from his closest brother.
Jesse squeezed Kix’s hands in his own. They were granted some free time in the barracks, and no one else was in the room. “What’s wrong…?”
Kix ducked his head low enough so Jesse could see the ends of stripes shaved on his head and pressed his forehead against Jesse’s shoulder. He made a quiet whimpering sound before actually speaking. “I’m tired.”
This was the twentieth time Jesse had asked the same question and he got a different answer each time. “Perhaps, but that’s not what’s mainly wrong. Please, vod, you’re not yourself. You can tell me anything. Anything. Know you that.” Jesse almost whined. He moved to wrap his arms around his brother.
“I’m… I just…” Kix began, but he cut himself off. He didn’t say anymore.
“Kix.” Jesse soothed, moving so Kix had to look up at him. “Please, you can tell my anything. I need to know what’s bothering you, because you haven’t been yourself lately. You really haven’t.” He begged.
His brother was silent for a moment. He muttered something inaudible and leaned in to Jesse’s touch. He spoke, “It’ll be alright.”
Jesse resisted to urge to whine partially in frustration and partially in sorrow. He opened his mouth to say something, but Kix spoke again.
“Everything’ll be OK. I swear. I’ll protect you, I’ll be there for you…” Kix blinked his umber eyes. Jesse could stare at those eyes for hours… the eyes that promised their happiness. “I’ll fix it. I’ll make everything alright.” The medic continued. It almost sounded like Kix was trying to convince himself along with Jesse.
“Please be right.” Jesse murmured in Kix’s ear in response, clutching his brother tighter.
Jesse hoped. Oh, he hoped so much that Kix was right.
Skip to a week or so later.
“Take a shower. You need it.” Kix gave Jesse a half-hearted pat on the shoulder before beginning to head off.
“What, I smell that bad?” Jesse tried to joke, flashing a grin in Kix’s direction. It wasn’t his best, but he wanted to see Kix smile or laugh or something.
A chuckle escaped Kix’s lips, but Jesse knew it was forced. It was like that normally, nowadays.
He wished that Kix would hold him and comfort him and brush all of his worries away like he sometimes did. Watching Kix’s shoulder blades retreat from the room, Jesse wished he could grab him and give his brother a giant hug and whisper his worries away. He wished it was that easy.
After Jesse was alone, he pressed his face into his hands and felt sharp stings of frustration rush through his body. He hated the closed-off and silently-suffering Kix. Jesse really just wanted his brother to be happy… he wanted to help, and Kix wouldn’t let him. He wanted the happy, encouraging, and honest brother that Kix was. He wanted his brother. He needed his brother…
He took a few moments to rub his temples and let out a breath of air. He needed it.
-
Face pressed into the pillow and thoughts wandering, Jesse waited to Kix to return. It was 2100, time for him and his brothers to sleep. He hadn’t seen the medic since he told him to take a shower.
Jesse chewed on his lip as he waited. Kix commonly stayed to work a bit after they were told to sleep… and he’d sometimes fall asleep in the medbay. Then Jesse would have an excuse to go find him and carry his sleeping brother back to his respective bed.
Honestly, Kix naturally took this long. But this time… this time, Jesse felt extra nervous. He felt like he needed to go check on his brother now.
So he did. Jesse slipped out of his bunk, silently begging that he didn’t wake any sleeping brothers, and returned to the bright hallway that shook away his weariness.
Instinctively, Jesse headed straight for the medbay.
Why was the kriffing medbay so far from the room Jesse slept in? Couldn’t they just sleep right next to it, so Jesse could simply get up, turn a corner, find Kix, and go? Yeah, the Jedi wouldn’t move the barracks just for that purpose. Drat. He’d just have to walk all of the way there, to hunt down his brother…
The stupid long walk got Jesse thinking. Feeling. Guessing. Worrying.
I HAVE to make sure he’s safe. I have to make sure he’s not hurt, sad, angry, or doubtful. I need to make sure he’s safe. I need my brother. I need him beside me, I need him to feel safe. I need to protect him.
