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Rei's mission is – well, perhaps simple isn't the right word for it. On paper, it's easy enough to boil down the premise: brewing the perfect cup of coffee. In practice, however, it's been a lot more of a headache than he could ever have predicted.
If he were doing it for himself, it would be no trouble at all; he knows how he likes his coffee. His intended target, however, is another story entirely, and if Rei thinks about what he's doing for too long, the headache turns to a full-blown migraine.
He tells himself it's for intel purposes – 'know your enemy' and all that, never mind that they're hardly enemies anymore – and maybe that was true, at first. But even he can't deny that this has gotten out of hand.
It's been two weeks. Fourteen days of this nonsense.
And, frankly, it's insulting that Akai Shuuichi still prefers that generic, canned stuff he's been drinking as long as Rei has known him over Rei's coffee, personally hand-crafted just for him.
He's not giving up, though; his resolve is stronger than ever. He will defeat that canned coffee. He will get Akai to stop by Poirot every day just for a cup. He just has to try harder, because apparently tracking down the exact beans used for Akai's precious canned coffee and grinding them by hand isn't enough.
Yesterday's attempt had just been embarrassing. He'd been outside, sweeping up and keeping the entrance neat and tidy, when, by what could only have been a stroke of luck, he spotted Okiya heading his way. At first, he thought Okiya might actually stop in of his own volition, but he'd only greeted Rei quickly, his usual pleasant, if a bit bland, smile in place, and continued on his way.
So Rei, who is certainly not desperate to succeed in his little project, had called out, "Ah, Okiya-san, if you're not too busy sometime today, would you mind taste-testing something for me?"
Okiya's smile had widened, ever so slightly, and Rei's heart did not race at the sight of it. "More coffee?" he asked, head titled in curiosity; Rei could almost see the gleam in those squinted eyes.
"If it's not too much trouble." Never mind that it has been too much trouble, for Rei specifically.
"Not at all. This afternoon, then?"
Rei had nodded at that and sent him on his way, and then the hours crawled by, even as he handled the lunch rush. Fortunately, things had died down by the time Okiya arrived, with only one final straggler in the cafe alongside him, and she didn't stay long. Rei wanted to give this his full attention, without any distractions.
He'd ground the beans ahead of Okiya's arrival – that man was not allowed to know exactly how much effort he was putting into this project; he'd never live it down – and made boring small talk with him while brewing and preparing the cup, so as not to draw undue attention to their conversation, should someone else walk in. It was already risky enough, having Okiya in the cafe with Rum so nearby; no need to exacerbate the problem by talking about work.
Finally, he'd gingerly set the mug down in front of Okiya with a too-sharp smile and a curt, "Let me know what you think."
He nearly gave in to his rage and threw the rest of the bag of beans at Okiya's head when the only response he got, after a quick taste, was, "It's fine."
Humiliating. Never before had he been so thoroughly insulted. All that work, for one cup of coffee, only for it to be deemed fine.
He has a different plan for today. All this time, he's been assuming that freshly brewed coffee is unequivocally better than canned – there's no comparison, really, if you ask him – but, after yesterday's humiliation, he's willing to adjust his strategy. After all, Akai likes the canned stuff, which means he can't possibly be too picky about how fresh it is.
Rei's not working at Poirot today; instead, he brews the coffee at home, a couple of hours before he'll be going to see Akai at the Kudou house, and keeps it warm in the pot until just before he's ready to leave, when he transfers it to an insulated travel mug.
The walk from his apartment to the Kudou house isn't terribly long. It's even kind of nice, bundled up in his coat and scarf, the brisk December air helping to clear his mind. More importantly, it gives the coffee even more time to sit before the recipient can drink it. Hopefully this is the key that he's been missing; if not, he's not sure what his next step will be.
Yukiko answers the door when he arrives, and he offers her a friendly grin, his Amuro mask firmly in place despite her having seen him without it, before inquiring about Okiya Subaru. That's when everything goes south.
"Shuu-chan went out with Conan-chan for a case a little while ago. You're welcome to wait for him to get back!" she explains once the door is closed with Rei inside, chipper as ever. "Or, if it's urgent, Camel-kun is upstairs. You can talk to him, if you want."
He doesn't want to, not really. And this is hardly what he would call an urgent matter, at least in terms of whether it's worth involving the FBI. But he is also absolutely not going to wait possibly hours for Akai to return. So, weighing his options, he decides that maybe Agent Camel can give him some insight instead, thanks Yukiko politely, and heads upstairs.
