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Okinawa was everything Brisbane wasn’t, quieter and way simpler with the sound of waves colliding against the shore. Margax wasn’t aware of this until the move to Japan that changed her entire life, not the only thing that did: the day she stepped into that classroom and saw the admired student with perfect cool tone brown hair and the sun shone like it was meant to be shining for her— it was Shin Suki.
“My apology for the disturbance, is this the writing class?” Margaux asked stiffly with utmost sincerity.
“Yep! Welcome in, ya new?” Suki stood in the middle of the class and replied casually. Margaux knew an accent when she heard one so clearly.
Margaux bowed lightly before moving closer to Suki where she could see the tiny freckles dotted across her face which were enhanced by the afternoon sun, big doe eyes and—
“And your name is…?” The question snapped Margaux back to reality, she was too engrossed by the girl before her.
“Valentine Margaux, pleasure to meet you.” Margaux blurted quickly, hopefully she didn’t notice that.
The girl raised one of her eyebrows in confusion, Margaux almost missed the lift in the corner of her mouth. “I’m Shin Suki, call me Shin— or Suki, I don't really mind either way.” Suki replied calmly with something in hervoice that Margaux couldn’t pinpoint. Then, she continued, “you’ve got a foreign name, are you new here?”
Margaux was taken aback by the question, because she’d been here since high school started for her, which was 2 years ago. “No… not really, I moved here at 10…”
“I know, I meant to this school. I haven’t seen you around here.”
“Still no,” Margaux shook her head and paused briefly before continuing. “You must not have been looking then.”
“I woulda’ seen you with those striking bangs, Margaux-chan.” Her voice lit with playfulness. Margaux knew instantly just what type of person Suki was.
One of the girls sitting somewhere in the classroom cleared her throat obnoxiously. “Can we know more about the competition?”
The remark got their attention immediately as Margaux shuffled to sit a few desks behind the others. She had seen the poster for the writing competition beforehand and wondered why she had only seen it just now. Margaux loved writing ever since she could remember, whether it’d be poems, whimsical stories, or even scripts that you’d find on the internet in some random blog—she’d done it all. It was the only thing that kept her from deteriorating when she had to adapt all over again to the new island and outlandish places.
It turned out the writing competition would take place in two months and they had yet to choose the three candidates who would represent the class and compete against each other. Competing in writing prose sounded daunting to Margaux, especially when she knew she could be going against Suki. Margaux hadn’t seen Suki’s writing yet, but she planned to the second she made way to hide behind the walls of her room.
When Margaux opened the school’s website, going to the achievements tab and saw Suki holding an award—first place in prose writing while giving her best cheeky smile, laid out in front of her as Margaux envisioned. It was to be expected that the best writer in the school would have been the leader of the class itself. Margaux was nothing if not inspired.
The next time she saw Suki was during the class gathering a few days later where the whole class— which consisted of a total of seven people— was hanging out at the school’s park outlooking the beach, so close that patches of sand were visible through the thick grass.
The plan of the gathering was to write a short poem about the beach and read it aloud. During the course of the writing session, Margaux couldn’t help but to take a glimpse of Suki, where she was often seen laughing cheerily— giving writing advice, probably, Margaux didn’t know.
As if she could feel the way Margaux was burning a hole in her back, Suki’s eyes suddenly met hers, brown met her own hazel. Margaux wasn’t the type of person who backed down easily, so it turned into a staring contest until Suki decided to make a foul play move by winking and chuckling amusingly. Margaux broke eye contact with a bit of reddish tint on her cheeks.
By the end of the session, most of the students had already parted ways when Margaux voluntarily helped Suki by folding the mat they were using to sit on. Suki was still talking to a few students before bidding them goodbye and appearing right in front of her.
“Thanks for helping, Margaux-chan.” The corner of her lips lift up, showing off the dimples on both her cheeks.
Margaux stood up and handed the mat to Suki. “Stop calling me that, we’re not close.”
