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“Of course he came here today.” Logan thought grimly. Once upon a time Avengers Tower had been one of his least favorite places in the whole world, Stark was a world class dick on his best days and a tacking time bomb on his worst, and he had far too much history with Steve to ever be anything more than “work-collegues”. While the rest of the team weren’t that bad, they also weren’t his favorite either. He already had a team, (or twenty as it felt like sometimes) he didn’t need another. But over time, after all the missions here, all the brushes with death that he and his teammates had survived together, his prickly exterior seemed to lighten up a little.
Logan found himself laughing at the web-slingers jokes, taking time to babysit Luke and Jess’s kid(what was its name again?), take part in a mock archery tournament with Hawkeye, and even drink Stark under the table a few times. Which might not sound like much but it was a surprisingly difficult task. There was only one part of spending time here that Logan couldn’t get used to, and probably never would.
Him. The Black Panther of Wakanda. T’Challa.
Logan knew he was here at the Tower. He had heard the jet engine touch down, even the secret stealth kind that the Wakandans have aren’t safe from his ears. He also smelled him a few floors up. In the Panther’s last few visits here, the two men shaped animals had just avoided each other. Like two beasts comfortable in their own territory and unwilling to see who would survive the final bout.
However that wouldn’t be the case. Not with what today was. Because today was the Worst Day. The horrible day. The day that was so awful that he had to leave the X-Mansion and come here because everyone knew what this date meant to him and resolved to treat him with kid gloves. For the safety of everyone involved Logan had come here to the Tower with two six packs of beer and resolved to lock himself in his room for the safety of everyone else.
In the mood he was in, he was likely to gut someone like a fish for even looking at him the wrong way. Lord only knows what he would do to Parker if the wall crawler started running his mouth.
But now…now he is here. Now Logan, who had been itching for a fight all damn day, finally had someone who would give it to him. Not only someone who could give it to him, but would also be able to survive the experience.
Without even pausing to think, The Wolverine flung open the door and stalked towards the lab.
***
“Controlled.”
Once, T’Challa had asked his wife Ororo(later ex-wife) how she would describe him given the chance, and that is the word she had used. “Controlled”. At the time, T’Challa had accepted it as a compliment and moved on, and the husband and wife spoke of it no more. However throughout their marriage T’Challa would come back to that response, wondering if it was a compliment or an expression of her deepest feelings of anger towards him.
Whenever T’challa made a wise ruling when acting as the King of Wakanda, Ororo used to squeeze his hand and smile at him. In those moments he felt that “controlled” was a good thing. He had acted as he was raised to. Tunnel within, block out his feelings and only do what was just. There was another occasion when T’Challa captured a serial killer that had been plaguing his nation, and brought him into the throne room for judgment. T’Challa had looked down at the man and with pitiless eyes had ordered the criminal's execution without a second thought. As he had done with many other
criminals over the years. The look that Ororo gave him in those moments made T’Challa feel as if “controlled” was not a compliment at all, and that she would never understand that a King’s justice was not always kind.
However the worst occasion was one the last day of their marriage. Whenever Ororo informed him that she wished to end things between them, he made no move to stop her. He did not give voice to his passionate objections, he did not rage and scream and beg her to stay like the animal in him demanded. Instead T’Challa responded with all the grace and dignity of a king and watched her walk away from him forever.
Back to the X-Men, back to her old life, and back to…
Him.
T’Challa smelled him as soon as the plane touched down. While his senses weren’t as advanced as the ruffian’s, he was more than capable of smelling the overpowering stench of alcohol from three floors up. How such an amazing woman could have ever been allowed to even be in the same room as…
No.
He was better than that.
He was not like him.
For better or worse T’Challa was controlled. Steady. Tempered. He came to Avenger's Tower to do a job, and he would not be sidetracked by that idiot.
However it seemed that the idiot in question had other plans. Because as the day went on T’Challa could feel him getting closer and closer. Until the automatic doors to the lab opened up and Logan was standing in the doorway.
“T’Challa.” Logan growled.