How can I do that when we’re separated every other week?
Jesse’s pace quickened and his heart raced. The medbay was just around the corner.
I need to find him. I have to make sure he’s safe. I need him. I need by brother by my side all of the time. I have to protect him. I have to do whatever I can. I need to keep him safe and then we can both be happy.
How can I do that when we risk our lives every day?
If I don’t find him, what will I do? What’ll happen to me? What could’ve happened to him? Oh, Force. I have to protect him. I need him to be safe. I have to. I have to. I have too.
How can I do that when we’re at war?
Jesse pulled himself to a halt and grabbed the wall like it would help him balance. It did help. Jesse was able to grab his thoughts before they ran away again.
Ugh. Now he was all worked up, ready to kriffing ram through the walls if that’s what it took to find Kix. He shoved himself upward and continued his journey, annoyance tingling through his veins.
Why was he so worried?! Everything is fine! Nothing is wrong! Kix will be slouched over his desk, sleeping, again, waiting for Jesse to carry him to bed. He always was. He always would be.
Kix wasn’t there.
Jesse’s panicked eyes shot around the medbay. No one was there, excluding some wounded, sleeping brothers.
Silently panicking, Jesse left his wounded brothers to get their well needed rest and just started to walk. Well, his gait could better be described as a trying-to-run-but-is-too-freaking-clumsy-so-walk-instead.
His breath was already picking up again, and his heart rate through the roof.
PanicpanicpanicpanicwhereskixwherewherewherewhereMUSTFINDHIMidontknowwhereheissomethingmighthavehappenedWHYishouldhaveishouldhaveishouldhaveishouldhaveishouldhave-
In his panicked, emotional state, Jesse failed to avoid crashing into another person. None of the two actually fell over, but they sure hit their heads, and that sure put a dent in Jesse’s forehead.
Blinking back into reality, Jesse struggled to place the person in front of him, momentarily blinded by his panic. It wasn’t a clone, but-
Wait. Yes, yes the man in front of him was a clone. Jesse continuously had to tell himself, these guys are clones, despite the fact that we look nothing alike.
It was Tech, from the Bad Batch.
Jesse’s words spilled out of his mouth so quickly, he couldn’t stop them. “Tech! I checked the medbay but he wasn’t there he’s usually nearby I couldn’t find him something might’ve happened I have to find him, I have to find him, I have to protect-”
Tech cut Jesse off by shooting his hands out to grab his shoulders - harshly. Jesse’s rambling came to an abrupt stop.
“Jesse.” He squeezed Jesse’s shoulders gently. Tech’s voice was light but extremely authoritative, but that was normal for the Bad Batcher. He had a sharp ascent that wasn’t snappy for once - it was settling and trustworthy. “Look at me.”
His eyes felt so heavy when he moved them to meet Tech’s. Jesse was fairly positive that all of the clones had different shades of eyes - Tech’s was brown (of course) but Jesse thought they had an amber tint to them. All he could tell was that they were different from Kix’s; the eyes he was staring at only hours ago.
“Look at me.” Tech repeated, voice stern. “Now take deep breaths. That’s it- slow, slow deep breaths.”
Jesse tried. He really did, his slow exhales just came out crooked and staggering.
“C’mon. Deep breaths. Now calm down.” Tech soothed, staring into Jesse’s eyes, daring him to look away.
Jesse let his shoulders slouch and began taking more even breaths. It seemed to meet Tech’s expectations, because he removed his hands from Jesse’s shoulders and whispered. “There you go. See, your heartbeat is slowing down. You’re calm.”
Yeah. Yeah. He was calm now. He could be calm. He could be calm, since there was nothing to worry about.
A blush rose to Jesse’s cheeks and he brought a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “Ah- Hey Tech. S-sorry about that, I just sorta-”
“It’s alright, no harm done.” Tech said dismissively, looking Jesse up and down. “What are you so worked up about at 2200?”
