Work Text:
One more failing grade, and that sports scholarship of yours will be revoked.
Those are the words that keep ringing in Kyoutani’s head as he lays on his bed.
His college counselor had told him that yesterday night. It was all Kyoutani could think of.
His dorm room is cramped enough as it is, he doesn’t need all these negative thoughts taking space in here.
Kyoutani has come to the realization that he is not smart enough. He’s not very good at anything science related.
Science terms fly over his head, and math is so much worse.
He doesn’t understand how someone could enjoy something so confusing.
He used to be good. Back when he was in high school.
Math would make sense to him, he would be happy when he understood a problem.
But math is now the equivalent of plunging into boiling water on the hottest day of the year. It’s painful.
The only thing Kyoutani finds himself good at now is anything history related.
He likes literature too, he likes how answers can be anything. How you’re not wrong just because your answer isn’t the same as someone else’s.
Memorizing dates and times. Thats what Kyoutani is good at.
Memorizing the periodic table and math formulas? Not so much.
He needs help. He really does. But Kyoutani hates asking for help, he hates admitting that he isn’t good enough.
Heaven knows that he isn’t good enough.
But he had still tried in high school. He still attempted the work. Because one guy had begged him to.
And who is Kyourani to deny Yahaba Shigeru what he asks for?
He remembers now. He was good at math and science because Yahaba was there. He was there to help him remember. To help him understand. Yahaba was there.
“He’s not here now.” Kyoutani mutters aloud, talking to his bed. I need him, is what he keeps to himself.
So Kyoutani makes a very rash decision. It’s a Friday morning. He has Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off because it’s a holiday Monday.
He makes a decision that might be considered stupid and maybe he didn’t think it through.
And yes, the decision consists of a bus ticket, a half-heartedly packed backpack, and a trip to a college he’s never been to, all to see none other than Yahaba Shigeru.
———
Now, on the bus, Kyoutani is having second thoughts.
He doesn’t know where Yahaba dorm is. He doesn’t even know if he’s there right now. And he’s too much of a coward to ask Yahaba himself.
So he relies on the one guy he had promised himself to never text.
When he had received this phone number in his second year of high school he had rolled his eyes at the thought of even texting this guy.
Now, he was his last hope.
Kyoutani: Oikawa.
It takes a few minutes for a response.
Oikawa: Kyoutani????????
Kyoutani rolls his eyes at the question marks flooding his screen.
Kyoutani: You still talk to Yahaba?
Oikawa: Why yes, I do still talk to my precious Kouhai.
Kyoutani: Do you know where his dorm is?
Oikawa: Depends.
Kyoutani: On what?
Oikawa: On your intent.
Kyoutani is glaring at his screen now.
Kyoutani: What do you even mean by that?
Oikawa: Are you going there to beat him up?
Kyoutani: Why would I do that?
Oikawa: I wouldn’t put it past you..
Kyoutani wants to punch his phone.
Kyoutani: Just tell me his dorm number.
Oikawa: Say please.
Kyoutani: No.
Oikawa: it’s two letter, one syllable, two if you drag it out, and a single word. You can do itttttt.
Kyoutani: Just tell me the fucking dorm number.
Oikawa: ^_^
Kyoutani: please.
Oikawa: There it isss!!!
Oikawa: his dorm number is 107, it’s on the second floor of the left building. There’s a huge cherry blossom tree in front of it.
Kyoutani: Okay.
Oikawa: Is it possible for me to know you’re intent on this now?
Kyoutani: It’s not a bad thing.
Oikawa: going to confess your undying love to him?
Kyoutani’s eyes widen as he hurries to type a response.
Kyoutani: I don’t like him like that asshat!
Oikawa: I know I didn’t make up those faces you would make when you saw him. That wasn’t just in my head. I mean, Hanamaki thought you guys were dating all through second year!
Kyoutani: We’re not!
Oikawa: you mean, yet.?
Kyoutani: at all!
Oikawa: you better not be going there to take my precious Yahaba’s purity!
Kyoutani’s face turns completely red.
Kyoutani: Fuck off.
