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Always liked the color of my eyes 'til I knew she had brown
I'm green
Always liked my naïve innocence 'til I learned she got around
I'm green
Bea never considered herself a jealous person before him. Possessive? Yes. Intense? Also yes. But never jealous.
She didn’t really care what people did or who they did it with. She certainly couldn’t judge people for who they dated considering her track record.
And let’s be honest, she knew she was hot. Now some people might have thought that was conceited, but for Bea it was just a fact. Her face, her body, the way she dressed - all of that could be used to her advantage and she had absolutely no problem exploiting that. People were easily manipulated.
That was until him.
Samuel Harvey.
Stupid do-gooder who had no business being that hot.
After the Riven debacle, plus Rosalind’s not so graceful demise and her own traumatic brain injury - Bea was ready for things to go back to normal.
She had been placed at Alfea while the current term was on break since she so nicely became an orphan again. No where to go and no one to see, coupled with Silva now in charge meant that she was being coddled. It was a new feeling for her - letting someone else take care of her, but she had no options and she truly had gone to Alfea to sharpen her magic.
Sam happened to also be staying on campus since his dad was getting reacquainted with the greenhouse now that both men were moving back.
Bea had vague recollections of Sam from the two-ish years they went to school together, but now he seemed bigger - more imposing. There was a darkness to him now that was not there before and that drew her in quicker than she wanted to admit.
As the only two people at the school under 40, they were bound to see each other. Not to mention that the adults had their work to distract them. Call her a nerd if you want, but getting a head start on reading for the semester was something she actually enjoyed. She liked being ahead of the curve and knowing which concepts she was going to struggle with so she could dedicate her studies to that. Turns out Sam’s brush with toxic mind fairy magic made him more curious about the other elements as well. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know which authors were not biased in their writings and she had been all too happy to point out his research mistakes.
Sleeping together was a natural progression of their heated debates in the library at night.
That was simple. She was hot, he was hot - they had chemistry - so they might as well do something about it that made them both feel good.
But he wanted things Bea wasn’t familiar with.
He enjoyed cuddling. She would never admit the way her heart felt like it would burst every time she tried to leave but his arm would pull her closer instead. She didn’t have nightmares when she was caged in by him.
He liked whispered praises, both given and received as if they were secrets shared between the two of them. After seemingly doing so many things wrong this past year, being told she was doing good and taking it so well flipped a switch in her brain she hadn’t been aware of.
He liked intimacy - and Bea had never experienced something like that. She usually just fucked whoever she was attracted to and that was that. No feelings, no mess - just attraction.
But Sam wasn’t like her - he craved that intimacy, especially since he had been with Musa for a while.
Bea wondered if there was something different about being with a mind fairy - if there was something Musa did for Sam apart from the ill advised emotions drain. Maybe there was some way Musa was able to be with him that she would never fully understand.
If I got you, why does she still get me?
I hate to say it, but damn, she's pretty
Never known this shade of envy
Just tell me I'm your Emerald City
When the students came back Bea didn’t realize what it would be like to see Musa and Sam in the same place.
Musa came back stronger than before - both mentally and physically. She had been training with the specialists and with the bracelets to figure out how to control the depth of her magic so that it wouldn’t consume her.
Bea hated to admit that Musa looked better - hotter than before - and it seemed like she wasn’t the only one who noticed. Obviously Riven had something going on there, but she had heard a few of the fairies in her class talking about how badass Musa was for being the first person to be dual enrolled as a fairy AND a specialist.
And shit - that was badass.
Bea had caught Musa and Sam casually exchanging pleasantries in the hallway and she swore she wasn’t going to bring it up, but curiosity killed the cat or whatever the earth saying was.
“So Musa…?” She mused one night in Sam’s bed. She was laying on his chest tracing imaginary patterns while his arms were wrapped around her.