“Let’s be closer then,” Suki paused to look over the beach, which made Margaux follow her movement. The sun had started to set, she contemplated before continuing, “Wanna walk along the shore?”
“I don’t plan on getting wet.” Margaux responded almost instantly.
Suki giggled. "Nobody forces you to.”
After seeing her a few times, Margaux noticed that Suki had this particular expression plastered across her face at all times, like a fox living inside a human flesh and bones. Exactly like the one she had right now, as they aimlessly walk along the shore, leaving prints behind.
“So… what got you into writing?” Suki asked after approximately three minutes of silence since they started walking of what it looked like towards the setting sun.
Margaux hesitated before replying. “My grandmother, she used to write me letters a lot.”
“Yeah?” Suki looked over at her and their eyes met.
“Yeah…” Trying to recall fond memories she knew she stored somewhere inside her mind. “Back when I was still in Brisbane— my old hometown, and she was here in Okinawa. Never missed a single week.” Margaux choked out a laugh.
“Must’ve felt nice.” Suki uttered quietly.
“It really was, then she got sick and we had to take care of her. That’s why we moved here.” Margaux explained honestly.
“Oh, I'm sorry.” Her steps were slowing down which made Margaux come to a halt.
“Don’t be, it was a long time ago,” Margaux continued walking, lightly kicking the sand while at it. “Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble.”
It was as if Margaux was bewitched into telling her life story. It was so unlike her that she wondered if Suki had that natural effect on her, which Margaux wouldn’t have been surprised by.
“Why are you apologizing? It’s interesting actually, this is the longest I've heard you talk.” The fox-y expression on Suki’s face, it was back.
“Yeah, well, you haven’t known me all that long either.” Margaux countered playfully, matching her energy.
Suki let out a snort, her hand reaching up to ruffle Margaux’s hair cheerily. “You’re funny Margaux-chan, and your bangs are s’cute.”
Margaux was anything but funny and her hair got all messed up but she let that slip anyway.
“What about you?” At this point, Margaux was intrigued about Suki.
It turned out that Suki had also been writing since she was little. She had always felt there were too many words in her too little body and decided to pour it all out in a form of writing. What surprised Margaux was that Suki wasn’t born with talent but instead she went and polished her inner instincts.
After that day, they spent a lot of the days with each other; more walking by the beach— sometimes the park, hanging out during lunch break, going to each other’s houses, sharing a dessert after a meal, taking a dip in the ocean when the days were warmer. They became inseparable so quickly that Margaux didn’t even know it was possible, it was the first for her, and she was glad it had been with Suki.
Margaux found out a lot of things about Suki, one of them being that she had a brother that she claimed to be despised of, but it explained a lot of her silly, sometimes mean-spirited behavior. Margaux wouldn’t have known, because in contrast to her, she grew up only depending on herself— quiet and kept most of her thoughts to herself.
One of the best days Margaux ever had was spent entirely with Suki. She decided it would have been good to take the day off and took the bus to get to their destination where they had to hike for fifteen minutes before arriving at a breathtaking waterfall. How did Suki even know about this place? The thought crossed Margaux’s mind. They spent half the day playing in the water then descending back to the park where they started hiking. They ate early dinner with the sun forced its way through the trees. It was mesmerizing, especially seeing Suki with her big smile talking her way throughout her sandwich. It made Margaux forget about everything that had ever existed, even just for a moment.
A few days later, Suki was in her room, laying in her bed and flipping through her old magazines with her head at the edge, almost looking at Margaux upside down. At this point, the writing competition was approaching and they had just gotten back from the class’s meeting after picking the three students who were going to compete against each other— of course, Magaux and Suki were chosen.
From the second they reached Margaux’s house, Suki was quieter than usual, just a tiny bit but still very noticeable. Margaux didn’t put too much thought into it because they were still talking like normal.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Margaux uttered in the silence of her room while she sat on the floor, her legs crossed and her fingers picking at the corner of a book.
Suki took her time answering, “hmm? Nothing, really.”
Margaux frowned and she made sure Suki saw it.