The animal inside T’Challa roared for blood, but despite the involuntary twitch of his eyebrow he kept his composure. “Logan.” He growled back.
***
Logan paced the room like an animal, snarling and growling. His anger just barely simmered below the surface, claws itching to be popped so much that he was actually having to concentrate on keeping them sheathed. He couldn’t just go in guns-blazing. After all, he didn’t want to kill T’Challa. Not really. All he wanted was for T’Challa to try his absolute best to kill him, and to accomplish that he would have to be smart. If he went in like an animal he would be restrained like one. But if he could get T’Challa to snap then maybe…
“Ororo says hi.” Logan grunted.
T’Challa simply crossed his arms. His panther armor giving away nothing. “What do you want, Wolverine?”
“Oh so its “Wolverine” now is it?” Logan smiled. “So formal. Did you call Ororo “Storm” in bed?”
“I won’t fight you if that's what you’re after.” T’Challa said coolly. Once again, the Panther gave away nothing. “I know what today is.”
Involuntarily, the tip of Wolverine’s claws started poking through his skin, but he stopped them there. Planting his foot on the ground he forced his claws back up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He replied, still smiling. For good measure he fished a cigar out of his pocket and lit it. “I’m just here to have a talk with a friend.”
“We’re not friends.” T’Challa snapped
“Really? Well what else do you call it whenever two guys have bagged the same woman?”
T’Challa’s shoulders tensed up and he clenched his fist. “Logan I know my opinion of you is not exactly private, but even I know you have too much respect for Ororo to ever refer to her in such a manner.” He stopped to take a breath, trying in vain to restrain himself. “My acknowledgment of today’s date was not a challenge. If you need someone to talk to…I suppose I would be happy to do so.”
“You keep mentioning the date.” The mutant scratched his head. “Like it changes anything, or has an effect on the conversation we are having. We’ev known each other for a long time Challa. Don’t you just want to talk?”
“What do you want to talk about Logan?” The King said diplomatically.
Logan narrowed his eyes and began pacing the room again. His animal senses picking up that the Panther’s heart rate just picked up. Good. “You know, I’be lying if I said I hadn’t wanted to talk with ya for a while now. You see I’ve had a question I’ve wanted to ask you for a few years. One of the times before Ororo and I got together again, after her divorce with you was finalized, she told me that you had a request for her.” Logan stopped and blew a puff of smoke from his cigarette. “Do you remember what that request was?”
T’Challa said nothing.
“You said, and I quote,” Logan continued. “Not him. Anyone but him”. Then because Ororo is a stubborn old bird, she immediately started dating me. Which I have to assume was the one thing you asked her not to do.” Logan walked up to him until he was standing in front of him. Even though Logan was a few inches shorter than T’Challa, he still arrogantly looked the king dead in the eyes. “So what's the problem Challa? Do you have a problem with little old me?”
T’Challa weighed his words carefully. “The love of my life just started living her own life, independent from me. Do you think I would have been happy that she moved on so quickly? Do you really think
I would have been happy that she pursued a relationship with anyone?”
“There is a reason why Ororo is called a goddess of the weather Challa.” Logan shook his head. “And its not just because of her mutation. The woman goes where she wants, when she wants. Her tides are always moving and her winds are always blowing. Neither one of us could hold her down for long even if we wanted to. That's why she got bored of me and moved on after a couple of months.”
With a shrug he added. “No shame in it. Just just how it is.”
T’Challa blinked quickly. Surprised by such an insightful response. Taking another breath he sighed. If Logan could be mature then so could he.“I said what I said back then because…you inadvertently touched on an insecurity of mine.”
“Say no more my friend I understand completely.” Smiling, he popped his claws and examined them. “I have the bigger set of claws in more ways than one don’t I?”