Oikawa: I’m serious!
Oikawa: I mean, that’s like my kid!
Oikawa: Kyoutani answer me!
Oikawa: Kyoutani promise me you won’t!
Oikawa: Kyoutani Kentarou.
Oikawa: Kyoutaniiiiiiii >:(
Kyoutani turns his phone off for the rest of the bus ride.
———
Kyoutani finally makes it to Yahaba’s university. He grips the strap of his backpack with one hand and sets his shoulders.
He’s determined now, he will find Yahaba and he will….
…The plan is still in it’s first stages of development.
He inhales deeply before hurrying towards what he assumes is the building Oikawa was talking about, there’s a big cherry blossom tree, its petals falling; a clear sign of the upcoming seasons.
No choice but to follow through on his what he is now calling idiotic plan, Kyoutani marches towards the stairs.
A tallish girl with a scared expression on her face and blonde hair holds the door open for him as he steps inside the building.
Kyoutani grunts out a thanks to the girl before walking up the stairs.
He eventually makes it to the second floor. He is now standing in front of dorm room 107, doubts bubbling in the back of his mind.
Before he can back out, someone opens the dorm room from the inside.
The guy who is not Yahaba, jumps back as he notices Kyoutani’s glare.
“Jeez, you scared me man!” He huffs, clutching his heart.
“Sorry,” Kyoutani mumbles.
“Totally fine! I mean…this really woke me up.” The guy says, his eyes wide and Kyoutani finds himself thinking, they should take hair gel away from this guy.
He takes in who he assumes is Yahaba’s dorm roommates appearance. He has white hair dyed at the tips, black hair at the roots, a huge grin on his face and owlish eyes.
“Are you looking for someone?” The guy asks.
Kyotuani snaps to attention, “Uh..Yes, is Yaha-“
His sentence gets cut short as another voice pops in, “Bokuto? What’s happening?”
And Kyoutani knows that voice. He could never forget that voice, really.
It belongs to the guy who shoved him against a wall during a volleyball game. The same guy who helped him pass his classes, to the guy who helped him in ways Kyoutani is not ready to admit. Yet his heart knows. It knows the feelings Kyoutani refuses to acknowledge.
“There’s this guy…” Yahaba’s roommate- Bokuto says. “I think he’s asking for you..?”
Kyoutani wants to run away. He wants to say, sike, it was all a lie. I’m actually not looking for him. He wants to be anywhere but here.
All those feelings that he had repressed in high school come flooding back to the surface now. And Kyoutani isn’t sure if he’s strong enough to keep them down this time.
But before Kyoutani can even think of muttering a single word Yahaba pops his head behind Bokuto.
They both lock eyes at the same time. Kyoutani notices Yahaba widen his eyes in surprise. He also notices that Yahaba’s hair is a bit longer than when they last talked. He takes in the warmth in his eyes, the soft easy smile that flows from Yahaba’s mouth. And also the small frown he makes, the one thing that gives away what he’s really feeling.
“Kyoutani?” Yahaba asks.
“Hey,” Kyoutani croaks, and goddamnit voice, work!
“What are you doing here?” Yahaba asks, as Bokuto moves out of the way for them to talk face to face.
“It’s…well..” Kyoutani begins.
Yahaba raises an eyebrow, not impressed, “Well.?”
“I need help!” Kyoutani blurts out.
Yahaba nods, “With what?”
“I-I… I need your help.”
“What’s in it for me?” Yahaba asks crossing his eyebrows.
Kyoutani is at a loss for words as he opens his mouth-
“Well don’t just stand there dumbass, come in!” Yahaba teases as he moves so that Kyoutani can enter his dorm.
“About to fail again, you say?” Yahaba asks as he walks over to his bed to sit in.
“I never said that.” Kyoutani points out.
“You didn’t have to.”
He’s right.
Yahaba smirks, “coming to beg for my help?”
Kyoutani glares at Yahaba, forgetting for a moment that Yahaba is apparently immune to his glares.
“…no.”
“Liar.”
“Shut up.” Kyoutani mutters.