“What?” Suki glanced at her before closing the magazine altogether.
“Nothing, really.” Margaux repeated her words teasingly and that made Suki let out a chuckle.
“You’ve gotten so funny, Margaux-chan. Be careful or I might think a tad bit of my personality is rubbing off on you.” Suki said amusingly.
Margaux scoffed. “No way, you literally said that the first time we met.”
“What do you know? I’m charming~” And the fox was back, she focused her gaze on Margaux then she continued, “Yanno’ Margaux, from this angle your bangs have gotten almost past your eyebrows.”
“I don’t think the angle really matters… it had gone past my brows either way.” Margaux said plainly and innocently.
“Why are you so witty today? This isn’t the Margaux-chan I know.” Suki half-shouted jokingly as they exchanged banters.
Margaux shrugged. “Do you want to try to trim it?”
“YES!” Suki exclaimed excitedly before flipping on her stomach and getting ready to launch herself at Margaux.
In the next minute, they were sitting face to face, so close that Margaux could feel the warmth of her breath, closer because the hand holding the back of her head was keeping her still. The trim was quick as Suki was good with her hands, she trimmed it so that her bangs were slightly above her eyebrows, just as Margaux liked it.
Suki helped brush the little hairs out of her face but most didn’t move, so she suggested, “Please wash your face, you look like you’ve got a mustache.”
Margaux didn’t respond but her expression spoke for itself, she rolled her eyes before standing up and going to the bathroom, which made Suki giggle.
Being alone in Margaux’s room got her eyes wandering around. She spotted what looked like a leather journal under the side table and grabbed it without hesitation. The book was full of nothing but writings— Margaux’s writing; she had seen pieces of her writing before but never whole. So the full pieces of her art—poems, prose, scribbles of her thoughts and even scraps— stunned Suki.
She realized that Margaux was brilliant with her words like it’d been carefully picked yet it seemed like it held little effort, because there were too many— too many pieces that would have made an uncaring mother cry. She unlocked a new side to Margaux, that the quiet and reserved Margaux was just a facade. Margaux was loud with her words too, just like Suki, but unlike her, Margaux was a genius. She closed the book and felt something switched within her.
The next day, Suki was not on the school’s rooftop like Margaux had predicted. Margaux would often find her at the ledge outlooking the endless sea, so they just kept meeting there, during lunch, before the writing class, after school. It was their thing until it was not, because a day had passed and Margaux still couldn’t find her. When she tried looking in her classroom, she’d found out from Suki’s classmate that she hadn’t been coming to school for two days in a row.
So like any person would have done, Margaux headed over to her house right after school. Despite the troubled look on her own face, Suki’s mother greeted her warmly, invited her in, not without worrying about the mess.
Margaux shook her head with a reassuring look, because the slight mess was the last thing on her mind. “May I ask why Suki hasn’t been coming to school?”
Suki’s mother paused on her step to look at her, her face just as wondering as she was. “She said that she wasn’t feeling good, but when I checked her temperature, everything’s normal.” She explained,
“May I go in?” Margaux asked and Suki’s mother replied with a nod. She expressed her thanks before going toward Suki’s bedroom, lightly knocking on the shoji.
“Suki, I’m coming in.” Without hesitation, Margaux slid it open and saw papers messily scattered across the floor, and Suki on her desk—writing something, Margaux couldn’t tell.
Sensing the movement, Suki turned around for a moment just to turn back away and that irked Margaux.
“Are you sick?” She stepped further into the room, noticing that the room was way messier than it was at first glance. “What is up with you?”
“Why are you here?” Suki replied coldly. Instantly, Margaux realized that this wasn’t the Suki she knew.
“You weren’t at school for days, what was I supposed to do?” Margaux saw the setting sun through Suki’s window. It felt personal.
She received no response from Suki, not even a glance. Then Margaux continued, “your mother looked worried.”
“S’fine.” From where Margaux was standing, she could see that Suki scribbled something on the paper she was writing on.
