Work Text:
Ryusui's floppy ears are flat by the sides of his head. His fluffy tail, usually up with confidence, is now low and between his legs. Very clearly, the small puppy is scared.
Now, even for his young age, Ryusui is quite independent, so seeing him like this is very much a rarity. But he is still a puppy, and puppies, they have one massive weakness…
Thunderstorms.
The heavy, heavy rain will not stop pounding at the windows, making them shake with continuous terrifying force. Worse however, is how insanely loud every thunder is. It echoes, it makes him jump in place. His sensitive ears can't handle it, he barely gets a few minutes to calm down before another one strikes, every time.
But he doesn't go to his own bedroom for comfort. No, his bed and toys wouldn't provide real comfort. So instead, he stands by the hall, waiting for the only person he wants to see.
His older brother, of course.
But Sai is kept in the classroom at this time. Until he comes back, the puppy will simply wait and do his best to cover his ears with his hands, trying to muffle the noise.
It doesn't really work.
Minutes pass by, each one colder thanks to the bad weather. Despite how early it still is, a sky this cloudy allows no sun rays through. The halls are dark and depressing to be in.
More flashes of light, along with the accompanying loud roar.
Ryusui sniffles. His hands pressing his ears with as much force as he can manage have made his head hurt. It's fine. He'll feel better once he is with his brother.
But Sai is always kept in the classroom at this hour. That's why the puppy has to wait, until his feline sibling is allowed out and can return to his space.
Eventually, finally, he sees the cat walking this way. Sai doesn't seem to mind the incredibly loud sounds of rain and thunder. Ears and tail are in neutral state, he walks with his head down while holding a notebook in his arms.
And Ryusui immediately rushes to him, his own tail now wagging in excitement just to be nearby.
“Sai!” He tries to hold onto him.
And is rejected right away.
Sai doesn't even turn his gaze towards him, simply pushing him away as soon as the puppy attempts contact.
Although Ryusui is in tears, Sai doesn't care. No one cares. But even so, Ryusui is so attached to him, he refuses to stop trying. So he will stubbornly follow him into his bedroom, squeezing in just before Sai can close the door.
“Get out.” Sai says. His tail twitches behind him, a clear sign of annoyance.
Ryusui quickly shakes his head, then wraps his arms around Sai, clinging. “I don't like the storm.” He murmurs, probably too quietly to be heard with a deafening storm outside, but it should be obvious he is terrified regardless. He doesn’t understand how Sai can even be this calm.
Sai tries to push him away a second time, but the small puppy is holding onto him with all his strength. His older brother concludes he has two options: he can either waste his time with this for way too long, or simply give up.
The cat sighs, defeated. “Fine. But… stop that. And I absolutely won't play with you, so don't even ask.”
Reassured that he won't be kicked out, Ryusui now lets go. Although… hugging would help. A particularly loud thunder roars outside, making Ryusui flinch and whimper.
Sai doesn’t pay him any attention. Instead, he goes sit on his bed, grabbing a portable game console from under his pillow.
As soon as he is holding it, he smiles. His eyes sparkle with joy. His expression softens.
He never smiles when looking at me, Ryusui thinks. Never.
Wiping off the tears from his face, Ryusui follows, climbing onto the bed as well. Sai said he won't play with him, but he didn't say he can't watch. Ryusui isn't in the mood to play anyway. He just wants to be together.
He grabs a pillow to hold, since his brother refuses to hug him.
It's that game Sai plays often, where you play as captain in his ship. It's so cool! It's just how Ryusui wants to be someday.
More importantly right now, looking out the window, he realizes the rain has gotten so incredibly dense that you actually can't see a single thing, not the sky, not the trees in their garden, nothing. Another thunder must be coming soon… it should be fine to sit closer. Slowly, he closes their distance, until they are almost touching.
Sai isn't reacting. Maybe he is too focused to notice.
Ryusui tries leaning onto him, just to rest his head.
But immediately, Sai jumps in place, turning to glare at him with as much distaste as before.
Ryusui glares back, annoyed despite his fear, that his brother is reacting so intensely to a simple touch. “What? I'm not doing anything.”
Sai’s pointy ears twitch. Wordlessly, he returns to his videogame. At least he didn't hiss at him this time.
When another lighting hits the ground, it feels like their home is vibrating, although he isn't sure if that's just an illusion. Against Ryusui's will, a whimper escapes his mouth. Tears are coming out again, no matter how much he presses his face against the pillow.