“Uh… um, I can’t find Kix.” Jesse mumbled, still feeling his previous twinges of embarrassment.
He suddenly realized that he was unbearably thankful for running into Tech at this hour. He would never hear the end of it if he ran into Crosshair. So Jesse silently thanked the force that he didn’t run into Hunter, Wrecker, or Crosshair… basically none of the other Bad Batch teammates.
“That’s alright.” Tech said slowly and perkily, and the fact that he sounded like he was talking to a frightened youngling made Jesse more embarrassed. The fact that Jesse and Kix were close was no secret to any of the Torrent Company - along with Clone Force 99. “Did you check the medbay?”
“Y-yeah, he wasn’t there though.”
“It’s fine. I’ll help you look for him, if you want.” The usual now-it-all was being quite polite and supportive.
“No, no, it’s okay.” Jesse said quickly. If he did end up finding Kix, he didn’t want to be teased eternally for needing Tech’s help because he was so panicked.
“That’s fine.” Tech continued causally. “If I see him, I’ll let you know. Just… don’t spend all night looking for him. If he shows up, Kix definitely won’t appreciate you getting sleep deprivation because you were looking for him.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
When night rolled around and Rex forced Jesse and his brothers awake at 0400, Jesse hadn’t quit looking for Kix until 0200. So… he got about a total of an hour of sleep.
Great.
“Jesse.” Rex approached him after the warm-up. “How much sleep did you get?”
Jesse managed to smile at his captain, and extremely close brother. “Umm… three hours.” He lied.
Rex raised an eyebrow. “You did really well, surprisingly, for only three hours of sleep.” He grunted. “Why didn’t you sleep? Why didn’t Kix tell you to go to sleep?” The last question was asked in a joking matter.
The last question also send a shiver down Jesse’s spine. “I- uh, well, I was actually looking for Kix…” He admitted.
Rex raised his other eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Did you… find him?” The captain spoke in a calm voice, just acting like he was wondering where the 501st’s best medic wondered off to. But, Jesse knew Rex extremely well. Concern shown in his deep brown eyes.
Jesse shook his head. “No… Did he have to go assist somewhere? I-I figured that if he did he would’ve told me…” Jesse cursed himself for stuttering so much. That’s what happened when he was nervous or scared. Was Jesse nervous about the Kix situation?… YES.
Rex shook his head as well. “If he did, I would have been told.” He affirmed. “Who knows. Maybe… maybe, uh, he went out drink- no, I didn’t authorise time at 79’s last night… uh… alright, look he’s probably fine. He’ll show up again with some excuse why he was gone…”
Jesse nodded firmly. “Yeah. You’re right, I’ll just… wait, I suppose.”
He started to walk off, leaving the captain to deal with more important issues. But, a strong hand on his shoulder stopped him. It was Rex’s.
“Hey… tell me if you find him, alright?” Rex’s hushed voice reached his ear.
A little part of Jesse felt warm, knowing that Rex cared enough to ask. “Yes, sir.” He confirmed and the two finally split up.
Luckily, the 501st had no pressing issues to attend to today, so Jesse spend every spare moment of free time giving the entirety of Coruscant a shakedown. Kix was NOWHERE.
At some point in the day Rex approached him again. “Any luck?” The captain inquired.
Jesse shook his head, feeling more miserable by the second.
“Don’t worry, we’ll find him. I will help you look.” Rex put a reassuring hand on Jesse’s shoulder.
By the end of the day, lights out, Kix was still nowhere to be found.
Jesse kept glancing at the bunk below him, expecting that cheesy smile Kix always had. But it wasn’t there and that was a problem.
Most of all, Jesse felt more lonely than ever. He normally had some sort of presence beside him, some sort of comforting presence beside him, and it was gone. Just like that, a piece of Jesse was gone, and left a giant hole in his heart.
“If he doesn’t appear in his bunk tomorrow, then I’ll get everyone together. We’ll get all of the information we can. Promise.” Rex soothed.
