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Jimin didn't want to get up out of bed. He couldn't find the strength to.
His eyes were probably as red and swollen as his face was since he had spent the whole night crying into his pillow.
He doesn't know how much more he could take. But he had to be strong. He told him, he…
“I’m okay.” I’m not.
“Are you sure?” No.
“Yes. I’m fine Tae. Just go already. He’s waiting for you…” Don’t leave me.
That was three days ago and the pain was still there and still raw. Embedded deep in his heart where he couldn't physically grasp it and rip it out.
Why didn't he just tell him! Why was he such a coward! Seokjin told him to do it but…but he just couldn't! He loved Tae…but Tae loved someone else.
Another pain seized him, making a whimper escape from his dry throat.
When did he last eat? When last did he shower?...
The day he left.
The day he left with Hoseok to their one week get-away spa date.
No wonder he was so weak.
He groaned in discomfort of staying in one place too long and blindly reached for his phone. Wondering how no one reached out to him. Jimin fought hard to fight down the thought of maybe they left him too as new fresh tears sprung to his eyes.
He grabbed his phone from underneath his tear stained pillow to find out that his battery had died. Great.
Moving out of the spot he stayed in for three days was painful. His whole body groaned and cracked after not moving out of one spot for so long.
Now sitting up, Jimin plugged his phone in and turned it on to see his phone bombarded with notifications and messages from Seokjin and Taehyung but he wasn't going to read those. He doesn't think he’s strong enough to handle reading about how happy he is or what great time he’s having with Hoseok. His boyfriend.
He must've found out about Tae and Hoseok then, since they've probably been posting their pictures together all over social media.
No. It won’t be.
Jimin didn't bother to read other text messages he sent. He opted to check his notifications instead and what he saw didn't make the pain in his chest any less. In fact, it probably made it worse.
Tae looked so happy and it’s not with him.
Jimin locked his phone and threw it down on his bed next to him as his heart felt heavy in his chest. Should’ve just left the phone off. His thoughts rang out into the empty room.
The apartment felt so empty without Tae here. This realization almost brought back the tears he fought hard to keep at bay. He refuses to cry anymore. He’s cried enough.
Jimin felt numb as he dragged his feet towards the bathroom to freshen up. He was starting to smell, probably because he hadn't showered in three days. But he didn't want a shower, he wanted a bath. He doesn't think he has the strength to stand up long enough to take a shower anyways.
He filled his bath tub with water, adding lavender scented body wash before gingerly stepping in.
This is was what he needed at the moment. Jimin thought as he leaned his head back to let the water try and soothe his aching body. He was so deep in thought that he failed to hear the rapid pounding on his apartment door.
“Jimin! Oh God Jimin! I’m too late!”
Jimin was yanked back to reality to see a very worried Jin carrying him naked out the bath to his bed to which Jin pulled back to see a very blank faced Jimin staring back at him.
“I was having a bath hyung. I wasn't drowning myself.”
Jin almost had a heart attack seeing that Jimin was indeed alive and released a sigh of relief.
Jin gave Jimin a once of before his eyebrows creased in worry.
“When last have you eaten Jimin? You look deathly thin and pale. Your eyes are swollen red too…Jimin…”
“Don’t hyung, just don’t.”
“Fine. I won’t talk about it. Go put on some clothes while I go make you something to eat.” Jin left him there presumably to go raid his kitchen to find something to cook for him.
I didn't even finish my bath…
That was how it was from then on. Jin spent the rest of the week at the apartment taking care of him or as he put it ‘nursing him back to health.’ He cooked, he cleaned, tried to even give him a shower to which he shoved Jin out the bathroom door and closed it. He even worked from his laptop at Jimin’s apartment to make sure he was okay and he thanked him every day for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laughing broke the silence at the table that Saturday evening and only then Jimin realized that today was the day Tae was coming back along with his boyfriend. He felt his heart plummet to his stomach as he lost his appetite and got up to run to his room to which Jin followed him.
“You okay?”
Jimin found it hard to answer but Jin knew right away.
“It’ll be okay.” How are you so sure?
“It’ll be okay, Jimin. You’ll be okay.” I hope.
Jimin came out of his room with Jin close behind to see something he wished he hadn't seen. Tae and his…his boyfriend were there on the couch giggling, and cuddling each other, whispering gently to each other, staring into each other’s eyes…and then…they were kissing.
He should’ve seen it coming. They were dating after all. He was bound to see it at some point. But did they have to do it right on the couch? It didn't matter, it felt like a stab to the heart and he couldn't bear to see it any longer.
Jimin walked out of his apartment after he witnessed what had happened inside, not caring if Jin followed him. He couldn't stay there any longer. Grey clouds dotted the sky overhead but no sign of rain was in sight, the icy cold wind blowing gently against his skin sending shivers down his spine. Good to know that even the weather mirrors my mood.
He walked and walked until he saw a park and headed there but his feet didn't stop, it just carried him until he came upon a lake.
No one said anything, with the cold wind gently blowing them as they looked out onto the still blue lake, Jin coming to stand right next to him.
“How long? How long will I be like this? It hurts hyung.”
“I know Jimin, I know.”
Jin placed his hand behind Jimin’s head and drew him into a tight hug. Tears brimming his eyes.
“It takes time but you’ll be okay Jimin, you’ll be okay.”
The Tears pooled over as Jimin clung to his hyung, crying into his shirt, sobs rocking his body.
He’ll be okay.
No matter how long it’ll take…to get over him.
He’ll be okay.