His whole body is curling up around the pillow really, as if he could somehow enter it to get away from the overwhelming noise.
At least… at least he isn't alone. Despite being ignored and rejected, knowing Sai is in the room still helps.
He sniffles.
He must have been too distracted by his own pain and despair to notice any movement, but suddenly, he feels a blanket being wrapped around his shoulders. The puppy lifts his head, and sees his big brother right in front of him, avoiding eye contact while adjusting the blanket.
“Sai…”
Sai doesn't answer. He climbs back on the bed, picking up his console.
“Sai, why are you so calm?” Ryusui knows that as a dog, he is particularly sensitive to sound. But he has heard the hearing of cats surpasses his own.
Sai's ears twitch. “I hate it too.” He focuses on the little screen, holding it close to his face. “I've simply gotten used to it.”
Ryusui blinks. Sai is older. Before Ryusui was born, he was the only unwanted one in this household. Ryusui tries to imagine what that would be like, not having a single person to go to when he's afraid. If that was the case, would he have no choice but to get used to it, too?
But, that's too sad…
“Do you… want to use the blanket too?” He lifts part of it, inviting his brother to share the fluffy comfort.
“No.”
“It helps…”
No reply.
Ryusui doesn't understand. They are in the same boat, the rejected children no one in this family acknowledges. Even in his young age, he understands that. He knows no one wants the two of them to exist. Then why doesn't Sai like him, either? Ryusui is nice to him, always invites him to play.
Shouldn't they… be closer?
More thunder echoes outside. Ryusui notices Sai’s tail curling up, fur on end.
Even if he says he's used to it, Sai can't help the little reactions…
“It would make me happy.”
Sai pauses to simply look at him. He returns to his game after a few seconds.
Guess that didn't work.
Ryusui wants to close his eyes, fall asleep bundled up with this blanket and rest after all this time he's spent afraid, but it's impossible.
“I'm sorry, Ryusui.” His brother says quietly, it's hard to hear him, the game is still on. “I'm not a good brother, and I don't want to be. I don't want to be your brother at all.”
Ryusui opens his mouth intending to speak, but not a word comes out. It's rare that he truly doesn't know what to say. After all, he is not surprised. It just hurts a little to hear it said out loud. Sai keeps playing his game, not lingering on the topic. Even saying those few words must have been a lot for him.
The young dog leans onto the glass. He hates the way it’s shaking from the rain’s force. He figures out what he wants to say, after a few minutes. “That’s fine. I will still try.”
Sai sighs.
Ryusui hates that.
But as already announced, he will continue to try and do his best, all on his own. It doesn’t matter that Sai already rejected his offer to cuddle, it doesn’t matter that he says he is used to how awful the thunderstorm makes you feel, Ryusui can see the subtle signs that tell him Sai hates this as much as he does.
He takes off the blanket, grabs it, and throws it on his brother.
“Ryusui!” Sai protests, an angry hiss coming out with his words.
Of course, Ryusui will ignore that. He crawls under the blanket before Sai can get rid of it. And, he hugs his big brother. Wraps his short arms around him as best as they can manage.
“Ryusui! Get off me!” The cat continues to shout, struggling to push him away when he can’t see and there’s fabric everywhere. “I… I-I’ll scratch you!” He threatens, cats have impressively sharp nails.
“You won't.” He has never done something like that, he wouldn't.
Sai groans. He knows that he wouldn't actually do that, too.
Ryusui hugs him tighter, now that he has the chance, while Sai tries to figure out how to get away from him without being too violent. Another loud thunder shakes the ground, echoes inside his head.
Still, this close, he can tell Sai flinched. Can tell his heart is beating too fast.
Sai is quiet afterwards. He stops struggling and trying to escape.
Perhaps he is comforted by the closeness.
Although Ryusui came here for his own sake, it would make him quite happy if he is helping his brother.
Believing this, Ryusui cuddles against him. It no longer feels like he is restraining Sai, more like he is simply giving him a hug. It doesn't matter that Sai doesn't hug back.
Ryusui's tail wags slightly. They are fine like this, right?
Wrong.
After what must have been a few minutes, Sai pushes him away with enough force to make Ryusui let go.
“Get away from me!” The cat shouts. The blanket falls to the floor. Sai's fur on his ears and tail is completely on end again. And Ryusui doesn't understand.
Just what is so wrong with him? Why is it that, regardless of how he tries, Sai will continue to see him as nothing but a pest?
