Work Text:
>Lynn Loud was not like most girls.
>By that I mean most girls couldn't sack a 250 pound man.
>That's what made her announcement that she had a boyfriend so shocking.
>Most of her siblings laughed it off, the ones who didn't were happy for her.
>Both sides of the argument wanted to meet him though.
>So Lynn invited him over, and the family anxiously waited to meet this guy that Lynn wouldn't shut up about.
>Lynn stood in front of her family, by the door.
>"Alright everyone, are you ready to meet the strongest, fastest, toughest guy I've ever met?"
>Lynn pulls open the door to reveal...
>A boy who looked exactly like Lynn, but with shorter hair, even had the same number 1 jersey.
>He stood smiling proudly with his fists on his hips.
>"Everyone, this is Lynn!" The girl excitedly yelled.
>"Yeah but what's he call himself?" Luan cracks.
>"Lynn Lad, can you believe it? I meet the perfect girl, and she's got such a cool name too!"
>The Lad lad gives the Loud girl a kiss on her cheek, making her blush hard.
>She playfully punches him and calls him an idiot.
>"Well, Lynn, why don't you stay for dinner?" Rita asks awkwardly
>"I'd love to Mrs.Loud, but I already invited Lynn over for dinner and my family really wants to meet her."
>"Especially my sister Linka, I mean, she's the only girl in a family of ten boys."
>The whole Loud family tenses up when they hear that as Lynn and Lynn start racing away.
>Lincoln looks at Lisa and points accusingly.
>"Did you have something to do with this?"
>As weird as the relationship between Lynn and.. Lynn was, the two got along great.
>Punching brothers, playing sports, dutch ovening each other, they just had so much in common.
>Kinda cheating since they were practically the same person.
>They were even both juniors!
>Still they spent a lotta time together, everyday one of them would hang out at the other's house.
>Lane/Luan had both made a "buy one get one free" joke at the young couple's expense without either of them noticing.
>So one night, Boy Lynn stays for dinner, and after hearing about this Lad family for so long, Dad Loud comes up with a great plan.
>"Say Lynn"
>"Yeah Dad?"
>"Not you junior, Boy Lynn"
>"Yeah Mr.L?"
>"How's about you and your family come over this Saturday for a barbecue?"
>This action was supported by the rest of the Louds of course, they were curious too.
>"That'd be awesome Mr.L, oh but is it okay if my brother brings his girlfriend? 'She's gonna be family one day' " Lynn quotes his brother
>Lori looks up from her dinner with a gasp, that was the exact thing she says about Bobby!
>"The more the merrier, I'm sure Lori's going to invite Bobby over anyhow!"
>"Great! I'll run home and let them all know!"
>Boy Lynn quickly scarfs down his dinner, gives his girl a kiss on the cheek, and sprints out the door.
>The Louds finish their dinner in silence.
>Saturday was sure to be an interesting one.
>Saturday came in an instant and the Louds w/Bobby waited on the porch with bated breath.
>Their mouths hang open at what they soon see coming down the street.
>Imagine if you found a dodo, the only one of its kind, imagine if you kept that dodo with you wherever you went because there's nothing else like it.
>Now imagine some dude just walked down your street holding a dodo of his own like it was nothing.
>That's how the Louds felt when they saw a second Vanzilla, a red one instead of a green like theirs, driving down the street.
>The Female Vanzilla parks in front of the house. The silhouettes inside causing a ruckus.
>The Louds and Bobby move off of the porch and wind up standing in a line on the lawn to greet their guests
>The parents are the first ones out, they've got the same body as the Loud parents and similar outfits, but very different faces
>"Hey buddy, is that your van? She's a beauty, Ritt Lad" The father says as he shakes Dad Loud's hand
>"Lynn Loud Sr"
>"No kidding? That's my wife's name!"
>The wives exchange pleasantries of their own as the van doors open and a girl that looks like the female version of Bobby jumps out.
>"Bobby!" She greets excitedly
>"Bebe!" Bebe starts to drag what must be the oldest brother out and over to Lori and Bobby
>"Babe, this is my identical cousin Bebe/Bobby, Bebe/Bobby this is my boy/girlfriend Loki/Lori" The cousins say simultaneously.
