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It felt like waking up knowing you had no work the next day, peacefully opening your eyes to see the afternoon sun and not the muted blue of the morning days of labour ahead.
Breathing felt easier to Wyatt. There was no bleach-like smell of the fake grass he bled out on in the Cornucopia, but fresh and real. There was no longer the grating taste of iron in his mouth that he choked up in his final moments. For a second, the oddsmaker didn’t want to open his eyes, worried if he did the sound of the wind rustling the trees would turn into agonising silence.
As if to test the waters, he let his hand move against the grass. It felt real. He could feel the dirt underneath. Wyatt slowly dragged a fingertip along the dirt in some odd way to ground himself without opening his eyes. Whatever this was, he never wanted it to end. Tracing around through the grass his hands froze when it felt a different texture. Cold, hard and small.
He didn’t hesitate to open his eyes wide to a blinding summer meadow.
Laying down on his stomach, the sun peeking through the branches of leaves above, was his fingertip on top of an item more precious to him than he thought. A coin, rusted yet gained the slightest shine to after all the times he ran it over the rough callouses of his hands in comfort. It was still tied around a carefully braided bronze cord, glinting in the sunlight. Wyatt didn’t know why something like the cord made his heart squeeze into a tightness he hadn’t felt until the past week. He picked up the coin carefully as if the slightest movement would cause it to disappear, lifting it to the sky that he only realised now was such a colourful blue he found himself distracted for a moment.
It didn’t take much for the clouds to blur into watercolour as tears welled up in his eyes. Was this what had been waiting for him all along? An afterlife of the fields of his district home he loved to come by after a rough day at the mines, to bask in the last warmth of the golden sunlight before it left for the night. There’s this feeling of bittersweet in his heart as he uses the newfound strength of his unharmed body to stand. Those moments watching the sun set after work were special and because he had worked in those mines all day long, it was a more prized reward to relax his tense muscles against a tree. He’ll never have that again, forever placed in a happy memory that wasn’t exactly his.
Wyatt clips his token around his neck, the familiar metal pressed faintly against his chest calmed him. He looks down at himself when he admires the coin before noticing his attire is no longer the one he died in. Instead of the black and white cloak style outfit he wore in the arena, his familiar oversized jacket, buttoned up grey shirt that was too long on him alongside the coal dusted pants wrapped him up warmly. If he didn’t feel at home before, he sure did now. Reaching to his head he was disappointed to not feel the roughness of his hat, but a quick scan around where he woke up showed it just a couple feet from him. He picked up the hat and placed it over the dark strands of his hair, shading his eyes from the sun above.
Taking the first step along the grass, he smiled to himself. What were the odds of this? For all he knew, he had a lifetime to find the answer.
Walking across the fields of grass to a large tree that hung high amongst the others, he thought back on his friends. If this was a type of afterlife, would he see the others if they happen to fall in the arena? Or was this a case of being alone in his own version of limbo. Alone, separated from family and friends without the knowledge of if this happened to them or if he was special. Wyatt reached the bottom of the tree, the place he always sat when he came here. With nothing to do he lowered his body down and leaned against the trunk. It was nice in the shade, free from the warmth but not too cold he was uncomfortable. A perfect balance only a place the afterlife could conjure up. Leaning his head back, watching the leaves sway in the warm breeze like a lullaby, he wonders if the bird was here too. This was once his spot too.
As if on que, a chirp from the tree above cut his thoughts to a pause. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining sounds or not but he let himself hope for that small moment.
When thinking of a way to bring the bird down to see if it was the same, he remembered a time he helped his mom feed the birds with stale breadcrumbs outside. It was around a year ago, she wanted to create some last sweet memories with her youngest if the worst came to happen. His mom had lifted a hand with the pebbles of crumbs in her palm and let out a high pitched whistle of a song. Seconds passed before a mockingjay flew down to her fingertips, ducking its head with a chirp as it ate the breadcrumbs.
