Chapter Text
“How does it feel, to know it’s your last day alive?” Dazai asked himself, a small smile playing at his lips. Fear? Terror? Impending doom? He shook his head slightly. No… none of that was present to him. Instead, there was a sense of content.. perhaps even peace? He couldn’t quite lay his finger on it. It was currently very early, the chill of the morning sending shivers down his spine. Standing from the bench he had been resting on, he tucked his hands into his pockets. After all, he had things to settle before his rest.
The first place he visited, was obviously his work place. Plastering on a smile, he kicked the door open announcing loudly he had arrived. “Dazai.. you’re surprisingly early.” Kunikida commented, casting a worried look at the door. Dazai grinned. “Well, consider that your present! My early presence. You’ve been graced by my beautiful self.” He gloated, while Kunikida grumbled something about door taxes.
Dazai couldn’t care less. Sauntering over to where Ranpo sat, he paused. Ranpo stared at him intently. “What’re you staring for?” Dazai huffed crossing his arms. Ranpo smirked. “You’ve got a stupid look on your face again.” He said, but there was clearly a question in the air. Dazai smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Ranpo faltered slightly. “I can't lay my finger on it..” he said quietly almost to himself.
“What was that?” Dazai asked. Ranpo remained silent for a while, before finally shaking his head. “Nevermind.” He said nonchalantly, kicking back in his seat. “Whatever it is, I probably won't care anyways!” The playful tone that usually plagued his voice resurfacing. However, the air of tension still remained present. Dazai snickered. “There you are.”
It wasn't long before the usual lull of work started up again. The rest of the agency had shown up a little while after Dazai and Ranpo’s exchange. The question that lingered previously on Ranpo’s tongue had seemingly left as he conversed eagerly with Yosano. Dazai was soaking up the chatter around him, his headphones on, yet no music played. It took him a moment to notice the presence of Atsushi hovering over his shoulder. “Ehh.. Dazai?” Atsushi asked awkwardly as Dazai glanced up at him. “Yessss Atsushi?” He drawled out. The boy seemed to be contemplating something. Color him intrigued..
“How come you've been so quiet all day?” Atsushi asked, pulling up a stool to sit. Dazai stared at the younger boy passively, but his mind suddenly exploded into thought. “Would he be sad when I'm gone? Will he be alright without me?” Were thoughts that repeated on loop. “You’re usually way louder.. Ey Dazai you listening?” Dazai tuned back into the conversation. Atsushi was staring at him with a slightly exasperated look. “Atsushi, you dare question my attention span?!” Dazai asked, clearly aghast at the very thought. It’s all just a show in the end. A little voice in the back of his mind whispered. Shaking his head slightly, Dazai leaned back in his seat. “As to why I'm so silent… today’s a big thinking day for me.” Atsushi made a sound of understanding.
Dazai felt a sudden pang in his chest. This wasn’t right of him. He shouldn’t talk to Atsushi any longer. “Ehh.. shouldn’t you be doing work?” Dazai piped up. “Gosh you’re right!” Atsushi exclaimed before hurrying off. Dazai swore not to talk to Atsushi again that day. He wasn’t heartless… he knew he meant something to the kid. Interacting with him more would only hurt him more in the long run.
Somewhere in the port mafia.. Chuuya sat at his desk, staring at the water dripping onto its polished surface. There’d been a leak in his ceiling. “You’d expect a building like this to be less.. leaky.” He muttered. He’d felt off the entire day. Something major was going to happen, but did he want to get involved? No!
….
A couple hours had passed. Dazai’s day was considerably over, and he got up from his seat. He didn’t bother saying any goodbyes. He’d spent his day normally, bickering with Kunikida, scolded by Yosano.. it was his usual routine. Ranpo seemed to progressively grow more alert as the day progressed, staring at Dazai for longer periods of time. Dazai had been struggling to avoid eye contact. Walking out of the building, he knew there was one place he had to stop by. He owed it to him after all.
Walking up the hill to Odasaku’s grave, Dazai gazed at the sun as it slowly inched towards the horizon line. Sitting himself down, he leaned against the cool stone. “Hello old friend.” He said softly. “I suppose I owe you an apology.” He glanced down at the headstone. Reaching out, he traced the letters with a finger, relishing the feeling of the cold surface. “I still remember that day.” He said quietly. “I’ve done what you wished. And… I fear that I am tired. The world.. is not made for beautiful souls. It crushes people like you.” He remained silent for a long while, staring out at the horizon line. Dazai had been waiting.. and trying for this very day.. he’d waited for this moment for a long time. And now that it was happening now? He didn’t know..
“Dazai!” A sharp voice broke the silence.
Dazai’s head snapped up, and he saw..Ranpo.
The man was jogging up the hill huffing and puffing. If it had been any other day, Dazai may have laughed. “Ranpo?..” Dazai asked quietly, rising from his seat. “Dazai… I know what you’re huff doing, and please… huff don’t.” Ranpo’s voice was plagued with a desperation that Dazai had never heard before. “You’re a mysterious man, I’ve had such a hard time trying to figure you out. And to this day, I still don’t know. But I do know that you’ve changed for a reason. You came to the Armed Detective Agency, and you’ve done so much good. You’re a mentor to Atsushi.. Dazai just look at where you are!”
Dazai blinked. He looked down at Odasaku’s grave, and suddenly.. suddenly he was right back on that cursed day.
“Since both sides are the same, become a good person.“
And then he was back. Dazai let out a sigh. “Fair point Ranpo.” He said simply, a small smile starting to form. Ranpo returned Dazai’s smile. It was small, but it was real. Genuine. As the sun finally went to rest, Dazai and Ranpo walked down the hill together. It’d been a long while… since Dazai truly felt at peace.