>Loki and Lori look at each other uncomfortably before awkwardly shaking hands.
>The rest of the boys, and one girl, file out of the van and line up with their counterparts.
>Loni and Leni
>"I love your sunglasses!" They then go on to compliment every piece of the other's perfect outfit.
>Luna and Luke
>"Nice hawk dude"
>"Nice face mama" He says as he hits her with the single gun/wink.
>Luan and Lane
>"I'd make a joke about mirrors-"
>"But in reflection it wouldn't be funny" Lane starts to laugh and Luan starts to boil over the stolen joke.
>Lynn and Lynn are well acquainted
>We're skipping the middle children for now
>Lucy and Lars
>They both stare(?) at each other for a while before simultaneously sighing.
>Neither of them really want to be here and they understand that about each other.
>Leif and Lana
>They would say something to each other but they're both too busy staring at the other's twin
>Their mouths' hanging open
>"She/He's real purty" They both think like hillbillies.
>Lexx and Lola
>"That's a nice dress"
>"Why thank you"
>"Or at least it was ten years ago"
>"Nice scarf, you borrow it from your sister?"
>Both of them bare their shark teeth.
>Levi and Lisa
>These two are just observing their siblings interactions
>"Acrossh both gendersh, they're shtill shimpletonsh" Levi says, to which Lisa nods in agreement.
>"It can't be helped, good to shee I'm a geniush no matter the hardware"
>"You? A geniush? Preposhteroush! You're a girl!"
>No matter the IQ, every four year old boy thinks girls are dumb.
>Lily and Leon
>They're babies, they just babble and swing their little arms around in their mothers' arms
>I guess they're happy to see each other, but in a way that a dog is happy to see another dog.
>Now we'll move to the middle child
>Linka and Lincoln
>They stay quiet for a while, neither of them trying to look at each other.
>Eventually Lincoln decides he needs to break the ice.
>"I like your hair"
>After he says this, each Lad boy drops whatever conversation they were in or action they were doing and looks at Lincoln.
>Like a bunch of bullfrogs look at a worm.
>Linka starts to blush, puts her hands behind her back, and looks straight at the floor.
>"I like your hair too"
>Now all of the Loud girls mimic their counterparts to look at Linka.
>Their stare is not that of predators stalking prey however.
>It's more like how a meerkat stands straight up when they hear something interesting.
>But with a crocodile smile.
>"All right everyone, let's head into the backyard!" Both fathers call for their flock to return
>Both parties lie in wait for the perfect moment to strike their targets.
>They use the barbecue as camouflage for their actions.
>The perfect moment is when their dads start a grill fire.
>It happened at every Lad and Loud barbecue.
>Until then?
>Just enjoy the party, stick to your typical patterns, do what would help a serial killer get you,
>What do Lars and Lucy do when dragged to a party? Hide
>Coincidentally they choose the dark spot behind the tree and bump into each other, startling both of them.
>"So that's what it's like" They both think
>Lars is happy, or at least willing, to let Lucy take it but she scooches over to share it.
>"Thank you, I'm not a fan of parties" Lars says as he slides into place with his book
>"Neither am I, the human interaction.."
>"Conversations..."
>"Friendship, I can't stand it"
>Ironically, the two sit together and both read their crappy vampire books.
>Across the party, Bebe and Bobby are trying to talk Loki and Lori into a double date.
>"Sorry Boo-Boo Bear, it's just kinda awkward"
>"Boo-Boo Bear?! Pfft" Loki starts to laugh at the ridiculous pet name until Bebe wraps her arms around him.
>"I don't know what you're laughing at Loki Love Muffin" That shuts him up, but makes Lori laugh instead.
>In the farther reaches of the backyard, Lana and Leif are making heart-shaped mudpies for their new sweethearts.
>But then Lola's car drives by them, ruining both of their projects, followed by Lola herself.
>"That brat stole my car!"
>"I'll get it back for ya!" Leif takes off after the car, hoping to earn Lola's love, and Lana takes off hoping to catch Lexx.
