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A light dust of pure white snow decorated Bird’s—currently—colorful house. The house was decorated in warm hues of red, gold, and green, signature Christmas colors. Soren was lounging around, probably devouring all his snacks currently. Meanwhile Bird was mourning the loss of his grayscale house while waiting for Gold and Len to arrive. Since it was the cold season, Bird was wearing a gray sweater with a black Christmas tree on it. Soren’s usually underdressed self was now wearing a light pink sweater with darker pink snowflakes on it, and fluffy booty shorts still. Eventually a knock on the door is heard, drawing Bird out of his spaced out haze. He got up, walking to the front door and opening it. He was met by a very excited magician, and princess whom he both got jumped on.
“HI BIRD!!” They shouted in unison.
Bird, flicking away imaginary stars from his head replied, “Heyyyy, and GIVE ME A WARNING NEXT TIME GOLLY.” He ended with a quip, the chat bubble spiking around to show the emotion he couldn’t pronounce, even though you could tell by looking at his face.
“Mmmmmm, you’ll be fine.” Gold shrugged off, walking into Bird’s house like she owned the place, dragging Len behind her.
“Hi Bird!!” Len shouted to the pale man as the pair walked to greet Soren. Bird yelled back a ‘Hey Len,’ as the other man passed by him. Now that everyone was here he began to set the table, immaculately placing tableware delicately on his table. Meanwhile Gold, Len, and Soren were probably gouging on whatever food they found in Bird’s kitchen. Speaking of food.. Bird hadn’t even cooked yet.
“I don’t get paid enough for this..” Bird huffed to himself, before walking into the kitchen. He was met with the sight of cereal, specifically Cap’n Crunch, all over the floor. “WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY CEREAL..” He shouted at the idiots in front of him while quietly mourning the fallen cereal. The trio in front of him squeaked out excuses before ultimately placing the blame on Soren.
“What’d I do..” Soren pouted, looking at Bird with pleading eyes.
“These kids bro.” Bird groaned, dragging his hands down his face, smearing his make-up in the process. “C’mon losers, WE are ordering food, ‘cuz I don’t get paid enough to cook for you FATTIES.”
“Can we get Canes?” Soren pondered out loud, almost drooling at the thought of Canes’ sauce.
“Ooooooo you’re right..” Bird pondered with Soren, both of them now drooling at the thought of Canes.
“I’ve never had Canes before.” Len admitted, breaking the pair out of their drooling haze as they both turned to stare at him. Len quivered in fear as the two stared him down like a pack of starved wolves, before Gold spoke up.
“I haven’t had any either,” The princess said, saving Len’s butt in the process. The magician groveled at Gold’s feet, thanking her for saving the poor man, meanwhile Bird and Soren were rolling their eyes while scrolling through Bird’s phone to make an order.
The food delivery eventually came, Bird opened the door with a smile, happily paying the delivery person and grabbing the food. He turned back around, walking towards the couch where the other three were all huddled together while watching movies.
“Ughhh GAY people.” Bird groaned, throwing one of the Canes boxes at Soren’s head.
“Owwww,” Soren whined, not before tearing into the box though. Bird tossed the rest of the boxes to Len and Gold before he himself sat down with them. The room was filled with the smell of canes sauce and buttered toast as everyone ate. The Polar Express was playing in the background, unattended to while everyone was stuffing their mouths. Soren finished first, his face covered in canes sauce, which he took an uncomfortable moment to lick off himself. Meanwhile, Bird, Gold, and Len exchanged unsettled glances.
“Sooooooo,” Gold started, “when we opening our presents? I ain’t come here to watch Soren freak off..”
Len nodded his head, turning his head away from a messy Soren to look at Gold. “Oooo, Gold I like yo way of thinkin.”
“Ughhhh you’re all fat, fine go grab your stuff from under the tree fatties.” Bird grumbled, his words sinking back into his signature black text box as he chewed. Meanwhile, Gold hustled over to the tall Christmas tree lounging in the corner of Bird’s living room, making no haste of snatching the gifts. While Bird finally finished his food, the trio was ready to rip into the presents. Bird gave them a thumbs up while swallowing the last of his bite. Len snatched up his gift first, throwing it at Bird. Bird, who was unluckily hit by the gift box glared at Len with a bloodthirsty look, mouthing silent words to the magician before clearing his throat and continuing.
Bird picked at the wrapping, tearing it off the small box. Taking off the lid of the box he was met with a small, cute teddybear. The bear’s fur was white, adorned in black polkadots, with a small black ribbon around its neck. His eyes widened in adoration of the cute bear, his face almost sparkling with glee… before he remembered he was being watched.
“Ok.. it’s cute I GUESS.” Bird grumbled, his face brushed with a light red in embarrassment for looking soft in front of these idiots. “Ugh, whatEVER, next present.” He growled out, delicately putting the bear back in the box before grabbing one of his own. He tossed the box to Soren, who was eager to rip the wrapping off. However, before he could destroy the box, Bird hit his hand away.
“Be gentle with it idiot!!” He scolded. If you looked closer at the box you could see holes in it, strange. It didn’t deter Soren though. He rolled his eyes, begrudgingly listening to Bird and gently took off the wrapping. He was met with a white box with a strange opening. He looked confused for a moment before continuing. He peeled the two lids from each other where he stared down into the box. There was a long moment of silence before out from the box emerged a small golden furred puppy. It yipped at the yellow man and Soren grabbed the small puppy. It eagerly crawled into his arms, licking his face.
