Chapter Text
There’s a hole.
Somewhere in Megan’s life there’s a hole.
Whether it be the literal hole in her wallet that she should’ve replaced months ago, or the hole in her career of fashion since nothing she creates looks good enough. Or maybe she’s referring to the hole in her relationship with Yoonchae.
Their relationship was supposed to be perfect. And it was until it wasn’t.
Megan feels like she’s dragging Yoonchae down with her with everything wrong she does in life. Her girlfriend shouldn’t have to work extra shifts at a minimum wage job to support her career. That factor was ideally the most sought out for in a relationship, but Megan can’t help but feel guilty about it.
Yoonchae has her own silent struggles and adding Megan’s to the pile would surely kill her one day.
“I don’t think this is working out,” Megan told Yoonchae one day during their weekly movie night. Yoonchae loved movie nights. Megan was such an asshole.
“What?” Yoonchae asked, not believing her ears. “Why? Did something happen? Did I do something wrong?”
“It’s—“ Megan took in a deep breath. The movie on the tv remained playing. Megan knows Yoonchae would grow to hate this movie later on. She knows that any time Yoonchae even hears a split second of the movie, she would go numb. “It’s not you.”
“Then what?” Yoonchae turned and took Megan’s hands with her own, holding tightly with the thought that if she held on long enough, Megan would stay. “Megan, tell me.”
“I’m adding to your struggles.” Megan finally gained the courage to look at Yoonchae in the eyes and she regretted the action with every atom in her body.
Yoonchae’s eyes were shining, but not in the beaming attitude she’d always have for Megan. Her eyes were shining with tears that wanted to run down her face until her body ran out of water. Her beautiful brown eyes that Megan loved with her whole heart was staring at her like she'd physically ripped her heart out—and she might as well have.
“You think I don’t see it but I do. You work so many hours for me to go to school and you’re younger than me.”
“I don’t care. I’ll work all the hours for you. Twenty four hours in a day, I’ll work all twenty of them—“
“Chip.” Megan shook her head, pulling back her hands from Yoonchae. “It’s for the best. We both know that.”
Yoonchae looked up at the clock; five minutes until midnight. Megan wondered why she was looking at the clock until it struck her. Anniversary. Fuck, it was their anniversary.
“Not tonight,” Yoonchae said quietly. She turns her head back to Megan. “Not now. Give me five more minutes with you…please.”
The crack in Yoonchae’s voice broke everything inside Megan. she just wrapped her arms around Yoonchae’s neck and pulled her in for a tight hug, tucking Yoonchae into her neck just like she always would. “Megan…” She whispered.
“I know,” Megan whispered back. Yoonchae just pulled her impossibly closer, tears rolling down her face. The tears felt hot against Megan’s skin and she finally cried too. “I know.”
The repeated words didn’t make it better at all. Every tick of the clock marked one second closer until the end of their relationship.
Yoonchae pulled back and looked into Megan’s eyes deeply. Her eyes reminded Megan of their first argument; the argument that made Megan remember that Yoonchae was still younger, more vulnerable.
Megan leaned in first, her lips pressing against Yoonchae’s softly—like she was apologizing for everything all at once. Yoonchae kissed her back like her life depended on it, her fingers clenching around the fabric of Megan’s shirt.
They didn’t pull apart until it was a minute after twelve. Zero in military time. It has always been a countdown to zero.
Megan really was an asshole.