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A piercing blaring noise rang through Kaoru’s bedroom. He rolled over and by muscle memory alone slammed his hand on the alarm clock. It was hardly any different from any other day. A few moments passed where he deliberated whether or not he should just reembrace the ever comforting lull of unconsciousness or actually get up. Despite this illusion of choice he painstakingly planted both hands palm-down on his mattress and mustered all of his strength just to sit up in bed. Blearily, he blinked his eyes open and stared blankly at the bookshelf in front of him. It was another day.
He shifted his body to where it allowed for his legs to hang off the edge. He then stretched both legs out and rotated his ankles, finding satisfaction in the sickly popping and squelching noises the cartilage made. He shrugged his shoulders and—finally—stood up. Folding his hands behind his back, he rolled back his shoulders waiting for a crack that never came;it only exacerbated the aching in his already sore back. The next part of his routine was so mundane there was no point in him even thinking about it anymore. It’s not like he had the energy to actually notice what he was doing. Sluggishly he grabbed the top pair of a neatly-folded uniform shirt and matching trousers from the leftmost drawer on the middle row of his vanity. At some point he had put his arms through the sleeves and was buttoning the dress shirt; starting from the bottom button and going up. Once the task of merely dressing himself was over he started towards the bedroom door.
To avoid detection from his surely-conscious family, he slowly turned the knob as far as it would go and opened the door just wide enough to squeeze himself through. He then—just as slowly—closed the door behind him and in the same fashion rotated the knob back to its original position. He walked heel-toe down the hallway towards the front door quickly but not obviously so. He could hear his younger sister arguing inanely with their even younger brother. Thankfully, his mother’s back was facing him so he was able to swiftly slide his dark leather shoes and exit the complex. He was in no mood to be pointlessly bothered about his schoolwork. He got good grades, so why did it matter? It often felt as though she was pointlessly being nit-picky.
He walked for about ten minutes before heading down the familiar steps to the metro stop. He scanned his card and waited on the red line platform to board the train. This whole pattern felt nauseatingly redundant. A faint chime rang above him, clearing his head. A rush of wind blew his hair back and made him squint his eyes slightly as the subway rolled in. He found a seat closest to a window so he could attempt to focus himself. He had four stops. As much as he wanted to pretend to forget that fact and just not go to school, he knew stupid ideas like that wouldn’t actually get him anywhere.
The subway ran for maybe sixty seconds before it unexpectedly stopped, lurching everyone forward. Kaoru’s face smashed into the seat in front of him with a wet crushing sound. He sat up—hand shooting up to cradle his nose which had already begun to spurt hot blood—to see all the other passengers confusedly looking around at one another. The confusion lasted only a second before a girl’s voice—maybe a few years younger than his—rang out panickedly.
“Holy shit!!! She fuckin’ died!!!!” The girl shrieked, face so pale it was nearly translucent. Her palm hovered above her hand as her splayed fingers quivered anxiously. Kaoru could see the pastel pink fake nails on her neatly-manicured hands practically vibrate in utter horror. Immediately following this declaration, several passengers gasped or muttered to the people they were commuting with.
“Oh my God, poor lady.” A sympathetic woman said quietly to his right. She was dressed casually and holding a large empty tote bag. Kaoru knew there was a large outdoor market near the next stop.
“Well, Christ, did she hafta’ use a train?” A disgruntled older man said to the man next to him. They were two rows ahead of Kaoru, dressed professionally.
“Ugh. I feel bad an’ all, but c’mon, we’ve got places to be. Who knows how long we’ll be stuck here.” The other man replied bitterly, slumping into his seat. “We oughta’ tell boss we’ll be late.”
The remaining passengers looked anywhere from annoyed to slightly depressed. Kaoru blinked owlishly. He looked down at the blood pooled in his palm. He looked back up at the front of the train. He blinked again. What was he supposed to do? The voices in the train tapered off alongside the blood from his nose. Everyone sat in an awkward almost-silence—occasionally broken up by the first girl’s pitchy sobs. After an indeterminable time had passed, the doors were manually opened from the outside.
Local police officers led everyone outside and away from the front of the train. A few people that had sat near the front were pulled aside for mild questioning. Kaoru could hear some of the questions: Did they see the lady fall, was she pushed, did the engineer seem intoxicated in any way, was anything amiss, so on and so forth. It seemed a bit pointless to Kaoru. They wouldn’t leave that poor girl alone; she hadn’t stopped crying or acting hysterical since the impact. It’s not like they would get anything useful out of her and no one else saw it happen. It was only at that moment he had registered how badly his ears were ringing. He suddenly felt very weak. The muscles in his legs loosened as he began to shake.
“Hey, hey. Are you alright, kid?” An officer suddenly put his hand on Kaoru’s shoulder. Kaoru hadn’t even heard him coming. He slinked over to a bench nearby to catch his breath—when was he out of breath? The physical reactions were annoying, if confusing. He didn’t know that lady, why should he care? If anything he should be irritated—she did make him late. Even so, he still found himself hanging his head and counting his breaths.
The minute the officers let the passengers go on their merry way Kaoru stood up, turned around and walked straight back to his duplex. If anything good came from this, he had a valid reason to skip his classes today. He was entirely blanked out on the walk home; his eyes hardly focused on anything but the ground in front of him. He only wanted to get from point A to B. When he blinked back into reality he was twisting the key in the doorknob. Both parents were at work, smaller children at school. Ashamedly it was probably the happiest he had felt all day. He could finally relax. He closed and locked the door behind him and walked back to his room. Kicking his shoes off, he climbed back into bed. He felt so heavy. Opting to ignore the weight of the day’s events he ultimately decided to just sleep it off. Through his hazy mind, he thought about how he would explain to his parents why he stayed home without those miserable pitying faces they always make.