Work Text:
“My room’s up the stairs to the left and yours is just down the hall from it. And we have to share the bathroom, but I'm sure we can work that out,” Kuroo explained. He looked at the guy who answered his roommate ad. The guy was tall with slightly strange hair, seemed nice enough, and he didn't give off any weirdo murder vibes.
“Of course,” he said smiling.
“And obviously you can use the the house as much as you please and whatever; I'm really chill,” Kuroo said.
“Cool cool,” he nodded happily. “I'm like, super chill too.”
“Sweet,” Kuroo grinned. “And you're…?”
“Bokuto,” he said. “I'm a percussionist and I'm an instrumental major.”
“Oh awesome,” Kuroo said. “I'm a business major, not as fun.”
“Nah, I'm sure you're loads of fun,” Bokuto smirked.
Kuroo hadn't exactly wanted to get a roommate. Had he been able to go his entire college career keeping his house to himself, he would have. But college isn't cheap, and keeping a house isn't cheap and feeding himself isn't cheap. Being raised by his grandmother had many benefits, all of which ended the summer right before his first semester when she died.
He hadn't exactly been ready to be thrust into adult life with his grandmother there to help him, let alone by himself.
Kuroo had been left some money and his grandmother's things, but most importantly her house. And even with a scholarship, school quickly got expensive. He soon developed a very great appreciation for all that his grandmother did for him. Within the first few months he learned how to fix a broken sink, deal with the fuse box, barter with the plumber, and keep the house from all but burning down around him.
But right before his spring semester he realized that there was no way he wanted to go through another weekend where he was dealing with a burst pipe— well, alone that is. Though he went to school on full scholarship, that didn't mean he didn't need the money. A roommate was the best idea he'd come up with.
“So how do you want to work this out?” Bokuto asked as they ate pizza on the couch later that day.
“What do you mean?” Kuroo asked as he pulled a long strand of cheese from his slice.
“Well my old roommate had a bunch of rules,” Bokuto said. “It was all like ‘no music after 9’ and ‘you can shower only at night because I shower in the mornings’ oh my favorite one ‘no having sex while I'm here and if you do have sex in the apartment, don't.’”
“Wow,” Kuroo frowned. “How very unchill of him.”
“Yeah, he was most unchill,” Bokuto laughed.
“Well, lucky for you I don't have any weirdo rules like that,” Kuroo shrugged. “Just like, don’t burn down my house I guess.”
“Can do,” Bokuto smiled.
Kuroo got used to having a roommate way faster than he thought he would. He thought perhaps it was because he missed his grandmother, and having someone else in the house was comforting. But living with Bokuto was almost completely different than his grandmother.
First of all, Bokuto was much louder than his grandmother. Being a music major meant that he was constantly, and forever playing music. Now, Kuroo couldn't imagine a breakfast without the sounds whatever band Bokuto had discovered the night before. Weekend cleaning was nothing without listening to an entire musical through and through. And Kuroo couldn't remember not having classical music playing in the background while he cooked.
Bokuto was also incredibly handy around the house. Kuroo was never the handyman in the house, usually his grandmother would be able to fix most things. And even after she died, he barely kept everything around him from breaking down. But Bokuto was able to fix things so easily. Even all the “repairs” he had done Bokuto was able to properly fix. He would take care of any broken furniture, any burst pipe, and even the when they lost power, he was able to keep them calm and transfer their food into coolers.
“Here, that should do it,” Bokuto said closing the cooler.
“Thanks man,” Kuroo said using the flashlight to look through the utility closet in the basement.
“No problem,” Bokuto shrugged. “Find anymore batteries?”
“Nope, just lots and lots of light bulbs,” Kuroo frowned, shining the flashlight on the boxes of unopened light bulbs.
“A lot of good that does,” Bokuto laughed.
“Yeah,” Kuroo sighed. “I think we have some candles— yeah, look.” He pulled out a shoebox filled with candles of all sizes.
“That could work though,” Bokuto said with a grin. He took the box from Kuroo's hands and walked back upstairs using the light from his phone as a flash light.
“Don't burn down my house,” Kuroo called after him as he went up the stairs.
“I'm not going to, just look,” Bokuto said setting up the candles in the living room. He had placed all of the thicker candles separately, and all the thinner candles he'd found things to stick them into to hold them up.