“Musa…” He breathed out as if it were a sigh. Bea tried to leave it there. Obviously, he did not want to speak about it and that was fair. It wasn’t like they were exclusive - even though they were because no one else pulled her in like Sam did. They never talked about their relationship, or what it meant and maybe that was her fault, but he could have also broached the subject,
Quietly she laid her head down on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. “Did you miss her?” The uptick of his heart beat was enough of an answer for her before he could say anything out loud.
“Not right now.” Well that was a non-answer.
She told herself that was enough for now because she was slowly drifting off to sleep and if this thing wasn’t going to last she was going to wring every ounce of comfort out of it before she had to go back to sleeping alone and the nightmares that would find her.
If she texts in the middle of the night when we′re laying in the bed
Is it green?
Wish I was cool like a shade of blue but her lips are red
And I'm green
When she woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, promising a mostly asleep Sam that she would be right back, she should have tried to just keep her eyes as closed as possible to ensure that she could actually go back to sleep.
On her way back from his bathroom she noticed his phone light up and then light up again.
Squinting, she walked over to it thinking maybe Alfea or Terra was having some type of emergency since who else would be trying to contact Sam Harvey at 2:37 am.
But it wasn’t Terra or Professor Harvey texting Sam. It was Musa and it looked like another text had just come in.
“You’re taking too long.” Sam grumbled flinging his hand out to try and bring her back to bed.
“You’re getting texts.” She took a deep breath trying to remain neutral.
“Dad? Terra?” Sam sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
“Nope.” She popped the ‘p’ as she gave him his phone. Scrubbing his hand down his face he signed and reached for his glasses.
Once he realized who was texting him, he looked up at her, “We don’t - she doesn’t normally - let me just check -” He swiped open his phone reading whatever was on the screen. Green text messages - just another difference between Bea and Musa.
“Shit, her car broke down on the way home from Blackbridge - Riven and Sky are on a mission - I -” He looked up at her and then back at the phone. “I don’t know what to do here.”
“Sam…” She started.
“It doesn’t mean anything - me going to get her- it doesn’t mean anything.” He clarified as he stood up and scooped his shirt off the ground where she had flung it hours ago.
Of course it means something, she wanted to shout. That ugly jealous feeling settled over her again.
Why couldn’t she just be cool with it? Why couldn’t she just send him off to save his beautiful ex-girlfriend in the middle of the night like some stupid hero? And really nothing she said right now was going to stop him.
So she just pursed her lips and nodded.
Sam came over and cupped the back of her head to bring her in for a kiss. “Will you be here when I get back?” He switched to a whisper.
She shook her head, if he wasn’t here she had no reason to be. She could go back to her lonely little single room and try to figure out where in her history her predisposition for not processing intimacy came from.
If I got you, why does she still get me?
I hate to say it, but damn, she′s pretty
Never known this shade of envy
Just tell me I'm your Emerald City
Here’s the thing about jealousy, you can be jealous of someone and not hate them. She was jealous of Musa and Sam and the connection they had - but that didn’t mean she hated Musa. Musa didn’t deserve her hate. She never wanted to be a mind fairy and she couldn’t imagine not only having to deal with her own feelings, but everyone else’s as well. She hated some of Musa’s actions - that was the difference. Bea hated that Musa tried to tamper down Sam’s emotions. She liked that he was fiercely protective of his family. She liked that he was a little wild and dark sometimes. It didn’t scare her the way it must have scared or stressed out Musa. Maybe Bea would have felt different if they were still under Rosalind’s regime and Sam’s outward defiance could have cost her everything. But at the moment, she had nothing left to lose besides him.
This was the first time she cared about someone not out of obligation. Andreas was like a father to her and she did love him - but would she have felt the same way had he been more truthful with her? Rosalind had always been cold and harsh - unyielding like Andreas said. Her obligations to them came from a twisted circumstance that led to her being in their care.
Stella had been as close to a real friend as Bea had. But she liked seeing that the princess wasn’t perfect underneath it all. She liked knowing that the people around her were as twisted as she was - they just hid it better. Since the blood witch attack, Stella had been helpful in trying to locate her sisters, but was that because she really thought they were friends or she had thought that Bea was going to die that day?