Yahaba laughs softly, “Well…come here, I’ll help you.”
Kyoutani walks over to sit next to Yahaba, he sets his bag down on his lap.
“What subjects?” Yahaba asks as he settles more comfortably into his bed.
“Math, science, a little bit of English too.” Kyoutani mumbles, looking anywhere but at Yahaba.
Yahaba nods, “You never did like those subjects.”
“They make no fucking sense.”
Yahaba rolls his eyes, “Okay, show me the work.”
Kyoutani manages to find some of the work curriculum on his phone and the rest are now scattered in Yahaba’s desk.
Bokuto, who Kyoutani realizes is now staring at him, speaks up.
“How do you know him?”
Kyoutani opens his mouth to respond when Yahaba does it for him.
“We were on the same volleyball team.”
Bokuto’s eyes light up, “what position did you play?” He asks, eager to know.
“Wing spiker.” Kyoutani responds.
“I was the ace!” Bokuto yells excitedly.
“…so was I.” Kyoutani responds.
“I’m really good actually..Well Akaashi says I am…and I believe him. I’m still on the volleyball team… but…I’m not the ace anymore..” he mutters the last part.
Kyoutani nods, “I still play too.” He says, his voice even, “I’m gonna be the ace though.” He mutters.
Yahaba snorts, “not with these grades.”
Kyoutani sends him a glare.
“Akaashi tells me that I will be the ace. He actually lets me talk to him about anything.” Bokuto has a new kind of sparkle in his eyes.
“Who’s Akaashi?” Kyoutani asks.
Yahaba groans as he sees Bokuto sit up straighter, “don’t get him started!” He warns.
“Only the best boyfriend ever!” Bokuto yells. Kyoutani winces at the volume of his words, “he was my setter in high school! And he goes here! He’s helping another guy study though. He’s actually Yahaba’s roommate!”He says.
Kyoutani frowns, “Then what are you doing here?”
Bokuto grins, “I am waiting for Akaashi to come back so that we can hang out.”
Kyoutani gives a small nod, trying to end the conversation with Bokuto.
Unfortunately, Bokuto will not let him.
“Actually, I’ve met a lot of people in volleyball. They’re all nice people too! And most of them….Are setters. I find it very interesting that most setters date their spikers.”
Yahaba looks up at Bokuto, “you never told me that.”
Bokuto shrugs, “I thought you knew.”
Yahaba looks back down at Kyoutani’s curriculum, not bothering to respond.
“Me and Akaashi are dating, Yahaba had told me that Iwaizumi and Oikawa are dating. These two guys from the high school team Nekoma have been dating for a long time… and…now you two!”
Kyoutani promptly chokes.
Yahaba snaps his eyes up to Bokuto. “We’re not dating!” He hisses.
Bokuto looks slightly surprised at this, “are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m fucking sure we’re not dating Bokuto!”
Bokuto, clearly oblivious to the panic and embarrassment he just caused goes on casually, “oh well…you should tackle that problem sooner or later.”
Yahaba throws a notebook at Bokuto, which leaves Bokuto squawking and complaining.
“Shouldn’t you go practice volleyball right now?” Yahaba asks.
Bokuto frowns, “actually no-“
“Bye!” Yahaba yells as he gets up from his spot on the bed to shove Bokuto out of the dorm.
“Hey! I still need to-“ Bokuto begins.
“You can do all of it in the park, on a bench, really!” Yahaba interrupts, as he slams the door shut.
They are left in awkward silence as the door is closed.
Yahaba exhales, “so..”
“Math work.” Kyoutani responds.
“Right.” Yahaba nods and walks back over to Kyoutani.
They get to work immediately, with Kyoutani trying and sometimes failing to understand how letters can turn into numbers.
Yahaba is patient though, he explains the work in a way that has Kyoutani nodding along and actually learning.
When they’re sitting in silence as Yahaba doodles on his notebook and Kyoutani tries to solve a problem, Kyoutani speaks up.
“I know you think I’m dumb. But I’m not.”
Yahaba frowns, “I-“
“I swear! I know how math works, I understand that everything in it is definitive. I just don’t like it.”
