Chapter Text
shinyu is in his 3rd year at hogwarts and the quidditch team when dohoon becomes seeker.
he is in his 4th year when dohoon starts to become a problem.
he is in his 5th year when dohoon becomes captain.
and he is in his 6th year when everything starts crashing down.
shinyu is the seeker of gryffindor — the ‘main character’ house. not to mention his prince-like visual. and along with his newly appointed prefect role? that makes him the hogwarts it boy.
there is a catch though– isn't there always?
shinyu has to deal with slytherin's rising star kim dohoon, a nickname that hasn't made sense to shinyu for years because after 5 years there is no way dohoon can still be considered a rising star.
the boy is a year younger than him, and adorns the same golden crest shinyu does on his robes, strutting down the corridors like he owns it. a miracle, shinyu thinks, he isn't sure how dohoon manages to keep his head up with all that pride clinging onto him.
dohoon came in like a wrecking ball, literally. from the boom that was dohoon's impact when he first waltzed in as a first year, to crashing into anything and everything on the quidditch field.
he remembers the first time the great hall was bestowed with the eye-candy named kim dohoon. he remembers how he had the entire school whispering for the first few weeks — 'shinyu's mirror' — they called him.
sure, shinyu agreed, dohoon had the beauty of an arctic fox, much like how shinyu was nicknamed 'ice prince' in his 1st year. and sure, he was slytherin’s seeker, and later captain — again, much like junghwan. but he doesn't see how dohoon was his mirror, if not for their pretty faces and positions on the quidditch teams.
the whispers died down after some time, of course, but long lived the presence of kim dohoon.
weeks later, shinyu would be walking alongside his teammates to the quidditch field, and dohoon would be there. barely within his peripheral vision, peeking at him with wide eyes. the first time it happened, he brushed it off. weird, he thought. weird how his heart thumped a beat faster enough for him to notice himself.
during that same year, he'd be busy pruning his shrivelfig in herbology when he looked up and met eyes with kim dohoon through the greenhouse glass — who he realised had been staring at him as he walked by.
there's a list of things shinyu finds annoying about dohoon, most of which were compiled from things he noticed about dohoon over all these years. it's completely infuriating, really.
for starters, his eyes. he's always looking at shinyu with those eyes. shinyu thought it'd be over after ther few chance encounters in his second year. he was wrong. the first week into his third year — and dohoon's second — the news slapped him in the face (or at least, that was what it felt like)
kim dohoon, slytherin’s new seeker. hogwart's youngest seeker after shin junghwan took the title in his first year.
so no, it wasn't over, shinyu supposes it would never be when they were talking kim dohoon. now, he'd have to face dohoon during friendly matches, between after school training sessions when either of their houses were lined up the slot after the other's. and each time, dohoon looked at shinyu with the same gaze— and shinyu couldn't stand it. especially not the way his stomach fluttered uncomfortably each time he caught it.
and it wasn’t just his eyes. no, he always approached shinyu with a dragged out, “shiinyu-hyungg!” — shinyu doesn’t even remember allowing dohoon to use informal speech with him.
onto the next point, it isn't a wonder shinyu has gotten enough of kim dohoon, considering how fast his name travels when he does literally anything.
'i saw dohoon walking youngjae to divination today!'
'dohoon was tutoring hanjin this afternoon, he's so cute~'
shinyu swears on his nimbus 2001 that there isn't a waking moment where dohoon's name isn't breathing down his neck.
and more than that, actually having to witness it happen before him— it makes his stomach twist everytime.
he could be in the great hall — sitting opposite jihoon and kyungmin, the two engrossed in a game of wizards chess while he scrambled to finish his DADA essay, and down the next table would be kim dohoon and his personal fanclub.