“Clever,” Kuroo nodded approvingly.
“I have my moments,” Bokuto grinned. “Now, is the whole neighborhood like this, or can we order food?”
“Well, I guess if they don't answer, they don't have power,” Kuroo laughed as he pulled out his phone to call for some food. They laid out blankets from their beds and the laundry and made a sort of nest on the floor as they ate their take out.
“You know I just realized we can't watch a movie,” Bokuto said as he ate his food.
“Damn electricity,” Kuroo joked. “She is a cruel, but seductive mistress.”
“Too true,” Bokuto sighed.
“But we can do something else, I guess,” Kuroo said as he set down his food container.
“Like what?”
“We could actually talk to each other,” Kuroo suggested feigning scandal.
“Oh god, I'd rather do anything else,” Bokuto pretended to groan. They both laughed as they came up with “worse and worse” things they could be doing. Kuroo felt himself not missing his phone or Netflix or anything they talked about what they could have been doing. Somehow talking with Bokuto, laughing with him, hanging out with him, was just enough.
“Maybe we should put some of these candles out,” Kuroo said looking around the room. “We don't want them to be on all night.”
“Yeah that's a good idea,” Bokuto said getting up from where he had being lying down on their nest of blankets. Kuroo watched him go around the room and blow out all the candles until their was only a few small ones by them on the coffee table they had pushed against the wall.
“We're sleeping down here tonight right? Since it's probably grossly hot upstairs without the central air on,” Kuroo said clearing their empty take out containers.
“Oh yeah,” Bokuto agreed. “I'll brave the trip up stairs to get our pillows. In fact—” he paused mid sentence and grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it off, folding it up. “Ugh, that's so much better.”
That was the most stark difference between living with his grandmother and living with Bokuto; Bokuto was always in a state of undress. There was never a time that Kuroo found that Bokuto was at the house and wearing all his clothes. He slept as close to nude as he could get, and often spent most of the mornings in a similar state. When he would come back from class the first thing he would do was remove his shirt and pants, preferring the change into low riding sweatpants and often no shirt at all. And on days where they were just relaxing in the house, he would spend his time in boxers and usually nothing else.
For Kuroo that was the most maddening. Not because he was opposed to nudity, but because as the months went on, and they lived together longer, and everything seemed to be going well, Kuroo realized he was developing a crush on his roommate.
“So just tell him,” Kenma suggested when Kuroo accidentally confided after a month since his realization.
“I can't just tell him!” Kuroo said horrified.
“Then don't tell him,” Kenma said, not looking up from his phone.
“But what if it slips out accidentally?” Kuroo asked concerned.
“Then tell him,” Kenma said.
“Ugh, you're no use,” Kuroo groaned, throwing himself face down on his friends bed. “You don't understand.”
“No I do not,” Kenma said, continuing to play his game.
“You're super ace, you don't get it,” Kuroo grumbled into his friends pillow.
“That's right,” Kenma said distantly, “I think you're just being dramatic.”
“I'm not dramatic!” Kuroo said dramatically. Kenma looked up from his phone and gave Kuroo a silent, pointed look. “Ok...I can see where that could be taken as dramatic but I'm not…”
“Kuroo,” Kenma sighed. “Just… You don't even know how Bokuto feels or if he'd even be interested. Like, do you know if he likes guys?”
“He's never brought anyone home if that's what you're asking,” Kuroo said sitting up on the bed. “And he's never mentioned going on dates, or exes of any kind either.”
“Then maybe he's also ace,” Kenma said turning back to his phone.
“Maybe,” Kuroo exhaled disappointedly. “He could still want to date if he's ace though.” Kenma made a face, glancing quickly at Kuroo. “Ok, you don't, but there are others that might.”
“What if he's just straight?” Kenma said.
“Ugh, that would be my luck,” Kuroo grumbled, falling backwards on the bed.
“Why don't you drop subtle hints and see if he picks up on them,” Kenma suggested. “Maybe after a while he'll put two and two together and you'll have your answer.”
“Maybe,” Kuroo sighed.
So that's what Kuroo tried to do. Whenever possible he would drop hints, be subtly flirtatious, all in the hope that somehow Bokuto would eventually understand.
