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STAGE ONE: DENIAL
impulse knows how it looks, okay? he’s had about a million people assume him and skizz are dating. but they aren’t. sure, they’re both gay. and sure, they’re... closer than the average friendship! but that doesn’t have to mean they’re in a relationship! and they’re not! they’re just friends. and that’s all they’ll ever be.
they’ve known each other for over 10 years now, and not once has impulse had even the slightest romantic feeling for skizz. everything he feels is strictly platonic. it's great. he loves all his friends, but especially skizz, who’s been by his side every moment of his life. he’s actually glad he doesn’t like him romantically, because that would certainly ruin what impulse is certain is the most important relationship in his life.
they’re a package deal, basically. imp and skizz, the demon and angel on your shoulder. they’ve plotted out every step of their future together, from moving to the same city for work, to maybe starting a podcast in their spare time (they’ve even joked about having their friends guest star on it when they do start it up). they’ve texted every day for the past… however long it’s been since skizz finally convinced his parents to let him get a phone.
so sure, impulse knows how it looks. but everyone but complete idiots knows not to judge a book by its cover, and as gay as they may seem. impulse knows skizz would never like him. skizz hasn’t liked anyone before! he knows that for a fact- his best friend is demi-romantic, and he’s never shown any interest in any of their mutual friends, and their mutual friends just so happen to be the only friends both of them have. so he knows skizz hasn’t gone off and got a crush on some random guy.
plus, skizz would tell him! skizz and impulse tell each other everything. its how you maintain long-lasting friendships, after all. once you’re done with the introspection, getting to know each other, and all the deep conversations, what’s left is the mundane things, which is why impulse knows three things. 1. skizz had cheerios for breakfast (the whole grain kind, because the grocery store was out of honeynut) 2. earlier today, skizz purchased a dog stuffed animal from a crochet shop he’s in, and then proceeded to name it something so ridiculously long and complicated impulse resorted to just calling it kevin. 3. skizz is currently on his way to pick impulse up to take him to a sleepover at x’s.
at this point, impulse has been in skizz’ car more than he has his own. skizz’ older sister got her drivers license last year, and because she’s the coolest person ever (barring skizz, of course) she’s been using that license to ferry impulse and skizz to their friends house whenever the weather is too awful to enjoy taking the bus. and seeing as it’s currently the middle of autumn and the ground outside is a mix of squelchy, muddy ground and wet pathways covered in slippery leaves, skizz’ sister agreed without argument that it was probably safer to just drive instead of having them take the 20 minutes walk to the bus stop- especially seeing as it’s currently pouring down and showing signs of a thunderstorm beginning.
which leads to now, where impulse is sitting on a chair on his porch waiting for skizz’ sisters (recognizably bright pink) car to spirit him away like cinderella’s pumpkin coach. he doesn’t exactly mind it though- the scent and sounds of the rain always remind him of years ago, back when he stumbled into skizz’ wooden house in the forest in the middle of a storm. while the day itself was pretty scary (and doubly so for two sets of parents who couldn’t find their kids in the one of the worst kinds of weather for a little kid to wander in) impulse couldn’t bring himself to regret his childhood decisions- after all, without that storm, he doubts he would have met or became friends with skizz, the angel so different for his demonic counterpart a friendship under any other circumstance would be nigh-impossible.
oftentimes during storms he finds himself reminiscing on the years of friendship he and skizz share. he’s incredibly grateful for them, though he really can’t recall the moment skizz went from ‘someone to be wary about’ to ‘his only friend’ to ‘the most important person in his life’. back when they first met, and for years after, people feared impulse, as they tend to do with most ‘dangerous’ hybrids (he knows joel, pearl and tango have all had their fair share of discrimination). but skizz was never scared of him, not really. from the moment impulse emerged from the forest, lost and scared and soaked to the bone. not because of his angelic traits, which surely must have been screaming at him to run from his natural enemy. instead, he chose to be kind, simply because that’s what skizz is.