“Don’t like what?”
“Why aren’t there multiple answers? Why does everything have to be through and through? Why does it always have to be something and not…not multiple things?” Kyoutani asks.
“I thought you liked stability.” Yahaba points out.
“I like differences. I like possibilities, and chances. Math isn’t that!”
They sit in silence for a few moments more before Yahaba responds.
“I don’t think you’re dumb.”
Kyoutani scoffs, “Yeah, right.”
Yahaba sends him a glare, “I don’t think you’re dumb.” He repeats, “I have never-.”
Kyoutani shakes his head, “just because you haven’t said it out loud doesn’t mean you haven’t thought it.” Why is he so defensive?
Yahaba groans, “Goddamnit! Let me finish.”
“I don’t think you’re dumb. I have never thought that. School measures knowledge. It pits people against each other until everyone has the mentality that they need to be the best. How could someone not crumble under those burdens?”
“Y’know, once you stop trying to measure up to everyone’s expectations of perfection, then you can finally just be you.” Yahaba tells him quietly.
And Kyoutani doesn’t know how to respond, he doesn’t know how to tell Yahaba what he’s feeling. He doesn’t know.
He hates not knowing.
They spend the rest of the day studying. Kyoutani gaining confidence in the things he’s learning and Yahaba smiling proudly as Kyoutani asks for less help.
Yahaba eventually opens the dorm room for Bokuto to enter again.
With a lot of yelling and bright smiles all is forgiven and they get back to studying.
Bokuto had already made plans to hangout with Akaashi. Kyoutani briefly saw him. Akaashi with his black hair and eyes that seemed to peer into the depths of your mind. Black reading glasses that would look nerdy in anybody else except for him. He seemed stable. A lot like Bokuto’s opposite. Kyoutani comes to the realization that Akaashi and Bokuto are perfect together.
Bokuto is wild and loud while Akaashi can be reserved and stable. They compliment each other.
Once both Akaashi and Bokuto left, Kyoutani and Yahaba are left in an almost fulfilling silence.
Kyoutani had almost forgotten how good silence is.
Yahaba and Kyoutani are done with all the work. They’re lying down, staring up at the ceiling. Thoughts threatening to drown Kyoutani.
“You never called.” Yahaba mumbles.
No, I didn’t. Kyoutani thinks. “Phone works both ways.” Is what he says.
“I wanted you to reach out first.” Yahaba responds with a huff of annoyance.
“Why?”
“Because.” Yahaba answers simply.
Kyoutani frowns, “Because.?”
Yahaba shrugs, “Just to..to know that you wanted to talk to me.” His face turns red, “I don’t know! It’s whatever.”
Kyoutani hesitates, “I didn’t call because I wasn’t sure if you would answer.”
“How would you know I wasn’t going to answer if you never tried?”
“Isn’t it better to not be let down by hope?” Kyoutani asks.
Yahaba shakes his head, “No. I don’t think it is.”
Silence. Kyoutani is beginning to realize that silence is not empty, it’s full of answers. Answers Kyoutani is too scared to look at.
“I would have answered.” Yahaba says.
“If I called?”
“Yes; if you called, I would have answered.”
“Okay.” Kyoutani whispers.
“Okay.” Yahaba whispers back.
It’s only then. On that Friday evening that Kyoutani gives in to his feelings. He kisses Yahaba. With only Yahaba’s bed and Kyoutani’s notebooks as a witness to the thing that initiated a relationship.
And it begins then, on that Friday evening. The start of many joyful memories and even better soft, warm kisses.
Cold hands brushing through Kyoutani’s hair, warm lips mouthing at Yahaba’s cheek.
A small glimpse of the happiness that Kyoutani had been too scared to hope for.
“I think I might be in love with you.” Yahaba had whispered after.
Kyoutani’s heart had seized, “Good. Because I’m definitely in love with you.” he had responded, his voice sounding more affected by his words than he had hoped for.
“How romantic.” Yahaba has teased as he slowly leaned in to give Kyoutani one more gentle kiss on the lips.