Chapter Text
Remus was beginning to grow worried about his sister Octavia. Since Sirius’s attempt at Snape's life, she had begun to spiral, Remus was also spiraling but it seemed to hit her harder than it did him. She had begun to lock herself in her room, sleeping through half her classes and showing up late or simply not showing up at all. He rarely saw her in meals and frankly it worried him. He knocked on her door lightly.
“Go away,” the voice behind the door shouted angrily.
“Tav it’s me,” he begged, needing to see her because he hadn’t in at least two days, “can you please let me in? I just want to make sure you’re okay.” He had called her Tav since they were kids, he used to have a lisp when he was first learning to talk calling her “tavvie” and eventually Tav once they got a bit older. James picked up the name once he heard Remus calling her that.
“I’m fine Remus,” she hissed, “go away.”
“I’m worried about you,” he tried, “please.”
“Leave me alone Remus,” she yelled, “I’m fine. You can go.” On the other side of the door Octavia sat with her back pressed firmly to the door, blocking any attempt at entrance, she looked down at her hands, stained red from blood, and her arm its victim. She didn’t hear Remus walking away, just the sound of him sitting by the door as well, “I know you’re still there.” He heard her stomping to the bathroom attached to her dorm and slammed it shut. Remus heard her turn on the sink, originally thinking nothing of it, then he heard the shower turn on, then the retching sounds of Octavia throwing up. He began to worry, standing and banging on the door now.
“Tav open the door,” he begged, “please.” The silence scared him most. It was silent for about fifteen minutes before Octavia swung the door open.
“What do you want,” she hissed. Her eyes were red like she’d been either crying or high, or both. She had a very large hoodie on, she looked like she was rapidly losing weight. She hadn’t looked this bad since their mum's death. She starved herself to near death and didn’t sleep until she was in the hospital.
“Are you okay?” He was genuine. He was trying to help his sister but he wasn’t sure he could.
“I told you I’m fine,” she hissed. He smelled a strongly alcoholic smell on her breath.
“Are you drinking?”
“I just had a sip.”
“Tav it’s noon, why are you drinking right now?”
“It’s not that big of a deal.” With that she slammed the door in his face.
From an outside view she only got worse, she moved from isolating herself and not sleeping to drinking her pain away like she used to. Remus didn’t see her at meals anymore. She was beginning to fail every class, but wasn’t ever there to receive her detention. No one had seen her in days. It all came to its climax when he found her a week later in the stairway holding an empty bottle with another sitting beside her, long emptied and seemed to have been tossed over her shoulder.
“What the fuck,” he had hissed, pulling the bottle out of his sisters hand.
“Oh don’t be crass Remus, not all of us have a stick up our ass. It’s not like there’s classes tomorrow,” his sister giggled, clearly drunk.
He gritted his teeth. Remus gripped his sister by the arm, so mad he could barely see. He noticed her wince at the touch. He all but dragged her to the Gryffindor common room, James was sitting there and Octavia instantly took her chance at changing the subject.
“Hi Jamesie,” she said with fake cheerfulness. She wobbled to a halt, the room beginning to spin slightly.
“What’s wrong,” James questioned. He noticed the girls wobbly state, “are you okay?”
“Course, m’fine,” she slurred.
“Are you drunk,” James questioned.
“Yes she’s drunk, probably about to puke too if I had to guess,” Remus held tightly as Octavia was trying to squirm out of his grasp, “I know there’s something wrong and you better tell me because you’re going to kill yourself if you keep this up.” He pulled her to look at him.
“Fuck you,” she hissed, clearly shifting to red hot anger, “fuck you and your fucking boyfriend.” She jerked her arm out of Remus's grasp, “doesn’t matter what he fuckin does, long as he says sorry you go running right fuckin back to him.” Remus felt his mouth run dry. Her words were slurred together like they’d been squished into one another.
“Tav it’s not like that,” he tried to insist.
“The fuck it’s not, I know you two are still fucking because you don’t care what he does you’re always going to pick him,” she was making an attempt to shove past Remus now, trying to leave the common room but Remus stood in front of the portrait hole. There was an unfortunate creak of one of the stairs and Octavia turned to see none other than Sirius black walking down the stairs, woken up by the shouting.
“Mate I’d go back upstairs if I were you,” James advised, also making his way to the stairs.
“No. No, you don’t get to help him, he deserves to hear this too, it's about him,” Octavia shouted. She felt red hot tears pouring down her face.
“You’re going to wake everyone up,” Remus warned, “pads go upstairs I can deal with this.” Sirius was frozen with worry.
“This doesn’t just get to be about you anymore Remus,” she hissed, “he doesn’t get to make me maim someone and then get to be forgiven. But because of you he gets no consequences. It’s always about you and him.” She was crying now. Remus was trying to get her to lower her voice to no avail so James casted a silencing charm. She shoved Remus hard, all of her anger fizzling to the surface. ”it’s always about you two and your stupid fucking will they won’t they. My best friend made me nearly rip someone to shreds in the one time I can’t control myself not to. My best friend didn't even try to apologize to me because he was too busy worrying about you. And you left me for him when he apologized to you and I had to deal with it all alone.”
“You’re not the only one who’s had to deal with shit Octavia,” Remus finally spoke, “just because you can’t get over it doesn’t mean you get to be the victim.”
“Fuck you Remus, you’re a dick,” she slurred, “and you know what?” Both siblings were red in the face, and James and Sirius could do nothing but watch the two fight it out hoping to get to a conclusion. As the fight continued they were both basically screaming in each other's faces. They had witnessed the siblings fight before but this was the worst they’d seen in two years.
“What?”
“You’re going to be alone by the age of thirty because your boyfriend just proved to you he’s exactly what his parents raised him to be.” Sirius gasped at her declaration.
It happened before anyone could register it, and the second it registered Remus's face was filled with guilt. Remus had shoved her and in her drunken state it caused her to land on her back with her hoodie beginning to raise up at the sleeves. Her arms were wrapped in thick bandages, and seemed to be soaked through with old blood.
“What’s that,” he questioned. His voice shook and he looked like he would cry. Octavia didn’t answer. Dizzy from the drinking and her fall that caused her to hit her head, or maybe it was the handful of pain meds she had taken from Lily's trunk. She thought she would fall asleep, letting her eyes slip closed a bit, “Tav? Oh god we have to get her to the infirmary right now.”