that’s why skizz is the most important person in impulses life. because skizz is what impulse wants to be; kind, selfless and naturally likeable. sure, it’s not possible for a demon like him, but it’s nice to watch skizz and his indomitable spirit charm everyone he comes across. sure, he gets a little jealous sometimes of how easily his best friend makes connections, but skizz has made it his life lesson to pull him into every single friendship he makes. he’s grateful, but honestly he’s also a bit surprised no one has refused yet. he knows almost everyone he meets is annoyed or confused by the cheerful angel dragging around an introverted demon.
that’s why he’s so grateful for the hermits. from the moment tango, who he’d bonded with over a shared love of math and redstone, introduced him to the rest of his friend group, he knew he’d found his people. the hermits were a group of misfits who everyone knew but most people thought were weird. they were the first friends he’d ever made without skizz’ assistance. that isn’t to say skizz isn’t a part of the group, though- impulse returned the favour skizz had been paying him for years, and introduced him to the kindest people he’d ever met. since then, they’d merged perfectly with the hermits. it was amazing, and he’d never been more content with his life.
he’s shaken from his thoughts by a buzzing from his phone
1 NEW TEXT FROM: skizzle the man
impy
buddy
look up
your chariot has arrived!
he tilts his head up from the glowing screen and meets his friends eyes from where he’s waving out of an open window. ‘for stars sake- SKIZZ!! shut the window!’ he pulls his hood up and runs down the driveway to slide into the car.
‘aww, but i wanted to talk to you!’
‘skizz, i appreciate the effort but it is pouring out, i’d prefer my seat stay dry.’
they spend the majority of the car ride fighting over who gets to give x the multipack drinks they’re bringing. in impulses opinion, it should be skizz. in skizz’ opinion, it should be impulse. they finish the argument as they turn onto xisumas driveway.
‘skizz, babe, i appreciate the generosity but i think, seeing as you bought the drinks, you’re the better person to gift them? i don’t think x would care whether it’s you or me giving them, even if i introduced you to them?’
‘wait, did you two finally get together?’
‘WHAT??’
‘..what??’
‘ohhh my god you guys are calling each other babe PLATONICALLY??’
impulse pauses. really? out of all people to think skizz and impulse were dating, even his sister thought so?? he thought she knew them better.
‘...yes? we don’t like each other.’
‘...aaaalright…’
‘we don’t!’
impulse is too busy getting out of the car to notice the commiserating look skizz’ sister shares with skizz, or the bemused sigh he lets out in return.
STAGE TWO: ANGER
it’s past 1am by the time someone (impulse couldn’t figure out who in all the chaos) suggested party games. they’d already eaten dinner, watched several movies and had at least two pillow fights (impulse isn’t sure if the third counted because it was basically just grian hitting scar with a pillow, scar collapsing to the ground in mock-betrayal, and mumbo beating grian until he surrendered in an act of revenge for scar). they’d done most typical sleepover activities, so it was probably time to move on to something else. and what else to do but the other most popular sleepover activity?
a couple of ideas were tossed around, but they concluded on starting with two truths and a lie, then truth or dare, switching to put a finger down and finishing with spin the bottle/seven minutes in heaven (though they were replacing the alcohol with a two-litre bottle of coke). the goal was absolutely no sleeping, and with the amount of people here, impulse would be surprised if their goal wasn’t accomplished.
the round started with gem. ‘two truths and a lie- i’m proficient in multiple types of fighting, including hand to hand. i’ve never left canada, not even to go to america. i’ve never tried mayonnaise.’ everyone decided it was probably the third, because who hasn’t tried mayonnaise, but then gem pulled up a photo of her on the eiffel tower. they were immediately distracted from the game for several minutes while most of the hermits disappeared in a hunt for mayonnaise to force gem to try it.