"dohoon-oppa, you're so smart! can you teach me this concept too?"
shinyu always struggles with the temptation to roll his eyes at their comment (as well as the 50 other compliments they shower dohoon with— he isn’t sure how they haven’t run out of ideas after 5 years, the freshmen are truly another level of creative), resorting to a quiet scoff under his breath instead.
unbelievable, he thinks.
he wonders if others have felt this way about him — when he stepped foot onto the quidditch field for their match against hufflepuff in his 3rd year, and a storm of cheers erupted from the stands after the dead silence when hufflepuff’s team made their entrance. or when he was a 4th year receiving house points for answering the simplest question in madam jeong’s potions class.
it’s when he looks back onto memories like these that he realises the nickname ‘shinyu’s mirror’ makes more sense than he initially thought.
though, unlike dohoon, he doesn’t have a fanclub at his knees every other second, or, at least not anymore.
not ever since the incident that happened during the last term.
there had always been a forced rivalry between the two of them even before dohoon made the quidditch team. since the moment he hopped onto that chair during the sorting ceremony and gave the whole school the shock of the century with his ‘insane visual’ — (words said by han jihoon, not shinyu) , shinyu supposes.
it was the fight between the golden boy of gryffindor and the hotshot first year slytherin at the beginning — then shifted to the rivalry between the ace of gryffindor’s quidditch team and slytherin’s quidditch team’s new kid on the block. and it didn’t help that they both played seekers.
what people didn’t know was that while they were busy pushing this rivalry, the two boys were actually on good terms. kind of.
behind the eye squints and glares on the quidditch field, and the loud and teasing comments dohoon had learnt to make at shinyu, were shared moments between the two that were sure to knock the student population off their brooms.
whether it was the call of his name, loud and clear, from across the great hall — what people thought was the beginning of another public squabble between the two, as dohoon shouted, “shin junghwan!” — only he would know that only those he let close enough didn’t call him shinyu.
another thing they definitely didn’t know was how their sharp glares softened to intent stares before each match, during the split second when they exit their respective changing rooms before hopping onto their brooms — or at least, shinyu’s did. the crowd doesn’t notice how they exchange a nod of acknowledgment before the whistle goes off either. they never do.
he remembers how in his 3rd year, when dohoon first made the team, they’d run into each other when slytherin booked the practice field the hour before gryffindor.
“seungkwan-ah!” slytherin’s captain shouted out at the gryffindor team, specifically boo seungkwan — gryffindor’s current captain at the time, a 5th year. “meet our new seeker.”
and out stepped dohoon, hiding behind slytherin’s own captain, yoon jeonghan.
shinyu glanced back and forth between the two quidditch captains, though his eyes landed right on kim dohoon who was already staring right at him with a cunning grin.
“junghwan-ah, let’s go!” he heard seungkwan call, but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t take his eyes off dohoon.
fortunately for him, the boy took the liberty of snapping him out of his starstruckness, whispering a quiet, “see you around next time, hyung.” into his ear, sending a shiver right down shinyu’s spine, before leaving with the rest of his team.
he didn’t score a single snitch that afternoon. seungkwan was angry.
“what’s wrong with you today, junghwan-ah?”
though, even after that, the biggest secret, shinyu thinks, one that no one knows, not even jihoon and kyungmin — or youngjae and hanjin, was how kim dohoon was actually his boyfriend.
he doesn’t remember exactly when it happened, but he knows he’s always felt some sort of way towards dohoon.
somewhere along the lingering disappointment when it’d been a few days too long without a public disturbance from the boy, to the outright pang of jealousy when a girl leaned too close to him during self-study in the great hall, he realised something.
a fact that weighed down on him, like cockroach clusters — deep in his stomach and hard to digest.
he liked kim dohoon.
more than a rival should. more than his silly antics around the school campus, or his clever jabs at shinyu. more than his pretty face and deep eyes. it was going to be a problem, he knew. he accepted that fact quicker than he did his feelings.
because how could it not be?
a 4th year, he was then. right when both he and dohoon were promoted to captains of their respective quidditch teams. yet, not even his growing pile of responsibilities could take his mind of dohoon. he was glowing, literally. on and off the field.
he started showing up to dohoon’s matches off schedule.
“they’re not even playing against any of your friends, why are you going?” kyungmin yelled after him as he threw on his coat and scarf, ignoring the younger’s pressing.
