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When Atsumu saw the arm slinging around Kiyoomi’s shoulders, he was left frozen.
For a normal person, such a sight shouldn’t be surprising, especially when one of them is Atsumu’s boyfriend and the other one, the owner of the arm, is his twin brother. Any unaware person will find that scene perfectly normal, but the catch is that this is Kiyoomi we are talking about: the eternal germophobe, Kiyoomi.
Sakusa Kiyoomi, a third-year student of Itachiyama High, is Atsumu’s boyfriend for six months now. They met when the two of them are still second-years, undergoing a training camp for volleyball. The first time Atsumu saw Kiyoomi, he has been interested in the man. And the very first information he got to know before even finding out Kiyoomi’s name was how germaphobic the latter is.
Kiyoomi is known for always wearing a mask, keeping his distance towards people and crowded places, and always having a bottle of disinfectant spray ready. It’s also a wonder how he can stand playing volleyball, given how many germs a ball for the sport might hold. For Atsumu though, that was one of the things that makes Kiyoomi special. Kiyoomi seems like he transforms into a whole new person while playing volleyball. That serious, frowning face of his never fails to make Atsumu’s heart skip a beat. From that moment on, Atsumu decided. He wants to be as important as volleyball is to Kiyoomi.
Wooing Kiyoomi is like upgrading your life difficulty into ‘Asian’ mode. But Atsumu likes challenges, and maybe hidden inside of his heart was a masochist. Even though Kiyoomi had never given him a good face, he still sought to capture the other person’s heart through persistence. Kiyoomi was as stubborn as Atsumu, if not more. Wearing down Kiyoomi’s walls was perhaps as frustrating as the Karasuno duo breaking Atsumu and Osamu’s feint set play. But as wise people say, hardwork pays off.
…
“Why are you here again, Atsumu?” Kiyoomi asked in annoyance as he looked at the blonde who has been pestering courting him for almost six months now.
At first Kiyoomi thought that Atsumu just wanted to mess up with him, maybe playing a prank or doing a dare. Either way, Kiyoomi had hoped Atsumu would stop as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the latter seemed serious, or at least that’s what Atsumu said. In truth, Kiyoomi didn’t understand why Atsumu would develop an interest in him when their first meeting wasn’t exactly pleasant. However, the past few months Atsumu has been annoying wooing him, Kiyoomi found himself slowly getting used to this bee buzzing around his daily life.
“Flowers for you, Omi!” Atsumu beamed quite happily as he presented a beautifully arranged bouquet of flowers.
Omi. That was one thing Kiyoomi hasn’t gotten used to yet. He had tried a number of times to make Atsumu stop calling him that nickname but to no avail. He could only grit his teeth every time he heard that nickname come out of Atsumu’s mouth.
Kiyoomi turned his attention to the bouquet of hydrangeas. They were beautiful indeed, but more importantly: “Are you sure these are clean enough, Atsumu?”
Atsumu let out a pout, “Of course, Omi! The flowers are organic and I made sure to have them disinfected before arranging them. Oh, by the way! I arranged them personally, though… I asked my mom for help.”
Kiyoomi suspiciously looked at the bouquet before he sighed in resignation, reluctantly accepting the bouquet. For Atsumu though, this was a qualitative leap, compared to before when Kiyoomi would disinfect his gifts first before accepting or just outrightly reject them.
“So, uhm… Omi, I know I’ve asked you this countless times already, but will you be my boyfriend?” Atsumu asked.
Kiyoomi looked at Atsumu’s uncharacteristically hesitant expression and tone, his frown loosening before he let out a breath. “Yes.”
The sound was muffled by the mask Kiyoomi was wearing, but to Atsumu, it was thunderous. His heart felt like it was about to escape from his ribcage as it beats louder and louder every passing second. Happiness came all of a sudden that Atsumu couldn’t help but pounce on Kiyoomi for an embrace.
Kiyoomi dodged.
That one move immediately sobered up Atsumu. He pouted, acting forlorn, looking at Kiyoomi as if he had been abandoned. Kiyoomi rolled his eyes, pulling out the disinfectant spray from his pocket and spraying Atsumu’s entire being with it. Only after that did Kiyoomi loosely hugged Atsumu. For five seconds.
It was enough to make Atsumu happy, smiling as he asked, “Then, Omi, would you like to come over to my house later? My mom has been looking forward to meeting you.”
Kiyoomi wanted to go back a few minutes ago and take back the yes he had given once he heared Atsumu say that. But he knew Atsumu wouldn’t allow takebacks, and Kiyoomi himself had been serious when he agreed to be Atsumu’s boyfriend. But meeting the family? Right after confirming the relationship? Had it not been for him not wanting to destroy the bouquet of hydrangeas, he would have slapped Atsumu’s head with it.
“Am I allowed to refuse?” Kiyoomi said in a very annoyed manner.
Atsumu let out a mischievous ‘hehe’ and answered no.
And so they went to Atsumu’s house. Kiyoomi met Atsumu’s mother and his identical twin brother, Osamu. If not for the different colors of their hair, Kiyoomi might have believed Atsumu produced a clone right there and then. Even so, after a few casual conversations, Kiyoomi noticed a difference in the twins’ aura. He can’t put into words what the actual difference is, but the two of them gave him a very different feeling.