>The Lynns are up fromt where the basketball hoop is playing horse, loser has to give up ten kisses.
>Luke spends his time trying to hit on Luna, never getting a hook in though.
>Both Linka and Lincoln sorta drift around the party, never staying in one spot.
>Almost as if they were waiting for something, but no, they just didn't have much to talk to anyone about
>Then...
>"AHH HONEY GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!"
>"Looks like things are-"
>"Heating up!" Lane steals another joke as Luan starts to grind her teeth.
>Can't be upset about that right now though, everyone has to get to their spots.
>Before Linka and Lincoln know what's happening they're both dragged to opposite sides of the house by a sea of hands.
>When they stop Linka sees the ten happy sisters, Lincoln sees the ten angry brothers. We'll focus on the brothers first.
>"What's the big idea twerp?" Loki says as he pokes Linc in the chest
>"Yeah why are you hitting on our sister?" Lexx asks from his stolen car
>"He's hitting our sister?! That's it!" Loni starts to roll up his sleeves.
>"Oi mate, not 'ittin, just flirting" Luke says in his cockney accent which he believed made him sound intimidating.
>"But that's still messed up! I don't care how hot your sister is!" Leif accidentally blurts
>"What?" The other brothers ask, preparing to tease.
>"I-I mean mud, lizards, and toilets! Yeah that's what I said!"
>The Lad boys look at him for a second but eventually accept the answer.
>"Hey wasn't there just a guy there?" Loni says pointing to the now empty spot where Lincoln used to be.
>He slipped away when they'd all turned toward a potential mocking target.
>Lincoln ran around and into the house, hoping to retreat to his room.
>But when he pushed through his door, there was already someone hugging Bun-Bun
>"Do you like our brother?" Was the first thing Linka heard, asked by the Loud rocker
>"W-what? I don't know" Linka's idk was due to confusion but the Loud girls all took it as yes idk.
>They all squeal with glee, even the emotionally dead ones like Lucy and Lisa.
>"Ooh, I'll get right to work on your wedding dress!" Leni says as she starts to measure the Lad girl
>"This is literally the cutest thing ever!"
>"I'm more accustomed to funerals, but I'd be honored to conduct the wedding"
>"Maybe it can be a double wedding between me and Lynn!"
>"Huh?"
>"I climbed into the window when your sisters started gushing over Lynn and Lynn."
>"So why'd you come to my room?"
>"This is where my room is in my house."
>"Oh right we're pretty much the same person" Lincoln thinks to himself
>"And I guess you hug Bun-Bun whenever you're feeling down too"
>"Bon-Bon, but Bun-Bun really helps."
>"Sorry about my sisters, they're always trying to meddle in my life"
>"Well at least they let you have one, my brothers are so over-protective I can't even look at boys."
>"Yeah I can see that" Lincoln recalls just a few minutes earlier.
>"I almost had a boyfriend once, but they scared him away"
>"I had a girlfriend, but their meddling caused me to drive her away"
>"And they tell you that they're just looking out for you."
>The Links sit quietly for awhile before Lincoln speaks again.
>"You know what? I think we both need to speak up."
>"What do you mean?"
>"We need to talk to our siblings, let them know how we feel!"
>"Let them know that they're the ones hurting us, you're right Lincoln!"
>After their talk, the Links confidently walked out into the backyard, where the two families were split down the middle.
>When one group moved to pounce, its now-confident Link somehow shut it down, creating peace within the families as Bobby and Bebe looked on confused.
>BBQ had to end early though, the combined incompetence of two Dads led to the fire ruining all the food.
>So we're back at the beginning, with everybody saying goodbye on the lawn instead of hello.
>"We've had our differences Luan but-"
>"We don't!" Luan finally steals a joke back
>"Umm Lola.." Leif begins nervously as Lola raises an eyebrow to him
>Leif quickly pecks Lola on the cheek before diving into the van.
>Lexx laughs at his counterpart trying to wipe off the kiss as she yells gross.
>Then Lana pecks him on the lips, sending him screaming into the van.
>And as the Lad family rides off into the sunset, Lincoln can only think of one thing
>Why did their dad wear pink?