“Sing to them and they’ll come to you. Why don’t you try, Wyatt?” She had whispered to not startle the bird. Wyatt collected some breadcrumbs in his palm and raised them to the sky in an offering, lips pressed together the way he saw her do and blew out. It was awful, barely creating a tune and making his mom shake with laughter. But even with his burning cheeks in embarrassment he didn’t lower his hands, eyes closed tightly in hope at least one would accept.
When his mom’s laughter suddenly stopped he peeled an eye open to her. Meeting her kind gaze she simply nodded to his hands. Following her guide, he kept his body as still as possible until there, in the palm of his hands stood such a small mockingjay he was worried it flew off without its mothers permission. He kept his excitement down as he watched the bird nibble on the crumbs. Wyatt looked back over to his mom with such a bright smile, he wonders now if that’s how she’ll remember him. Not the reaped booker boy's son but a boy who she put all her heart into raising to be a good man, only for his luck to reach its end. Maybe she knows he used that learned kindness to save Lou Lou from early death.
Putting one of his moms lessons to practice, without the offer of breadcrumbs to his disappointment, he pressed his lips together and blew out a messy tune. Better than the last attempt at least.
Wyatt leaned his head back against the bark of the tree. He didn’t expect the bird to come down so quickly so he let his eyes flutter shut, embracing the peacefulness of the fields. The boy stayed like that for a few moments and felt the stress lifting off his mind in small waves. He thinks he could get used to this. Sure, there was this piece of his heart that felt like it was still back in the arena without his friends by his side, but he never let himself consider the odds of something after death.
That’s a lie. He did once. When he was taking a shortcut back home from the Donner’s sweet shop, he found himself standing at a grave with an unfamiliar name carved in its stone. Graves in district twelve were usually in groups, but this one was by itself among a variety of colourful wildflowers and more, most he didn’t recognise. His mind wandered and began thinking of who this person could have been. Did he know them? The grave looked pretty old though, so he doubted it. But in that moment he happened to trail the path of thoughts of death. He wondered where they were, was it an emptiness or was it something beautiful like the old lady at one of the shops spoke about to him once. Though these thoughts went and passed just as quick when he knew the statistics weren’t accurate enough to grab an answer. Guess now he knows.
When Wyatt opened his eyes again, sun still high in the sky, he quickly took notice of the small visitor by his hand. White feathers and vibrant eyes.
“Hello again old friend..” he smiled down at the bird, carefully reaching over to stroke its wings. So soft and no longer the tattered, bloody mess he found it in. He was happy that even all alone in these fields he was given one friend to reunite with.
“I wouldn’t exactly call you friend, Wyatt.”
A quiet yet brave voice spoke from behind him. The boy was startled near to a second death as he turned around in a panic. Small, arms crossed and two perfect braids sat past Louella McCoy’s shoulders while she looked down at him with something akin to a judgemental look. There wasn’t a trace of blood on her head like her body once shown from the chariot. A different kind of ache in his heart blossomed.
Wyatt opened his mouth to speak but not a sound could come out. Who would have thought you could get a dry throat in the afterlife? Whatever reason she was here she didn’t look exactly pleased but then he sourly remembered the kind of relationship they had before her death. Neither could get along, more so they didn’t get the chance to try, but either way he began to worry that she was going to somehow throw him out of this field. He could honestly believe that Louella would have total power over a place so full of peace and his sudden presence was going to ruin it, he wouldn’t blame her if she had some way to make him leave.
He slowly got up onto his feet and the bird flew up onto his shoulder, seemingly happy to not leave him yet. Stood in front of her he took a moment to realise just how young she had died, and how sickenly accurate Lou Lou had looked to her. What does he even say to her? I’m sorry you died so early, I wish we could have had more time to try and be allies, if I had the chance now I would take your place, you would have liked Lou Lou, questions and more ran through his head before Louella sighed loudly.
“I had hoped you of all people wouldn’t have died so early.” She dropped her crossed arms, shoulders still a little tense but an obvious guard dropping. Wyatt wondered if maybe she’d just been alone here for too long to start arguing with him already. The thought that Louella was here gave him this terrible hope that if the others die in the arena they’ll wake up here.