“hyung!” jihoon called, “you’re not even wearing the same colour pair of socks!”
he remembers that match clearly, though it wasn’t like it was the first of dohoon’s matches he was attending from the stands.
he had watched the match from the back corner of a busy quidditch stand that time, in a daze as his eyes traced dohoon’s flying figure across the pitch.
he doesn’t even realise when dohoon catches the snitch until the crowd around him is cheering, his eyes on dohoon only.
that is until, dohoon turns.
he’s feet above them all, showing off the snitch to the crowd as they chant his name back at him. shinyu doesn’t join them, though he celebrates the endless kim dohoon, kim dohoon! that resonates throughout the pitch in his heart, the smallest hint of pride and respect filling him whole.
then, he sees dohoon looking. perched on his broom still, he’s looking directly at shinyu’s stand — or rather, directly at shinyu. he has that classic kim dohoon smile on, but this time lacking the mischief it usually contains when facing him, and it makes the crowd go wild.
he mouths something that the fangirls think is for them, but for shinyu, it shoots straight past them and right into his heart.
he’s probably a red mess now, he thinks, his hands stuck mid-clap as he processes dohoon’s message.
‘thanks for coming today’
shinyu is positively glitching. he doesn’t know what to think. all he can focus on is the sight of slytherin’s golden seeker, and how he’s staring at him like he can see right through. he can’t think straight. all he knows is that he likes how it feels.
how it feels to be one out of hundreds beneath dohoon, but knowing he’s the only one that he’s looking at. the one who dohoon was mouthing at. the only one dohoon thanked for coming to watch him play.
he likes it a lot. and it’s dangerous. too dangerous.
that was the last time he went to watch dohoon play.
shinyu doesn’t take any chances after that.
he’s conveniently late every time gryffindor is booked for practice on the field after slytherin.
he dodges — no, completely avoids dohoon’s eyes before each game. during games, even. what’s funny is that since making that change, seungkwan’s praises seem to never stop coming. he breathes a deep sigh of relief, so why does it hurt so much?
he stops studying in the great hall, resorting to the library instead.
“hyung, during self-study in the great hall today dohoon-sunbae suddenly barged in and shouted your name. i think he was looking for you, but it was so funny, you should have seen it!” kyungmin had told him.
“oh, and just now – dohoon-sunbae came up to us to ask where you were.” jihoon had shared another time, “i accidentally said you were in the library … he didn’t give you trouble again did he?”
“don’t worry about it, jihoon-ah. he didn't.”
“huh? hyung, why do you sound sad about it–”
“– it’s nothing, kyungmin-ah.”
how could shinyu be disappointed? — when he was the one who pulled away first. if anything, he shouldn’t be allowed to feel anything. he’s lucky enough that dohoon even cared to search for shinyu’s whereabouts, and clearly took the hint that shinyu didn’t want to see him. so, why does he feel worse?
he swallows the unease that’s threatening to spill out his throat, choosing to stay silent.
and silent he stays.
life continues at hogwarts.
it’s late december, and jihoon had just finished pigging out in the great hall — the meals seem to be building up in grandeur leading to the night of the christmas feast.
they’re all in the gryffindor common room — all except shinyu, who is sitting on his bed in the empty dormitory — he hears kyungmin shouting from down the stairs, followed by echoes of laughter. he’s probably being teased by the others again, he thinks, fondly.
it’s chilly, even inside the comfort of the gryffindor common room with the fireplace now burning into the later hours of the night.
shinyu looks out the window nearest to his bed. it’s snowing again, he realises, and his mind wanders to how he needs to remind jihoon to wear his scarf before leaving the dorm or he’ll forget to bring it with him at all.
“hyung!” kyungmin exclaims, suddenly, peeping out from the staircase leading down to the common area, “my new gloves from my mom just arrived, do they look nice?”
“mm, they’re nice, kyungmin-ah,” he hums, with a soft smile, “they look cute on you.”
dohoon’s been wearing gloves these days too, shinyu recalls. he usually stuffs his hands into his pockets when the weather gets chilly, but he must have bought a pair or had one sent over. they’re similar to the ones kyungmin has too — cable knit and in a single shade. though, dohoon’s are dark grey, and kyungmin’s are red to match his uniform. dohoon’s been wearing a scarf too, something jihoon should start doing. dohoon takes his gloves off when coming back from hogsmeade, but keeps his scarf on. shinyu thinks he looks cute, like a wrapped-up hedgehog curling into itself. not that he’s been paying any more attention to dohoon than usual, though.
“oh, sorry.” kyungmin apologizes, probably noticing shinyu’s daze, “big day tomorrow, right?”
