Chapter Text
Hapon ng Biyernes, Pebrero, nang maglakad si Haechan sa kahabaan ng Magsaysay Avenue para kumain ng kanyang tanghalian sa A2. Alas-dos na ng hapon natapos ang kanyang lab works sa Lagmay. Partida, ni umagahan ‘di pa siya lumalamon. Kaya naman dali-dali siyang lumabas pagkatapos ng kanyang klase dahil kumukulob na ang tiyan niya.
Wala na siyang susunod na klase kaya naisipan niyang mag-library nalang sa Plaridel pagkatapos kumain.
“Isa nga pong Daegu,” Ani ni Haechan habang inaabot niya ang kanyang bayad.
Binuksan niya ‘yung cellphone niya at nakita ang sandamakmak na notifications mula sa kanyang dalawang orgs, acad gcs, at emails. Kinuha ng binata ang kanyang order at tsaka kumain sa pinaka-malapit na lamesa.
Matiwasay niyang nginunguya ang kaniyang pagkain nang bigla may dumukot ng kanyang tinidor at kinagat ang isang chicken.
“Ay tangina ugali,” Bigkas nito nang mapatingin siya sa kaniyang kanan.
Tumawa habang ngumunguya ang kaniyang nakatatandang kaibigan mula sa CBA, si Mark.
Noon pa man no’ng nag-aapply ang nakababata sa JFEC, usap-usapan na kung gaano kasikat ang nakatatanda. Lahat na ng biyaya inangkin nito, mula sa maayos na work ethics, kagalingan sa sports, at higit sa lahat, ang kanyang katalinuhan. Wala pang mas mababang marka sa 1.75 ang nakukuha niya sa mga kinukuha nitong klase; kung kaya’t running siya for Summa Cum Laude.
Sinungaling lang ang hindi mapapanganga sa galing ni Mark.
“That angry?” Mark chuckled as he chewed on Haechan’s chicken.
“Tangina mo pala e, pera mo ‘yan?” Minsan nagugulat nalang si Haechan na kaya niyang mura-murahin ang nakatatanda dahil presidente si Mark ng JFEC. At si Haechan? Isa lamang siyang member nito. Kahit kailan, p’wedeng siraan ng nakatatanda ang nakababata kung gugustuhin niya ‘yun.
“Anyway, are you going to the party on 29?”
“Sagot mo entrance?” Mabilis na sumagot si Haechan habang kinakain ang paubos niyang order.
“Okay. Just give me your food right now,”
“Ano ka chix?” Umirap si Haechan at tumawa ang nakatatanda. “Ano pala ginagawa mo dito? Hindi ba’t may klase ka?”
“Prof canceled last minute. Wasted gas.”
“Deserve,” Haechan smirked as he finished his meal.
“Anyway, do you have plans this afternoon?” Mark asked as Haechan was packing his things up, ready to walk to the library.
“Lib lang. CMC,”
“Okay, I’ll bring you there,”
“Tangek, ‘wag na. Ikaw na mismo nagsabi na sayang gas.”
“I insist.” Alam ni Haechan na wala na siyang kawala, kaya he just accepted the older’s offer. Sometimes, Haechan wondered why Mark was even his friend. If anything, Mark was beyond his league, and the fact that the older was treating him well confused him. This was one of those moments that made his heart skip a beat and made him ask himself if he was getting attached to the older.
“Fine,” Naglakad sila at pumunta sa kotseng naka-side parking.
“Ikaw, sa’n ka?”
“Going to the lib,” Mark said.
“Which lib?” Haechan furrowed his brows.
“Are you dumb? Of course I’m coming with you!” Mark laughed as they put their seatbelts on.
Haechan just looked out the window, once again trying to reconcile all his thoughts. Moments like this were what slowly made him grow attached to someone. Tumatakbo ang isipan niya kung mabait lang ba talaga ang nakatatanda, o kung may mas malalim na dahilan.
Haechan really doesn’t like assuming, but he can’t help wondering if the older treats other people this nicely as well. If yes, then why was the older with him? In fact, he couldn’t even give anything to Mark other than his company. Haechan saw their friendship as not mutually beneficial—especially for the older.
“Mark,” Ani ni Haechan nang tumingin siya sa mukha ni Mark habang nagmamaneho.
“Hmm?”
“Wala,” Haechan shook his head. Alam niyang katangahan kung itutuloy niya ang kaniyang tanong kung bakit ang bait bait niya sa kaniya.
After their 1-minute drive, Mark parked his car and carried his things.
“‘Til what time ka?” Haechan asked.
“Depends. Probably after I finish my paper for KAS. You?” Mark answered as they were walking to the library.
“Hmm, 5 pa kasi nagsasarado lib, so baka hanggang magsara. Punta nalang ako Magin mamaya, kakape nalang bago umuwi sa apartment.”
Mark and Haechan settled inside the library, and both started doing their own things. Hindi mapigilan ni Haechan na sumulyap-sulyap sa nakatatanda, kung ga’no ito kagwapo habang gumagawa ng requirements. Haechan could only wish his future boyfriend could be as perfect as Mark.