only a few hermits remain in the room-mumbo stays to keep scar company, as he’s already settled onto the ground and its optimal for him to remain there for the night. bdubs, etho and beef remain half-on their sleeping bags, beef and etho fiddling with some redstone assignment one of them brought while bdubs attempts to distract them (no one should be thinking about school at a sleepover!). and skizz and impulse stay where they are, squished in a corner. skizz is already nursing the first of three pacific punch monsters (his favourite flavour) that he brought to survive the projected all-nighter. impulse has his four cans of redbull tucked off to the side. they’ve never agreed on energy drink brands, but impulse has to admit pacific punch is the least awful of all monsters. skizz has always had good taste.
the rest of the hermits return, and gem shares her conclusion on mayonnaise- absolutely disgusting, and with a terrible texture as well. they return to the game, and now it’s pearls turn. ‘as a child, i genuinely believed i could capture the moon if i could convince it to fall in love with me. my brother called me a stereotype. i’ve eaten both dirt, raw eggs and raw meat and been fine. i can fence.’ pearl has never even picked up a sword in her life. several people are questioning how pearl is still alive.
now it’s grains turn. he decides to hit everyone with emotional damage by saying ‘two truths and a lie- the reason i say pix and i are related is because we were kidnapped by the same cult and trauma-bonded. i don’t know how to ride a bike. my kindergarten boyfriend killed his last girlfriend.’ everyone is mutually horrified when grian reveals it’s the middle one that’s a lie, except scar and mumbo, who seem used to it, and grian himself who is laughing hysterically.
everyone is too frightened to ask for clarification, so they move on to mumbo, who is surprisingly chill. ‘two truths and a lie- i was trending for about three months on reddit because i came up with an swer to this really hard redstone question. i have never completed a lego set successfully, without losing a piece of breaking it midway through, even though my parents have bought me a lego set every christmas since i turned seven. i’m too embarrassed to admit it. i once got stuck on the roof of my middle school in the middle of winter for three hours before someone noticed.’ it turns out the last one is a lie- it was actually five hours. of course.
next comes scar, who says ‘i was once possessed by an angry spirit for a day after ghost hunting, but i was such an angsty teen at the time that my parents didn’t even notice. i only tried jello last year. i’ve done a cartwheel before.’ everyone is surprised to find that scar actually tried jello for the first time
a week ago. when asked his opinion on the snack, the only adjective he can use to describe it is gooey. he then proceeds to compare the texture to the texture of ectoplasm from the time he was possessed by a ghost. not a single person wanted to know that.
several people go around until it comes xisuma, who pulls out a tricky one with ‘i’m related to several astronauts. i have a twin brother, but he turns invisible every time you guys come over. i’m capable of speaking seven languages fluently.’ turns out, xisuma isn’t related to any astronauts, though he is related to a famous internet magician, who likes to play vanishing tricks.
then it’s cleo’s turn. ‘uh, i’ve had several fashion pieces i’ve designed be picked uo by brands and appear on the red carpet. i once at a guys arm but like… consensually. i can do a backflip.’ turns out, cleo is not much of an acrobat. no one is really surprised. they pause after cleo’s turn to go make popcorn, during which several pillowfights once again break out, before pearl threatens to kick them from the kitchen for fear of lighting something on fire. once the popcorn is made (and extra butter is added. skizz and impulse refuse to share popcorn because they don’t agree on seasoning. skizz adds a whole stick of butter!! and anyways, three tablespoons of salt isn't that much…) the hermits return upstairs to resume their game.
finally it comes to skizz. ‘hmm… two truths and a lie- i’m scared of thunderstorms, i’ve drank over 50 monsters in the last three months, and the only time i’ve ever screamed while watching a horror movie was when the dog died.’ impulse immediately calls the first one a lie, to while several people call foul. they seem to think it’s unfair because impulse has an advantage seeing as he’s ‘obsessed with skizz’? which is… totally untrue. xisuma gestures to the others for silence and lets impulse start his turn. once he’s finished, they’ll move on to truth or dare.
he takes a few moments to think. ‘uh, i’ve never tried watermelon redbull. i once set fire to my room and destroyed my homework which i hadn’t done so it was actually kind of good. i’ve never liked anyone before.’