“big day for all of us,” jihoon shouts at kyungmin, suddenly appearing from the stairwell too.
“kyungmin-ah, maybe you should turn in soon too.” shinyu suggests.
right, the thing shinyu has been trying to avoid thinking about. it’s eating at him alive with every breath he takes.
gryffindor would be playing against slytherin to conclude the term, followed by the annual christmas feast later that night. no big deal, except shinyu’s been trying to fall asleep for hours and clearly to no avail — so he’s up later than he should be and the only thing on his mind is kim dohoon.
his mind races when he thinks about how he needs to play against him tomorrow.
the stakes are high, at least he knows that they are in gryffindor. it’s the first actual quidditch game of the year, no more friendly matches — not to mention how they’re against slytherin, as if the rivalry between the two seekers wasn’t already enough.
he wonders how he’ll be able to face dohoon. perhaps he won’t at all. who’s to stop him if he goes off the grid and completely misses the match?
but, it’s kyungmin’s first actual game in front of the whole school — and jihoon won’t be able to coach him alone (not that he doubts his vice-captain).
he ends up falling asleep to the thought of kim dohoon again, and dreams of running far away. far away from kim dohoon and his feelings. far away from the quidditch match that's coming far too near.
when shinyu wakes up, it’s to the taste of regret in his mouth. it seems that every time dohoon occupies his mind before bed, he always ends up with a worse case of bed-head.
the wind slaps him hard in the face the moment he steps out the gryffindor quarters.
he doesn’t even remember slipping into his quidditch uniform — nor does he remember walking to the great hall for breakfast, but he’s there anyway.
“seungkwan-hyung says to meet at the changing rooms in 10 minutes” jihoon gives shinyu a hard slap on the back as he takes his seat behind him. “can’t believe he’s still mothering us, he isn’t even captain anymore…”
kyungmin is opposite them, busy stuffing his mouth with blueberry pancakes.
“hyung, aren’t you gonna eat?” kyungmin asks.
“yeah, i will… just tired…”
“more the reason to eat more! we’re against kim dohoon today!”
he ends up in the changing room with a barely full stomach. a singular blueberry pancake, and a half-full cup of juice. it’s definitely not enough, but anymore together with the thought of seeing kim dohoon on the pitch would be enough to regurgitate everything up.
jihoon sighed, “i told you to eat more earlier…”
“junghwan-ah, time to go!”
he sucks in a deep breath. he can do this.
the cheers envelop his entire being the moment he steps foot into the pitch. he’s heard the same cheering hundreds of times, yet it never fails to blow him away each time.
it’s loud — deafening, even. so much so that he almost misses the whistle and is thrown off immediately by a bludger headed straight at him.
shinyu doesn’t remember what happens in between — the experience a blur between the feeling when you drop on a rollercoaster and a hint of exhilaration.
it’s by some miracle that he even ended up with the snitch clasped between his fingers at the end of the day, let alone making it through the game without passing out.
though, shinyu collapses the second he steps out the field.
when he wakes up, he’s tucked in his bed. he’s alone in the sleeping quarters but there’s light leaking in from down the stairwell into the common room. the sight is so familiar, he’s afraid he’s gone back in time.
he peels back his comforter and slips on the nearest pair of slippers — he’s wearing one of jihoon’s ugly christmas sweaters and his favourite leopard print pants, he realises — so no, not time travelling.
when he quietly slips down the stairwell, he almost gets whiplash.
not from the fact the gryffindor common room has been decked out with new christmas decorations overnight, nor from how jihoon is belting mariah carey for the crowd.
the first thing his eyes land on is kyungmin, but it’s who is standing behind him that catches his eye.
“junghwan-hyung,” the figure calls out. his eyes must still be bleary from sleep, he thinks, no, no, it can’t be.
he isn’t able to make out the owner’s face, but he doesn’t need to to know who it is. he can recognize this feeling anywhere, the feeling that only kim dohoon can bring out — the same feeling he felt that day on the quidditch field.
“d-dohoon..?” he stutters.
suddenly, he’s being dragged away, dohoon grabbing him by his wrists and leading him to the study nook — which so happened to be the only part of the common room that hadn’t been a victim of what seemed to be jihoon’s idea of a ‘christmas party’.
once dohoon finally pauses, shinyu snatches his hand back almost immediately, “what are you doing?” he hisses.
