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Johnny English Christmas Stories

Summary:

A collection of short stories about the Johnny English cast celebrating Christmas! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1: The Case Of The Christmas Lights

Summary:

Kate wants to decorate MI7, but will Johnny let her do it without any issues?
!DISCLAIMER!: This chapter is NOT about Kamela (Kate x Pegasus), I simply wanted to write about their friendship since most friendships don’t really get written about/only get written about as ships. Thank you!

Chapter Text

“Where do you think Pegasus will want these lights, Kate?” Johnny asked as he walked outside of MI7 with a cardboard box of lights in his arms, huffing and puffing.

“Hmm,” Kate said, pulling her coat close to her chest as the snow flakes glided past her face, “um, she’ll probably want them in the centre of the building.”

“Alright,” Johnny said with a nod, before rushing to put up the lights.

“But Johnny!” Kate called, the cold air biting at her nose as she breathed it in. “Please don’t put them up by yourself! I’m sure Tucker and Bough can help you!”

“Nonsense,” Johnny said with a laugh and a smile, “they would only slow down my genius ideas.”

Kate rolled her eyes and giggled. As soon as she had giggled, however, a slight panic gripped her stomach as her eyes lingered on Johnny climbing up the ladder Christmas lights in hand.

Oh dear, she thought, where on earth are Tucker and Bough? They were supposed to help with this! And I wish the other agents weren’t all busy on missions, I could have done with some of their help as well.

“Johnny!” She called again, her tone spiked with fear like icicles. “Please don’t do that!”

While Johnny was hanging up the first string of lights, Bough and Tucker walked out of MI7, each carrying another cardboard box.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Kate said, as they placed the boxes on the snow, “for a moment there, I thought Johnny was going to do something stu—oh!”

Just as Kate had said this, the cardboard box of lights, slipped out of Johnny’s hands and landed right on Bough’s head, causing him to fall over in the snow and cry out in pain.

“Bough!” Tucker called. “Are you okay?”

Both him and Kate ran over to where Bough was lying, his skin tinted red from the cold, and a bruise forming on his forehead.

“Oh no,” Kate said, “I’m sorry Bough, I did try to warn Johnny.”

“It’s alright,” he said, “at least the lights are alright.”

He pointed up to where Johnny stood on the ladder, still hanging up the lights as if he hadn’t noticed.

“Come on, Sir,” Tucker called to Johnny as he hung up the lights, “aren’t you going to at least apologise to him?”

“If you ask me, Tucker,” Johnny said, “he was in the way. As an agent one must know how to predict when random obstacles will fall on them. It was a demonstration exercise of the abilities that he clearly lacks.”

“Unbelievable,” Tucker said sighing, and he and Kate began to pull Bough up and out of the snow.

“Right,” Kate said, “we have to get these lights finished before Pegasus sees. I was hoping for it to be a surprise for her.”

“Let’s get started, then,” said Bough, forcing a smile, as he wiped the snow off of his suit, “I’ll take this box and hang the lights up on that side.”

“Alright,” said Kate, “I’ll take this box and go the other side. Tucker, you go help Johnny and make sure he doesn’t mess anything else up.”

“Of course,” he said, rushing over to where Johnny was hanging up the lights.

That solves that problem, Kate thought, picking up her box of lights.

“Right,” Kate mused to herself, “how shall I put these up…Oh! That looks good Bough!”

Kate turned to see that Bough’s side of the building was beginning to sparkle with a yellowish gold that reflected like glittering stars in the snow.

“Thank you!” He said. “I still have some more to add, though.”

“Keep up the good work!” Kate said with a smile, before turning around and letting silver lights spill out of the box and into her hands.

As Kate began to hang up the lights in strings like silver icicles, she hummed a few Christmas songs to herself and let the snowflakes fall into her hair and blow by. She smiled.

“I think this is looking good!” She called to the others. “I wonder if—ah!”

Just as she was saying this, a pile of cold, wet, icy snow smacked her on the back of the head, pulling her out of her Christmas trance.

“Hey!” She yelled. “Which one of you threw that at me?!”

“It wasn’t me,” said Johnny, not even turning to face her.

“It was,” said Tucker, rolling his eyes.

“Well, I didn’t see it,” said Bough.

“Alright,” Kate said, her slight irritation spilling out in her words, “just please don’t do it again.”

As soon as Kate had turned around and began to continue with her lights, another snowball smacked against the glass window next to her. She spun around, irritation began to simmer slowly inside of her.

