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It’s always when Buck begins to forget the thick detergent smell of hospitals, their harsh white lighting and the constant hum of beeping that he finds himself in one again.
This time: his wrist—a minor fracture which could have been completely avoided if not for Eddie.
It happened when the 118 were on a call at a fancy apartment complex in downtown LA. Up on the 30th floor stood a very beautiful penthouse tragically engulfed in fire. The sprinklers did most of the heavy lifting so in just a little over an hour of routine procedure the team was climbing down the insane number of stairs – 30 whole flights.
Eddie was by his side, the rest of the team only a few steps ahead, slowly making their way out, chattering amongst themselves.
“Wait Buck,” Eddie abruptly stops.
Of course, Buck listens, turning to face Eddie.
“You have,” he frowns, “soot covering your birthmark.” They took off their masks a few floors up since the smoke had cleared up and in the process, Buck must’ve accidentally gotten some of the soot from his gloves on his face. It’s really nothing noteworthy. Having soot on your face is given in being a firefighter. For whatever reason, Eddie then decides to pull off his glove with his teeth, weirdly attractive, lick his thumb and wipe the soot from just above Buck’s brow, painfully gently.
Buck just stares back at him.
“There.” Eddie smiles, wide and toothy, “better.” And then he pats Buck on the shoulder and keeps going down the stairs like it was nothing.
Unfortunately, Buck practically bluescreens. There’s been something about Eddie recently. He’s been insanely touchy, not that Buck’s complaining! Straight men should be more comfortable with showing physical affection, so he is happy that Eddie feels comfortable enough with Buck to do that! It’s great. It’s great when Eddie decides to rest his shoulder on Buck’s, it’s great when Eddie seems to want to hug every time they say goodbye now, it’s especially great when Eddie puts his hand on Buck’s thigh and doesn’t move it.
Everything is fine, and Buck is totally not in love with Eddie. At all. Why would anyone ever think that? He just wants to always be close to Eddie, and it’s nice that the feeling is reciprocated. He’s always felt strongly about Eddie! Sure he sometimes wonders if there could be something more between them. Tommy and Maddie clearly think so. It’s just Buck doesn’t let himself think in that way because it would be a waste of time. He needs to focus on finding a relationship, not hopelessly pining over his straight best friend.
Although, the thought of getting into another relationship makes Buck’s stomach churn a little. Just doing the whole process of getting to actually know someone? Them having to learn all his flaws and not run away or think he’s too much. It’s exhausting.
If only Eddie loved him back.
Yeah, he’s in denial.
He’s in love with Eddie.
Buck’s freaking out just a little. It’s not even new information it’s been in the back of his head for years now but to really accept it. He’s in love with Eddie. The staircase feels all too claustrophobic. His heart is hammering out of his chest fighting to be freed from his ribcage. God, he needs to get out of here.
He misses the step in front of him.
He falls hard and fast, saving his fall with his right hand like an idiot.
A cast, a couple of bruises and a whole five weeks off of work. Not terrible but wildly embarrassing.
The good thing? Buck has five weeks to get over Eddie before he has to go to work and face him. Maybe this is exactly what he needed?
Buck quickly learns that a wrist injury is incredibly inconvenient. His normal coping mechanism when faced with too many feelings is baking. So, once he’s settled in at home from the hospital and given very stern instructions by Maddie that he should limit his mobility. Buck finds himself hauling out the baking ingredients.
Except, baking with one hand takes almost double the amount of time and a lot of spilling, especially when the hand you’re using is your non-dominant one.
With at least a quarter cup of flour on himself and some cocoa powder somehow in his hair Buck decides he can take a quick shower before the brownies are done.
Except even showering seems to be annoying. He remembers back when he broke his arm as a kid, Maddie would have him hunched over the sink so she could help him wash his hair. He secretly wishes she could help him right now. He does a poor job of shampooing and conditioning and then gives up on his very over-the-top 6-step curl routine, opting to just let it air-dry.
Buck’s haircare routine is very sacred to him. After years of experimenting, he's finally found the perfect styling method. Although it’s time-consuming and costly, he’s reminded of why he invests so much effort whenever he looks in the mirror and sees a mountain of frizz on top of his head.
Simply, his hair looks like shit. Great. Buck throws on a beanie he finds in the back of his closet. If he can’t see it, it can’t bother him.
-
“Why are you wearing that stupid hat?” Eddie questions from the couch, taking a bite of the brownie Buck just baked. It’s one of the very first things he asks after abruptly showing up. Does he not get that Buck is trying to get over him?
“Rude.” Buck frowns. “Can I not wear a hat?”
“Well, you’re in the house.” He points out correctly. “And in our 8 years of friendship, I have never seen you wear a beanie.”
He’s not wrong. “I just felt like having a change.”
“Did you get bored and try to give yourself a haircut?” He smirks, putting the brownie down on the coffee table and moving closer to Buck.
Buck shifts uncomfortably under Eddie’s gaze. “No.”