‘oh, it’s number three for sure, you two are literally an old marries couple’
impulse immediately rounds on gem, annoyance building in his chest.
‘i swear to the stars, if ONE MORE PERSON ACCUSES ME AND SKIZZ OF BEING A COUPLE, I’M GOING TO.. I’M GOING TO…. UGH!! i’m going to hurt someone!! me and skizz are not dating!! and for your information, watermelon redbull is my favourite!’
he’s then caught up in everyone's efforts to move on to truth or dare, so wrapped up in the joy of his messy friend group that he doesn’t even notice gem patting skizz on the back and whispering words of hopeless encouragement.
STAGE THREE: BARGAINING
truth or dare once again starts on gem. impulse decides he’s going to take a break, and locks himself in xisuma’s basement bathroom (his personal favourite, as discovered by several pervious sleepovers. it has dimmable lights and the bathtub is actually pretty nice to sit in when he gets overstimulated). he does that a lot, actually. it’s not like he dislikes his friends or anything- he enjoys their company a lot. but they can definitely be a bit much, especially in big groups like today. so he sits in the bathroom for a while.
in all honesty, he doesn’t really understand why he’s so upset when people assume him and skizz are in a relationship. in all honesty, he thinks skizz would be an amazing partner. he’s kind, sweet, funny, and definitely not bad looking. it’s not an insult for him to be in a relationship with skizz. he would be honoured if skizz wanted to date him. but that’s the thing- skizz would never do that. skizz is far too good for him, and impulse is clearly not his type. technically, he has no clue what skizz’ taste is, but he has good taste so surely he wouldn't like impulse of all people.
plus, they’re friends!! just friends! they’ve been friends since forever, and impulse wouldn’t throw all those years away for a small chance of skizz liking him back. not that he wants to. because he doesn’t like skizz. sure, there are moments he considers what it might be like if skizz and him were together. sometimes it seems like their excursions are dates, even; typical couples activities like movies, picnics, wandering museums or going to the beach together. their promises to each other sometimes sound like movie scripts or wedding vows. he knows why people think they’re together.
but he also knows why they can never be together. it just wouldn’t work. skizz is skizz- funny, extroverted, charming. within minutes of meeting people, he has them wrapped around his finger. he deserves someone like that, someone like him, to be with. not someone like him, who can barely stand a three hour excursion without needing to lock himself in his room after. impulse knows that. he doesn’t know why it feels like he’s trying to convince himself. it’s true. he swears it’s true. he’s knocked from his internal argument by a knock on the door.
‘hey, dippledop? almost everyone’s had their turn now, why don’t you come back up? gem says she’s sorry for upsetting you.’
impulse is tempted to let the words hanging in the air remain there, to stay silent until his best friend returns upstairs, to sit and sit and sit with his thoughts like he always does, but he’s always been weak for skizz. who wouldn’t be?
skizz’ grin is almost blinding when he opens up the door. he doesn’t know why he feels himself flush when skizz offers a hand to help him up from where he’s sitting, leaning against the sink cabinet. impulse thinks of the meme he sees sometimes, of an angel holding out a hand to help someone up. in the lighting, skizz looks holy.
everyone’s laughing by the time they return upstairs. impulse feels like something inside him is aching. he cracks open a red bull and lets the caffeine burn away his numbness. he feels like someone might be talking to him. he feels like he’s missing something. he’s always missing something, and he can’t figure out what it is.
someone is calling him, he realizes a second later, looking up and meeting the eyes of a concerned circle of hermits.
‘are you alright, impy?’
‘yeah, yeah, just savouring my redbull. someone gonna ask me the question?’
‘yeah, actually,’ says gem, something mischievous sparkling in her eyes. ‘truth or dare, impulse?’
‘uhhh, dare.’