“Hey,” Kuroo said, jogging over to Bokuto before he went through the front door. “Where are you going?” He leaned against the doorway in a way he hoped came across as sexy and attractive.
“Oh, I'm just going to walk down to hardware store. Your paint gun is broken, so I thought I'd get some more paint guns. That way, we can paint the garage together,” Bokuto said, Kuroo's eyes following his hand as he pulled at the collar of his tshirt.
“Getting some paint guns to add to our armory of guns huh?” Kuroo smirked.
“Armory?”
“Yeah there's these guns,” Kuroo flexed his biceps and grinned at Bokuto. “And those guns,” he gestured to Bokuto's muscular arms. “The armory.”
“Armory, that's funny,” Bokuto chuckled, “I'm gonna tell Akaashi that one.”
“Of course,” Kuroo smiled, trying not to keep it from being disappointed.
All of Kuroo's attempts, as bad and obvious as they were, never seemed to make any headway with Bokuto. Each time he would try to flirt, badly, with him, he would never understand and only take it as a friendly joke. Kuroo grow bolder as he became more and more frustrated.
“So when next semester starts you're not gonna kick me out right?” Bokuto asked as they sorted through their laundry.
“No way. Why would I do that?” Kuroo asked confused, pausing in his motions of folding his shirt.
“I don't know, I was just making sure I don't have to find a new place to live,” Bokuto shrugged.
“Dude, I wouldn't kick you out,” Kuroo said.
“I was only asking,” Bokuto laughed.
“I know,” Kuroo said trying to shrug off the weird feeling he got at the thought of Bokuto moving out. “But you don't have to worry, you can live here forever.”
“Well I don't know if you'll want me here forever,” Bokuto smirked.
“But I do,” Kuroo said, not looking over at him. He continued folding his clothes in the lull.
“If you say so man,” Bokuto laughed.
Kuroo didn’t think he could seem more obvious, no matter how hard he tried. He had done everything from light touches here and there when he would walk by or stand near him, to just basically cuddling with him on the couch as they watched TV. Yet nothing seemed to be obvious enough for Bokuto who still was obliviously ignorant of Kuroo's feeling for him. Short of waiting naked in Bokuto's bedroom with a poster that said “I'm in love with you,” Kuroo had no more ideas on what to do and he was growing impatient quickly.
“So why don't you?” Kenma said, slurping up his noodles.
“Why don't I what?” Kuroo asked.
“Stand naked in his bedroom with a sign that says “I'm in love with you” and stuff,” Kenma said wiping his mouth with a napkin.
“I was being facetious,” Kuroo glared. “Obviously I'm not going to do that.”
“Who knows, it might work,” Kenma shrugged, turning his attention back to his food.
“You are so, so not helpful, you know that?” Kuroo grumbled, to which Kenma only shrugged. “I'm serious, I'm out of ideas.”
“Why don't you just tell him straight out?” Kenma suggested.
“Don't be ridiculous,” Kuroo frowned.
“Oh you're right, I'm ridiculous,” Kenma said sarcastically.
“Ugh, you know you're not,” Kuroo groaned, twirling his noodles in his bowl. “But how am I supposed to just tell him? What if he rejects me? He'd probably move out and I'd never see him again. Or worse, he continues living with me but he doesn't talk to me anymore. All because I had to be so stupid and gay.”
“I don't think either of those will happen,” Kenma said shaking his head. “You should just talk to him, tell him how you feel.”
“That's crazy talk,” Kuroo chided. Kenma sighed, but didn't press the point. “I'll just have to get over it.”
And that's what Kuroo set out to do, and he was very serious about his task to get over Bokuto. He gave gave himself rules like “no spending more than an hour doing something recreational with him” and “keep yourself at least 5 inches away from him at all times” and perhaps his most difficult one “do not under any circumstances have any romantic or sexual thoughts about him.” Kuroo found that last one incredibly hard for two reasons.
The first was that Bokuto was constantly undressed. If he realized when he had first moved in, what an issue it was going to become for Kuroo, he might have thought twice about renting the place to him . Daily, Kuroo found himself watching the muscles in Bokuto's chest and arms flex and imagining what it'd be like to be manhandled by those muscles. He would find himself staring at the deep V leading into Bokuto's briefs wondering if his unusual hair color was reflected down there and how much he'd like to find out. And more than once a day he would wonder what it would be like to have his head between Bokuto's perfectly sculpted thighs. Cutting off sexual thoughts about him was like trying to get a tree to stop growing leaves.
