Work Text:
I had always wanted to push this big red button.
Ever since I was younger, on a field trip around the station with my class, I wanted to. That big, unlabeled button tucked to the side of the Central Command Center, the CCC. It's just like kids to want to press mysterious red buttons, isn't it?
Back in the classroom, the contents of the Central Command Center were still a hot topic, yet to my surprise, the button that seemed to linger in my thoughts like a promise was never really brought up. When I finally mentioned it to Max, my closest friend who I swore would share my curiosity, he shot the idea down with a quick, “Well, my father said it wasn’t important.”
But that didn’t stop my curiosity.
Not many kids knew adults who worked in the CCC.
Max did, since his father held an important position on the ship’s governance team, one that Max was sure to inherit with how hard his father trained him for it. A few of the younger girls in my class knew adults as well, but not many. I was one of the other lucky few because of Jules.
In the following days, I had been so excited to see Jules, to ask him about the button. I was convinced Jules would know what it did. I was convinced he’d tell me everything about it, maybe even let me push it, just once, to see for myself what it did.
But when I finally asked a week later, his expression went cold.
“Charles,” he had said in a tone so serious compared to his usual demeanor that one could think someone had died. “Don’t ever think about pushing that button.”
And that was all I got for a long, long time.
Now, finding myself finally, finally, with my hand on that button, I thought back to his words.
I knew what it did, now, I guess.
Poor childhood me, with all the joy and whimsy I had, would be so disappointed to find out what it did.
Was I disappointed, now?
No.
I was excited.
Jules was gone, now. He wasn’t there to stop me.
Max was gone, too, turned into that perfect copy of his father, spending all his time buried in the workings of the station. If he wasn’t there to care for me anymore, who was he to stop me either?
So I remained, hand held down on that button, as the alarms began to blare.
You know, I thought my hand would shake as I held down the button to blow up the ship, to kill us all.
But it didn’t.
Not after everything.