Worse than that, Sai stops staring at him, and instead begins to cry. He covers his face with both hands, but tears still manage to trickle down his chin.
Ryusui can only watch, confused. “Sai…” He tries reaching out to him.
But Sai cuts him off with a “Get out! Get out of here!”
Confusion is overwhelming the puppy. He didn't do anything wrong just now… yet Sai is crying like he did. Ryusui gets off the bed, steps back… picks up the blanket from the floor, and places it on the mattress. Maybe Sai will want to use it if he's alone, maybe it will comfort him better than Ryusui can. Sai is clearly trying to muffle his cries, most likely ashamed of himself.
While his brother is still wiping, the puppy turns around, walking out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
He can hear him crying even as it rains, even with the closed door between them. Whatever it is he did wrong… it was really bad. Ryusui doesn't realize his own cheeks are covered with fresh tears again.
From now on, no matter how terrifying the storm, Ryusui will learn to not be scared anymore. He can't do this again, he can't make Sai cry like that. Just like Sai, he will, definitely, simply get used to it.
-
Ryusui is no longer a puppy.
In fact, he's grown to be quite the tall, capable and muscular man. Handsome too, of course.
Although his floppy ears and bushy tail signature of the Golden Retriever breed will always give him a certain degree of cuteness, Ryusui does not mind that at all.
What matters most is how much knowledge and skill he now possesses, enough that, for the last several years, he's been on a journey to quite literally save all of humanity. A bit of an overwhelmed quest, but one he's been handling just fine.
Yes, Ryusui has truly become brave. Forget some stupid storm, he didn't show fear even when confronted with the prospect of imminent death!
Thinking about it, maybe that's not such a positive thing.
Better not to think about it, then!
Recently, his older brother has joined him. It took much convincing, but Sai did, at the last moment, give in and aboard their ship. Ryusui was overjoyed, tail wagging at such speed that it looked like it could break at any second, embarrassing the cat.
Unfortunately, traveling together doesn't mean that they have become closer. Most of their time together is spent in silence.
Ryusui has been advised to be patient.
He is being patient.
As patient as he can manage.
Today is rainy.
Not extremely rainy, but he likes to play it safe and avoid doing anything that could possibly bring harm to his crew. So today, there's no sailing. It can be seen as simple rest, too. Even with his passion for the seas, a captain can tire just like anyone else.
Rainy days tend to make him think of one specific, distant rainy day. The memory of his brother bursting into tears for reasons that Ryusui couldn't understand. He has replayed the moment in his head time and time again. While he is aware Sai didn't like him, he is also pretty sure he didn't hate him to the point where simple physical contact would send him into inconsolable sobbing.
The most likely conclusions he has reached are… that Sai was crying out of guilt, upset at himself because he couldn't be nice to the only person being nice to him. Or crying because, no matter how desperately he wanted to keep a wall between them, to be isolated for his own sake, Ryusui wouldn't let him. Perhaps what Ryusui thought of as a reaching hand, Sai saw as another bar in his prison.
But this is a question he will never receive an answer for, and will just wander around in his head for as long as he lives.
Things will go better now that they are adults. That he is sure of. Even if it's a slow process, in this world without pressure from the Nanami family, Sai will soften towards him.
He is sure of it, yes, and yet he is surprised when he sees Sai walking into the now modern looking cockpit, where Ryusui was sitting all on his own until seconds ago.
The cat stands by the door, saying nothing while his tail flickers from side to side. He stares at the floor.
Ryusui's own tail is wagging, happy that his brother is the one seeking him out for once. After all, this is the one obvious spot to find him, and no one else.
“You need something, Sai?” He asks, hoping he doesn't need a thing.
Sai glances at him for a second. “No.” His ears flatten. He is embarrassed.
Ryusui smiles. He snaps his fingers. “So you came to hang out with me!” He stands up, wrapping an arm around his brother's shoulders, making sure he isn't running away this time.
Sai murmurs, “I guess…”
His heart feels completely warm. Sai isn't even denying he wants to be together! He is about to make several suggestions, should they play a game? Get something to eat? Go on a walk? Perhaps it is too cold for Sai and he would cuddle with a blanket and rest… that would be fine, too! They can have some hot chocolate!
Before he can say a single word however, he is interrupted by a distant yet fairly loud thunder out there somewhere.
Ryusui of course will ignore it and keep talking. Or so he intended to.
