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Nico was waiting in front of the 7th cabin for his boyfriend so they could both go to breakfast. But after all of his siblings went out of the building and he still wasn’t there, Nico thought something was off. Will would never be late or miss any part of the camp schedule. He saw Kayla and went toward her.
“Hey” He grabbed her arm. “Do you know where Will is?”
“Oh, yeah” She answered quickly. “He asked me to tell you to go alone today; he won’t be at breakfast. He’s not feeling very well.”
“So maybe I should check on him?” He got worried.
“I don’t think so.” Her face wasn’t very convinced. “He could take care of himself. But do what you want to do.”
Nico knew that she wasn’t the biggest fan of his, but at least she could’ve been less sarcastic when it was about Will’s good. Anyway, he went inside the Apollo’s cabin to look for Solace. In the opposite of his own house, it was really bright inside and had more rooms, so more people could live here. He knew the route to Will’s room by heart, so he went upstairs and knocked on his and Austin’s room’s door.
“Hey, Will” He looked inside. “you there?”
Di Angelo climbed up on the bunk bed and saw him lying under the blanket. He was in his clothes, and his face was looking exhausted. He had his eyes closed, so he didn’t see him at first, but when Nico stroked his shoulder, he opened them.
“Oh, hi, sunshine.” He sat on the bed. “Sorry, I didn’t notice you came in.”
He tried to smile, but somehow his smile didn’t look happy at all. His mouth would be smiling, but his eyes were telling that deep down he was hurt.
“Don’t worry about that.” Nico said. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, just a casual headache.” He ruffled his dark hair. “Kayla didn’t tell you not to wait for me?”
“Oh, yes, she did, but I would be a horrible boyfriend if I didn’t check on you first.”
“Ah, yes, thank you then…” He gasped, avoiding eye contact. “But you don’t have to worry; you can go now.”
“Are you sure that everything is alright?”
“Yeah” He faked his smile again “And I guess you’re still going to insist on staying.”
“Definitely” Nico answered.
“Fine” Will started going off the bed. “But since you’re skipping breakfast, you have to eat something.”
He went downstairs to a small kitchen with a fridge, kettle, and some dishes. He started bustling around, grabbing some food and turning on the kettle. Nico noticed how his hands were shaking and how he didn’t even look at him once.
“You want some tea?” His voice was trembling.
“No” He demanded. “Will, are you s—”
“Well, that’s a pity, because I just can't wait to drink so—” A mug he was holding slipped out of his hand. “Damn, I liked that one. Anyway, we have to clean there, so let me just go grab a broom…” Will tried to head out from the room, but Nico stopped him by grabbing his wrist.
“Will, enough.” He made him look at his face. “I can clearly see something is wrong.”
“Oh, sweetheart, it’s absolutely—”
“Stop sweethearting around.” He interrupted him. “Will, love, tell me what happened, please.”
Solace sighed. He leaned against the corner and looked down. Nico went up to him and laid his hands on his face.
“Will?”
“It’s nothing you have to worry about.” He still was trying to avoid eye contact. “I can deal with that on my own.”
“Oh, I’m absolutely sure you can.” One of his hands slid off Will’s face and grabbed his hand. “But you don’t have to.”
Will finally managed to look into his eyes. He pursed his lips and tightened his hand. Nico knew he was close to crying, but he didn’t want to do that in front of him.
“Listen to me.” He started. “I know that you always want to be strong for others; you’re the counselor of your cabin, an older brother to all of them, you’re in the head of the infirmary, and many, many more. Everyone there is calling you ‘the always smiling one’ or ‘the ray of sunshine.’ And I’m not denying that, except the ‘always’ part. You’re also a human; you’re allowed to cry, be sad, be miserable, or have a bad day. And I think you sometimes forget about that.”
First, tears started showing up in his eyes. Nico wiped them off with his thumb. Will’s gaze was sad, and he was still holding back, so Nico slid his fingers into his hair and leaned his head on his shoulder.
“Shhh, it’s okay” He whispered. “Cry it out, sunshine.”
Will wrapped his arms around Nico’s waist and hugged him closely. Nico was stroking his back, and after a while he felt that his shirt started being wet because of his tears.
“Yeah, exactly like that… everything is fine.”
“Nico… I’m sorry” He sobbed.
“Oh, shut up,” He slapped his back. “I told you it’s okay; don’t you even dare apologize.”
Will pulled him even closer, like he was afraid that Nico would go away. He felt like it was his job to comfort him, not the other way around. He wasn’t used to receiving help instead of helping someone else. But he liked that feeling; he felt so loved and relieved that he also could rely on someone. Like sometimes he also can be weak, and there’ll be someone that is willing to help him.