“What do you.. uhm, mean?” He felt that same awkwardness crawl back up into his chest like he was back on the train. In response Louella looked even more judgey with the raised eyebrow she was giving him. His hands reached to his necklace to stroke the coin inside to calm himself.
“What do I mean? I thought with your oddsmaking stuff you’d at least survive a day in there! Did you trip on a rock and crack your head? Drink poisoned water or I don’t know-“
“I died to give Lou Lou more time.” Wyatt cut her off, not really caring in that moment that Louella had no idea who he was on about. When the young girl gave an exasperated gesture in confusion he took in a deep breath before retelling her the events of Lou Lou. He told her about the time they first met, in the Capitol apartments kitchen when Haymitch came back from wherever he was taken to, announcing that she would be Louella’s body double. How the Capitol had treated her and still controlled what she heard and spoke through the earpiece connected to her. From the little moments in the training area to the few nights she spent curled up next to him sleeping away the countdown to her death she didn’t even realise was there. To his gratefulness, Louella kept herself quiet and listened to his words. This was probably the first time in their very little conversations where there wasn’t any malice between them.
Wyatt even admitted how in his final moments he would have loved Lou Lou to be his sister.
When he finished, he couldn’t tell if he felt lighter or heavier getting to tell someone about everything that happened to him. Louella’s face danced between too many emotions to list. Her hands played with the frilled trimming of her sleeves while she tried to pick the right words.
“You think Haymitch could win?..” A change in subject but Wyatt didn’t mind, he supposed the reality of being replaced by the Capitol needed to have more time to accept. The oddsmaker gave a bit of a shrug to her question. “Haymitch seemed to have a plan he wasn’t telling us, so it’s either genius or complete idiocy. But ignoring that I think Maysilee has a higher chance at winning the games.” There was a voice in the back of his head, cruel and honest that he’d never want to listen to in a million years, torn between wanting Maysilee and Haymitch to be here with them soon but also for either to have that chance to live a comfortable life as a winner. Louella nodded at his answer in understanding, going back to fiddling with the fabric of her sleeves nervously.
Moments after she walked past him and took a spot in the shade under the tree, looking up at the boy and nodding for him to sit. Once he settled back down into the grass the bird hopped down to settle between them.
“You mind telling me the rest I’ve missed out on?” She offered an awkward smile. Louella may be young but she was perceptive, knowing that asking this would make Wyatt have to recall everything he could to help her catch up. It wouldn’t be pleasant for either of them. If there was one thing Wyatt admired of her even from back on the train, was this small flicker of bravery that had yet to grow into a bright flame. He supposed he can try learning that from her now.
“Sure..” Wyatt gave the same smile back, taking off his cap and running a hand through the dark strands. “Can I just say, before all of this-“ and before he could even think of the words, Louella cut him off.
“I think we would have been friends in the end too, Wyatt.” She finished for him, her long braids moving in the summer breeze.
Wyatt’s smile turned into one full of relief and warmth. This is what he’d wished for, back when he was bleeding out his soul into the poisoned grass. The time to finally build a bridge with the one he never got the chance with.
In the midst of the two catching up, small laughs and grievances shared, Wyatt asked her about the time she woke up here. Louella had simply smiled and shared that she thought it was the universe's way of apologising by letting her wake up in the fields she loved. Apparently, like Wyatt, she too had spent quite some time amongst the grass. Back when she was alive, her father had already put the fear of the games into her mind, causing nightmares conjured by his words. Whenever these nightmares occurred, the small girl would climb out her window and take a walk to ease her mind. These walks led her to the same path to the fields where she sat by a tree to watch the stars flicker by in the night sky.