It was an act, Jesse knew it. Rex was feeling almost as worried as Jesse was, not just because Torrent Company’s prime medic was gone, but because a brother was missing. A friend. A friend that needed to be found.
The next morning, Jesse cursed himself for getting his hopes up. He peaked under his bunk, fully convinced to see Kix curled up and snoring his life away, but it was empty. Just like it was last night.
They’ve been apart before for longer times, but this time… Kix just disappeared.
And Jesse didn’t know where he was.
--
Rex’s skin was itching after warm-up in the morning. It seemed longer than usual today, because Rex really wanted to get to something else more important.
Kix was missing, and finding him was the most important thing that Rex had to do today.
The medic needed to be found, for Jesse’s sake. Rex’s sake, too. He’s been missing for almost 48 hours. And THAT was a problem.
So, after warm-up, Rex triple-checked the reports for the last two days, in case Kix was needed anywhere for some reason. (It happened quite often, actually. Kix was a well-known medic through the GAR, and was sometimes pulled away from the 501st for a bit to help out somewhere else.)
Nope, Kix should be right here in the barracks.
Well, onto step 2 for finding Kix. Ask around.
Rex pulled together the few troopers that might’ve been in contact with Kix for the last few days. The Bad Batch, Jesse (duh), Echo, and Coric.
Hunter, Tech, and Crosshair showed up. Hunter said Wrecker was… busy. Not the most helpful thing Wrecker could be doing, but Rex couldn’t complain.
Jesse showed up with Echo. He probably told Echo everything. Maybe.
Echo wasn’t the same trooper anymore. After the Citadel and his rescue from the Techno Union, the ARC trooper had three prosthetic limbs. Both of his legs, and his right arm. (General Skywalker actually took it into his hands to help Echo with his new arm, since the jedi himself had a prosthetic arm. He showed the trooper what to do if this, this, or this happens, and how to exercise it regularly. Echo was so unbelievably grateful for their Jedi’s help. Rex was proud to serve under General Skywalker.) Since then, Echo had been mostly working with the 501st as an ARC trooper once more, and occasionally went on solo missions with the Bad Batch.
Coric, another medic in Torrent Company that worked with Kix, showed up as well.
Clearing his throat, Rex addressed the group. “I’m sorry to report that Kix has been missing for the last day and a half. I wanted to call you all together to see if we could piece together where he might’ve gone.”
Rex swept his eyes over the little group in front of him. Hunter had an frustratingly unreadable face (like he always did), Crosshair looked annoyed (like he always did), Tech looked distracted (... like he always did), Jesse was in clear distress, Echo looked like he wanted to say something, and Coric looked confused. Not a very helpful set of emotions.
“Why should we care?” Crosshair sneered dryly, after Rex finished explaining the reason for their gathering. “He’ll probably show up. And besides, last time I saw ‘em was three days ago.”
Rex raised an eyebrow. That was actually an improvement for the sniper. Rex completely expected him to tease Jesse for being so worried, or something even worse.
“Thank you, Crosshair…” Rex grunted before turning his attention to the rest of the team.
Hunter shrugged once Rex’s eyes were on him. “I haven’t seen him either. Not since the last mission we were assigned on together.”
“Nor I, but I saw Jesse looking for him the other night.” Tech added helpfully.
Rex frowned. “Yeah… alright.” He turned to Coric, Echo, and Jesse. “What about you guys?”
Coric shook his head. “I didn’t see him at all yesterday, but the day before he helped out in the medbay.” He hesitated. “I hope we have more evidence… he wasn’t here yesterday or today.” The experienced medic admitted.
“Actually,” Echo announced loudly. “I didn’t see him yesterday either, but the day before, he pulled me aside and said that he wanted to talk to me.”
This got Rex’s (and Jesse’s, for that matter) attention. “What’d he say?” He inquired.
Echo hesitated. “Well, he asked what I knew about Fives…” He trailed off.