He knew to himself that Mark was straight, with plenty of jaw-dropping women lining up for him.
Haechan often thought about the time Mark showed him his ex-girlfriend. He was left shocked by how gorgeous Tina was. Mark told him they broke up because Tina didn’t want a long-distance relationship since she was migrating to Sydney. Haechan’s thought process was that if Tina had never left the picture, and Mark loved her that much, they would still be together.
This alone crushed Haechan.
Hindi niya mapigilan na ikumpara ang sarili niya. The mere fact that he found Mark attractive—and actually liked him—made him feel disgusted with himself. That’s why Haechan was trying to avoid Mark, making himself quieter and more unlikable, so he could stay detached from the older, fearing that if he got too attached, he wouldn’t be able to pull away in the future.
But sometimes, he couldn’t help making little advances just to be with Mark a little longer.
Haechan looked away, focusing on his paper, and when he glanced back at Mark, the older was laughing as he typed.
“Tawang-tawa?” Haechan asked, smiling at the older.
“Nahh, Erin just sent me a TikTok meme,” Mark said, still quietly laughing in the library.
“Ahh, really?” Haechan laughed as Mark showed him the video. He giggled, feeling his heart pierce at the same time.
Erin liked Mark. And it was obvious during their monthly general assemblies.
With someone as flawless as Erin, it was highly likely that the older would like her back. “Yeah, she’s funny.” Mark looked back at his cellphone as he typed, continued chatting the girl.
After Mark finished typing, he saw the younger packing his things.
“Oh? It’s still 4 PM,” Mark said. “Are you leaving me already?”
“Sorry, Mark. Ah, meron lang kailangan asikasuhin sa org.” Haechan hurriedly slung his bag over his shoulder, feeling the air too heavy to focus on his work.
“Huh? But you literally finished everything already?”
“Other org, SUP.”
“You’re lying.” Mark laughed as he grabbed Haechan’s arms.
“P’wede ba, urgent lang.”
“Okay, just let me drive you there.”
“‘Wag na. Nag-book na ‘ko ng Angkas.” While Mark was talking to Erin, Haechan immediately booked a ride, unable to bear watching a potential relationship unfold right in front of him. He knew it was shitty of him to just leave Mark, pero ang pag-alis niya lang sa kanyang kinatatayuan ang tanging paraan para makahinga.
“Okay. Send me your Angkas live tracker,” Mark sternly asked, still holding onto the younger.
“Oo na! Oo na!” Pumiglas si Haechan sa mariin na pagkahawak sa kaniya ng nakatatanda at dali-dali pumunta sa motor na naghihintay sa labas.
In his mind, Haechan thought, ‘Tangina, nakahinga rin.’ He couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of his own feelings. He had booked a ride to Vertis North—where one of his friends lived nearby anyway.
Nag-message si Haechan kay Wax para magkita sa baba ng kaniyang condo at magkape. Nagbaka-sakali si Haechan na darating si Wax, at buti nalang biglang may kumalabit sa kaniya.
“Tangina, random mo.” Tumawa si Wax.
“Kailangan ko lang ng kasama gumawa ng reqs.”
“Studious ah, kala ko ba sa library ka lang nakakagawa?”
“Basta, tangina.” Nag-order na si Haechan at pumunta sa table kung sa’n sila naupo. Walang klase si Wax tuwing Biyernes kaya nasipot niya ang nakababata.
“Kamusta si boss babe?”
“Kadiri tangina! P’wede ba?” Haechan typed forcefully on his laptop, irritated at the thought of Mark once again.
“Taray mo iwan kita dito eh,” Umirap si Wax sabay tawa nang makita ang napipikong kaibigan. Pinicturan nalang ni Wax si Haechan at stinory sa Instagram, tutal ayaw rin naman siyang pansinin nito.
After three hours of meaningless small talk with Wax, Haechan finally finished his paper.
“In fair din dito kay Mark, ang bilis mag-view ng story kanina.”
“Ano meron?” Umirap si Haechan nang marinig na naman ang pangalan. Pinakita ni Wax ang kaniyang cellphone nang makita ang story nito.
“PUTANGINA MO!” Galit na sigaw ni Haechan nang makita ang kaniyang litrato.
“Ha? Ano meron? Okay naman ah!”
Hindi masabi ni Haechan na tinakbuhan niya si Mark dahil walang ideya si Wax na madalas silang nagkikita ng matanda. Walang tao sa JFEC ang nakaka-alam nito. Alam ni Wax na nag-uusap silang dalawa, pero wala itong alam kung gaano ito kadalas.
Binuksan ni Haechan ang kaniyang cellphone nang makita na walang notification mula kay Mark. Inisip nalang ni Haechan baka napindot lang at hindi na pinansin ni Mark ang story ni Wax.
“Ah wala. Paalam ka nalang sa susunod, tangina ka rin eh.”
“In fairness sayo ha, ginawa mo ‘kong taga-bantay habang gumagawa ka ng reqs tapos mumurahin mo ko,”
“Sorry na,” Tumawa si Haechan, “Ano bang gusto mo, libre ko na.”