Riven had been tempting from the start. Hot and easy to please. He wanted approval and to feel important. He would never admit it, but he wanted to be better than Sky. Riven had a glow up from nerd to sexy, but he couldn’t quite seem to make it out of Sky’s shadow until he decided to be a bad boy. Musa had been good for him, putting him in his place and reminding him how much he loved training. Riven had been cordial if they were forced to interact, but neither of them had truly wanted to open the can of worms that was their entanglement.
And well Dain wanted Riven and the quickest way for him to get Riv, had been through Bea. Dain was still a cocky asshole - too scared to show the world who he really was. He pretended like he didn’t care about the people around him but she knew that he did. He cared too much about what people thought of him and what his legacy would be. He wanted to be the best and yes, he did care about his boyfriend, but was that just a substitute for the person he really wanted?
Everyone was carefully positioned in the chess board of Bea’s mind. She could tell you things about them that they might not even know about themselves. Except for Sam. She didn’t know where he fit and where she fit with him. She knew he picked on Terra a little too much growing up and that he still felt guilty about it. She knew that even though he was an earth fairy, he liked to work with materials like metal more than the typical flower and dirt loving that was associated with earth fairies. He didn’t care much for sports, but instead like the statistics that went along with it. He had this one stupid curl that formed on the right side of his head and it refused to be tamed.
He was scared of himself- she knew that too. He had been prepared to kill Rosalind the day of the alumni banquet and most people would have felt guilty about that, but he didn’t. He was worried that made him a bad person - being willing to hurt another person. He worried about his temper and did everything in his power to stay as calm as possible. She had seen glimpses of the fire in his eyes in the beginning when they would be arguing in the library until ultimately one of them would be pushed against the shelves or spread across a table.
And even though he might not like those parts of himself - she did. She liked that he had that spark - that he wasn’t just mellowed out. She found herself even liking his grandpa activities like doing a crossword sometimes before bed. One time he had even drawn her a cross word puzzle with questions about the history of Alfea. What a nerd. She had gotten them all correct, so maybe that made her a nerd too.
If she understood all this about him, what did he understand about her? What insights did he have that she didn’t even know?
I′m not crazy (not crazy)
I'm just a girl, kinda jealous, kinda insecure
And I hate how (I hate how) it takes me
Down an old road where she used to be yours
And it′s tough to admit it, but it might break me
Let me know you hate to see me hurt
She knew avoiding Sam was petty and would come back to bite her in the ass. Honestly, she should have known better than to take the bus to Blackridge by herself with a storm rolling in. She could feel the electricity in the air and see the way that the dark clouds were coming in. This was when she usually felt the most powerful, but instead she was stuck at the bar in Blackridge by herself because the bus stopped running and she didn’t exactly feel like trekking it back to Alfea like this.
Playing with the napkin didn’t distract her enough, tapping on the bar didn’t either - she was feeling antsy.
If she were normal she would have sucked it up and called Sam. He would probably come and get her. It was only 7:00 p.m. and if he could go help Musa in the middle of the night then he could surely make the tri-
“This seat taken?” As if her thoughts conjured him, Sam was taking the bar stool next to her.
“How did you…?” She wracked her brain trying to remember if she said anything to him about making the trip out here.
He just shrugged, “I do know you, you know? What better place to avoid me than a different town.”
“I wasn’t avoiding you.” Bea scrunched her nose up, annoyed that he actually did know her.
“Do you finally wanna talk about her?” He flagged the bartender down and ordered a refill for her and his own beer.
“Who?”
“So that’s how you’re gonna play it.” He took a sip of his beer and just waited. The storm outside raged on, while they both stared straight ahead.
“She’s beautiful.” Bea finally said.
“She is.”