“That’s it?” Margaux was starting to get frustrated by her lack of response. This was definitely not the Suki she knew, the one she knew would have yelled at her for barging into her room and she would have tackled her on to the bed and be so enthusiastic over Margaux dropping by. Or maybe Margaux just didn’t know anything else about her.
She just kept writing and writing and writing on end, blatantly ignoring Margaux’s presence. She wouldn’t have known the difference in talking to a brick wall.
“I don’t know what is wrong with you, but you need to get over yourself.” That was the last thing Margaux said before walking out her room.
Suki stopped writing the second Margaux was out of sight, she let out a sigh before pushing down her pencil so hard that it broke.
There were only two days left before the competition and they had one last class before it took place. Everything went back to normal except for Margaux. Suki was back to her normal self just like before— way before she knew Margaux. It was odd to not be whined over by her the second Margaux stepped into the class. But Suki kept her distance and so did Margaux.
The competition rolled around and as expected— Margaux won first place while Suki came second. It was only by a margin but a loss was still a loss to Suki. She tried her hardest to look pleased with the outcome, but of course with Margaux being the observant freak that she was, she had noticed Suki from where she was standing. They made eye contact and before Suki got lost in them again, she looked away.
A few long months later, neither of them tried to reconcile the friendship. The writing class had been inactive since the competition had been concluded as it was nearing their graduation, so they never had the chance to purposefully run into each other again. It was weird to Margaux because seeing Suki laughed over nothing used to make her content, and now it felt like the sun had been taken away, only the moon remains.
It was spring when their graduation took place. The beach was even more captivating in the afternoon and a few ceremonies later. Suki decided it would be nice to spend time taking in the school’s rooftop scenery one last time before moving on from this phase of her life. Until—
“You’re here.” It startled Suki when she heard Margaux’s voice from a distance, just a few meters away from her.
“What are you doing here?” Suki replied with the same coldness she had back in her paper-scattered-room.
“Figured you’d be here.” Margaux drew closer, side to side outlooking the beach, not caring about the sun in their eyes. Then she continued, “I was here, looking for you, that day.”
Even months later, Suki still held her walls up high so that Margaux couldn’t reach her.
Margaux let out a sigh before starting again, “I never knew what happened, you never told me.”
Suddenly, the breeze got sharper. Suki scoffed. “You’re a genius, Margaux. I couldn’t live by the fact that you’re way above me when I’ve trained my whole life to be perf—”
“I looked up to you— since the first day we met, I have never looked anywhere but you!”
The confession made Suki freeze. There’s no way, Suki had thought.
“I was happy when we got closer. You were the one who initiated our friendship.” Margaux paused to breathe out the air she was not conscious holding in. “Then you decided it was over all by yourself, like how you started it.”
Suki hesitated for a second. “I had to… before my resentment grew bigger.”
“Hasn’t it already?” Margaux said with a heavy heart. Suki looked at Margaux just to see she had already focused into her own eyes, searching for anything she could find. Margaux probably had a feeling this was the last time that her hazel met Suki’s brown.
Suki smiled bitterly, “I’m moving to Australia after this.”
Margaux wanted to laugh but it wasn’t coming out the way she wanted to. “Why?”
“No reason.” The laughter from the park below rang loudly in Suki’s ear, before shrugging it off. “My parents are waiting for me.”
It took Margaux a good minute to comprehend that this was it and it was going to be over for the second time. “That’s it?”
“This is it.” Suki slowly backed herself, with a big-teary smile on her face, like letting go a burden on her shoulder. She was finally free. “See you around, Margaux-chan.”
Margaux just now realized that they’ve spent more time avoiding each other than they were inseparable, but it all hurt the same. Within those two months, Suki brought out parts of Margaux that she didn’t know she had in her—having a connection with someone other than herself, and standing on the rooftop with Suki slipping through the door felt like she was taking away everything she’d given to Margaux.
She didn’t even give Margaux a chance to respond. She never looked back. Before Margaux knew it, she'd lost the sun completely.