___
When the sun set and tiny freckles of stars appeared above them, the two spent time laying under the tree and pointing out constellations. Wyatt couldn’t be more grateful to have company. He got to learn more about Louella and even bonded over their dislike for Wyatt’s dad after understanding he was never once happy with his dads betting habits on innocent kids in the games. He himself wasn’t proud of always being dragged into predicting the odds of the tributes for him, rather wanting to use his skills for better use, but Louella seemed to understand and didn’t make some snarky comment over it.
At some point Wyatt had drifted off to sleep, head resting into the tall grass that tickled his skin every now and then. He was slightly curious if he could have dreams in this place. Would he dream of his friends that are still fighting for their lives? Or would he begin to be tormented with nightmares. To his luck he was given a peaceful dream and without the weight of anything on his mind he might as well have been sleeping on the softest cloud imaginable. While most of it was forgettable, there were fragments he could remember. Haymitch’s careful eyes watching over them, Maysilee’s hands checking for injuries in an overprotective manner and even Lou Lou learning origami by his side. He wished they were together again, but it felt wrong to wish for their death.
Waking up felt somewhat magical. There was no headache like he used to have, either from exhaustion of the mines or general bad sleep, it was simply one moment he was asleep and the next he was awake. The sun was just beginning to rise in the way that casted the sky in such a gorgeous teal he wished he had a canvas to paint it. Blinking a couple times his eyes focused on a figure with braids leaning over him, feeling a faint movement of her hands pushing against his arm as if to jostle him awake quicker.
What did Louella want? Was something happening? He rubbed his eyes as he sat up, a feeling of panic beginning to choke him at the possibilities of it being bad.
“Louella? What’s wrong?” he blinked his eyes open and met bright grey, oh so familiar irises. Always similar to Louella’s but not the exact same shade. For a moment Wyatt believed he was seeing double once he spotted the actual Louella stood just a couple feet away, a knowing smile on her lips. His gaze slowly turned back to the one sat by his side. Wires from her chest and an earpiece no longer connected, a child finally free from the cold grasp of the Capitol.
His heart both warmed at the delight of finally seeing her again before it shattered into dull pieces, realising his dear sister Lou Lou, was now dead.
Wyatt felt the same speechlessness he did when he first saw Louella. Without the worries of the world on the young girl's shoulders she looked so much more alive. Eyes no longer dull, a healthy weight on her cheeks and while not home for her, the fields were still a place for her to feel safe. He sat up onto his knees and made sure she was alright. How did she die? He hoped it wasn’t painful and he hoped most of all it wasn’t to that bastard Panache. Hands reached up to cup her cheeks, warm and causing a giggling smile to erupt from Lou Lou.
“Lou Lou…” he whispered, ignoring the way his voice cracked. He wonders if this was how his mom felt each year during the reaping when he narrowly escaped a dark fate, simply glad her boy could continue living in her warm embrace. Wyatt did exactly what his mom did and wrapped his arms around the girl, pulling her as close as possible. Even if this afterlife spared them from the natural dangers of the world Wyatt promised he would continue his job at protecting his sister for as long as the universe would let him. Lou Lou let out a gleeful laugh as she returned the hug, equally glad to be back with him in such a beautiful place.
“Wyatt!” It was the first time he heard her say his name freely. He hugged her tighter.
___
After Lou Lou’s arrival, he had the suspicion someone else would be joining them soon. Unless Haymitch and Maysilee could somehow trick the Capitol into accepting two victors he didn’t let himself get any hope up. The three of them had decided to have a wander around the fields, Lou Lou holding Wyatt’s hand as she pointed at anything that caught her eyes from mockingjays flying above in a sing-song tune or brightly coloured flowers. She didn’t run to the flowers whenever she seemed excited pointing them out, making Wyatt wonder exactly what happened back in the arena. He knew she’d tell him when she was ready.
The trio found a river stream the oddsmaker remembered well. His old bird friend had seemingly flown off while he was asleep earlier but he didn’t mind, it probably wanted to explore just as much as the three of them. Louella brought up the idea of stepping in the river for some fun, saying that she’d teach them how to skim rocks like her father taught her. They piled their socks and shoes by the riverside pebbles, Wyatt rolling up his pants to his knees and helping Lou Lou into the stream with a hand just in case she slipped. The water wasn’t freezing cold but a lukewarm temperature and felt lovely against their legs as it ran by in a gentle sound.