“And I never really got the true story - I mean everyone was talking about it - but if you made some type of promise to wait for each other or whatever people in love do then I definitely deserve to know, especially if something happened while you were picking her up the other night.” Sighing she looked over at Sam and found he was already looking at her. If this was what vulnerability felt like it sucked ass.
“You- Bea, are you jealous?” He had the audacity to smirk as she narrowed her eyes at him and sent the tiniest little zap of electricity towards him, which somehow made him smile wider.
“Why do you look so happy about that?”
“Because that means you care.” Now it was her time to roll her eyes.
“Of course I care, we are sleeping together.” She huffed as he hooked his leg on her chair and dragged her closer so she was bracketed by his legs.
“Just sleeping?” He tugged a piece of her hair.
“Samuel.” Gods she wished she had a better comeback for him. But how could he not see that she cared almost too much about this thing.
“Beatrix.” He pulled her in for a simple kiss. “Storms clearing up. You ready to come home?” He fished money out of his wallet and put it down on the bar.
“Home? I don’t have one of those anymore.”
“You sure about that? Pretty sure Terra and Stella have both been texting you to make sure you were safe before they showed up at my door thinking you were there.”
“Busy bodies.” She shook her head, so that was how he found her.
“Friends.” He corrected her.
“I don’t - I don’t have many friends.” She stood up, thinking that was the end of the conversation as Sam stood up too. Except he hovered over her, bringing one hand to her face to make her look at him, while the other brought her closer.
“I’m not sure anyone has ever said this to you - and I am happy to be the first - we want you here. I want you here. All of us, we - I - don’t care if you're prickly or avoidant or whatever adjective you want to use. Alfea is your home and you are one of us. You were willing to die for my sister and her friends and the fate of the realm. I don’t want you to question that, ever. You deserve to be here. I want you here - and screw anyone that’s ever pushed you away. I see you and you’re a little scared right now and maybe a little bruised too - but that’s okay. Terra always tells me the bruised fruit is usually the sweetest.”
“Had to bring it back to fruit? Typical earth fairy.” She teased, trying to lighten the mood. No one had ever said that to her. That she was wanted here. She knew she had a purpose when she had enrolled - but Andreas and Rosalind were captaining the ship. Now, she was in charge of what happened to her.
He kissed her forehead before threading their fingers together and leading her out to his car.
'Til one day (one day), it won't phase me (won′t phase me)
But thinking about you, thinking about her
I′m good as gold, but when she's around
My true color comes out (out, out)
She had tried to be cool after everything.
Sam wanted her here.
Sam wanted her here.
Sam wanted her here.
Sam wanted her here.
Funny how that sentence had been playing over and over again in her head for the following week.
Terra had shown her this weird love language thing that Bloom had shown them before she ran off to the realm of darkness and maybe there was something to the whole words of affirmation thing.
Interesting.
Then Sam and Musa were paired up in specialist/fairy training.
It should have made her happy that they worked horribly together. They couldn’t communicate effectively and each jumped in front of danger to shield the other from getting hurt, which was annoying for Bea but also not the way that a pairing should work.
She could see Riven was frustrated too. Barking out orders to Musa like she was a first year, which technically she might have been. Both Sam and Musa were mad and frustrated and when Bea saw Musa’s hand start to go towards Sam’s bicep, while her eyes were tinged purple, she couldn’t help herself but zap the mind fairy before she had a chance to fuck with Sam’s head.
“What the fuck Bea?” Musa shook out her hand.
“Don’t try to mind fairy him right now.” She stomped over, which meant Riven was also coming over.
“I was just gonna-” Musa held her hands up.
“He doesn’t need your help. Have you learned nothing? Just let him fucking feel something!” Bea hadn’t consciously stepped forward into Musa’s space, but she did. Lucky for everyone, by the time she realized how close she had gotten, she was being pulled away by Sam’s arms around her middle.
“C’mon sparky.” Sam ushered her away.
“You know I fucking hate that nickname.” she grumbled as she let Sam lead her towards the gardens.