The second reason was even harder; Bokuto was incredibly caring. Every simple, kind gesture felt like stab in the heart to Kuroo. Each time Bokuto would buy him something extra from the store just because he knew it was Kuroo's favorite. Every time Bokuto would stay up with Kuroo when he overworked himself and fell ill. And all the times Bokuto would just engage in the most simply domestic and trivial action with Kuroo, like making jokes as they did the dishes or making tea at the end of a long day. Each moment was like hand on Kuroo's heart, tightening its grasp until he couldn't breathe anymore.
Kuroo was in love with Bokuto. So pathetically, and hopelessly in love with him. And he saw nothing that could end it. So he tried to.
“Um, have I done something wrong?” Bokuto asked carefully. Kuroo looked up from his notes all spread out in his bed, to the doorway where Bokuto was standing. His hands were fidgety and he looked uncomfortable.
“No, why?” Kuroo asked.
“Well, it's nothing it's just… You usually study downstairs with me in the living room and I thought… I don't know, maybe I bothered you or something,” Bokuto said uncharacteristically unsure.
“Oh,” Kuroo said, his throat constricting at the realization that his plan to pull away was having unwanted effects. “No you didn't do anything, I just wanted to study in my room is all.”
“Alright,” Bokuto nodded. “I'll leave you then.” He closed the door behind him as he left. Groaning, Kuroo threw himself backwards on his bed wishing he could just for once be honest with Bokuto. Misjudging the distance between this head and the wall, Kuroo leaned back too far and banged his head hard on the wall behind him.
“Ow fuck!” Kuroo yelled, rubbing the back of his head.
“Are you ok?” Bokuto said opening his door again.
“Yeah, I'm fine I just hurt my head,” Kuroo groaned, rubbing that back of his head.
“Do you need me to get you some ice or something?” Bokuto offered.
“No I'm fine,” Kuroo sighed, wishing the throbbing in his head would go down.
“Are you sure, because I can get you something if you want?” Bokuto said taking a step forward.
“Seriously, I'm fine,” Kuroo said growing impatient at the kindness he'd been trying to avoid.
“Do you want to take a look at—”
“I said I'm fine!” Kuroo shouted. Bokuto froze in place, his face shocked by Kuroo's sudden out burst.
“I was just trying to—”
“I know just stop ok!?” Kuroo continued. “I don't need your help or anything from you. Just leave me alone, for fuck’s sake I'm trying to study and you keep barging in my room. Goddamn it!”
“I'm…” Bokuto began, his eyes wide with shock.
“Ugh I'm going elsewhere,” Kuroo said slamming his book closed.
With excessive force he stomped down the steps and went into the kitchen. Leaning on the kitchen counter for support, he took deep breaths. He knew that there was no real reason for his outburst, that Bokuto was only trying to help and he should have been grateful. But Kuroo felt like he was drawing nearer to the end of his rope. He had been feeling like he was one nice gesture away from an explosion and he was afraid that was going to happen very soon.
Trying to calm down, he grabbed the kettle and filled it with water. Setting it heavily on the stove, he turned on the flame. If there was something his grandmother always told him, was that there wasn't anything a hot cup of tea couldn't cure. And Kuroo hoped, that in this one case it could aid in curing his broken heart.
“I'm sorry,” Bokuto said from behind him. Kuroo hadn't even realized he walked up behind him, and he could feel his teeth grinding at the prospect of a truly heartfelt apology from Bokuto. “I didn't realize I was bothering you so much. I had only wondered if—”
“Did it occur to you that maybe I still don't want to talk to you right now?” Kuroo bit out, not looking over at Bokuto.
“Oh…” Bokuto breathed. “No I guess…”
“No,” Kuroo repeated tersely. “No, of course not. Why think about how I feel?” Not wanting to cry, Kuroo reached over to the key hook, grabbed his keys and stomped out of the kitchen.
“Where are you going?” Bokuto asked following him to the front door where Kuroo was forcing his shoes onto his feet.
“What does it matter?” Kuroo said wrenching the door open and slamming it behind him.
