Chapter Text
It had been days since they left on the hunt for this thing, and they still weren't any closer than where they were to begin with.
“Geez Sammy, I thought you were good at this research stuff!”
“Not my fault the every culture on earth has a completely different story from the others! At least now we know silver, holy water, and salt don't work.” He shrugged, leaning into the door of the Impala.
“Yeah, non-responsive to salt and holy water. That's so freaking comforting, man. Really, just great.” Dean grumbled, gunning to down the highway.
After a few minutes in silence, Sam decided to turn on the radio. Renegade came blaring through the speakers.
“Did you change my tape?!” The elder growled accusingly.
Sam instinctively put his hands in the air, a show that he was innocent. “Dude, I swear. I didn't touch it.”
“Then why is it Styx? I had Metallica in the last time I drove. No one but us has access to the car, and I didn't change it. I know that, you know that. So that only leaves one explanation, Sammy.”
“I didn't do it. Honestly. I'll put in your Metallica, though.”
“Because tapes just magically change. Or who knows? Maybe Baby did it.” Dean stroked the car's dashboard lovingly. “Did you Baby? Did you change the tape?” He revved the engine twice. “That's a negative on her end, because she knows what daddy likes. Don't you girl?” He proceeded to stroke her again.
“Dean,” Sam started, sounding a bit frightened and put off, “You're sick.”
“No, I'm sick and tired of hunting something that we don't know how to kill.”
“You need to slow down.” Sam said warily, seeing the thick fog ahead.
“And you need to get laid. Now can we shut up about the obv-”
“DEAN! Look out!”
The Impala went swerving to the left side of the road, Dean cursing to himself for not upgrading the tires last time he worked on his car. They had barely missed hitting the woman in the road, though she shouldn't have been there. And Dean was quick to voice that opinion.
“Hey lady! Watch where you're walking! This is a highway, you know.” He said slamming his door and marching over towards her. “Fast cars that go vroom vroom and kill people on impact!”
“I'm sorry about him, he's just a bit upset. Rough week.” Sam tried for kindness.
“Very rough week, and I don't need idiots like you making it worse!” Dean barked at her.
He was busy still running off at the mouth to see how she had changed.
“Uhhh... Dean. Maybe we should head back to the car.”
“The car she almost totaled? That car? My Baby that she almost ran off the road?”
“You treasure you're car so much? I wonder, he feels the same way about you?” The woman spoke in a voice that was far from human.
“She.” He corrected.
“I wouldn't be so sure about that.” The strange woman muttered.
“Yes my Baby loves me dearly, don't you girl?” Dean cast a glance over his shoulder at his car. Wait a second. “WHERE THE HELL IS MY CAR?!?!”
The woman chuckled, then vanished into the night, leaving the boys stranded.
“BABY!” Dean screamed, falling to his knees.
“I'm right here, Dean.” Spoke a boy, no older than seventeen.
“What? Who are you?” Both Winchesters looked puzzled at the boy.
“And how did you get here?” Sam asked.
“What? You don't recognize me suddenly since I can talk?” The mystery boy fixed his hair. “46 years of you Winchester men and none of you bother to find out I'm not female. I should be offended. I should have quit! Should have broken down on the side of the road that very day you sold me to your daddy. Never would have went through all this mess.”
Dean's expression was priceless. His jaw was dropped, his eyes wide, and he kept making a sort of whining noise, like a dying animal.
“Speaking of which, you are not my daddy, so please do refrain from saying that in the future. I'll have you know, my parts are, or were before the first million times you've totaled me, half Camero, half Porche. You're totaled me, abused me, called me a woman, but worst of all, refuse to play any music I like. I LIKE STYX! I wanted to hear that tape! But no, Mr. Driver-chooses-the-tapes just can't let me be happy for once, can he?”
“You...... you actually changed the tape?”
“Yes! For Christ's sake yes! And I hate how you put words in my engine! I only revved once.”
“Well, then.... I'm sorry.” Dean tried. Here was his baby, his Baby, a 46 year old car, trapped in a 17 year old's body. A boy's body, none the less.
“So much for my theory about-” Sam started, but Dean elbowed him hard in the gut.
“Shut up!”
Baby rolled his eyes. “Don't pretend like I don't know what he's on about. It's okay Sam. Sometimes I don't wanna be in a room with him when he's with me either.” The boy smiled. He always had a particular fondness of the younger.
“Whoa whoa whoa. You smile and be nice to him, but I get yelled at? I take care of you.” Dean tried.
“And you also have sex on my backseat, if you even make it inside me, you eat and litter, you wreck me, you play the music too load and run my engine too hard, you snore and hit in your sleep, and if it weren't for you, I'd have probably gone to some nice, respectable business man who would treat me how I should be treated!” The Impala incarnate huffed and crossed his arms.
“And how's that?!”
“Like a luxury car Not like some old pick-up truck.” He purred.
“Should I let you two have a moment?” Sam questioned, already backing down the road.
“Wait a second... Where's everything we stored in you?”
“Ugh! All you car about is your damn hunting! You never listen to me! The other cars don't know why I put up with you. I'm starting to question it too.”
“Look, I'm sorry, Baby. And I'll do better in the future,” Dean laid a hand on the boy's arm gently, as reassurance. “But I really need to know where all that stuff is. That our whole-”
“Arsenal in my trunk, yes I realize. I've only heard you say it 15 billion times over the years. And..... I'm not really sure. I mean, I know you're bag is right there.” He pointed to a spot on the side of the road. “But as for everything else, I have no clue.”
Sam tapped Dean's shoulder. “What if it's still inside?!” He whisper-yelled.
“Dude! That's... I don't even know what that is.”
“It's not still in me! I'd feel it if it were.”
That was enough for Dean to go on. “Well then, looks like we're searching the road. Let's try to find a cheap motel while we're at it.”