“it’s your after-party, don't you like it?” dohoon smirks.
shinyu’s eyes dart between dohoon’s, the carpet, the door that’s the only thing between them and the crowd of students, then back to dohoon again, he opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out.
“...look,” dohoon starts, “if i did something then just say it to my face.”
“what?”
“come on, don’t tell me you’ve been avoiding me by accident.” dohoon says, playfully — and it just makes shinyu snap.
his eyebrows furrow on instinct, and his heart is pounding. he doesn’t even know if this is real, it’s not like he can’t count on his brain to produce a fictional piece of dohoon.
his heart stings with a mix of frustration, anxiety, but most of all, longing — the same kind of longing you feel when you’re on the flight home from a nice vacation, or when it’s been too long since you’ve had your grandma’s special apple crumble.
it’s feels too real — too sincere. it’s too much, like how it’s always felt when it comes to dohoon. absence makes the heart grow fonder, or whatever bullshit.
“is this a joke to you?” he snaps.
now, dohoon is the one who’s taken aback. the playful glint in his eyes reduced to none in a second, and the boy before him looks too much like the dohoon he pictured asking jihoon where he’d been going.
“because that’s how it feels like.” shinyu huffs, chest tightening, “friends don’t act like we do. but we aren’t really friends, are we, dohoon?
... besides i’d appreciate it if you'd lay off on your comments if all you plan on doing is leading me on.”
the last bit tumbles out his mouth without thinking and he realises his mistake instantly —
“excuse me—” he stammers, pushing past dohoon. his cheeks are burning, he feels humiliated. suddenly his breakfast (or lack thereof) catches up, and his head is throbbing as hard as his heart is.
“wait, junghwan-hyung!”
dohoon snatches his hand, spinning him back around to face him — literally grounding shinyu to him.
he’s staring right into dohoon like this, and dohoon is looking right back at him.
“you’re right,” he says, “friends don’t act like how we do, and we aren’t really friends.
but, you’re wrong too. i don’t want to be your friend,”
dohoon shifts slightly in front of him, and it’s only then shinyu realises how nervous he looks. he glances down to his wrist that dohoon is holding so tightly onto, then back to his pretty face which has tensed up, the other’s eyebrows bunched together.
“hyung, i want to be yours.
and i think you want to be mine too.”
he doesn't know who leans in first but he wouldn’t be surprised if it were him.
his eyes are blown wide at the other’s confession, but he can feel dohoon’s breath on his cheek and his eyes flutter shut like it’s second nature.
when his lips meet dohoon’s for the first time, it’s soft, it’s warm — it’s nothing like the rivalry people made up between them.
he feels dohoon lean in closer, and shinyu follows suit, chasing the sweetness that is kim dohoon.
he let’s dohoon bring his arms up to rest on his shoulders as he carefully slides his to hold the younger’s hips in place.
it’s completely clumsy yet all consuming — the weeks of push and pull melting away with a simple brush of the lips as shinyu lets himself go.
ultimately, it’s dohoon who pulls back first, shinyu reacts immediately — his eyes flying open at the loss of contact.
they’re still stuck together — shinyu’s hands settled on dohoon and dohoon’s on shinyu.
dohoon looks like a mess. his eyes are glossy — his hair another story of it’s own — and he’s panting for air. yet, he keeps his eyes on shinyu the entire time.
“hyung,” he calls out between breaths, “i like you, do you like me too?”
his voice holds no trace of the nervousness it did before, he only smiles at shinyu softly.
“i like you a lot, dohoon-ah.” this time, he reciprocates the younger boy’s smile freely.
“okay, be my boyfriend?” dohoon asks, moving one of his arms down to tug at shinyu’s hands.
“i’ll have you if you’ll have me,” he whispers, leaning into dohoon’s ear, admiring the way dohoon smirks smugly from the corner of his eye.
when dohoon leads them out of the room and back to the common area, shinyu doesn’t hesitate to lace his hand into dohoon’s, tracing patterns against his fingers.
“and just for the record,” dohoon says, “i don't plan on leading you on. i only plan on leading you to me.”
—