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English
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Published:
2025-12-17
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1,989
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1/1
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Lucy's Christmas Cookies

Summary:

Published on an unknown date. Posting to Archive.

Can you keep a secret?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

"In the meadow we can build a snowman. Then pretend that he is Parson Brown..." The radio crackled throughout the unusually quiet Loud House. The ancient device sat on the table of the family room, though no one was sitting around it to appreciate the Christmas tunes. Most of the family was out playing in the snow. The only exceptions were Lori was with Bobby at his house, Rita was at the pediatrician with Lily about a cold she had (and with the snowy roads, she wouldn't be home any time soon), and Lynn Sr. was doing some work in the garage on something. Then there was Lucy, who was toiling relentlessly in the kitchen, which reeked with the smell of burnt cookies. Quite unusual behavior for the goth child, and this was something she wanted to keep secret!

It was Christmas Eve, so the young Loud didn't have much time to finish her task, she had to get this done before someone came into the house. No one could know what she was up to! No one could see the dark, brooding Lucy Loud doing something like baking cookies. Her image would be ruined forever. "Sigh. Not again." She groaned. With the oversized oven mitts, Lucy carefully pulled the tray of burnt cookies out from the oven. Burnt forms of ghosts, spiders, and what could pass as pumpkins littered the tray. Into the trash they went, just like the others. Soon Lucy would have to hide the bag or something, because it was overflowing with burnt treats. There was no other option, she'd just have to come clean. Maybe this sister could help out with her plan, and keep it secret as well...

Lucy was running out of chances. There was just enough cookie dough for two more tries, and the goth wasn't even close to getting the cookies done right! She was about to try again, when the front door opened. Oh crud. Lucy didn't have enough time to clean up! She could just run, but everyone knew she was the only one home, the burnt cookies couldn't be anyone else's fault but hers! She heard one of her sisters sigh and stamp her feet by the entrance to get rid of lingering snow. "Man, I'm hungry!" The sister thought out loud. It was Lana. She could keep a secret, right? Right?

The younger Loud finished shedding her winter clothes and entered the kitchen, but stopped in her tracks when she saw Lucy. "Oh, hey Luce. I..." She stopped and sniffed. "What's that smell? It's like...burnt something..." She muttered, looking around for the source of the smell.

Lucy had made her decision, and approached Lana and spoke quietly at her. "You can keep a secret, right? I need your word, Lana."

Lana, now very confused, nodded. "Uh, yeah. Sure. What exactly am I keeping secret?" Lucy led her younger sister to the trash can and showed her the burnt cookies that were filling the bag. "I don't...Wait." Lana looked at Lucy, eyebrows raised. "Was that you? You were baking cookies? That's...unexpected."

Lucy nodded. "I know, and I have to keep this a secret from everyone!" She urged. She felt pangs of embarrassment piercing through her body.

Lana just looked weirded out at this point. "Okay, sure, I guess. But why were you trying to bake cookies? You've never done anything like that before..."

Lucy let out a genuine sigh, instead of just saying the word. "I know. But I came to a conclusion about Santa this year: he must be a demon."

Lana's stare became blank at that. "Uh. What?" Was all she could say. How do you respond to something weird like that?

"Think about it. How else would he be able to do what he does? Travel around the world in one night, and visit every house on the way? Not to mention how old he is, and how he manages to show up in every single mall at the same time. That, and his name is just a rearrangement of Satan. It can't be a coincidence." Lucy explained. "He must be a demon of some sort."

"I think he's just magic." Lana countered. "With like, Christmas magic or something."

"Or demonic magic." Lucy argued, ignoring Lana rolling her eyes a bit. "I decided I must make a sacrifice to such a powerful demon, and all the legends say he likes cookies. That's why I was making them, to give to Santa."

"I...guess that kinda makes sense. But...wait..." Lana squinted at the cookies. Due to their crispy nature, it was difficult to make out, but..."Is that a spider-shaped cookie?" She asked, and shifted the contents of the trash a bit. "And is this a ghost-shaped one? What gives? These aren't even Christmas-themed!"

"Ghosts are definitely Christmas-themed." Lucy said. "Haven't you ever seen A Christmas Carol?"

Lana opened her mouth to argue, then closed it and rubbed her chin in thought. "Huh. Can't argue with that. But still, we need some Christmas trees and snowmen or something!"

"If you really think Santa would like them." There was a pause. "Wait, did you say 'we'?" Lucy asked.

Lana nodded, beaming an incomplete smile at Lucy. "You bet! Someone's got to! No offense, but you have no idea what you're doing here, Luce."

Lucy chose to ignore the slight insult. She was just glad to get some help! "Thank you, Lana. But...do you know how to bake cookies?"

"Well...Lola's done it before for some pageant or whatever. I've watched!" Lana declared.

Well, it was better than nothing, Lucy supposed. And it's not like she could ask Lola. That little seed of evil would blackmail Lucy for sure! "Alright, what do we do first?"

