Work Text:
It had been two hours since their arrival at the job site and yet the client had still yet to arrive. Those two hours had begun to pass slower and slower as Nero became more and more restless, itching for something to do. He’d quickly run dry of things to keep himself occupied after the first hour, and cleaning blue rose for what would be the fifth time now just wasn’t going to cut it.
He briefly thought about bugging one of the twins for a while. His options being limited to a now fast-asleep Dante or his Father, who was currently ‘scouting the surroundings’ (or whatever poor excuse he’d used to get out of the van) quickly erased that idea from his mind though.
“Ugh… when the hell is this guy gonna show face?!” Nero moaned, kicking the base of the jukebox and causing the record to skip. He was getting sick of hearing that same song playing and over again.
“Who cares?” Nico called from the front seat, taking a long drag of her cigarette before tapping the ashes out of the window. “As long as I get a cut of that fat check he promised us, I couldn’t give a rats ass about how late he wants to be.”
“Well I do!” He called back, dragging a hand through his hair. “This whole thing’s a waste of time. I could’ve finished six jobs by now, let alone whatever the hell kind of mess this guy wants cleaned up.”
“Ok ‘Mr Efficient’, if you’re so keen on putting yourself to work, how’s about fixing all of those beautiful new arms you broke on the last job?” Nico lifted herself from the driver seat, pushing past Nero to make her way toward the work desk in the back. “Oh wait, that’s my job ain’t it? cleanin’ up after your mess. Should be grateful that you’ve given me something to do I s’pose.” Now behind the desk, she slammed the workbench countertop into place behind her.
“Yeah right…” Nero slumped back into the sofa opposite a snoring Dante, sleeping with his legs crossed over the table and Dr Faust laid over his face, shielding his eyes from the evening light that poured into the van.
“Try takin’ a leaf outta his book.” Nico suggested. “Would be nice if you were able to knock yourself out as easily as Dante does every day. Maybe that’d shut you up for a little while.”
“Wish you’d shut up.” Nero mumbled
“What was that?”
“I said have you got anything else to do in this tin can besides talking your ass off?” He shouted back, picking up and skimming over a magazine that laid beside him on the sofa.
A screwdriver flew past his nose and lodged itself into the wall beside him. He snapped his head around to face Nico, glaring at her as she pouted at her poor aim.
“Dang it, so close. But yeah, jackass, I do have a little something. Passenger glove compartment. If you’re that bored, go fetch.”
Rolling his eyes and abandoning the magazine, Nero stood up from the sofa and walked to the front of the van, reaching over the passenger seat to open the glove compartment.
It didn’t take much force to pull the thing open, it looked like it had been smashed in several times and the handle was clinging on for dear life.
After a quick search through Nico’s various pieces of equipment and packs of cigarettes, he pulled out a small deck of cards.
The box was ancient, white cardboard was yellowing at the edges and the ornate black font of writing that covered the packaging was barely legible through years of wear and use.
“This it?” He called to the back of the van, waving the pack at Nico.
“Yup.” She responded, barely looking up from the devil breaker she was currently fixing. “Got it as a tip from Morrison the first time we met, said he used to use it all the time at this old bar Dante and a load of other mercenaries hung around back in the day. Pretty neat, huh?”
“This thing’s gotta be decades old…” He remarked, turning the box over in his hands.
“Still as usable as ever though, so don’t let looks be deceivin’.” Said Nico, still giving her full attention to the breaker.
Returning to the sofa, Nero flicked open the box to reveal a relatively decent looking set of cards. Despite the packaging being faded, the cards remained in mint condition, the vivid red of the hearts and diamonds appearing unbleached by age, unlike the box that they came in. Nero began to shuffle them, flicking and intertwining the cards between his hands, a neat trick that Credo had once taught him.
The only issue now was figuring out what to play.
His first thought was to play some kind of solo game like clock patience, but he immediately realised that he’d have to clear up a whole lot of junk that sat on the table to be able to lay the cards out, along with Dante’s legs.
Basically any single-player game of cards that he knew was impossible to play with the lack of space in the cluttered van. But…
“Arg… hey, what the hell?”
Nero lifted Dr Faust from Dante’s face, allowing the sun to catch him directly in the eyes. “Rise and shine old man. Wanna get your ass kicked at cards?”
Dante brought a gloved hand to his face to rub his eyes and stretched his mouth into a yawn as he spoke. “As long as it’s not poker.”
He slowly uncrossed his legs and returned them to the floor.
Nero grinned. This geezer had no idea what he was getting himself into. “Oh, no. This one takes a little more skill than just pretending you’re good at the game.”
He began to clear the table as Dante stretched his arms upward behind his head, interlocking his hands and cracking his knuckles as he did.
“Ever played solitaire?” Nero asked.
“Once or twice. Never really understood the appeal.” Dante watched intently as Nero began to lay out the cards in a strange fashion, one set arranged toward himself and the other toward Nero’s side of the table. “I prefer my card games with a little more action.”
“Well you’re in luck.” Nero split the remaining cards into two piles and placed one next to Dante’s arranged cards. “This one’s called speed.”
