Chapter Text
Laying on his couch buried under his three catcake, Aventurine knew he should be enjoying his time off. He rarely got any with his busy schedule. He hadn’t expected to, especially after Penacony, a trip he hadn’t planned on coming back from. Nor had he expected to survive the Stonehearts meeting. Yet as luck would have it, he survived both. He reached over his stomach and pet the nearest one, Club, who meowed and stretched into his hand.
He’d made arrangements for his cats and all his belongings (namely leaving everything for one Dr. Veritas Ratio) and had even made sure to pack everything so it was less inconvenient. Since he got back from Penacony, he’d spent the better part of two weeks unpacking everything and resettling his catcakes, who in his opinion, had clearly been spoiled too much by Topaz while he was away because now they wanted all their food homemade and not the premium catfood they had been eating.
It wasn’t an issue he had anticipated, but then again, he hadn’t expected himself to have a future. Now there was a tomorrow and he wasn’t sure what to do. He could ask Ratio for advice. Honestly, he should have already. But he just couldn’t bring himself to pick up the phone and call him. How was he supposed to talk to Ratio when the other man knew full well Aventurine had been planning to die and had no intention of letting Ratio know?
So here he was: avoiding Ratio and Aventurine had to say, he was doing a fantastic job. Even if his only company were his catcakes and an infinite amount of bad tv shows. At least it helped distract him from the task of having to unpack his life. He wasn’t quite ready to do that step yet.
A very distinct ringing filled the room. Great, it was work. He wasn’t due back for at least another week. His ‘reward’ for his success on Penacony, or maybe it for not getting executed after the meeting. Either way, work was the last people he wanted to hear from. But it couldn’t be helped.
He reached over Club, who meowed loudly in protest and picked up the call with his cheerist voice. “Aventurine speaking. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?”
“Oh, knock it off. I’m one of three people who call you on this number.” Topaz’s annoyed voice came through.
Well, Topaz wasn’t wrong. Just one of those people currently had their number blocked. Not that Ratio knew that. “Relax. Can’t a man be polite?”
“As if you’re ever polite.”
“I’ll have you know, my clients find me to be a perfect gentleman.”
He could almost hear the eye roll over the phone. “As you claim. Unfortunately, this isn’t a social call. Something’s come up at the office and they need you to come in.”
Aventurine sighed. “Can’t they just send me what they need me to do?”
“It’s not that kind of problem.”
“So what kind of problem is it?”
Topaz paused for a moment before saying, “Do you watch Keeping Up With Star Rail?”
“Sometimes.” He never really had an interest in the show. He’d been on it once or twice for an interview and that was only after much pestering from the IPC. He wasn’t very interested in that kind of thing. Talk shows, gossip magazines, the lot. He’d much rather watch a sitcom or a soap opera. Like the one he had been watching before Topaz so rudely interrupted his break.
“Well, they need you to fill in as the host.”
He almost dropped his phone. “Why? Isn’t this the Talent and Marketing Departments pet project?”
“Well, they’re desperate. Owlbert is got sick and…” There was a long pause. “No one else wants to do it.”
“No one? I imagine there must be someone at the Talent Department who must be dying for the opportunity," he said with barely concealed sarcasm. He liked to parade himself around, yes, but he did it for business. These people just did it to fuel their ego. Except for Owlbert. Honestly, he wondered how much they were paying that owl to keep coming back after all the grief they’d put him through.
Topaz sighed. “It’s less the show and more the guest. You’re their last resort.”
Aventurine let out a laugh. “Well, I’m honored they thought of me. I’ll assume I have little choice in the matter?”
“All you have to do is the show, and then you can go back to fancy paid leave. Otherwise, you’ll find your leave suddenly comes with happy helping of paperwork.”
Internally, Aventurine groaned. He didn’t want to go back to work yet, but it seemed he was being given little choice in the matter. While he may no longer be a slave, at times it felt he had traded one cage for another. Whatever, it was one task and then he could continue lazing around for at least another month. It wasn’t even a particularly difficult task. He’d go as far as to call it boring. “Alright, alright. I’ll be at the office within the hour.”
“Great, because otherwise I was going to drag you there myself.”
