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Heavy eyelids opened. Rakka tried to discern the location of the clock's thin hands but found the task impossible. It, along with most of the dark bedroom, remained as blurry shilloettes but she didn't need night vision to know it was late.
It had been late when they got back though so how long had she been asleep? An hour? An entire day? Weeks?
Her body, through all it's aches, told her it was likely one of the latter.
Her mouth was dry. The rest of her was sore. Somehow in worse condition from letting her body atrophe as she was from falling into a well.
But maybe feeling anything was a good sign. The dumb euphoria that had overtaken her seemed to be gone. Probably best to obediently wait for Reki's assessment before deciding she really was better but Rakka felt healed.
Enough to fetch herself a glass of water? To be determined.
It seemed no one was around to get her some so she tried to climb to her feet. Something stopped her. A weight. On quick inspection, she found it wasn't from her body, which left her relieved. Instead she was being held in a pair of arms.
Rakka finally registered the breathing behind her. She had her suspicions who it was. Much to her joy, she was proven correct as she rolled over.
Adrenaline had left Rakka exhausted so she crashed as soon as they returned to Old Home. It only made sense that Reki, who'd spent the entire night looking for her and the ensuing unknown period of time trying everything to keep her safe, would be just as prone to collapsing as soon as she touched a bed.
The older girl cooed a little in her sleep. Annoyed that the soft pillow of charcoal feathers had been so selfishly snatched away.
Seeing her passed out on top of the blankets still in her day clothes, one would assume Reki would be freezing. Especially in the dead of winter. On the contrary. Rakka was the one who shivered in the absence of her friend's bodyheat. She inched closer, whispering an apology.
“I didn't mean to disturb you. Thank you for taking care of-,” she added, stopping when she noticed the tension on Reki's face.
Before she could ask, Reki's entire body began to tremble. Her jaws twitched, voice trembling like she was trying to scream but couldn't.
Rakka reached out and took her hand.
As soon as their skin touched, Reki pulled away, and let out a scream. Rakka should have let go. She refused to. Unsure why but convinced she needed to hold on. The two fell out of bed, crashing on the floor.
The ringing sound Rakka's halo made when it hit the nightstand was a little embarassing but other than that it seemed perfectly in tact. Her hair had likely become a disaster but when wasn't it? This wasn't exactly either of their best moments to say the least. Not Rakka or the girl she'd landed on next to. They both seemed unharmed though. That was what mattered.
Reki's humiliated look was gone so quickly that Rakka almost didn't notice it. Her main priority upon regaining consciousness was the same it had been for as long as they'd known each other. “Rakka?!” her face was so close Rakka almost had trouble registering the words, “I didn't hurt you, did I?!”
She cautiously but swiftly shook her head.
“Good. Sorry for being such a rough sleeper...” Reki sighed and leaned back.
“It's okay. Really.” Rakka said. Her eyes landed on their hands. Her palms found themselves on the rug as Reki pulled her's away. Her's now rested on the cold tile floor where she sat. “What about you?”
“Aside from my pride, everything's fine.” That was when it finally dawned on her. Rakka was awake. She smiled. “Welcome back.”
“How much time has passed?” Rakka quickly asked.
“Only a few days.”
“That long?!”
“Don't worry. The worst is over. Now you just have to stay in bed a few more.”
“But then…”
Reki cut her off. “You'd feel like a freeloader. It's fine. I'll be happy to take care of you.”
“Like you had been... before we ended up here?”
It took Reki a second to realize what she was talking about. Plenty of time for Rakka to backtrack. Just as she was about to, Reki chuckled and replied, “That was an accident.”
“I assumed.”
Likely registering the dissapointment, Reki leaned in close once more, dischevelled dark hair spilling forward. “But you think me sleeping next you is what sped up your recovery?”
“Wouldn't hurt to try it again.?”
“No,” Reki confirmed. “It wouldn't.”
She got to her feet and helped Rakka up. Instead of lying down however, she sat placing a hand on her lap. Rakka cautiously rested her head against Reki's thighs. When she looked up, Reki had turned to the the window, watching the stars outside. “It would help even more if you…”
“If I what? I won't know how to make you feel better if you if you don't tell me.”
“Massaged my wings.”