“Are you hiding a little rat under there that helps you bake?”
He’s even closer, basically in Buck’s face. “No.”
Eddie eyes him suspiciously and then, faster than Buck can react, he pulls the beanie off his head. “Eddie!” he weakly protests, rushing to flatten down his hair.
“Your curls.” Eddie pouts fucking pouts, “What happened?”
Buck sighs defeatedly, “I can’t really do my curl routine with one hand.”
“There’s a routine?”
Buck scoffs, oh, how oblivious. “Yes, there is. It’s a whole process! I didn’t have proper curls until I started doing it.”
“Is that why your locker is always full of all those products?”
Buck nods, “my hair has become so high maintenance ever since I started the routine.”
Eddie eyes him down. “How many steps?”
“…Like six”, he embarrassingly admits.
“Six!”
“There’s a lot of scrunching involved.”
“Can anyone do it?”
“I mean, it took me some time to get the hang of it, but it’s not that difficult. I just can’t really get the product to be even with my left hand.”
“I can help.”
“What?”
“I can help,” Eddie repeats. “I don’t know much about hair, but if you talk me through it, I think I can do it.”
“Eddie you don’t have to—it’s like super long and boring and—”
“I want to.” He gets up from the couch and stretches dramatically. “C’mon you’ll feel better if your hair doesn’t look like a birds nest.”
“Did you just come over to bully me?” Buck says, but Eddie is already too far down the hallway, presumably already looking for Buck’s hair products to hear him.
-
They situate themselves in the bedroom. Buck’s array of haircare products neatly laid out on the bed. Eddie sits at the end of the bed and Buck sits on the ground cross-legged in between Eddie’s legs. He’s going to fucking die.
“Okay, walk me through this. What’s first?” Eddie claps his hands together, eyeing the products.
“Since my hair has dried up, you need to spray it down with water.”
Eddie nods, grabbing the white spray bottle and generously dousing Buck’s hair in it. “Easy.”
“We’re just getting started. Now grab the leave-in-conditioner, it’s in a blue jar.”
“Blue jar.” Eddie parrots. “Ooo, coconut.”
“Now just put some of it in your hands and run it through my hair.”
Buck jumps at Eddie’s hands in his hair. He’s so gentle, taking his time in running it through, even tugging lightly at Buck’s scalp. It would almost be relaxing if Buck wasn’t totally and completely freaking out.
“Mmphm”, he closes his eyes, trying to calm his breathing down. “Okay next you need the curl crème which you’re going to do the same thing with. It’s the orange bottle.”
“Got it.” Eddie repeats the process with ease. “This just feels the same as the other one.”
“This one’s for definition, and the leave-in conditioner was for moisturising.” He replies like it’s obvious.
“Well, they all smell very nice.” He keeps massaging the crème in which is not exactly the right method but it feels so so good, who is Buck to stop him? He practically melts to the touch, his entire body tingling from just this. Get it together Buckley. “What are your plans for the next six weeks then?” Eddie questions, his hands now in the nape of Buck’s neck.
“I’m going to die of fomo.”
“So dramatic.” Buck can just sense that Eddie is rolling his eyes. “I’ll keep you updated on what we’re doing, don’t worry.”
“And we’ll facetime?” Buck regrets the words coming out of his mouth because he told himself he would spend these weeks getting over Eddie and right now this is all feeling very counterproductive.
“Of course.” He smiles and continues putting the crème in. “This is sort of therapeutic.” His hands go deeper into Buck’s scalp, almost like he’s enjoying playing with Buck’s hair.
Buck shakes his head lightly, trying to pull himself together. There shouldn’t really be anything inherently sexual about this and Buck feels wrong for how much he’s enjoying it. He looks down to see the visible evidence of it, the blood rushing south clearly. “Then the microfiber cloth.” He straightens himself up with a shaky breath, shifting so it looks less obvious, stretching his legs out. “You have to scrunch the curls in it.” He makes a weak attempt at showing Eddie with his left hand. He needs to speed this process up or he’s going to lose his mind.
Eddie is annoyingly very good at the hardest part of the routine. He’s focuses on each of the curls, somehow figuring out Buck’s curl pattern decently well and slowly doing the perfect scrunching motion. This part is less sexual and touchy but god Eddie’s competence does something to him.
“Relax, you’re so tense,” Eddie notes, letting his hands travel down from Buck’s scalp to his neck and shoulders, slowly massaging the skin.
Buck only stiffens to the touch. His skin feels like it’s on fire. “S-sorry.”
Eddie gives a weak laugh. “There’s like a whole knot here.” He presses a little harder and oh- it feels good. Buck has been tense. Turns out realising you’re in love with your straight best friend is a very stress-inducing situation. His fingers travel to Buck’s ears, pulling lightly and then rubbing all down his neck.
Shit that feels good.
Buck is fully hard now, it’s almost painful. He would love to blame it on the fact he hasn’t really been touched by anyone in months but this somehow feels like the hottest thing anyone has ever done to him.