"Bourbon!?" Camel sputters when Rei enters Akai's little hideaway in a spare room on the upper floor, overlooking Professor Agasa's house next door.
"Agent Camel," Rei greets, before getting right to the point. "You drink coffee, do you not?"
"Coffee?" Camel repeats, confused, apparently, by the very notion of the drink.
"Yes. Coffee." Rei lifts the travel mug impatiently. "Do you drink it or not?"
Camel, who seems to be treating this as a test he could possibly fail, simply stares at Rei for a long moment, further testing his patience. Finally, he answers, "Yes?"
"Fantastic," Rei replies, attempting to keep the irritation out of his voice. "Then perhaps you can help me with something I'm working on. Let's call it… an experiment."
"An experiment on… coffee?"
"Yes." Honestly, what part of this is so difficult for him to understand? Rei's starting to wonder how this man ever became an FBI agent, especially someone working so closely with Akai Shuuichi. Ridiculous. "I'm trying to–" Improve upon, he thinks, but cannot bring himself to say aloud. What he needs is an excuse, something that does not tie his motives to Akai. "–replicate the flavor of canned coffee. So, I would like you to try this and tell me what you think of it."
He sets the travel mug down on the desk. Camel stares at him as if he's grown a second head.
"You want me to drink this?" he repeats, unnecessarily wary.
Rei waves him off. "You don't need to worry. I haven't tried to poison Akai in weeks."
That obviously does very little to assuage Camel's fears, as the sip he takes is very hesitant. When he doesn't drop dead after that first tentative drink, he seems to decide it must be safe, and tries it again – if Rei had poisoned the coffee, this sort of reckless behavior would already have marked him for death.
"This is good!" Camel declares, then pauses, frowning. "But it doesn't taste like canned coffee."
That, at least, is useful information, even if it doesn't make him feel any better. But at least it's some feedback; he can adjust from there.
He doesn't stay long, after that. He makes a few cursory attempts to get a more detailed commentary from Camel, but the man seems too distracted being anxious about his presence to elaborate. So, he leaves the mug behind, informing Camel that he can pick it up at a later date, and heads home, distinctly disappointed, but determined to try again.
He has the closing shift at Poirot the following day, which means he has a bit more time that night to work on perfecting his coffee. By the time he drags himself to bed, he's tasted so much of it that he thinks he may never want to drink the stuff again.
At the very least, he considers trying to forcibly switch Akai to decaf.
But he also has an idea: not one, but two taste tests. He'll use the canned drink Akai likes so much as a control, poured into one of his travel cups to disguise it, and see if Akai truly prefers it over Rei's brewed coffee. That should tell him what he needs to know.
He returns to the Kudou house late in the morning, dressed to leave for work directly from there, and greets Akai in the kitchen with what he hopes is a normal smile, despite feeling crazed and exhausted on the inside.
"Furuya-kun," Akai greets, his own smile looking much more natural than whatever Rei feels he has going on. "Still testing out coffee? Camel said you stopped by yesterday."
Rei's exhaustion must be catching up with him, because he'd swear he could hear a hint of a pout in Akai's tone. He resists the urge to physically shake himself free of the thought. Akai Shuuichi doesn't pout. "His input wasn't particularly useful," Rei answers, not bothering to hide his displeasure.
"And you didn't want to wait for me to return?" Akai asks, something still seeming off about his voice.
Rei sets the coffee down on the table with a huff. "Certainly not. I have more important things to do than wait around all day for you, FBI. What did Camel say?"
A glimmer of amusement shines in Akai's eyes, whatever was seemingly bothering him gone in a flash. "Only that you stopped by with coffee, and that it probably wasn't poisoned. I haven't checked on him today, but I assume he didn't drop dead."
"I see." Good, he thinks. He had, admittedly, been a bit worried that Camel would be loose-lipped about their encounter, and Rei would be stuck explaining why he said what he said. This is the much better outcome. He gestures at the mugs. "I have two today."
Akai nods, suddenly more attentive, somehow. "For comparison?"
"I would like you to try both and tell me what you think," he answers primly, crossing his arms over his chest.
Rei watches, taking in every detail, as Akai methodically tastes both drinks, his eyes following the movement of the curl of his hair that always sneaks out from underneath his knit cap, valiantly paying no mind to the bob of Akai's Adam's apple as he swallows, unwilling to allow himself any wayward thoughts or distractions when his entire mission is on the line.
Not that he has ever found himself distracted, in that manner, by Akai Shuuichi. That would imply some level of comradery – or worse, attraction – to his sworn enemy.