“Seriously,” she said, her tone still calm, “please stop it.”

“It was definitely not me,” Johnny said.

“But it was!” Tucker said.

“No, it wasn’t.”

Tucker placed his hand in the snow and pulled some out, rolling it into a ball and throwing it at Johnny who cried out.

“There,” Tucker said, with a slight smile, “see how you like it.”

“That wasn’t nice,” Bough said, as Johnny wiped the snow off of his back. “I mean, maybe—ah!”

Johnny hurled a snowball in Bough’s direction, which hit him right in the face.

“Ow! What was that for Johnny?!”

“It was meant for Tucker.”

Johnny turned around, and Bough hurled a snowball at him, the snow dripping down his back.

“Hey!” Johnny Exclaimed. “Who did that? Was it you Tucker?!”

Before Tucker could say anything, there was a snowball in his face.

Kate groaned slightly and put the remaining Christmas lights.

“Look,” she said, as snowballs began to fly in every direction, along with Tucker, Bough, and Johnny running and ducking as they flew by, “if we don’t stop this now, we won’t have time to finish the lights for Pegasus.”

“I’m sorry, Kate!” Bough said, sliding away from a snowball. “I’m trying to stop myself from being hit!”

“That’s because you just haven’t got the agility, Bough,” Johnny said, as a snowball from Tucker hit him right in the face, causing him to falling into a tree.

Kate laughed.

“Alright, Johnny,” she said, “seriously, though, please just stop messing about. I really wanted to do this nice thing for Pegasus, and I’m sure you all do, too!”

“Heeelllppp!” Bough screamed, as Johnny shoved a snowball in his face, as if Kate hadn’t said anything.

Kate winced, her blood beginning to boil.

“Would you three just listen, please,” she said, folding her arms.

“You won’t get away with hitting me, Bough,” Johnny yelled as Bough ran.

“I said, please listen,” Kate said, gritting her teeth, “this isn’t funny anymore.”

Her words fell on death ears as her colleagues continued to run, scream, and throw snowballs.

Kate clenched her fists, her nails digging into her hands, anger beginning to boil inside of her.

“I said SHUT UP!” She suddenly yelled, her anger spilling out as if it were inside a bottle of Coca-Cola with mint.

Johnny, Bough, and Tucker all froze, their mouths as wide as their eyes. Johnny dropped a large snowball he was holding and it smashed against a tree, causing snow to fly everywhere.

“Kate!” Someone suddenly cried, their footsteps lightly crunching into the snow.

Kate almost clutched her stomach as her heart sank.

Pegasus, she thought.

Kate turned around to see Pegasus standing behind her, the snowball that Johnny had thrown crumbling on the tree next to her, and pieces of it scattered in Pegasus’ glossy dark brown hair like glitter in a snow globe.

“Pegasus,” Kate half gasped, “a-are you alright?”

“That snowball nearly hit me,” Pegasus said, narrowing her eyes.

She said the word snowball, Kate thought, as if she could hardly believe that’s all it was. No wonder. It was very large.

“I’m so sorry, Pegasus,” she said, “we were decorating MI7 for Christmas and Johnny started throwing snowballs at everyone, it escalated quickly, and I tried to tell them to stop but none of them would listen.”

Johnny, Bough, and Tucker stood there in silence, glancing over at each other and occasionally Kate.

“It’s not your fault, Kate,” Pegasus eventually said.

She then pointed to Johnny, Bough, and Tucker.

“You three, inside, now!”

They began to walk inside and Pegasus walked her to Kate.

“I’m really sorry,” Kate repeated, “I just wanted to do something nice for you…you know…seeing as you work so hard and all.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Kate.”

Pegasus began to dust the snow out of her hair with her hands.

“It’s a shame I can’t show it to you now,” Kate said, her tone crystallised with regret, “it was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Well it still looks beautiful.”

She paused.

“Incomplete beautiful, but beautiful nonetheless.”

As Pegasus said these words, she turned to face the glittering lights of the MI7 building, their myriad of colours dancing across the snow beneath them like rainbow fireflies.

“Thank you,” Kate said, Pegasus’ words lighting up her face with a smile, “you’re not normally this kind, I should know, I’ve known you for a while.”

“I wouldn’t call it kind,” Pegasus said frankly, though she turned to smile at Kate, “it’s just my honest opinion.”

“Thank you, anyway,” Kate said with a slight laugh, “I appreciate your honesty.”