He hums lightly in response to Eddie’s touch, trying to stay quiet as he bites his lip. He wonders what it would feel like to have Eddie’s hands gripped onto his waist so hard they leave marks. Fuck bad thought. He pivots, groaning quietly. “The next step is the um curl hold spray. It’s super easy, just spray it all over.”
Eddie listens, doing as said. “And then I’m guessing it’s the oil?”
“Yeah. Just pour some into your hands and run it through the hair.”
Eddie does everything normally, following the instructions correctly like he has been this whole time, but something just hits Buck. A wave of admiration. It’s just – he’s been so gentle and caring this whole time because he wants to. Maddie would take care of him as a kid when he got hurt but she had some obligation as his sister but Eddie – Eddie has no obligation. He offered, and he sat here for the last 20 minutes following Buck’s intricate curl routine without complaint. Buck hasn’t really felt this level of deep, grounding care from anyone.
This isn’t even the first time Eddie has shown this. He was the one to drag Buck out of bed when he was down after his leg accident, he was the one to put ointment on his boils. How could Buck ever get over him? He’s getting emotional whiplash from this, all while he’s trying to calm himself down. As Eddie delicately brushes his hand through the curls, Buck can’t help but feel his eyes start to sting.
“Buck?” Eddie’s hand abruptly stops which – rude that felt really nice. “What’s wrong?” His words are thick with concern. He moves off the bed, sliding himself against the bed next to Buck. “Did something happen?”
Shit did Eddie tell this whole thing weirdly turns him on? “Fuck I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise, just tell me what’s wrong.” He looks into Buck’s eyes, clearly trying to read him. “Why are you crying?”
Right. Eddie is concerned because Buck is teared up. Not because he’s about one hair tug away from coming in his pants.
Buck sighs, “this is so embarrassing.”
“Buck.”
“I just don’t think anyone has cared about me as much as you do.”
“Oh.” Eddie’s face contorts, clearly not expecting that response. “Of course I care about you.”
“You- you just didn’t need to do that or help me—”
Eddie sheepishly rubs his neck. “I mean, I do feel a little guilty.”
“What, why?”
“I’m kind of the reason you fell.” He deadpans like it’s obvious and—what? How does he know that? He shouldn’t know that.
If he knows that he must know that Buck’s in love with him. “What?” he repeats because he feels like he’s fully losing his mind, he’s still half hard, his tears are drying up and Eddie just dropped the biggest bomb ever.
“I like seeing you get flustered.” He admits vaguely.
“You’ve been doing that on purpose?” Oh, Buck is going to be sick. Has this all been some joke to Eddie.
“Yes but that sounds really bad!”
He gulps. “It does.”
“I’ve been flirting with you because—” He stops.
Buck motions to continue, “I’m going to need you to finish that sentence.”
His voice is small, “because I’ve been trying to find out if you like me back. So I’ve been overly touchy to see how you react and then eventually I wanted to ask you out—"
“If I like you back?” Buck freezes. Eddie likes him? “I didn’t know you were an option Eddie!” How long has he been an option?
“I’ve been trying to tell you I am.”
His brain feels scrambled. “You could have told me with words.”
“I know, it was just so fun to see you all confused and flustered you’d do this thing where you’d bunch your eyebrows together all serious—” he coughs, “but I took it too far, you got hurt and I’m sorry.”
“I don’t care about that.” Eddie could have run him over with a 14-wheeler and he wouldn’t care right now. “You’ve liked me this whole time?” He asks, almost starstruck.
Eddie shakes his head lightly, a motion Buck is familiar with, his usual tic when a feeling is too overwhelming to contain, “I think I love you.”
“I love you,” Buck says it easier than he ever has, like a weight has been fully lifted off his chest. He doesn’t even need to think twice. “I think I always made it obvious.”
“Yeah?” He smirks, “I can see that now.” He shifts his gaze to Buck’s pants.
Buck shoves him playfully. “Fuck off, you knew what you were doing with that massage.”
“You should see what else I can do.” And well. Buck has never seen this side of Eddie. He never thought he would be allowed to.
Eddie shifts over, pulling his leg over where Buck is sitting so he’s straddling him. “I don’t wanna put pressure on your wrist.”
Buck shakes his head, “I’ll be careful.” He lets his good hand find the nape of Eddie’s neck as Eddie tips his chin up to get a better angle and finally presses their lips together. Buck’s head is completely and utterly spinning through the whole process as their mouths move together, slow at first, testing the waters. Then, Eddie slips his tongue in, licking into Buck’s mouth and tracing along his teeth. His mouth still tastes of the chocolate brownie from earlier and Buck just wants to devour him whole.
Buck’s good hand travels down to Eddie’s waist as he grips the fabric of his shirt. At that, Eddie drags him up more into a hot, open-mouthed kiss.
Eddie breaks away first, catching his breath, “gotta be careful not to mess up your hair.” He cards his hands through softly, sending vibrations all down Buck’s spine. “I worked hard on those curls.”