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Out of all the questions plaguing mortals’ minds, one stood out the most to Adam despite it never being asked. It was always on the tip of their tongues, he could tell. When angels asked him about Eden, when Abel asked him about Eden, there was always one question on their mind. Adam could see it in their eyes.
Why did you eat the apple?
No one asked it. Adam was thankful no one asked it, because he would probably refuse to answer, or say something along the lines of “I don’t know”. But the thing is, he did know. And it weighed heavily on him every day.
It was who offered it to him, wasn’t it?
No, not Eve, though it was a contributing factor. She took a bite, so he’d have to take a bite too, right? He didn’t like being left out. But who offered it to Eve herself is a whole different story.
Once he had lain his eyes on Lucifer, he knew it was all over. He was quite possibly the most beautiful being he’d ever seen. His hopeful little eyes, his gorgeous wings, his little cheeks that Adam wanted to squish in his hands, it was all mesmerizing. That was why he took a bite of the apple. Because he had foolishly fallen for an angel he could never have.
Lilith loved him. Adam couldn’t love him. Did he love him? He didn’t know what he felt for him. His cheeks felt warm and his stomach twisted and he wanted to run every time Lucifer visited the garden.
He didn’t run, though. He was brave. He knew how to face his fears. That was why he’d approached him so very long ago, hoping for just a sliver of conversation.
He’d tapped him on the shoulder. “Hello.”
Lucifer turned sharply, eyes lighting up. “Hi! Do you, um, need anything? I can make plenty.” The angel scrambled behind his back, pulling out a duck from who knows where. “I have ducks!”
Adam took the duck gently in his hands. “Ducks?” He repeated, awestruck. The little bird was asleep in his hands, its plumage fluffy and not fully grown.
“I made them. Or, well, I pitched the idea and Heaven liked it enough to make them for me. They’re adorable, right?” Lucifer’s eyes shone with desire for validation.
“They are.” He said softly, petting the duck on its head. He smiled. This wasn’t how he had planned the conversation to have gone, but he loved it anyway.
“Thank you.” Lucifer blushed golden. “It’s…really nothing.”
They stood in silence for a moment. Lucifer must’ve found it awkward by the fact that he was swaying on his feet, but Adam continued fawning over the duckling in his palms.
“Are you…satisfied? Do you want anything more from me? I mean, I probably have something else…” Lucifer looked around rapidly for something to satisfy him with.
Adam held up one of his hands. “No, no. I just…wanted to talk to you.” He set the duck down and let it wander off. He spotted Lucifer watching it waddle away wistfully, but turned his attention back to him.
“Why?” The angel tilted his head.
He twiddled with his thumbs. “I just…never really got the chance to. I think you’re pretty.” He quickly added, “Um, cool. Pretty cool. I just…was curious.”
Lucifer stared at him blankly. Adam was unsure whether the gold dusting his cheeks was flush from his unintentional flirting or residue from earlier.
“...I’m not very interesting. I don’t know why you’d want to talk to me.”
“I’m sure you’re very interesting.”
Lucifer’s opinion seemed to turn around immediately without argument. “You think so? Well, thank you. I guess I am.”
Adam looked down at the grass beneath his feet, smiling slightly and thinking. He looked back up, smile almost a smirk.
“Can you make some more ducks?”
“Oh, well, of course!” Lucifer’s voice rose in excitement. He crouched down. Adam crouched down with him.
Making a globe shape with his hands, a beam of light erupted from Lucifer’s palms but faded just as quickly, leaving another duck in its wake. It was as young as the last and just as fluffy. Adam snatched it and petted it until it fought to scramble away. Lucifer watched with fondness.
“Can you make older ones?” Adam asked.
“Like, adults?”
“Yeah.”
“Um, maybe? I haven’t tried. I thought the babies would just be cuter.” Lucifer scratched the back of his neck, but tried anyway.
Making a bigger enclosure with his hands, another beam of light came and went. A larger duck nearly plopped down into his hands. It had a green head and a gray body. Adam set down the duckling and picked up the adult duck. It nipped at his hands and he dropped it immediately.
“Ooh! I’m so sorry!” Lucifer squeaked.
“No, no, it’s fine.” Adam reassured, cradling his hand with a wince. “I think I like the ducklings better.”
Lucifer smiled. “Me too.”
And they continued like that for countless hours. Laughing together and making more ducks than they could count. Adam pet each one. Both of their cheeks hurt from smiling so hard.
Adam could remember that whole interaction word for word. He could remember each twist of Lucifer’s mouth, each little blush on both of them, each fond glance from Lucifer. He remembered it all.
That’s why it hurt so much in his last moments.
When Lucifer swooped in to save his daughter from Adam’s wrath. When Lucifer defended his daughter like his life depended on it. When Lucifer held her in his arms as he sent a glare of a thousand knives Adam’s way. It hurt more than the punches he would soon receive from him.
He hadn’t seen Lucifer in so long. He looked so different. Red instead of blue, big, gorgeous wings that were now the color of fire, and fire and horns and everything you’d associate the Devil with. He looked so different from the young, cheerful angel in Eden.
His longing to see him changed into a twisted sort of agony. This wasn’t the man he’d loved. This was everything he could hate. But still, there was a sort of glint in his eyes that still contained him. A glint that maybe Adam was just making up in his head; something to hold onto. That was the only semblance of the old him left.
He’d changed so much. And now he hated Adam.
Then he bled. In the only way he knew how.
He cursed at the demons surrounding him. He yelled at them and belittled them the best he could. All of his words, however, were directed to Lucifer.
“No...you don't get to end this! I'm fucking Adam! I'm the fucking man, and you're just some fuckin' clown or something. I started everything on Earth! All of mankind came from these fucking nuts! You all should be worshipping me, you ungrateful, disgusting, fucking LOSERS!”
And he didn’t get the chance to say any more. He barely registered the knife as it stabbed through his back.
Lute’s cries were nothing to him. Mere background noise. She looked at him with desperation in her eyes. She was crying. She was crying for him to come back. She was the only one who would.
So he did the only thing he could think of at that moment: he smiled at her like he’d smiled at Lucifer all those years ago.
And then everything faded away.