Well that silenced just about everybody. Fives was a very touchy subject in Torrent Company… adding to the long list of touchy subjects.
“And?” Rex continued tersely.
“He looked like he wanted to continue, but then, uh, Rex, you called me away saying that I was needed. I told Kix to tell me what he wanted to tell me later and he agreed. I tried to look for him afterwards, but… I couldn’t find him and assumed he was sent off somewhere.” Echo admitted.
Not the best information Rex could’ve asked for, but it was a terrific start. “Force, thanks Echo. That helps.”
“Was this before or after the shower break?” Jesse asked suddenly.
“After.” Was Echo’s response.
Jesse turned his eyes to meet Rex’s. “Alright… that’d be the last time anyone saw him.”
Rex saw light in Jesse’s eyes. Hope. Hope that they had a lead and that they’d find Kix in no time.
Rex mirrored that hope.
“Alright. Echo, show me and Jesse where Kix talked to you. Everyone else is dismissed.”
Hunter and his team left, soon followed by Coric, who wished them luck. Echo led him and Jesse to a different medbay than the one that the 501st normally uses. It was no different from theirs, only smaller. Luckily, it was empty as well.
“Alright.” Rex let out a long breath of air. “I’ll go request to see the video camera feed. You guys… I dunno, look for clues?”
Jesse snorted and Echo grinned. “We’ll be the best clone detectives ever.” Jesse announced brightly, wavering from his depressed mood (for now).
Rex rolled his eyes jokingly at the two before leaving.
-
“Any luck?” Jesse perked up when Rex rejoined them in the medbay.
Rex nodded his head bitterly. “Well… I got permission to look at the cameras, and I saw Kix and Echo in here.” He cast a sideways glance at the ARC trooper. “Then… after Echo left, the camera suddenly stopped working. A few moments later, it regained the feed. Kix was gone.”
Rex winced when Jesse’s face instantly went from hopeful to despair. “What… what do you mean?”
“I mean he just… disappeared.” Rex said unhelpfully. His gaze swept over the two other troopers. Watching Jesse’s face get more and more miserable caused his own spirits to plummet.
-
Rex thought it over a million times. He continuously came to the same conclusion.
“So… what we know- well, assume, is that Kix wasn’t taken involuntarily.” Rex discussed the details with Jesse, three days after they investigated the camera feed.
“Ye… yeah, but…” Jesse paused, looking frustrated and desperate. Rex silently wished that he could comfort the trooper just like Kix could. “I-It could be anything, right?”
Rex nodded, his own desperation beginning the bubble. He hated seeing Jesse, or any of his troopers for that matter, acting like this. If Kix was ever going to show up, now would be a good time. Actually, four days ago would’ve been a good time.
But, hey, Rex is patient. If he knew that Kix would come back, he would wait and wait and wait forever. But… he doesn’t know if Kix would ever return. Jesse didn’t, either. And that was an issue.
“I’ll just have to discuss this with General Skywalker, and… well… I’ll see if we can do anything else.” Rex admitted, taking Jesse’s hand in his own and gently squeezing it.
Jesse nodded bitterly. Watching his brother stand and leave, Rex had a difficult time figuring out exactly what was going on in his head.
Skip to later that day.
Rex called Hunter, Coric, Echo, and Jesse together again. He just wanted to tell them all the results of their search.
The results weren’t happy.
“So… all we know is that Kix disappeared… and presumably voluntarily, since there was no sign of a struggle.” Rex finished, sweeping the faces of the gathered clones.
Coric bit his lip and leveled his eyes. The two medics worked together quite often, so he was obviously upset about Kix’s mysterious departure. Any brother would be.
Echo… was a mix of emotions. He looked angry, scared, and extremely confused. Most of all upset that he couldn’t actually do anything to improve the situation.
Maybe he didn’t want a redo of his and Fives’ departure.
Rex avoided Jesse’s eyes. He knew the only emotion he would see was sorrow, grief, and desperation. Now that Kix was, well, gone, he wondered how Jesse would cope.