After briefly explaining the rules, the pair were ready to play.
“I won’t go easy on you.” Taunted Nero, a smirk already forming across his face.
“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, so don’t cry to hard when you loose.” Returned Dante, hand already hovering over the draw pile.
They locked eyes across the table, each man staring the other down in anticipation.
“Could you please have the decency not to wreck the place?” Shouted Nico, sensing the rising tension between the two. “I know how you guys get when you-“
“GO!”
The first cards were flipped with blinding speed, and they were off. Hands flew across the table, placing and picking up cards with rhythmic precision, with Nero being noticeably faster than his uncle.
The game was comically intense, with taunts and petty jabs flying across the table almost as fast as the cards. The pause at the end of each round was brief, with both players scooping up and relaying their cards as fast as possible, eager to begin the next.
The game carried on with undying pace for around eight minutes before Nero triumphantly slammed his hand down upon the empty pile on his right. “BOOM! Hell yeah!”
Dante slumped in defeat, putting his hands behind his head and leaning against the back of the seat. “Yup, that was well played, but ya definitely had an advantage there kid. Gimme a couple more rounds and I’ll be on a roll in no time.”
“Oh really?” Nero replied, already sweeping up and reshuffling the deck. “How many rounds would that take then? A hundred? Two hundred? A thousand?”
“One.” Dante retorted, usual cocky grin plastered across his face.
After a few more rounds and not a win in sight for Dante, the door to the van was slid open. Vergil passed through the entrance and into the van, swiftly closing it behind him as to not let the evening chill.
“Has there been any word from the client?” He asked, removing his coat and draping it over the passenger seat.
“Whole load of nothin’ here I’m afraid.” Answered Nico, still hard at work in the back, now finishing her tune up on Ebony and Ivory.
Vergil let out an agitated sigh before moving past Dante and Nero to the stove.
“Hey Vergil, you wanna give your bro a hand? You’re pretty good at this kinda game. Help me teach your kid a lesson or two.”
“Your loss is none of my concern, Dante.” Vergil replied coldly as he refilled the kettle and set it to boil. “As far as I am concerned, this seems to be an issue deriving from skill, of which, I’m sure, you lack.”
“Yeah, thought you’d say something like that.” Dante started to lay out his cards once again, itching for another game.
Vergil glanced at the two of them whilst brewing his tea, both intensely focused on their own card layouts. He’d never seen this kind of game before and the hold it seemed to have on the pair was incredibly strong.
“These two knuckleheads have been playing for hours now.” Nico now stood at Vergil’s shoulder, also watching Nero and Dante finish laying their cards. “I’ve never heard ‘em so psyched up outside of smashing demons to pieces.”
Vergil was certainly intrigued. He’d played cards with Dante when they were children, though the games that their father had taught them were not as complex as this. Vergil had always preferred traditional card games he’d learned that involved more strategy and critical thinking. On the other hand, Dante had wanted to play nothing but snap. Needless to say, they didn’t cards together often. He leaned against the stove top watching the duo play, sipping from his mug as he tried to understand the rules of this new game.
“I’ve got this all figured out now kid.” Dante was now down to just 5 cards, gripping them tightly to his chest as to prevent Nero from catching a glimpse of them.
“Oh yeah?” Nero placed his hand on the draw pile, a signal to begin the final round.
“Let’s see what you’ve got.”
Both flipped over their draw piles and Nero quickly began to lay almost half his cards onto the discard pile in the center of the table. Dante watched in anticipation, waiting for his moment to strike. More cards were placed. A five, a six, a five again, Four, three, two- and that was it. In the blink of an eye he had laid his ace, two kings, queen and jack, finally ridding himself of his cards.
His hand sprang to the empty draw pile, ready to embrace his victory when- SLAM! He found it lying atop one of Nero’s glowing spectral arms, already firmly placed atop the empty draw pile.
“Hey, that’s cheating!” Dante loudly exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger in Nero’s smug face.
“Never said anything about which arm you had to put down!” He laughed, crossing his human arms against his chest and leaning back in seat.
Dante made a loud groan before moving his hand from the table, Nero dismissing the arm as he did so.
“See what I mean Vergil?!” Dante turned to the man, gesturing toward Nero. “You gotta teach this one some manners.”
Nero summoned his arms once again, flipping Dante the bird with both.
Vergil chuckled. “Perhaps… if you are willing to learn.” He taunted, turning to Nero.
“Oh, it is so on.” Returned Nero, quickly pick up and reshuffling the cards that were strewn across the table.
Dante stood up from the chair and bowed dramatically toward Vergil, offering him the seat. “Avenge me, brother.” He placed the back of his hand to his forehead, pretending to feel faint. “For I am far too weak to stand a chance against this… master of the cards.”
“Only if my dear brother insists.” He scoffed, placing his tea on the counter and settling himself beside the table.
He watched carefully as Nero began to lay out his own deck before beginning to lay his own.
“Wanna go over the rules?”
“That won’t be necessary.” He replied, placing his hand on the draw pile. “I think I’ve seen enough.”
