Chapter Text
“You’re going to be okay,” you tell him over and over again even as his blood continues to trickle down his arm. But you can’t stop saying it, won’t stop saying it, as your hands flit over John’s body. His right arm hangs limply at his side, his blood having turned Jade’s skirt red, and you think it’ll have to be amputated before the virus spreads everywhere else. “It’s not that bad.”
“Maybe if you are blind cause it’s preeeeetty bad.” He laughs a little, tries to bat your hands away with his free hand, but you're relentless. You run your fingers through his coarse hair, smooth them down his dirtied cheek, and trail them down the curve of his jaw. His skin is still clammy and cold under your touch, but his pulse steady and strong now. His fingers close around your wrist and he pulls your hand away from his neck. “It’s pretty bad, Dave.”
“It’s not that bad,” you say, “red is the new black.”
He tugs on your sweatshirt, red and dirtied with blood, sweat, and tears. “Then you must be all the rage.” He smiles, his dumb teeth peeking out just a tiny bit, and winks.
You roll your eyes. You’re not really in the mood for jokes. “Ha ha, so funny, you dipshit. How are you feeling?”
He shifts a little, tries to avoid jostling his right arm. “Better?” He says, but his eyebrows are furrowed and he bites his lips when he settles back down again. He looks up and you look up too. The sun is setting and you wonder if Rose and Jade are close to getting back yet. And apparently you aren’t the only one to be thinking that. “They should be back by now,” he mumbles and moves to stand, “I’m going to go look for them.”
You stop him with a hand to his shoulder; shove him back down onto his ass. “Yes, that’s an excellent idea because it’s not like the girls can’t take care of themselves and you’re not gravely hurt. I mean, just look at you! You’re in the best shape you’ve ever been in. Just look at those chiseled abs and those glorious biceps. Wow, they’re giving me the vapors, Egbert. Put those away before I’m suddenly deemed unmarriageable.”
He flexes the muscles in his left arm, smiles brightly at you and says, “It’s okay; I’ll marry you. We can have like… five gay butt babies and they will all be precious and beautiful.”
“With a house that faces the sunset.”
“More like the ocean.”
“I can’t swim.”
“Then don’t go into the ocean, dumb-butts.”
A pause. “What’s the point of having an ocean view if you don’t go to the ocean?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know.” He looks at you, face solemn and serious. “What’s the point of having a bunch of shitty broken swords lying around when you don’t use them? The world is a mystery, Dave.”
“Wow rude, loser,” you say as you gently cuff him on the head. “Can I get a divorce?”
He laughs. “Sure, if that is what you really want.” He then takes your hand, tugs you towards him, and presses his lips to yours. John pulls away with a smile, his glasses a little bit askew, and your fingers intertwined with his. “I would be really sad if that happened though.”
You look down, look back up at him then hold up your intertwined hands. “Oh well will you look at that, we’re holding hands.” You feign a gasp; let your mouth fall open to theatric proportions and John guffaws. “Guess it’s too late for a divorce now. We’re too entrenched in this bitch. This is a holy matrimony that’s gonna last through all the ages like radioactive shit or something.”
He snickers, playfully butts his head against yours. “Dork.”
You gently head butt him back. “Your dork.”
(You two are still holding hands when Rose and Jade show up ten minutes later.)