True to her word Louella taught them how to skim some pebbles. Lou Lou had the most success, her excitement radiating like sun rays at each little noise the rock made against the water. Wyatt was a bit too hard on his wrist but got it down with Louella’s teaching. For a while the three went at the activity with smiles and jokes bouncing off each other.
That was until a fourth person decided to make their appearance known in the most dramatic way possible.
“You!” He heard the sound of her necklaces before her voice, it was kind of pissed off and most definitely directed to Wyatt and he couldn’t lie about being relieved to hear her. Turning around in the river there he saw Maysilee Donner in all her glory, storming down in that lavender coloured dress he always spotted her and Merilee in. He was honestly a bit too stunned from her sudden appearance, his guard lowering completely, a small mistake on his part. She didn’t even care to take off her shoes as she began to run into the water, the fabric of her dress dyed a dark purple as she gave him a hard enough push to slip on the wet pebbles and cause half his body to fall into the water. The splash from falling sent dots of water into his hair and over his face but his shocked expression didn’t change as she looked up at him. Maysilee reminded him of that Alice girl in a fairytale he read once from a battered old book, looking larger from this view like she too ate from a slice of cake.
“You selfless idiot!” She splashed water on him in some weak form of an attack, making Lou Lou and Louella stifle a laugh from the side. Was she actually angry at him? He doubted it. “I saw- I had to watch that! You could have taken Lou Lou somewhere to save her or fight Panache, not give her the trauma of dying right in front of her!” Ah, so that’s what this was about. Obviously Wyatt doubted he could have done either of those in that little time frame between the blade rising and Lou Lou’s slow reaction. But it seemed Maysilee was too busy taking out whatever pent up anger she had in her dying moments right to him.
The boy looked up at her with wide eyes, his hat falling off his head and into the river which Louella thankfully caught before it could swim away. Maysilee had her hands on her hips and waited for a reply.
“I’m sorry?” He hoped the questioning tone didn’t make her more angry, he genuinely was confused. How do you apologise for dying to your closest friend? Maysilee let out a loud groan of annoyance and to all their surprise sat down into the water next to Wyatt like she just gave up. They all have a sympathetic look to her, knowing if the circumstances weren’t this she never would have ruined her dress.
“I shouldn’t have left Haymitch.. I didn’t want to be alone and look where that’s got me..” she felt like crying. Maysilee was proud of how she left that world, not giving a single piece of her fear to the disgusting pigs of the Capitol. But when she woke up here on these fields she wanted to cry until her throat went raw. It felt like a part of herself was missing, and she no doubt knows Merilee felt it too.
“How many were left when you…” Wyatt asked hesitantly. Louella and Lou Lou walked through the water over to them, the two sharing a seat on a large rock that stuck out from the stream.
“Three. Including Haymitch.. god I hope-“ she hiccuped and let out another annoyed groan at her slow breakdown, rubbing her eyes with the ends of her palms. “I hope he or Wellie wins, they deserve to live and I know they can change the world.. I know it.” The others let Maysilee calm herself down, she didn’t need them to crowd her with comfort and they understood. They all sat and listened to the rushing water and birds around singing.
Once calmed Maysilee caught them up on what happened over the days in the arena to her death by pink bird mutts. She kept an accurate track of every tribute who died and where they could be, Wyatt was impressed and was proud of how big of a heart she still had. Even in an arena to the death Maysilee Donner still had the kindness to remember each tribute. He quietly mourned that she sat here with them, knowing that she was likely one of the only people who would remember most of them. He was reminded of the only winner from district twelve, how no one could remember them and if they did refuse to speak.