Will found comfort in Nico’s arms.
“Thank you.” He whispered.
“Much better.” He pulled him away and looked at his face. “Do you want to talk about that?”
“Yes, I feel like it may be a good idea.” He agreed and wiped his face. “Gods, I must look horrible now.”
“What are you talking about?” He grabbed his wrist and kissed his cheek. “You always look beautiful, my sun-therapy globe.”
“You really had to use that nickname?” He snorted.
“At least you managed to smile.” Nico connected their hands and asked. “You want to go to your room?”
“Yeah, the rest is going to be there soon.” He looked at the table. “Oh, right, we came here to grab some food.”
“No, we came here because you tried to avoid a conversation.” Nico hesitated. “And I’m not hungry.”
“Okay, so I’m going to talk my problem over, and you’re going to eat breakfast.” He looked at him. “Deal?”
“Ugh, I hate you.” He sighed. “Fine.”
Will took some fruit and finished making tea, and during this, Nico swept up the broken mug. Will passed him his drink and an apple, and they went upstairs. When they climbed up on his bed and covered themselves with a blanket, Will started with downcast eyes.
“Okay, so when I first came to the camp, I was so lost. Everyone there could use swords and do some crazy magic, so for a ten-year-old boy it was amazing, but at the same time it felt scary. I couldn’t imagine myself fighting or controlling elements. But then…” He smiled slightly. “I met Michael. He was around five years older than me, and he was also a son of Apollo. He wasn’t as great an archer as some of our siblings, but he was an amazing healer. He was the one that taught me all the basics about first aid and using my healing abilities.”
“Wait, you’re talking about Michael Yew, right?” Nico interrupted. “The one that died during the battle of Manhattan?”
“Yeah…” He tightened his grip on the mug. “The one that…died.” He felt Nico’s hand on his arm, so he continued. “As you may know, before Michael, our concealer was Lee, who died a year before him. I remember how much Michael has changed since then. Lee was his close friend, so of course he missed him, but also the responsibility for us was slowly destroying him. His sense of duty started becoming an obsession; he was trying to help us with the easiest tasks, taking care of us all the time, and as a consequence, he stopped taking care of his own. I realized that the only way to help him was to cause as few problems as possible so he would have more time for himself. I stopped talking about my problems and instead focused on solving others' ones. And then…you already said what happened. I became the new counselor, so Chiron asked me to tell his family about that.” He had tears in his eyes. “I…was just twelve, and I already had to…”
He started crying again, so Nico hugged him and let him take his time. They both knew that the part of the demigods’ life was that it was just so unfair. Will was just a kid, and he already had to be responsible for a group of other people. Just because all the older ones were dead.
“I was so scared that his family would blame me for that.” Will’s voice was trembling. “Luckily, they were actually very supportive. Of course they were devastated, but they were aware that it would happen one day. They let me stay for a couple of hours, invited me to eat dinner with them, and treated me like their own kid. Since then, I’ve been visiting them from time to time. And yesterday…” He reached into his pocket and pulled out some envelopes. “I got this.”
Will passed it to Nico and let him open it. He realized it was a wedding invitation. On the bottom of it there was a small writing. ‘I’m sure Michael would love to see you there. You’re a part of the family.’
“Michael had a younger sister. She is just three years older than us, so every time I was visiting them, most of the time I spent with her. Of course I’m happy for her, as we are close to each other, but then I started thinking about some things.” He looked at his boyfriend. “If Michael wasn’t a demigod, would he be able to set up a family now just like his sister? Are we all as demigods destined not to have a normal life? We either die in a fight or have to run away every time some stupid titan-like creature decides to destroy the world. At this point it’s just meaningless. Why do we have to save the world if we can't even live our lives here?”
Nico looked down. It’s not like he didn’t think about that. Until recently, he didn’t even care if he died or not. He just considered it unfair that everyone was dying for the mortals that didn’t even know about them.
“Maybe…maybe you’re right.” He said. “It’s all meaningless and unfair. But a long time ago I realized it’s just easier to come to terms with that. We cannot change who we are and the fact that we are probably going to die much younger than most humans. And also,” He smiled at Will. “if so, we should enjoy our lives even more. There’s nothing more precious than dying without any regrets. When you know that something is just ending but there’s nothing you haven’t done yet.” He grabbed his hand and kissed it. “Percy once told me that in a demigod’s life every pre-battle kiss may be your last one. So yeah, we may die on a battlefield anytime, so let’s just live our lives while we still have them.”
