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it was finally the day, the day mochizuki honami would kill herself. this wasn't sudden; she'd thought about it for months and decided it was the best solution.
thought after thought tormented her every day: the guilt of not helping saki more in middle school, of not having resolved various discussions in class more quickly, of not being good enough for the band, and finally, of not being loved by anyone—despite her bandmates telling her that every now and then, honami never believed them, not out of spite but because she hated it, she really didn't want to hear that.
that day, the view from the rooftop of miyamasuzaka was breathtaking; such a shame to waste it like this. her steps were slow, just to try and stay calm.
"the moment has come, huh? i'll kinda miss being with them and playing drums tho, eating lunch together too, and—
wow. i'm so selfish even now, so i need to do it. that's what a selfish girl like me deserves "
she sat on the edge of the fence looking down at the floor until she heard the door swung open.
"honami...!?"
it was her. ichika, her best friend, who she'd had a crush on for years. it had to be her to see this of course. at that exact moment. did the world hate her that much?
the girl approached her immediately.
"if you're gonna jump, i'll jump with you, with a big smile on my face." she shouted .
"ichik–"
"you thought i'd stop you, right? don't take our friendship lightly!"
"i–please–" she was about to burst into tears. why why why.
"let's fall together, okay? holding hands like we were little, and maybe even make peace signs on the ground. that would be pretty fun, something saki would say"
her tone was so calm, peaceful; not fitting to the current situation. but for her, it was unbearable. she didn't want to be stopped, but ichika's words were driving her crazy.
maybe... it wasn't worth it? maybe she was loved? maybe... she had to live. her heart was beating so fast, maybe she feels it too.
"ichika... why? why are you saying these things? i've hurt all of you, i'm selfish and–"
"i just remembered! that producer we like is releasing a new song tomorrow! so how about we leave this whole thing for another day? i just know it's gonna be a bop!!!"
she said with a smile, lending her hand.
honami took it and came down.
"of course, how could we miss it?" she said, shedding tears, with a melancholic look on her face.
holding hands, they sat down in a corner, close, shoulders touching.
"in the next world were we meet in, i hope we can be best friends like now, y'know ? mhmm what will we be reborn as i wonder... i know! you'll be... an apple pie! while i'll be a tire. what do you say?"
ichika whispered to the girl, with a certain lightheartedness.
"pff what are you even saying right now!!?? you're still the same old ichika, you haven't changed one bit have you?" honami said, laughing softly, with a smile. she hasn't smiled a lot recently.
"hey!! don't be a meanie!!!"
"sorry, sorry..."
they both burst out laughing.
"so... will you stay with me a little longer, honami?"
"yes. i promise.for you especially." she tightened the grip.