“Over sa bribery.”
“O edi wag,”
Matapos ang kanilang maikling pagkikita nagbook na muli si Haechan papunta sa kaniyang apartment sa Maginhawa. Pagka-baba niya ng gamit, naligo lang siya nang saglit nang biglang tumunog ang kaniyang cellphone.
INCOMING VIDEO CALL: MARK
“Tangina,” Tinignan lang ni Haechan ang kaniyang cellphone. Hindi niya kayang sagutin. Just when he thought Mark had finished calling his phone once, it rang again.
INCOMING VIDEO CALL: MARK
Hindi niya muli sinagot at nakita ang chat.
Mark: I know you’re online
Alam niyang wala na siyang kawala. Nag-ayos lang siya saglit at siya na mismo ang nag-ring kay Mark.
“Sorry, naliligo.” “Really?” Mark turned his camera on, prompting the younger to do the same.
“Ge, ayaw maniwala.” Haechan turned his camera on, his hair still damp and wet.
“So, how was the ‘org’?” Mark smirked as he looked at Haechan.
“It was okay.”
“Is dating Wax the urgent org requirement?” Haechan flushed at Mark’s question.
“Ah. After nung meeting ko with Gel and Mie for SUP, dumiretso ako kay Wax,” Dali-daling nag-isip si Haechan ng kasinungalingan.
“How many lies are you going to tell tonight?”
“I’m not.”
“I just saw them at UPTC. What are you on? You could’ve just said if you’re avoiding me.” Mark looked at Haechan with a concerned expression.
“Look, I’m sorry. I swear hindi ako galit sa’yo or anything. I just had to meet Wax because it’s been a while since I saw him.” Haechan knew this was a half-lie. It was true that it had been weeks since he saw Wax, but it didn’t need to be urgent.
“Why? Are you guys dating?” Mark asked, clearly annoyed.
“Hindi!” Mabilis na sabi ni Haechan.
“Okay. I just don’t know why you had to lie earlier. But okay, at least I know you’re safe. You didn’t even send your Angkas tracker.”
Isip-isip ni Haechan: ‘Ayan na naman. Tangina. Alam na alam mo kung paano ako kunin eh.’ Haechan felt himself blushing at Mark’s words, but deep down, he knew it was wrong.
“I’m sorry, okay? Ikaw, musta ka? Si Erin?” Nadulas sabihin ni Haechan ang pangalan ni Erin.
“Huh? What about her?”
“Ah, wala. ‘Di ba kausap mo kanina?” Haechan was dying inside as he asked Mark this question, feeling his stomach flip upside down.
“Ah yeah, we stopped talking after you left,” Mark answered. “Well, anyway, after you left I just ate with Kali and Rex at UPTC when I saw Gel and Mie from your other org.”
Nahiya si Haechan nang marinig muli ang kaniyang pagsisinungaling mula kay Mark.
“Sorry na, okay?”
“Dude, don’t think about it,” Mark laughed. “By the way, I already bought you a ticket.”
“HA?” Haechan screamed at his screen.
“Bro, February 29 only comes around every four years. Give it a chance!”
Hindi agad nakasagot si Haechan. Nakatingin lang siya sa screen ng laptop niya, sa mukha ni Mark na tila ba walang kamalay-malay sa bagyong binubuo sa dibdib niya.
“Mark,” mahinang tawag niya, “‘Di mo dapat ginagawa ‘yan.”
“What do you mean?” Mark asked, furrowing his brow. “Buying you a ticket?”
“Malamang. Hindi mo naman ako tinanong.” Pilit na tinatapatan ni Haechan ng normal na tono ng boses si Mark kahit kumakabog ang dibdib niya. He was trying to maintain his composure, careful not to let it show that his feelings were consuming him.
Mark shrugged. “Bruh, I know you. If I ask you to go, you’ll say you’re busy. If I buy you a ticket, you’ll find ten reasons not to go. I might as well force you.”
Haechan knew this was true—he wasn’t really fond of parties.
“Tangina mo ah! Red flag ka rin e.” Haechan said, trying to joke, but the corner of his lip was trembling.
“If this was a date, probably,” Mark said, leaning closer to the camera. “But, c’mon man, this is just a party. Org party. Everyone’s invited.”
Tumahimik sandali si Haechan. Alam niyang pwede naman siyang umatras. Alam niyang pwede naman niyang ibalik ‘yung ticket, magpalusot, umiwas muli. Pero may parte sa kanya na ayaw. Na gusto niya ring sumama, kahit p’wede siyang masaktan sa dulo.
“Fine,” buntong-hininga niya. “Pero utang na loob, last na ‘yan.”
Mark smiled, soft, almost relieved. “Deal.”
Pagkatapos ng kanilang maikling tawag, napahiga si Haechan sa kama, nakatitig sa kisame. Kasisimula palang ng Pebrero, pakiramdam niya ubos na siya.
This is going to end badly, bulong ng isip niya. At kahit alam niya ‘yon, hindi niya pa rin kayang umatras.