When Maysilee had finished speaking, standing up from the water and wringing her dress with a sorrowful expression on her face, she walked to the riverside to sit in the sun and dry. The rest followed with a shake of their own clothes. The afternoon sun was beginning to pass and the air felt cooler on their wet skin. Maysilee’s hands reached for some daisies sprouted in a bunch by the pebbles, taking one by one and calming her nerves by creating a necklace with the stems. Her nail poked into the green stem as she slid through another daisy, the pattern continuing as the four all sat in silence. They all had something to occupy them while they dried in the sun. Wyatt rolled his coin between his knuckles, Lou Lou tried to follow Maysilee’s pattern with the daisy chain and Louella skimmed a few small pebbles across the sparkling water.
After a quiet few minutes, Maysilee was the first to speak up. She had two daisy chains completed and had looped one of them around Lou Lou’s neck. The young girl had given her a warm smile as a thank you.
“Louella.. I’m so sorry for everything that happened.” The girl in response tried to shake her head and say it was alright, but Maysilee didn’t listen and continued her stream of apologies for both her unfortunate death and her own rude behaviour as she reached behind her neck and took off one of her many necklaces. It was one of Maysilee’s favourites, purple and yellow shaded beads dotted around the wire in many sizes. “I wanted to give this to you.. before everything. We all deserved to have a token.” The blonde held it out to the girl as if it was an olive branch. Louella took a moment to admire the necklace before she gave a nod in understanding, letting her attach it around her neck.
“It looks beautiful on you.” Maysilee smiled brightly. Louella looked down at the beads and returned the smile. “I know.” For a moment they were back on that train, having one of their first and probably last kind interactions in that world.
When the three asked Maysilee about waking up here, the blonde said after her small breakdown it was nice to be somewhere familiar, that during her lunch breaks working at the sweet shop she liked to come here and enjoy the afternoon sun on her skin. Wyatt began to understand a pattern here.
___
When they all called it a day and decided to climb back up the hills of the sunset coloured meadow to the tree, a kind of symbol to them now as it’s where they all seemed to wake up around, there sat two girls together. One familiar to some of them, Lenore Dove, Maysilee had whispered to them. Haymitch’s love. She also added that Haymitch told her he visited the girl in the early mornings in this field, a flock of geese surrounding her as she played music. At first, Wyatt didn’t know why Maysilee needed to add that, but he quickly realised she probably had the same theory as him about these fields. However, neither of them knew the other girl sat next to Lenore. Her skirt was as eye-catching as the guitar she was strumming and paired with a singing, thick country accent, it sounded like home.
Despite that, Maysilee and Wyatt swore they had both once seen her recently, a fuzzy memory of the night before the games came back to them. Memories of holographic screens in the Capitol showing interviews of previous games, a young girl performing a familiar song to a crowd of pathetic rich folk in order to have a chance at living. The two shared a knowing look and while they didn’t know her name, they knew who she once was.
The group quietly joined the two girls who gratefully accepted their presence with a sad smile. Together they sat under the tree shielding them from the golden sunset, but not enough so they could watch it paint across the fields in a warm touch. Lou Lou snuggled up to Wyatt’s side, Maysilee rested her head against the boy's shoulder and Louella pressed herself beside the blonde with a smile. It was a more peaceful recreation of their last night together. Lenore and the mysterious girl continued singing together, a song most of them had heard people sing during funerals back in their district.
Wyatt closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath and relaxing against the tree. His friends in his reach and a melody to drift him into pleasant dreams. His mind wanders before he lets himself sleep and he thinks about these fields, how somehow each tribute had a connection to the fields back in their home of district twelve. Even his old bird friend, who had flown down to join them in the pile, also had a connection here. It was where he first found the wounded bird. They all visited the meadow at some point during the day, yet their paths never crossed. He thinks of how it took death for them to be here, of how many times had they all sat and watched either the sun or the moon and never knew someone just like them was doing the same that day.
There’s a heartwarming feeling in his chest that in the end, they could sit together in the fields, waiting for their last friend who they know by now has been forced to a blood stained crown of a longer and wealthier life that he never wanted. The group wishes deep down that he doesn’t meet them soon, he has a world to change.