“Perfect, now we both can be pissed.” He said as he continued to lead her further away from where people could see them.
Once he dropped her hand he started pacing and running his hands through his hair looking stressed.
“You know you’re not supposed to use your magic on your peers.” He looked over at her. That fire was back in his eyes.
“You could say the same thing to her.” Bea crossed her arms.
“She wasn’t going to-”
“She was. Her eyes were purple.” Bea cut him off.
Now he looked even more pissed as he clenched her jaw.
“You wanna be mad? Be fucking angry - at her, at the training exercise - at any thing that you want.”
“I just don’t understand. We dated for a year, she stood by me while I was dying - and then she fucking manipulates me with her magic!” And there went a tree splitting in half.
“Shit Bea-” Sam started to apologize, hands raised in a placating gesture.
Rolling her eyes, Bea flipped her wrist and a bolt of lightning came down.
He looked at the burned spot on the ground.
“Your powers don’t scare me Sam. You losing control doesn’t scare me. Scream, kick, rip down some trees, hell burn the forest down if you want. I can hand you the match - but for fucks sake feel something.” She looked at him, his chest moving with every deep breath he took before he shook his hands out and approached her and grabbed her head bringing her into a biting kiss.
She fought him for dominance, pouring her frustration into the kiss too. Gods she wanted to feel something too. The jealousy was there, along with her anger, but there was something new too.
Something that felt good. This burning feeling of love and care.
Sam wasn’t perfect and neither was she, but they could be imperfect together.
“Fuck, Bea.” Sam practically whimpered.
“I know.” She replied hoping he understood.
If I got you, then baby, kiss me (kiss me)
Tell me that you think I′m so damn pretty
Double down that you'll end up with me (that you′ll end up with me)
Just tell me I'm your Emerald City (I′m good as gold, but when she's around)
(My true color comes out)
“You never kiss me in public.” She blurted out as he simply raised an eyebrow at her. They were studying in the courtyard, the tables around them mostly empty. She wasn’t exactly Miss Popular and her reputation hadn’t flipped so drastically that people forgot she operated as Rosalind’s bitch.
“Do you want me to?"
“Do you want to?” She countered.
“Is this the part where we finally talk about our relationship?” Sam closed his books and looked at her. She sent him an unimpressed look. “I’ll repeat, do you want me to kiss you in public?” He cocked his head.
Taking a deep breath she then exhaled, “I wouldn’t be opposed.” She scrunched up her lips.
“Well that’s not a ringing endorsement.” Now Sam was sending her an unimpressed look.
“I don’t want you to do something you aren’t comfortable with.” It’s not like they were a secret, they just weren’t explicit with what their relationship actually was. The people around them knew they were spending time together.
“Wait - you think I don’t kiss you in public because of me?”
“Well, you haven’t exactly said anything about it and I know the thing with Musa was all weird.” She makes a hand gesture trying to show what a mess that whole situation was.
Standing up Sam comes to kneel next to Bea.
“Let me be clear since I don’t know that I have been. There is nothing going on with Musa. I don’t want her. I want you. I think you are the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen on and if you want, I’d love to call this what it actually is - a relationship. We can hold hands and kiss and do whatever else you think I haven’t done with you in public because you’re you.”
“I’ve never been jealous before.” She pouted.
“I know. I think it’s cute.” Sam kissed her head and then took her hand, pulling her up so they were both standing.
“I feel crazy - and like not in the fun way.” She was still pouting.
“Crazy for me? Hot.” He smiled down at her, his hands now on her waist.
“So what? You’re my boyfriend?” She looped her hands around his neck.
“Obviously.” He scoffed, kissing her again just as she heard some of their peers settle at a table near them.
So maybe jealousy really just meant that she cared - that Sam was important to her. She didn’t need the mind fairy stuff or the relationship that Musa and Sam had before. They just needed to be them.
Mad.
Jealous.
Passionate.
Happy.
I always liked the color of my eyes
(My true color comes out)