Ignoring him, T’Challa continued. Wolverine would take his complement and he would like it. “I have often wondered where I would be if I was not born to be king. What kind of man I would be. There
are some days…” The Black Panther thought of all the lives that he has taken in service to his country. An uncountable number of faces flashed before his eyes. “When the full weight of the decisions that I have made come crashing down on me, I think that I would not be a very good man at all. That I am only a good man because I was raised to be one. Where as you-”
“I am the worst of the fucking worst T’Challa.” Logan said immediately. All bluster from his voice was gone as was his disrespectful behavior. He spat the cigarette out of his mouth and looked at T’Challa with concern in his eyes. “There is a special place in hell for me because of the things that I’ve done. All the lives I’ve destroyed, all the people I’ve hurt. Nothing that you have done could hold a candle to me at my worst.”
“But how many of those actions were your choice Logan?” T’Challa countered. “While it is true that we both live lives that most men could only dream of, you also lived a life of nothing but waking nightmares. You were forged into a weapon. You had your very humanity stripped from you, all that you love and hold dear was destroyed, often before your very eyes, and yet you still fought your way back to redemption. If I was in your shoes I would not have had the strength.”
“Yes you would have.” Logan rolled his eyes.
“How do you know?” T’Challa demanded. “How can you be so sure?”
“Because nature isn’t everything.” Logan said simply. His tone left no room for debate. “ It's not, I don’t care what anyone says. Back in the bad old days I might not have been absolutely evil, but I was still a mean SOB in every way that counts. Yet for some reason that escapes me, I have always had people who pulled me back from the brink. Every single time.” Logan thought of all the incredible friends that he had made throughout his very long life. At every stage, no matter how bad things were, he always had someone who believed in him. While things could be bad, that always made it a little bit better.
“But back to your dumbass argument. If I am really everything you say I am, and I must maintain that I’m not, then I am proof that a person’s nature can be overcome. Even the nastiest piece of shit to ever walk the earth can be redeemed if they work at it enough.” The Wolverine ran his hand over his face and sighed. “Listen Bub, I’m sorry your doubting yourself or whatever is going on. But everything bad you’ve done, was done for the cause right? You did it for Wakanda, right?.”
Slowly T’Challa nodded.
“Then that means you didn’t do it for yourself.” Logan pressed. “You did it because you had to. Because it needed doing. Is Cap a bad guy because he killed some Nazi back in the big one? Is Thor a bad guy because he takes out some Frost Giants? No. Because some things have to be done, and some ones gotta do it.”
“Speaking of the Nazis, I’m sure they had a very similar argument for why they did what they did.” T’Challa narrowed his eyes.
“There is a far cry between them and you.”
“Only because of the nation I was born in.”
“What do you want me to say T’Challa?” Logan shook his head. “That I know for a fact that you would be a good man in another life? Because I don’t and I don’t even understand why we’re talking about this or even worrying about it. You're a good man now! What else do you need to know?”
“Because thats not good enough!” T’Challa threw his hands in the air. “Its not, and I won’t pretend that it is. What does it matter that I am a good man, if that goodness comes down to things out of my
control? Lets say that my father, King T’Chaka, had decided to invade America in an effort to expand. I could have grown up to be your sworn enemy.”
“And if I had been born with wings instead of claws no one would even know who I am.” Logan retorted. “But that's not the hand we were dealt, so who cares?”
“I do. How can you not?”
“Because I’ve lived my whole life with the knowledge that I am not a good person and all that's made me do is try to be better!”
Just then the intercom buzzed and Tony Stark’s voice came through the speakers. “Uh, is everything ok in here?”
“Not now!” The two men yelled in unison, both instantly popping their claws.
When they were satisfied that Stark was no longer listening, they sheathed their blades and resumed the conversation.
“Knowing that you could be better…” Logan said slowly. “Gives you the motivation you need to be better. I don’t have any other way to explain it other than that. If you don’t like the type of person that you are…well you’re the only person who is forcing yourself to be that way.”
Turning away, Logan rolled his eyes. “How did we get here T’Challa? I came in here to pick a fight and here we are having a heart-to-heart.”
“You did not come in here to pick a fight.” T’Challa shook his head.
“Yes I did, even had a plan and everything.”
“No you did not.” T’Challa maintained. “If you had wanted a fight, you would have found one. I doubt that any man who wants a fight would spend so long trying to convince his possible opponent that he is a good man.”