‘kiss the most attractive person in this room.’
he freezes, feels his cheeks heat. he can’t stop his eyes from flicking over and meeting skizz’, watching his eyes widen. no. no. he can’t ruin this. he doesn’t even like skizz. where are these thoughts coming from?
‘truth. i want truth.’
‘why are you so insistent that you and skizz aren’t together? don’t you feel like that might be insulting to him?’
he pauses, processing those words.
‘insulting?’
then he sighs. he didn't really want to explain all of his reasons, but whatever gets him out of that stupid dare.
‘skizz is an angel. i’m a demon. he’s the most holy thing capable of existing on this earth. he’s basically perfection in hybrid form. he’s funny, sweet, always remembers things about people. he puts care and love into every single action he does. he’s the most charming, charismatic, peoples-person i’ve ever met aside from scar, and scar is literally magic. i’m a demon. i’m literally created to sin, even if i don’t want to. i’m meant to be unforgivable, i’m an angels natural enemy. even beyond that, i’m skizz’ opposite. i’m not naturally funny or charismatic, people don’t really like me, and i prefer to be alone most of the time. skizz is the most perfect being to exist on the planet, he even looks the part! he’d never like someone like me. plus, like we’re best buds. wouldn't wanna ruin the dream team, you know?’
the entire time he spoke, he watched as gems jaw dropped lower and lower.
‘...why are you looking at me like that?’
‘sorry. you said all that… but you don’t like skizz?’
‘pfft, nah, i think i’d know if i liked my best bud.’
impulse thought he heard someone snort, and another person mutter ‘are you sure’?
he really felt like he was missing something here…
STAGE FOUR: DEPRESSION
finally, they were onto the third game, put a finger down. impulse was sure this one was going to be more chill. in fact, maybe he could just sneak away again… have a little nap in the tub…
‘psst… skizz…’
‘yeah?’
‘wanna have a nap in the tub downstairs?’
‘what?’
‘a nap. in the bathroom downstairs You stole me from earlier. we can bring our sleeping bags and pillows… there's dimmable lights!’
‘...y’know what, sure. dop, you’re brilliant’
they quietly tried to collect their stuff while everyone else decided on the rules. they’d concluded on three rounds, because it was a pretty quick game. impulse and skizz quickly decided they’d come back on the third round, and got up to leave.
‘hey, where are you two going?’
‘uhhh. we’re… hanging out in the basement bathroom? cause its cool?’
‘...what?’
‘stop questioning me. can someone come get us when the third round starts?’
‘y’know what, impulse, iam done questioning you. sure. whatever. we can do that. just… get out of here. i’m done dealing with your stupid face. skizz, i pity you.’
‘rude!!’
they made their way downstairs again. impulse shoved a few pillows on the bottom of the tub and one against the wall. they settled themselves in a comfortable position- skizz leaning against the wall, letting impulses head rest in his lap while he used impulses shoulder as a rest for his phone. it wasn’t hard for impulse to drift into deep sleep-he was at his most comfortable with skizz around.
in his dream, he’s in another world. or another, or another.
there are million and millions of worlds, each one different in some small or large way. in one world, the difference is as small as one word in a sentence. in another, the difference is worldshaking.
in one world, they are but numbers on a screen. in another, they are a story. in another they are in game after game after game, and they fight fight fight. there are a million worlds where he loses, there sre some where he wins, even a few where skizz does. in some world, he never meets the hermits. in others, he dies before he’s able. in some worlds, he’d the angel and skizz is the demon. in some worlds, he is desperate for love. in those worlds, he finds it in skizz. in every world, he finds something in skizz.
in some worlds, there is no magic, just simple human life. in some worlds his hair is not brown, he does not live in canada. in some worlds, they speak over text and phone call most of the time. in some worlds, skizz’ sister never gets his license, or skizz names his dog something shorter. in some worlds, grian and pix never escape their captors, or pearl gets the moon to love her.
in some worlds, they have their lives and impulse betrays, betrays, betrays. lies so much he even convinced himself. in some worlds, they have spyglasses. in some worlds there are soulmates, and skizz hovers at the edge of his consciousness, barely there. in some worlds, there is a clock in the corner, constantly, thud thud thud. in some worlds, skizz sacrifices himself. in some worlds, there are secrets or snails or time time time. in some worlds, there is never enough.
but in every world, skizz and impulse meet, and become friends. there is time in those worlds too, time enough to let friendship slip into love. the demon loved the angel like the night loves the day. in every world, impulse loves skizz. so why not this one?
a knock on the door rouses impulse from his dreams. he feels a warm hand leave his head, and softly whines at the loss of contact.