“AWWWWWWWEEE,” Soren squealed at the cute pup before him. “I’ll call her Honey.” He sniffled, ruffling the puppy’s fur. Soren stroked the small dog’s fur as they moved on with the secret Santa gift giving. Soren handed Gold her gift, it was a medium sized box this time. Gold thoughtfully peeled off the wrapping, opening the box and pulling out a large dark blue cat plushie with soft yellow stars scattered around it.
“Awwwwwwww” Gold swooned at it. “It’s so… it’s so CUTE..” Gold twirled the cat around.
“I was lowkey expecting Soren to get everyone a different colored vibrator or something.” She coughed out. Bird and Len giggled a bit at the comment.
“Oo.. you’re right, I’ll do that next time!” Soren exclaimed, unfazed by the comment.
“Ok ok, next gift.” Bird added on. Gold nodded, handing a gift slightly smaller than Soren’s to Len. It was similar to a previous gift, small holes poked into the box. Len eyed it suspiciously before opening the box, the two sides falling apart. Len paused for a moment, gasping and letting out a small squeal of joy. The box tipped over from all the commotion, and out crawled a small rabbit. However, this one was different from all Len’s other rabbits. The rabbit was a red-orange color, along with a white ear with a blue clover on it. The other ear was red with a blue tip. It sniffed around the room, Len happily scooped it up, pressing a small kiss to the rabbit’s forehead.
“GOLD I LOVE IT.” Len yelled through happy sobs, before wrapping the princess in a tight hug.. until a voice interrupted.
“So, can we open the rest of the presents now?” Soren mumbled, bored.
“Ugh, I GUESS so.” Bird rolled his eyes. Soren wasted no time tearing beautiful wrapping paper off a gift box.
“Well damn bitch, you ain’t even say who it’s from?!” Gold scolded Soren, who stopped ripping the paper off.
“Oh um, it’s from Len..” Soren muttered back, embarrassed. Opening the box Soren gave a confused look before revealing a.. baby rattle? Strange gift, but it’s still a gift Bird supposed. “The fuck am I supposed to do with this hoe??” Soren spat at the magician, who was suddenly wearing a pleading look on his face.
“..Don’t you like it?” Len pleaded after a moment of silence. Soren stared at him, probably wondering whether he should rip the magician’s face off or suck it up. “Sooooo… next gift?” Len changed the topic, throwing a purple wrapped gift into Gold’s hand. The box was smaller in size, which made Gold give it a suspicious look, seeing the outcome of Soren’s gift.
“Len if you gave me something stupid, your ass is getting beat back to my damn planet.” She snarled at the man, who was suddenly VERY interested in his nails. After a short awkward moment, Gold opened it, picking up a solid gold watch from the box. “How did you afford this you broke bitch?!” Gold questioned, although grateful for the gift, she slipped the watch onto her wrist. Len looked around awkwardly, how he got a solid gold watch wasn’t something he was willing to say.
“Can you guys open my gifts next?” Soren giggled, looking at Len and Bird who sighed before grabbing 2 wrapped boxes. Bird went first, opening the gift box he was met with a black thong. Bird turned his glare to Soren who was smiling innocently.
“Remind why we’re friends again?..” Bird grumbled and sighed, shoving the thing back in its box to never be seen again.
“Uhmmm..” Soren pondered for a moment before continuing. “Well, it all started in sixth grade..”
“Ok shut up NERD.” Bird huffed at him. “Your turn Len.” Len, who had been watching awkwardly with Gold, hesitantly reached for his gift, slowly opening the box to reveal.. a slutty bunny costume, something you’d see in a strip club.
“…Why are WE friends again..?” He muttered, slowly dropping the costume back into its box. “Sooo, next gifts?” Len asked, moving on from Soren’s god awful gifts. Gold agreed with him, taking out her two boxes, handing them to Bird and Soren. Soren opened his gift first, revealing a soft and fuzzy sweater. It was a light blue color with white splotches around it. It was probably the most normal gift given that day. Soren thanked Gold before wrapping a forgotten Honey in it, who yipped at its sudden blanket. Bird went next, opening his gift and pulling out a pierce the veil vinyl.
“Y’know.. I don’t even listen to them that much but this is tuff as hell.” Bird said, imaginary tears filling his eyes. “Anyway, it’s time for my gifts.” He tossed the last two wrapped boxes at Gold and Len. Gold opening hers first, she pulled out a small golden star necklace, along with a purple ugly sweater for Christmas spirit. Bird giggles as she pulled out the Christmas sweater.
“I’m not even gonna ask about the damn sweater bro.” Gold sighed, clipping on the new necklace though. Len ripped open his gift next, he got a red Christmas sweater, and even better, MONEY!!
“It’s ok to be broke Len, heh.. don’t spend it all in one place.” Bird giggled at the magician. Len rolled his eyes but thanked Bird anyway, who began to sweep away all the wrapping paper that was thrown around his floor. Meanwhile the others got comfy on his couch. After a moment of cleaning Bird flicked the lights off, letting his TV illuminate the room as he joined the others on the couch. A few blankets were scattered around, covering everyone as they all splayed around, like a group cuddle session.
“Ugh MOVE fatass, your elbow is STABBING me!!” Bird growled out through his teeth to Soren.
“What, it isn’t mee.” Soren muttered, kicking his foot out at Bird.
“Ooo my bad gang, might be my elbow..” Len chuckled, adjusting his arm.
“You’re all FAT.” Gold hissed at the others as they all fell into a comfortable mess of limbs. The gentle bickering faded into background noise as some movie played on the TV. Marble stalked over to the group, finding a comfortable spot near Bird, although swatting at the small golden puppy that was sleeping near Soren. Len’s new bunny also joined, finding a warm spot between Marble and Honey, fading into sleep while the bickering died down so everyone could watch the movie.