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Louis traced over the cuts, wrapping a bandage around Emil’s wrist firmly. There’s an awkward, tense silence that they are both afraid to break– more so on Emil’s side of the situation. He’s avoiding Louis’ gaze like his life practically depends on it, thankful for his out-grown hair, it hid Louis more.
Emil shaking as Louis placed the gauze over some part of his arm, his bed squeaking because of that. Yet, the rug was comfortable and soft underneath Louis, leading Emil to assume he at least had something underneath him. Emil hesitated to ask though, wanting him to focus completely at the task at hand.
“ Please stop trembling, Icy…” Louis mutters, seemingly somewhat annoyed yet (surprisingly) affectionate. Emil turns his head to look at him while he works on the wounds, he didn’t realise that Louis was right. He is trembling, body quivering slightly; a tad embarrassed, that he was not the one to realise such and try to stop it. That it had to have been Louis to point it out to make Emil much more aware of it all.
After all, it had been Emil to have done this to himself, he had grabbed a random sharp object and — well, it’s a blur after that. Was it out of a need for attention? Was Emil craving connection? He’s quite unsure, it was a rash decision. Barely thought it over.
“ … Err— Sorry. ” He stiffened up, the best he could do was listen to Louis, he kind of felt bad.
Louis chuckled softly, looking up to watch Emil’s eyes, “ You don’t need to be, Icy. ” He stood up, wrapping his arms around Emil, “ It’s alright. I forgive you either way. ” He speaks into his neck. Emil doesn’t reciprocate, it might be due to the bandages needing to be finished or it could be his general attitude towards Louis. He gently moves a hand up, from where it was resting on Emil’s mid arm, to intertwine it through Emil’s hair. Petting his head almost.
They stay like that for moments longer, Emil sighs frustratedly– wanting for Louis to just get on with it and finish up. He proceeds to attempt to push him off, failing miserably, then simply just allowing Louis to separate on his own terms. He feels uncomfortable, the ever-so familiar sting of the healing wounds becoming apparent as this scene drags on. It hurts badly, he’d usually scratch them impatiently– leading to them only reopening and becoming more of a mess to handle. But he can’t, not right now. Not when Louis is here, bandaging the cuts. Emil needs to repay the kindness, he feels as though he has to. Someday, at least.
Louis slowly removes himself from where he had been, comfortable in Emil’s neck. “ Sorry. ” He whispers half-heartedly, a soft chuckle (or would it be a giggle?) escaping him. He returns to how he had been before, kneeling on the floor as he continues to bandage Emil’s arm. Checking in sometimes, usually about if his work is too tight, or too loose. And, even if not ideal, Emil still responds to every single question. The unpleasant feeling is still present, but the tenderness is alleviating it slightly.
The man below Emil hums as he continues, a random song he had probably heard at one of those gatherings that the two of them attend— usually, at the behest of Louis. It’s not like Emil usually pays attention whenever he’s practically forced to come along with him, he much prefers the sanctity of his own home. Emils odd, in a way, he prefers the feeling of isolation and loneliness he usually gets from the emptiness of his house rather than the bustling energy of those business parties.
“ Hey…! ” Louis pouts, snapping Emil out of his thoughts. He sounds almost impatient, it kind of hurts Emil in a way that he hadn’t anticipated.
“ I— err, sorry… ” He looks down towards his lap, then back at Louis, then to a random part of his room. It still needed cleaning, he had destroyed it in a fit of despair? Emils unsure if he should call it that, yet that’s the word that best described his emotions— or what had built up from them. Emil’s breath quivering as his mind replays those events, it’s certainly not that bad, no reason for his current behaviour.
Emil doesn’t quite remember when Louis finishes up, he grounds himself to reality as he rises. Smiling ever so sweetly down at Emil, he has no energy to reciprocate — not like he would’ve in the first place.
“ Feel alright? ” Tenderness is laced in Louis’ voice, it’s different. Emils not quite sure how to respond, the words leave him.
It takes him a moment to gather those lost words, somewhat in a haze. “ It’s fine… ” He grumbles, the soft reminder that Louis was not asking about Emil but instead his wounds hurt. It hurts far worse than any scar he may leave on himself, it drives him mad— there’s no reason for that response but it still pains him all the same.
He shakes that thought away, “ It’s good, ” Emil restates, his tone lighter than before, possibly coming off as too harsh.
“ Thank you… ” He would usually manage a smile but he can’t; it’s like all of his muscles aren’t working up to form, not due to his actions. It wasn’t deep enough to affect him like that.
Louis takes a step back, allowing Emil the room to stretch and see if the bandages are a comfortable fit. It’s a wordless exchange but Emil does stretch and, although they do ache and sting, the wraps around his arms feel solidly in place. He sighs contently, placing his hands in his lap.