‘come on, you two!’ cleo says from outside the door. ‘five minutes to get up here or we’ll finish the last round without you!’ then there’s the sound of footsteps retreating.
the hand returns, cards through his shaggy hair.
‘c’mon, dop.’ says the voice that appeared a million times in his dreams.’time to wake up, homie.’
he sits up, lets consciousness return to him. surprisingly, he actually does feel more well rested. he lets skizz climb out of the tub and help him up, again looking the part of an angel. how can someone so human be so holy? he takes skizz’ hand.
they pick their things up, descend the stairs. by the time he’s upstairs, he’s forgotten his dream. but still something like discontent lingers in the back of his mind.
the first few questions are relatively tame, in his opinion. simple things like ‘put a finger down if you haven’t done any homework this week’ or ‘put a finger down if you like the harry potter movies better than the books’. easy. impulse only puts one finger down (he’s got a bad habit of procrastination). then, things start getting targeted.
‘put a finger down if you believed in ghosts as a child, stopped believing in them and thenrealized they were real because you saw a real one’
‘hey!! i told you that in CONFIDENCE!!’
‘put a finger down if you’re wearing skinny jeans!’
‘i mean, i’d refer to them as jeggings…’
‘put a finger down if you once ate a guys arm’
‘I JUST TOLD YOU GUYS THAT. THIS IS LITERALLY CHEATING. I’M GONNA EAT YOUR ARM LETS SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!’
then, they just turn into digs for information, not that that isn’t what all sleepover games really are in the first place.
‘put a finger down if you’ve ever drank cold hot chocolate during summer and compared it to an iced coffee!’
‘hey!!’
impulse is one of four people left alive, mumbo, gem, skizz and him, all of whom are now on their last finger after a targeted question from gem. then, the best possible question gem could ask, she asks.
‘put a finger down if you like someone.’
it’s a self callout, but he assumes that she assumes that everyone else will die too, and they can start the next round. little does she know, skizz and impulse both won’t put their fingers down, and then skizz can ask him a question and he’ll get the win, which he deserved after letter impulse lie on him for an hour. only, skizz puts his finger down.
impulse wins. skizz likes someone. skizz likes someone and he didn’t tell him?
whatever. that’s cool. why does impulse care? why does he feel so… bad?
STAGE 5: ACCEPTANCE
then it’s spin the bottle/seven minutes in heaven time. a lot of the hermits have opted out, like etho and tango, who both have raging crushes on those ‘empire’ kids grian loves to mess with. some of the hermits in relationships opted out too, which is totally fair. there’s nothing in the rules saying you have to kiss while you’re in the closet, but xisuma’s closet is pretty small and it’s kind of awkward to be stuck in there with someone when you aren’t okay with kissing them.
the round starts on gem again, who spins and lands on pearl to several wolf whistles from surrounding players. for seven minutes that they wait, hushed conversation breaking out among the hermits. there’s a word players can shout if they really need to get out, so it’s unwise to talk too loud in the chance that they talk over it. skizz and impulse have moved to different sides of the circle at gems encouragement, though he doesn’t really understand why. gem said she wanted to talk with skizz, and she had him swap with pearl. it was a happy coincidence for her that she ended up landing on pearl then, when those two had been clearly eyeing each other up.