“Aw, you care that much about me?”
“Goodbye, Aventurine.” Topaz groaned before abruptly hanging up.
Alone again, Aventurine sighed, and stared at the ceiling. So much for his vacation. Carefully, he extracted himself from under the cat cakes. They all meowed loudly in protest as he did, clearly upset about having their pillow removed. He shuffled through his apartment to his closet. He could hear the catcakes pittering along behind him as he did.
One of them, Spade, rubbed against his leg, as he sorted through his closet. He reached down, scratching the cat cake’s head. “Yeah, yeah I know. I won’t be gone long.”
He meowed loudly, probably in protest. “Your objection is noted,” he said before grabbing a suit and leaving for the bathroom.
By the time he’d finished, he found a stack of meowing cat cakes waiting for him. “I know, I know. I’ll only be gone an hour. You can survive that long, can’t you?”
Three different pitches of meows responded. He just sighed. Well, he’d just pretend that they agreed to this arrangement. Hopefully, his apartment was still in one piece when he got back.
🗿+🦚
He arrived at the office faster than he anticipated and effortlessly made his way up to the meeting room, just as Topaz had told him. Topaz wouldn’t be joining him, apparently she had actual work to do. Hah, he envied the poor guy they sent to brief him. When he entered, there wasn’t just one poor guy, there were three. One of them screamed intern by the way he squirmed while the other two looked slightly more relaxed but definitely still anxious.
Yeah, these guys had definitely heard his reputation.
Aventurine put on his best, most charming smile. “I do hope I haven’t kept you waiting long.”
The intern immediately spoke up. “Oh no, not at all Mr. Aventurine! If anything, we should apologize to you for asking you here on such short notice.”
Definitely a people pleaser, that one.
He just shook his head. “It was of no concern.” He stepped across the room and took a seat across from the three workers. “Now, they tell me you want me to host this week’s edition of Keeping Up With Star Rail.”
“Yes, uh,” One of the workers started nervously. “We know this is a very unusual request. But you are the only person who can help us.”
“You’re our last resort.” The intern blurted out, earning a jab from one of his co-workers.
Their last resort, huh. Well, then they must be in quite the pickle to come crawling to a Stoneheart for help. Given, he was already told he had to do it or else, but hey. They didn’t know that and he liked watching them squirm. He raised an oblivious eyebrow. “Oh? So you’re that desperate.”
The first worker squirmed. “It’s just…it’s our guest this week. He’s…strict.”
“Prentitious is more like it.” The third worker interjected. “Just because he’s part of the Intelligentsia Guild doesn’t give him the right to disparage everyone.”
Something clicked. Oh, there was only one person that could be. They weren’t kidding when they said they were desperate. He should have pressed Topaz for more details. If he’d known he was going to have to deal with Ratio, he’d have rather done an ungodly amount of paperwork instead. “Your guest doesn’t happen to be the esteemed Dr. Ratio, then?”
“It is,” The first worker said, his head hung. “He’s scheduled to talk about his collaboration with Screwllum of the Genius Society. They’re set to start this massive experiment called the Divergent Universe in Penacony next month and we’re the only program he agreed to talk to.”
“But he only agreed to it because he tolerates Owlbert but now that he’s sick, we need a replacement and he’s vetoed all our other options! You’re the only one he was willing to consider.” The intern looked on the edge of tears at this point and Aventurine could not blame him. He’d probably been hit with Ratio’s chalk one too many times by the sound of it.
That being said, he had heard of the Divergent Universe. Not in much detail, Ratio had only talked about the barebone details of it while they were on their mission. He hadn’t felt like asking, not when he was sure that he wasn’t going to be around for it to matter anyway. Either way, it sounded intriguing and exactly the kind of thing the Intelligentsia Guild would make Ratio talk about. Especially if it was in collaboration with the Genius Society. They’d take every chance possible to tout that collab everywhere.
No wonder they were having a hard time finding a host. Ratio probably didn’t want to be there and was making it everyone else’s problem. Great. Apparently fate had other plans and he wouldn't be able to avoid Ratio for much longer. "Well in that case, I'd be happy to help."
He was glad that his smile never faltered through the lie.