“You’re welcome to come again, Kiyoomi-kun!” Mrs. Miya said as the Miya family accompanied Kiyoomi to their gate.
“You’re incredible for being able to stand Tsumu.” Osamu said as he patted Kiyoomi on the shoulder.
Kiyoomi didn’t dodge.
“Shut up, Samu!” Atsumu glared at his twin before attempting to pull Kiyoomi’s hand.
Kiyoomi, as he always did, dodged.
…
That was the first time Atsumu froze at the absurd difference of Kiyoomi’s reactions between his and his twin’s touch. It was more than just a blow to Atsumu’s pride. The sight of his hand pulling on air as Osamu’s hand stayed perfectly still at Kiyoomi’s shoulder was a stinging nightmare that had etched itself deep into Atsumu’s mind.
Even until now, six months after Atsumu and Kiyoomi got together, Atsumu is still unable to hold Kiyoomi’s hands or hug him without being subconsciously dodged first. Even until now, he had to disinfect himself from head to toe just to get ahold of his boyfriend, just so he could touch his boyfriend.
And yet…
All of that comes easily for Osamu.
Atsumu couldn’t understand why. Sometimes, he would spiral into overthinking as he deduced reasons after reasons as to why Kiyoomi’s subconscious hasn’t yet categorized Atsumu as ‘being clean enough’ to not trigger any rejections. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous of Osamu, but really, all he wanted was to be accepted by Kiyoomi’s mind as ‘safe enough to be touched by’.
“Omi, can we talk?” Atsumu asked once he was close enough to Kiyoomi. Kiyoomi gave him a baffled look before excusing themselves. Itachiyama and Inarizaki’s volleyball teams are holding a joint training camp, so there’s not only the two of them and Osamu at the scene.
Walking away from the crowd into the quiet corner of the hallways, Atsumu stopped as he looked at Kiyoomi. He slowly squatted to sit, softly holding a corner of Kiyoomi’s pants.
“Atsumu, what are you doing? Are you alright?” Kiyoomi asked, hesitating for two seconds before squatting with Atsumu.
Atsumu looked at the ground, his voice heavy: “Omi…”
The voice came out so hoarse it was heartbreaking. Kiyoomi felt as if his heart had been pinched. He responded softly, “I’m here. What’s wrong?”
“Am I so dirty in your mind?” Something came softly pattering against the ground. Kiyoomi looked down to see water droplets forming on the ground beneath Atsumu’s face.
“What are you talking about, Atsumu? I don’t think you’re dirty. Why are you crying?” Kiyoomi asked worriedly as he answered Atsumu’s question. Another hesitation formed before his worry overcame everything.
Kiyoomi cupped Atsumu’s face as he guided the crying setter to look at him.
Atsumu’s eyes widened as he felt Kiyoomi’s warm palms holding his cheeks. His tears came down faster than they ever did, “Omi…”
Kiyoomi looked at Atsumu’s astonished gaze, having vague conclusions about the reason the setter was crying and about the earlier question. Kiyoomi gently wiped Atsumu’s tears as he removed his facemask and dropped a gentle kiss on both of Atsumu’s eyes. Once he was done, he gave Atsumu a helpless smile full of doting.
“I’m sorry for taking so long to give you a response, Atsumu.” Kiyoomi started. “It’s true that at first I wasn’t comfortable enough with skinship. It must have been hard on you as my boyfriend. Thank you, still, for staying with me even though I reject your touch.”
The temperature of the palms in his cheeks was burning Atsumu, and through his uncontrollable tears, he could see the soft gaze Kiyoomi had while looking at him.
“For others, it was easier to accept their touch because my mind wouldn’t pay them any attention. It’s just the same as being accidentally touched by a cluster of flowers swaying on the roaside. I can disinfect myself later, and my mind would no longer remember that touch afterwards.” Kiyoomi explained.
“But for the things and the people I want to stay with, they had to be disinfected first. So that my mind can slowly let its guard down and, little by little, imprint the feeling that came with the touch.” Kiyoomi once again cleared away Atsumu’s tears, softly rubbing his thumb against the other’s cheeks. “I want my mind to slowly get used to your touch, to your temperature, to the warmth of your hands, to the comforting feeling your arms bring. This is the only way I can think of so that once my brain was deceived enough to think of you as ‘disinfected’, I can freely touch you like this, I can freely reciprocate your touch, and I can freely respond to the warmth of your feelings.”
“I’m sorry for making you wait, Atsumu. And thank you for not giving up on me.” Kiyoomi stated.
Atsumu looked at Kiyoomi as his initially aching heart became filled with sweetness. He enveloped Kiyoomi in a suffocating hug, burying his face on the man’s shoulder, crying himself out.
He was so so happy.
“How could I ever bear give up on you, Omi? Not a chance.” Atsumu answered with a hiccup as he shook his head. “I love you so much, Omi.”
As bad as the timing might be, Kiyoomi couldn’t help but chuckle, reciprocating Atsumu’s hugs like he said he would, and along with that, an answer: “I love you, too, Atsumu.”