“Yeah…you’re probably right.” He touched Nico’s cheek. “I think that I just have to get used to that mindset.”
“Of course,” He agreed. “it's not something you can just change in one day. Take your time.”
“Okay… And since you mentioned kissing…” His hand slit into Nico’s hair. “can we…can I…you?” His face blushed a little bit.
They’ve been dating for a while now, but they weren’t kissing often. Will knew that Nico was still not used to some kinds of physical contact, especially those romance-related ones. He, however, loved any form of it, like holding hands, hugs, or playing with each other's hair, but kisses were something he was actually indifferent to; he liked them, but he also could live without them if that meant Nico’s comfort. So every time he wanted to kiss him, he considered it right to ask first.
“Yes, we can, you dumbass.” He snored and pulled him, kissing his lips softly. “And…thank you for asking, as always.”
“Sure thing, sunshine.” Will leaned his forehead on Nico’s shoulder. “As much as I’d love to spend more time with you, I hardly got any sleep tonight, so I guess a quick nap won’t hurt.”
“Oh, yeah, you definitely look like someone who needs some sleep.”
“Wait, a while ago you said I look beautiful.” Will looked at him.
“It does not exclude.” He shrugged. “And also, if you want, I can stay with you until you fall asleep.”
“Since you propose,” he laid his head on his lap, “but if I fall asleep like that, you can’t stay only until then.”
“Or I could just throw you off and go away.” He sighed. “But fine, today I can spoil you a little.”
After a couple of minutes, Will asked suddenly.
“Nico?” He looked at him. “Would that be okay if I said that I love you?”
“Oh” He had no clue how to respond to that. “I…don’t know.”
“I just felt…like, in a relationship like that, I’m feeling the most comfortable I could even imagine. Shit, it’s even better than I ever thought I would feel in any relationship.” He looked into his eyes. “So, I think that’s what love means to me. And I can tell that I love you.”
“Will I—”
“You don’t have to say you love me back now.” He stopped him. “You don’t owe me that. It would mean so much more to me if you said it when you’ll be ready, and it won’t be forced, got it?”
“Yeah… I think I’m going to do it like that.” He smiled at him. “Gods, how do you still manage to be so patient with me?”
“Maybe that’s because it’s all worth it, sunshine.” He yawned. “I guess now I really need that nap.”
“Definitely” Nico slid his hand into his hair. “Sweet dreams, my sleeping beauty.”
***
Not so long after that, the son of Apollo was already sleeping, and Nico covered him with a blanket, still stroking his head. What does ‘love’ mean to him? He's never been in any relationship, so the only love experience he had was his family. And they were all dead.
“Will you be there?” Nico heard Kayla’s voice and then saw her coming into the room. “Oh, Nico, is Will there?”
“Yeah, but he’s sleeping right now, so please don’t disturb him; he had a rough night.”
“I know.” She stood on the bed’s ladder. “Actually, I came here to talk to you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you, Nico.” She leaned her chin on the mattress. “I wanted to apologize that I’ve been a little bit mean to you.”
“That’s okay, I—”
“No, let me explain.” Kayla looked at her sleeping brother. “You know, Will, he doesn't want anyone to be worried about him, so he also cries only if he knows nobody can hear him. But tonight, around 4 a.m., when I woke up to go to the bathroom, I heard him. And his cry broke me. I realized that I can’t do anything to help him because he doesn’t want anyone’s help. And today, when you came into our cabin, I followed you and overheard your conversation in the kitchen…”
“Have you ever heard about the word ‘privacy’?” He huffed.
“Yeah, I know I shouldn’t do that” She agreed “but…once again, Will tends to care more about others than himself, so as I knew about his night cry, I was scared that he would just try to be there for you and ignore his own feelings, and that would hurt him even more. And as I predicted, he indeed tried that.” She looked at Nico. “But your reaction… I feel like no one in this cabin, or even in the whole camp, would say that to him. And no one would actually make him act like that.”
They both looked at the face of the sleeping boy. They knew him better than anyone else; they knew what he’d gone through. No matter how strong and charismatic he was, he still had his weaknesses, and sometimes he also needed to be taken care of.
“Nico, since you two started dating, I feel like he started changing for the better.” She added. “At first I was afraid that you’re just going to be another person in his life that he’ll feel obligated to take care of. But now I can see it’s absolutely not like that at all. You really have to love him, right?”
“...ah.” Nico moved his fingers over his boyfriend’s cheek. “Yeah, you could say so.”
“Then I’m rooting for you both.” She smiled and laid her hand on Will’s arm. “Take good care of my brother.”