“You don’t know that.” Logan crossed his arms. “I could have been luring you into a false sense of security.”
“You came here to talk.” T’Challa said. “You came here to talk to someone who would not try to give you sympathy, or be intimidated by your behavior. Because today is your birthday isn’t it? And you can’t stand to be alone on your birthday.”
At the word “birthday”, every muscle in Wolverine’s body tensed up and his claws immediately sprang out. Every year, on the same exact day, Victor Creed, Sabertooth, would hunt Wolverine down and try to destroy his life. Killing whoever he happened to be with at the time, and beating him to a pulp. Some years Wolverine won, while others, like the year Sabertooth killed his girlfriend Silverfox…he lost completely. The worst part was that as a dig towards Wolverine’s well known memory problems, Sabertooth always referred to this tradition as celebrating Logan’s “birthday”. Because how would Logan even know if it was or wasn't?
Due to the fact that both mutants are so long lived, this tradition went on for a very long time and left scars that run deep. Even now, with Sabertooth locked away in prison, Logan felt like a caged animal. Like at any second the other shoe would drop and he would have to fight his way out.
“How did you know?” Logan asked softly.
“Ororo told me.” T’Challa replied. “In case you were ever on the run in Wakanda and needed my help, I would know to protect you.”
“Never would have asked for your help.” Logan scoffed, but not out of pride. “Creed woulda just killed you too.”
“Further proof that you are a good man.” T’Challa nodded. “You would rather risk your own life than risk the lives of others.”
In response the mutant shook his head. “Ya know, something about you always stuck in my craw too. Here's a guy, with the same animal impulses I have, but he still has everything under control in a way that I could never dream of doing. It's amazing really. I don’t know how you do it.”
“Being in control is not always a good thing.” T’Challa said. “Sometimes I envy you, because there is never any doubt about what you feel.”
For a long time, Logan looked at him. Studying him much like an animal observes his prey. Then abruptly he said, “You still have a shot you know.”
“I beg your pardon?” T’Challa tilted his head.
“With Ororo.” Logan said. “Me and her…it was never going to work out. It was all just for fun, we both knew it wasn't serious. But she has never said a bad word about you, and thinks of you fondly.”
Becoming serious he grunted. “Now listen Bub, as one of her best friends I’m not saying to do anything unless you are absolutely serious that this is what you want, and I’m also not saying that she is kneeling by her bed praying for you to come and rescue her. I am just saying that if you still love her, and I think you do based on the way that your heart skips a beat whenever you say her name.” The mutant tapped his ears, “Then I think you should go to her and give it one last shot.”
The two men looked at each other for a second before T’Challa said. “Would you like a ride back to X-Mansion?”
Logan smiled. “You know, I just might.”
****
“Knock,knock, knock.”
Scott Summers rolled over in his bed and put on his visor. “Its the middle of the night!” He called towards the door. “If the Sentinels are attacking again, just tell them to make it quick, I’m too tired for this!”
“O come on now, fearless leader.” A gruff voice called from the other side. “Is that anyway to talk to the troops?”
“Logan?” Recognizing the voice, Scott rushed to the door and flung it open. “Logan, are you ok? What happened? We looked for you everywhere and you were just gone!”
“Easy Slim.” Logan held up his hands, revealing two six packs of beer. Nodding to Kurt and Hank behind him he continued. “Me and the boys were just going to have a few drinks and talk about the good old days and we were wondering if you would like to join us?”
Scott was barely able to hold back his smile. “I would love to.”
***
Even with all the battles he had endured, all the trials he had faced, nothing was ever more frightening to T’Challa than staring at the gorgeous woman in front of him.
“T’Challa…” Ororo began. Like Scott she had been dragged out of bed, but she was wide awake now. Your ex-husband showing up out of the blue to declare his undying love for you tends to wake people up. “Have you thought this through?”
“Not at all.” T’Challa conceded. “But…you will always be my queen, Ororo. If nothing else, I just want you to know that.”
Ororo smiled at him. “We can start by going for a walk and then seeing how things go from there. Can you live with that?”
T’Challa smiled brightly. “It would be an honor, my Queen.”