impulse plays a couple silly games with skizz while they’re waiting, losing two games of rock paper scissors but beating him in chopsticks, before the girls are finally let out of the closet. both are red faced, with pearl sporting a very visible lipstick mark and… is that a bite mark on gems neck? rowdy teenagers much?? he can’t help thinking it’s kind of cute though. they clearly like each other a lot.
then it’s skizz’ turn, going after gem, and suddenly all those complicated feelings from before are returning. he doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand what he’s feeling. theres a sense of embarrassment in him at the thought of being in a closet (he doesn't like skizz, swears he doesn’t, but he's so pretty), but much worse than that is the bitter feeling that wells in him at the thought of skizz kissing someone else.
he needs it to land on him. they don’t have to kiss, but he wants to talk to skizz about the fact that he’s been hiding that he likes someone. they tell each other everything, or so he'd thought. but skizz had been hiding something. his best friend has been hiding something from him. he needed… he didn’t know what he needed. he needed to figure out what was going on with skizz.
he felt the bitterness within him build as he watched skizz’ hand come up, spin the bottle. he imagined what he’d do if he watched skizz tumble out of the closet marked up by another person. why did he care so much? he didn’t understand. but he was certain he could feel his heart pounding as the bottle came to land on him. thank the stars. he couldn’t stop himself from looking up and meeting skizz’ gaze. he looked… scared? gem was patting him on the back, giving him words of encouragement.
impulse couldn’t stop himself from standing up, offering his hand to skizz- their places were switched this time. he also couldn’t stop the jealous half-smirk, half-glare he let cross his face as he tugged his best friend into the closet. impulse kept his eyes trained on skizz as he heard the lock click behind him.
‘so. i think you might have something to share with me, babe?’
‘i- uh, what?’
impulse couldn’t help the wicked thrill that ran through him as he watched skizz flush. it was so nice, seeing him like this, flushed and embarrassed all because of impulse. maybe he did like skizz…
‘i saw you put your finger down, skizz. who d’you like? you can tell me, i won’t judge… much.’
he felt heat build in the pit of his stomach as skizz swallowed, a single bead of sweat dripping down his neck as skizz tugged his shirt away from his body.
‘we promised we’d tell each other everything, didn't we? don’t you trust me?’
he leaned even closer, close enough he could feel skizz’ breaths quicken against the skin of his neck, close enough he could see exactly how dilated skizz’ pupils were, contrasting against the bright blue of his eyes. and for the first time all night, all year, all his life, impulse let himself consider something he’s been trying his very hardest to ignore.
‘unless…’
he brought his hand, steady and calm, up to skizz’ face. let it trace the bones in his cheek, the line of his jaw. felt the soft skin around his eyes. finally, let his thumb ghost over his best friend's lips, felt his breath quicken under his touch.
‘you like… me?’
‘i-’
impulse pulled his hand away from skizz, watched the angel chase his warm touch. instead, he brought that hand down to his chest, felt the jackrabbiting of his heart.
‘oh, you do, don’t you?’
impulse shifted their positions, let his left arm pin skizz against the wall of the cramped closet, and brought his hand back up to gently grasp his friends jaw.
he let his voice soften, dropped his smug smirk and showed his vulnerability.
‘i think i’ve just realized something.’
‘...yeah?’
‘i think i’ve denied it for a long time.’
he pauses, draws in breath. thinks of ozone, thinks of inside jokes. thinks of a million different worlds.
‘skizz, I think i love you.’
‘you-!’
‘me.’
‘you- i love you too. you… don’t know how long i’ve wanted to say that.’
impulse stepped back, let himself admire his friend, the way the beams of light that filtered through the closet made the angel look like he was glowing. in every other universe, he fell in love with his best friend. it seems this universe wasn’t the exception.
‘can i kiss you?’
‘hah! please do.’
and impulse kissed him. everyone says kisses don’t actually feel like fireworks, but impulse is pretty sure they’re lying. skizz tastes like popcorn and pacific punch and perfection. and he loved it.
impulse knew how it would look when their seven minutes ran up and they tumbled out of the closet. he just didn’t care.