Hopefully it wouldn’t hit him too hard.
Oh, who was he kidding? Jesse and Kix spend every moment of free time together. Jesse was Kix’s medic just like Kix was his. They looked out for each other. They were closer than anything.
And now, Kix was no longer with them.
Don’t jump to conclusions. Rex scolded himself. There’s still a chance. After Echo and Coric left, he heard Jesse’s retreating footsteps. He waited for Hunter to depart. It turns out Hunter didn’t plan on leaving just yet.
“Go after him.” Hunter’s rough voice broke the stillness when it reached Rex’s ears. Rex waited for him to elaborate, but silence followed.
The 501st captain hesitated before hoarsely whispering, “I figure that he’d need time to grieve alone.”
“That wasn’t a suggestion, Rex.” Hunter growled. The two captains stood face to face, arms crossed. “I know that I don’t work with Regs that often, but I know the look that was on his face. I know that trooper can’t be alone right now. I know that Jesse can not be alone right now.” Hunter’s dark voice continued before Rex could object.
Jesse. Rex thought. Not “that trooper.” Nice to know that Hunter cared.
Rex chewed his lip a little bit (a bad habit he developed) before turning away from Hunter and following the same path Jesse took.
He assumed that Jesse was in his sleeping quarters.
He was right.
Rex entered without knocking. Once inside, he silently thanked the Force for the empty room; excluding him and his grieving brother.
The grieving brother in question was sitting on his bunk, motionless and silent. The only thing Rex could hear was his and Jesse’s breathing.
“Jesse…?” Rex’s lips barely moved when he said Jesse’s name. The mood was too eerie for Rex to want to make any loud noises.
Silence. Then, Jesse’s voice responded in a whisper. “Go away.” Jesse’s back was to Rex, so the captain didn’t see his lips move and just barely heard the words. Even though, Rex ignored the trooper’s request. He knew Jesse didn’t mean it.
“Jesse.” Rex murmured again walked up to stand beside his brother. Jesse’s name left his lips one more time before Rex sat down beside him.
The trooper beside him had his hands covering his face and his elbows on his knees. “W-Why…” Jesse began, but fell silent. He seemed to be choking on his own breath, struggling to find something solid to hang on to.
Rex leisurely placed an arm around Jesse, his hand resting on the other trooper’s shoulder. Jesse did the rest, he almost immediately squeezed up against the captain and sighed, greatly appreciating the contact.
Rex gently ran the fingers of his other hand over the tattoo of Jesse’s shaved head. With a low voice, he continued Jesse’s question. “Why would he leave willingly…?”
Jesse nodded into Rex’s shoulder.
The captain shook his head. “I don’t know, vod, but he’d have to have some good reason.
His words didn’t seem to help. Jesse clutched onto Rex tighter. “D… Do you think…?” The question trailed off.
Rex knew what he was thinking. It crossed his mind as well.
Jesse wanted to know if Kix would desert them. He wanted to know if Kix would become a deserter.
Giving a few reassuring squeezes to Jesse’s shoulders, Rex continued. “No. Kix would never do that. He’d never abandon us.” He paused. “He’ll come back.” Rex leaned back to look at Jesse’s face. It was beginning to flush a shade of red, and not from embarrassment.
“Jesse, he loves you. Kix would not leave and then never return. Some way he’ll come back. He-He’d never just leave us. He’ll come back.” Rex felt his voice crack at the promise he just made. He held Jesse tighter.
Jesse sniffled. “Y-You promise…?” He whined. Rex could feel tears drip onto his shoulders.
“Kix will come back to us. I know he will. He’s our brother. H-He’ll come back. He won’t leave us forever. He’ll come back.” He tried to hide the cracks in his voice through a whisper.
Anything Jesse planned to say was muffled when he suddenly shoved his face into the crook in between Rex’s neck and shoulder, sobbing.
Now, all Rex could do was hold his brother close while they cried, and silently pray to the Force that he was right.