“Whatever you say pops.” Nero also placed his hand on his own draw pile, eyes now locked with his father’s matching steely blue gaze.
“In the red corner,” Began Nico as she strolled toward the table, putting on her best announcer voice. “we have Fortuna’s one and only demonic devil hunter, the two-time saviour of the world, NEROOOOO!”
Nero, concentration now broken, turned to face a cheering Nico, who was now waving her fist in the air in encouragement, holding a spanner to use as a makeshift microphone. He gave the imaginary crowd a little bow, ignoring Dante’s loud boos as he did so.
“And in the blue corner,” Said Dante, now leaning into Nico’s makeshift mic, “Sits the Demon king himself, repeat raiser of large structures and brother of the legendary and incredibly good looking Dante, VERGILLLL!”
Vergil shot Dante an icy glare before he was slapped twice across the back by his laughing twin, in what he assumed was supposed to be a mix of apology and encouragement.
“Players… are you ready?!”
Once again staring each other down, both nodded without breaking eye contact, hands poised over their respective draw piles.
“Three…two…one…GO!!”
What ensued could only be described as the most intense game of speed ever played. Both father and son’s hands moved at imperceptible speed, to the point where neither Nico nor Dante could tell whose hands were whose, let alone who was winning. Several times cards fell from the table only to be scooped up by either Nero or Vergil in a flash of blue.
It was clear both players were each using their own abilities to their advantage. Vergil was snapping time to a halt and releasing it for fractions of a second to perfectly place his cards atop the pile in the right order. Nero was now utilising both of his spectral arms along with his human ones, flipping cards with one pair and placing them with the other.
All taunting usual taunting had long since ceased as both players were fully fixated on the movement of the cards; no attention could be spared elsewhere.
Matching each-other’s skill dragged the game on for over ten minutes, leading both spectators to taking a seat on the sofa, with Dante fixing himself a can of beer and Nico resorting to scrolling through her phone out of boredom.
Just as it seemed like the game would never end, they came to a sudden standstill. Nero held just two cards in his hand and opposite him Vergil held his final three.
“That’s game, dad.” Said Nero, cracking his devil bringers’ knuckles and breaking the tense silence over the table. “If you wanna give up now, I wouldn’t blame ya.”
“Don’t get so cocky, Nero.” He responded. “This game is called speed, is it not? Therefore that is truly the only skill required here. Your small advantage is irrelevant.”
“Ladies, ladies, enough with the bickering.” Nico stood up and stood in front of the table, leaning between the two. “Let’s just get this over with. Ya need a countdown or what?”
“That won’t be necessary-“
“Yeah actually, Nico.” Nero interrupted, silencing Vergil’s response.
He turned to Nero, somewhat surprised at his son’s objection. “And why would that be? We’ve been perfectly capable of starting previous rounds ourselves. Or could it be that you have finally tired?”
“No, actually. Not tired at all. Just think it’d be more fair is all.” He replied.
“Hm. I suppose. Nicoletta, if you will.”
“I really gotta do everything around here, huh.” Nico positioned her hand between the two, palm facing Nero, ready to lift it to begin the final round.
“On three. One…two…THREE!”
As soon as the cards were turned, a blue light filled the van as the both of them entered their respective devil triggers. Nico stumbled backward due to the sheer force of the transformations, falling back into the sofa.
“Agh… the fuck are you two thinkin!?” She shouted, rubbing the back of her head where it had slammed into the glass behind the sofa.
As soon as the commotion had started, silence returned. Dante put his can on the floor and rose to his feet, ambling toward the table in curiosity. “So… who won?”
Cards had flown across the table, all abandoned in the struggle to reach the empty pile. Nero had both pairs of clawed hands atop each other, beneath Vergil’s own.
“Hah! Look at that. I guess speed doesn’t mean everything.” Nero’s distorted voice faded as he released his devil trigger, removing his hands from the table.
“I dunno Nero, wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Dante said pointing a thumb back toward where Nero’s hands had been.
“Wha- oh my god.”
Lo and behold, at the bottom of the pile of hands lay not Vergil’s claws, but his tail, wrapped around the table and slipped beneath the pile of hands. “I win.”
“Oh come on, THAT’S cheating.” Nero complained, waving a hand toward where the tail was currently vanishing as Vergil reseeded back to human form.
“Nope, think Verg got that one fair and square, right ref?” Dante asked a fuming Nico who was still nursing her head.
“I don’t give a damn. The next time you play this game, you play outside. Got it?” She ordered, pointing a finger at the three of them.
“Understood.”
“You’re the boss.”
“Fine…”
A knock sounded at the van door, interrupting any thought of a potential rematch.
“Whelp, looks like we’ve got work to do.” Nero rose from his seat and walked toward the door along with Vergil and Dante.
“Shall we settle this later?” Vergil suggested, grabbing Yamato from its place beside the door before straightening his coat.
Nero threw his own coat on and slung Red Queen over his shoulder. “Sure. I’m down to thrash you again, cause, to be clear, that was my win.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” Dante chipped in before opening the door.