While Rei wrangles his thoughts into submission, Akai finishes his taste tests, looking back at Rei with what can only be described as complete neutrality. "They're both good, Furuya-kun," he says decisively.
Upon hearing those words, Rei deflates. Somehow, likely through some deal with the devil, Akai has proven to be less helpful and more infuriating than even Camel's lackluster response. Though, he realizes, that's probably to be expected from Akai.
Despite how utterly defeated he feels, he's not one to give up on a case before he solves it, so, he presses. "Do they taste the same?"
"No, not quite," Akai answers easily, but doesn't elaborate.
Rei narrows his eyes. "But you like both? Equally?"
There, Akai takes a moment to think it over, before settling on, "More or less. I'd drink both."
And that's where Rei loses his last shred of sanity. "More or– I don't get you at all. What do you want, Akai Shuuichi?" he snaps.
Akai's eyebrows draw together as he frowns. "Furuya-kun?"
"I have been trying everything to get this right," Rei continues, barreling over him. "And you are so utterly unhelpful."
"I'm sorry?"
Rei's world shrinks to just the two of them, his anger blocking out any distractions. "What is it about that canned coffee that you like so much? How can you like them both equally?"
Rei's angry ramblings clearly do nothing to lessen Akai's confusion, because he replies, "Furuya-kun, I'm not sure I follow. Have you been making all of this coffee… for me?"
"Yes," Rei growls. Of course it was all for Akai – why else would he be seeking Akai's opinion specifically? Why go to all of this trouble if not for–
He freezes in place, the last two weeks worth of frustrations slamming back on him full force. He's gone through so many headaches, so much work to make Akai Shuuichi the perfect cup of coffee, and suddenly his flimsy excuse of gathering intel feels like exactly that: an excuse.
And for what? What had he expected to gain by completing this mission? Akai's presence in Poirot on a more regular basis? What would that accomplish?
Even as he ponders that question, his confused, traitorous heart flutters at the thought of seeing Akai – or, in this case, Okiya – more often. He sinks slowly into the chair across from Akai, unseeing, disbelieving that his life has come to this. Had this really all been a bid to spend more time with–
–Well, in that, at least, he seems to have accomplished his goal, if only temporarily. He has seen Akai nearly every day for the last half month, even if only for a few minutes at a time. And, looking back on it, despite the irritation, he hadn't hated the time spent in that man's presence.
"Furuya-kun," Akai starts again, cutting through Rei's noisy thoughts. Rei glances at him, jumbled and a little numb; Akai reaches across the table and takes his hand, squeezing it gently, reassuring. "I like spending time with you, too."
Rei chokes a little, pulling his hand away, looking anywhere but Akai and his distractingly pretty eyes that seem to see right through him. "I didn't… That's not…"
But that's exactly what it is, isn't it? He does want to continue spending time with Akai – and, as if he needed the worst-case scenario to come to fruition, he is attracted to him.
He is absolutely ruined.
"I should go," he says abruptly, standing. He has work to get to in – probably like an hour and a half – and the short walk feels like it'll take twice that in his current state.
Akai is too fast for him, following Rei to the doorway and grabbing his wrist before he can get far. "Rei," he breathes, as Rei turns back to look at him.
Neither of them say anything, and Rei makes no move to free himself from Akai's grasp; the effort would be wasted regardless, held in place as he is by the desperation in Akai's eyes. He opens his mouth to say – something, he's not sure what – but no words come out. He closes it again, swallows. Unlike his racing thoughts only moments ago, his mind feels blank.
The next thing he knows, his mouth is on Akai's, kissing him as if his life depends on it. He's not even sure who initiated the kiss, only knows that he wants to be closer, closer, closer to Akai. He uses his free hand to hold onto Akai's bicep, grounding himself as the bitter, earthy taste of coffee on Akai's tongue sends his heart racing, his entire body thrumming in excitement.
"I can't believe you went to all this trouble over coffee," Akai teases as they catch their breath, moments later.
Rei glares at him. "Never speak of this again," he demands, pinching Akai's arm.
Akai, used to far worse threats of violence from him, only chuckles quietly and draws him into another kiss, further distracting Rei's brain away from any higher functions.
The next day, Rei nearly drops the plate he's carrying when Okiya walks into Poirot, his narrowed eyes and sly, fox-like smile sending Rei's heart careening into overdrive.
Thankfully, there are no actual customers around to see his misstep. His dignity has already suffered enough for a lifetime.