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This isn't how it was supposed to go. The kid is green. He was so excited for his first on field experience. I was supposed to protect him.
He looks over at me, his eyes narrowing in on the wound in my shoulder, then moving up to my eyes. I can hear the sounds of bullets flying past our makeshift cover. I look at him, my chest heaving, focusing on the wound in his lower abdomen. I look up into his eyes.
Everything seems to move in slow motion.
They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die, but im not dying, not yet.
I think of my ex-wife, the love we shared that quickly died out. Our son, who kept us together, his death that drove us apart for good.
And I think of him.
This young rookie who saved my life more than once, in more ways than one. who has the most deep and expressive brown eyes i have ever seen. I thought i could never love again. I tried not to. But this man, 20 years my junior, carved himself a place in my old, cold heart.
I check my revolver, even though i already know. One bullet left. He watches me, knows the conclusion. Such a good detective, already.
"Lieutenant..."
"Yeah,"
He grabs the hand not holding the revolver,
"I've been counting his shots, he has three left"
"No." I can't let him risk his life, not now, not like this.
Two shots ring out,
He grabs my revolver,
I hear two more shots,
"Connor!" My voice sounds distant in my own ears, a consistent ringing flooding my senses.
I never told him. Not that he would ever feel the same.
But even worse, I couldn't protect him.
I crawl over to him, he's on the ground, next to the suspect.
I reach out my hand to hold his face,
"Connor... I'm so sorry, kid"
Tears are stinging my eyes,
Suddenly, those deep brown eyes are on mine.
"Lieutenant," There’s a hand in my hair, my own hand curls around the back of his neck.
"I'm fine Lieutenant. The suspect is down."
I pull him up by the back if his neck, his face pressed into my clavicle.
"Dont ever, ever scare me like that again, you hear me? Ever!"
"I can't lose anything else... especially not you, Connor..."
Connor pulls away from me slightly, looking into my eyes.
"I'll never leave you."
He looks like he means it.
I lean down and press my lips to his.
Maybe its worth it.