“ It’s no problem, really! ” Louis chirps, his cadence is off— Emil knows far too well about how his voice changes with hidden annoyance. It’s all too familiar for him, it is what he experiences daily, of course he’d know.
Emil did not realise that Louis had pulled his hands from where they were situated and held them tightly in his grasp, “ Icy, I– ” He paused, his eyes moving from where his met Emil’s, now darting around the room. Louis bit his inner cheek, obviously holding back words; there was no reason behind such, but it shook Emil to the core.
He felt his breath hitch and stutter, his heart becoming far more out of reach in him. This might sound morbid, but if Louis were to open up Emil in search of his heart currently… He would not find it, how deep it sunk at the restraint shown by Louis.
“ It’s fine. ” Emil hurried out, afraid of showing any sort of negativity on his face, “ I love you. ” It was quiet, he was not the type to profess his love first. Usually, Louis would admit such and Emil would return it.
Louis' face shifted, no longer tense, a small smile starting to form. A small chuckle escaping him, “ I love you too, Icy. ” He hummed, quite bashful in tone; he then brung his hands up to hold Emil’s face. Drawing circles with his thumb gently into the soft skin of his cheeks, seemingly comforting Emil. Or, rather, himself. Most likely the latter.
Yet, Emil was not comforted by such and although his body melted into the affection, he had not an ounce of happiness within him. Actually, that spark of joy was slowly fading each tender moment that he was keenly aware of his place in Louis life; which was incomparable to every businessman he's met and every salesman he’s ever pitched to. He wouldn’t let that show to Louis, or at least he’ll try his best not to.
They remained still for moments longer, each a little anxious to break away from the affection— that feeling being more so on Emil’s side rather than Louis. Emil had the urge to sigh, it was getting harder to breathe, but Louis might get the wrong idea and get all mopey. He didn’t want that. It’s already hard enough knowing how annoyed and quite literally done he is with his ‘schenanigans’, he doesn’t want to add more onto his plate, Emil is already enough to fill it all.
Louis slowly moved his hands to outline Emil’s jaw, chuckling softly as he did so. “ You’re so cute, I love you… ” He muttered, presumably to himself, yet Emil found himself looking up to meet his gaze. A part of him rejecting the obvious desire for more verbal affection, he dislikes such. Thus, he tries to ignore both sides the best he can— that obviously fails. But he doesn’t like to admit that.
Emil whispered a reply, but it was too quiet to be heard. He felt his eyes grow more droopy as Louis carried on with his affections, he, too, also whispering. Mainly soft, little, sweet nothings, things that Emil had no care for. They didn’t reach the heart, purely to add to the moment. Emil groaned, trying to signal to Louis to let him rest. But, as Louis always is, he didn’t pick up on such.
“ Hm? ” He sounded genuinely confused, unsure if Emil’s trying to get something more out of him— “ What’s wrong? Do they still hurt? ”
Ah, yes. Louis believes it’s about the wounds, of course he would. Emil weakly shook his head, “ No… ‘M tired… ” He murmured, nuzzling into Louis’ hands as they drifted back up to cup his face in them. That sparked a small realisation in Louis, he chuckled awkwardly and pushed Emil onto the bed with little struggle.
Louis lay on top of Emil, removing a hand to gently stroke his hair, it was one of his features that Louis loved a lot.
“ Sleep then… Look, you’re in bed, right? ” The words were mocking, but he sounded so genuine, Emil couldn’t take it. He lay awkwardly below, so close to sleeping yet so awake at the same time. It drove him mad.
He nodded slowly, no energy left to speak, his eyes drifting away from Louis. Emil took a long breath, barely not passing as a sigh, and closed his eyes. Trying to sleep, but he stayed awake. He couldn’t sleep no matter how long he closed his eyes for — a little groan was made at the realisation.
Louis hummed, questioning, lowering his body down to rest on Emil. He intertwined their hands gently, moving his head to be situated in Emil’s neck. It flustered him, in a way, to feel Louis’ hot breath on his neck. Emil felt his body slowly relax under the pressure, they still stung but it was an afterthought. He didn’t mind it, he’s all too familiar with it, just simply grew accustomed to it.
They continued lying like that, it was not soon after that Louis faintly heard the soft snores from Emil that he realised that he fell asleep. He smiled to himself before moving his head to kiss Emil’s cheek as he rose from the bed, moving ever so gently to not disturb his sleep. Louis stood up, brushing himself off as he did so— he didn’t necessarily need to, their house is clean anyways. But he likes to do it.
He looked down to Emil, gazing at him tenderly— he really was beautiful, especially when he looks so peaceful…. Louis quickly brushed off that thought, walking out of the room quietly, closing the door behind himself.
A soft, “ Sweet dreams. ” Echoed throughout the room.