After throwing the spider-shaped cookie cutter aside, Lana hunted for the Christmas-themed ones as Lucy got the cookie dough ready. Lana found the cutters and got the shapes ready, while Lucy put the baking sheet into the oven. "I think we set the oven to 375 degrees." Lana muttered, pressing the appropriate buttons on the oven. "And for the time...Uh...It always takes forever to make these when Lola does it...A half hour?" Lucy just shrugged in response. She had it on longer than that the last few times. Lana pushed the time in and turned the oven on.

Some time passed, the two sat in a bit of an awkward silence before Lucy piped up. "I should...probably to see if anyone else is gonna come in soon." Lucy commented and went to the front window, peering out. It seemed like everyone had no intentions of going in anytime soon. They all seemed pretty full of energy still. Just as Luan was getting hit in the eye with a rogue snowball, the oven went off. Lucy rushed back into the kitchen as Lana opened the door. The smell of fresh burnt cookies slapped the six year-old as she did so, and Lucy was met with it as she approached. "Darn it!" She actually emoted a bit. "Wrong again!" She took the oven mitts and dumped the newest batch into the trash.

"Dang...We only have enough dough for one more try." Lana noted. "Should we get someone to help?"

Lucy shook her head. "No, no...No one else can know I'm baking cookies. It would ruin my image."

Lana decided not to argue it. She didn't see it as a big deal, but she doubted she'd get Lucy to see it the same way. "Well, what do we do? We can't seem to get this right. I guess we'll have to cook it for even less time?"

"But what if it isn't enough? Or is still too long?" Lucy asked. "This is our last chance..."

"I dunno either, Luce. Maybe twenty-five minutes will work?" Lana suggested.

"Maybe? I guess it's better than nothing." Lucy said. The two set up one last batch of cookies. As they were setting the timer, the door opened up again. "Crud. Hide." Lucy whispered in a panic, and the two dashed into the dining room and hid under the table.

"Phew! Jack Frost is biting hard today!" The two heard their Dad comment as he shed his winter gear. "Could go for some hot chocolate..." Lucy winced as she saw Lynn Sr. enter the kitchen. "Cookies? Huh..." He looked around and caught a slight glimpse of Lana and Lucy, who thought they couldn't be seen under the table. He then looked in the trash and saw the burnt cookies. The wires connected in his head and he smiled to himself. "I wonder who left these here." He wondered, a bit loud. "Oh well, can't let them go to waste!" He fiddled with the oven and put the baking sheet it and let it start cooking before leaving the kitchen and going into his room.

Lucy and Lana waited a moment, and when Dad didn't come back out, they scurried to the oven. "No, no...Do you think Dad did it right?" Lucy asked.

"I...I dunno. Dad's cooking is usually...well..." Lana trailed off. "But surely an adult can make cookies, right?"

Lucy didn't answer right away, instead staring at the oven. After a minute, she spoke up again. "Lana...Thanks. Even though we didn't make a good batch, I appreciate you helping me out, and keeping my secret." She gave her younger sister a small smile.

"It's no problem! You're my sister, after all. I gotta help out when I can!" Lana answered with a returning smile. The two started to clean up the dirty kitchen as the cookies baked, with Lana gladly handling the trash. Soon after they were all done, the oven went off. The two girls looked at each other. "Well...moment of truth."

The two girls opened the door and...were hit with a warm, delicious aroma. "Whoah..." The two sniffed the scent of the cookies deeply. Lucy carefully took the sheet out. On it were about a dozen well-baked cookies. Maybe with a burnt part or two around a few edges, but a lot better than any of the previous attempts. Some ghosts, a Christmas tree, and some snowmen lied there, ready to be eaten.

"He did it..." Lana gasped out. "I can't believe it, these are perfect!"

Lucy smiled a bit, her plan was finally coming to a close...even though she herself couldn't get it right. "You keep a lookout, and I'll get these stored away." She ordered. Lana saluted and looked out the window for their siblings. Lucy got the cookies on a plate with plastic wrapping and put the kitchen supplies away. She had just stored them under her bed when the front door flew open and the siblings started to file in. Lucy came downstairs and Lana gave her a small smile as everyone crowded in the family room to watch Christmas specials...

That night, Lucy could hardly sleep. She had snuck down just an hour ago to put the cookies where Santa would see them, feeling a bit disappointed she couldn't get it right herself. It was well after midnight when she heard a noise downstairs. Could it be...Santa? Lucy waited until all noise subsided before sneaking back down. She saw the extra presents and...oh wow. She quickly made her way into Lola and Lana's room, making sure not to wake the snoring "princess" as she quietly woke Lana up. "Hrm...Wha?" Lana mumbled as she opened her eyes.

"Lana, come down, hurry." Lucy ordered and practically dragged her younger sister down the stairs. The two approached where the cookies lied.

Now what was there was an empty plate and a few crumbs. In addition, was a piece of paper that simply read

"Lucy and Lana,
Thank you for the cookies, they were delicious."
-Santa Claus"

"Totally worth it." Lucy and Lana whispered in unison.

Notes:

Grabbed from Sprocket3's Archive. So, kudos to him