“Do you still hate it?” Sai asks, so Ryusui is interrupted a second time.
“Heh. I'm an adult. I wouldn't be afraid of such a thing still.” He pauses, listening to the rain outside. “Although, that doesn't mean I like it.”
“You used to get really afraid.”
“Mhm.”
“And you cried a lot every time.”
“I was a puppy.”
“Right… last time I saw you, you were very small.” Sai allows himself a faint, nostalgic smile. Then he turns to actually look at his brother, the smile disappearing. “Now you are too big.”
Eh?
“I'm not that much taller than you, Sai!” He might be taller, but they are both tall. Perhaps Sai is referring to his muscular build? “I can teach you to work out if you'd like!”
“I'd rather die.”
Ryusui laughs.
Although he kind of feels the same way. It's been so many years… the memory of a young Sai was all he had for most of his life. Seeing how handsome he's become was a bit of a shock. And as Sai is the older brother, it was probably more shocking for him when they met again.
Another lighting, this one closer and louder.
Sai's ears flicker.
“It's always annoying, isn't it?” Ryusui comments. “Us dogs and cats have quite sensitive senses.”
“It is annoying. Because it reminds me of you.”
Ryusui tilts his head like a dog, because he is a dog. He isn't sure if this is some sort of roundabout way to offend him and call him too loud and overwhelming.
Sai's eyes lower again. “There was a thunderstorm last time you came to my room…” He says extremely quietly, with difficulty, like he's admitting to a secret.
Well, for Sai, this probably is a secret. Not the event itself, but the fact that he remembers it. That Ryusui is relevant enough for him to remember the ‘last’ time Ryusui went to look for him there.
The real last time however, Sai wasn't home anymore, so he wouldn't know. Sai has no desire to speak about anything that happened after Sai's departure, anyway.
“Ah, that time… I remember it too.” But why are you bringing up such a depressing day, Sai?
His grip on his brother tightens just a little.
“I…” Sai begins, but shuts his mouth after a second.
Ryusui watches him. He waits for more words, but they never come. “If you have something to say, you'll feel better after you say it.”
Sai glares up at him. “You really are annoying.”
“I am helping you.” Ryusui says with a smirk. “I promise. You will feel better.”
Sai holds his glare towards him, until he eventually sighs and gives him. “I…” His voice becomes too quiet again. Guess he is only comfortable speaking at a regular volume if it is to insult him. "I was mean. I'm sorry.”
“Hm.” Ryusui never wanted or expected Sai to apologize for anything, but now that he did, he finds that cute. “It's not a big deal. You don't have to be sorry.”
Sai looks at the rain instead of him. “Well, I am.”
Ryusui is silent for a moment. The same scene from back then replays in his head, while both siblings do nothing but listen to the raindrops outside. “Have you changed your mind, then?”
“Mhm?”
“You want to be my brother now?”
Ryusui wonders if Sai remembers that too, that small detail, or if he's been talking only about pushing him and kicking him out of the room.
No, Sai doesn't seem confused by the question.
“I wouldn't be here otherwise…”
Ryusui's tail wags faster, faster than ever before. “Hah! That's right! I apologize for asking a dumb question!”
Sai looks like he wants to push him away, but doesn't.
And so Ryusui takes the chance to pull him closer. He even kisses Sai's head, taking advantage of his ‘too big’ height making it easy to do so. Then panics that a kiss was too much, too intimate for a brother that can barely get himself to be in the same room as him… but he can't help it, dogs are too excitable!
He looks at Sai's face looking for a reaction.
The cat's face is redder than before, but that's about it. Ah, it's too bad a cat’s tail won't show happiness like a dog's. That would make it much easier to figure out.
But since he isn't hissing at him, either…
The dog pulls him into a hug. It's been… way too long. Even if you ignore the thousands of years for which humanity basically stopped existing, over a decade is still too much time without hugging your brother. He sighs, content, feeling like he might have really needed this, needed it more than he thought.
Not like Sai was ever affectionate or all that kind towards, but, there were times when he allowed Ryusui close. When he was in a good mood, when the pressure wasn't affecting him too much.
The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes how much their brotherhood was stolen from them.
That's why, he just can't blame Sai at all.
Although even if their circumstances were different, he probably still wouldn't blame him.
“Ryusui…”
“Too close?” The dog tries guessing.
“Too close.” The cat confirms.
Ryusui can only laugh. Being with Sai makes him awkward… but so, so happy.