In spite of her offering, they folded tight against her shoulders. Rakka suddenly wanted to make herself seem as small as possible. Turn into nothing and be forgotten so no one would remember that she'd made such an intimate request from somsone who'd been so kind to her.
What stopped her from retreating back into another several days of nothingness, was the pleasant sensation of experienced fingers disappearing into her feathers. Tickling the tiny veins that bordered her grey plumage. Her body was still sore all over but her wings slowly started to feel better.
“Is this good or would you prefer rough?”
“This is fine.”
The longer Reki continued, the more of Rakka's stress faded. Like her feathers were being preened of the grime weighing them down. Only these feathers didn't need to be cleaned. Not anymore. “They're beautiful again.” Reki noted. Dryly, almost sounding troubled.
Rakka stretched her right wing so it was closer. “Thank you! I almost didn't believe it.”
Face expressionless, Reki didn't utter a word, just kept massaging the bedridden Haibane's most delicate limbs. She moved on to the left.
“But I almost wish I'd stayed sinbound just a little longer.”
“Oh?” For some reason Reki's eyes almost seemed to light up at this.
Unsurprisingly, this quickly became surpressed under that same nuetral expression. This was getting exhausting. Rakka spread both wings, causing Reki to lose her grip. She met the older Haibane's gaze and stated in no uncertain terms, “Having you paint my feathers felt really nice.”
That wasn't even half of it. Even with only a few times having done it, the feeling of gentle hands fixing the ugliest part of her, a feature she shared with the woman standing behind her, felt so intimate. After she'd memorized the basics, maybe she could've start doing Reki's wings as well.
If they started now; with Rakka back to her old self, it would still be nice but it wouldn't be the same.
It would no longer be their mutual secret. No more would they be exploring the rot of each other's bodies, working to hide it from anyone who might judge them for it. Gone was the part of Rakka that she could only let Reki see.
She wouldn't scrutinize Rakka for it. That was a given. The sight of her feathers wilting right before her eyes made her stomach turn and yet, having gotten out of this before Reki made her feel even worse.
“Do you think I could get it back? If I did something horrible enough?”
Based on everything, Rakka was expected Reki would have to give it some thought. Instead, her response was immediate. “Don't even think about it.” warmth finally returning to her tone and a smile to her face, “This is for the best.”
Somehow Rakka could tell Reki meant it. Rakka wondered if she'd just imagined twinge of bitterness before. Or if she had really been the one it was directed at.
Of course Reki would be happy to see her back to her old self. Maybe Rakka just had some morning (or in her case late night) brain fog.
“You're not mad?”
Reki chuckled. Rakka beamed up at her. She felt embarrassed for even asking that. “Why would I be?”
Her hand made its way to the base of Rakka's left wing. The skin there was sensitive. Both her shoulder and wing twitched.
As convenient as it would for the sensation to overwhelm her emotions, Rakka couldn't hide the pinprick of distrust. It came just as involuntarily as the spasms of her wings and but was proving much more stubborn.
In what Rakka assumed was an attempt to clear up confusion but which only led to more, she leaned forward and closed her eyes. The kiss was brief.
It still left Rakka gasping. Finally her paranoia was quashed. She believed Reki. Or at least the prospect of doing so had been made to seem much more desirable than humoring the quiet voice in her head.
Reki was back to her old, nurturing self. Questioning things would only bring the mood down. “Now go back to sleep.”
She had to fight just to stay awake. Everything from the soft fabric of the dress offered as a pillow case, to the hands tending to her now folded wings was making that task seem impossible. “Reki,” she whispered. “Can you get me some water?”
Frustration welled up in Rakka as the fond laugh Reki let out made her realize she probably came off just as needy as the children that she routinely took care of. Her frown only made Reki laugh harder. The final stroke of her wing feathers made it hard for Rakka to keep a stern expression. The other hand squeezing her cheek made it impossible. “Sure thing.”
Rakka watched with exhaustion as that patronizing grin grew further away until Reki got out of bed and turned. She really wished it didn't make her blush as much as it did.
Light suddenly poured in from the doorway and then it didn't.
Rakka collapsed back onto one of the less comfortable pillows. She fought to keep her eyelids open even if her gaze wasn't fixated on anything as she awaited Reki's return. Worried that if they shut before before then, she'd somehow dissappear for good.