It gave Kuroo a little pleasure seeing Bokuto look so upset. After over a year of him pinning and wallowing in his unrequited love for him, Kuroo thought it was time that Bokuto felt a bit of that pain. The pain of not knowing what to do or what to say or how to act around the other person. That pain Kuroo had to live with everyday. And he was sick of it.
Kuroo had no idea where to go, all he knew was that he couldn't go home until well past the time that Bokuto went to bed. So he walked around. Being in the town that Kuroo grew up in, he knew the place just simply by muscle memory. Almost every spot in the town had a memory he attached to it from his childhood and he saw them all as he walked. The tree by where he and Kenma first met as tiny kids. The ice cream store that his grandmother would treat him to after every good report card. The backstreets where Kuroo learned to drive. Everything had a memory from his life.
But he began to notice that places began to have new memories attached to them. The automatic memory he recalled for places began to change. The corner store where he bought his first beer now registered as the place where he and Bokuto came running to the day they lost power to buy ice that they had to carry all the way home. The clinic where Kuroo went to clandestinely get condoms as a teenager, he now remembered as the place that Bokuto drove him to when he cut his hand open while cooking. And the rundown tree swing in the park where Kuroo almost broke his leg when he was ten, he now could only remember him and Bokuto drunkenly pushing each other on the swing the day after finals.
Everywhere he looked, Kuroo could only see Bokuto now. The place he lived in all his life was filled with the guy he'd happened to rent his spare room to. But he and Bokuto had become more than that. He'd become his best friend and most importantly, the person he was completely and irrevocably in love with.
“I have to tell him,” Kuroo whispered to himself.
Not even sure what time it was, Kuroo set out for his house. He hadn't realized how far he'd walked and for how long. The sky had gone completely dark and all the street lamps around him were dimly illuminating his path. He silently wished he'd grabbed his coat, as the hoodie he was was wearing did nothing for the late night April chill.
As he drew closer, Kuroo saw the red and blue flashing of siren lights in the distance. Being a small town, he knew that rarely did the emergency vehicles need to pull out the whole nine yards of the sirens and the lights, and they only did it when it was important. The sounds and lights grew louder and brighter as he walked closer.
Fearing the worst, Kuroo quickened his pace hoping that he was overreacting, that there was no way that the emergency had anything to do with him. But as he approached the turn to his street, he saw the fire truck with its blaring lights and sirens turn onto the main street.
“Don't, please don't turn left,” he whispered to himself as he watched the truck drive down the street. Hooking a sharp left, the truck turned onto Kuroo's street.
Breaking out into a run, Kuroo blindly ran towards his house, horrified that he found himself hoping that it was one of his neighbors. But no such luck.
As he ran down his block, he pushed his way through the growing crowd of his neighbors to see them all standing around his house. The bottom right window had flames coming out licking up the side of the house. Smoke was pouring through the windows and doors as the firefighters worked to spray water at the house.
His childhood home was in flames and the only thing Kuroo could think was Bokuto, where's Bokuto.
“Kuroo!” He turned at the sound of his name being called, hoping desperately that it was Bokuto and he was safe. But no such luck. His friend Daichi who worked as a volunteer fireman came running towards him. “Kuroo, thank god you're safe. I was hoping that you hadn't been home.”
“I'm-I'm…” Kuroo stumbled, looking back at his house. “He's still in there.”
“Who?” Daichi asked concerned.
“Bo-Bokuto. He's still in the house. He lives with me,” Kuroo stammered looking up at the house in horror. “I need to— I have to find him.” He took a step towards the house before Daichi stopped him.
“You can't go anywhere near the house yet,” Daichi said. “We'll send someone in there to go get him. But you have to stay here, ok?”
“...ok,” Kuroo croaked staring up at the house. He had no idea what to feel. Everything he thought he would feel like, had disappeared in one moment.
In the distance he could hear Daichi instructing other firefighters to go into the house. He could hear people's gasps and raised whispered and talking and speculating. He could hear the crackling of the fire and the pressure of the hose. But he couldn't even hear himself think. It felt like all of his thoughts were happening at once. And through it all only one thing was clear; Bokuto.
“Kuroo! Kuroo!” He almost didn't turn around, he was so busy staring up at the house. “Kuroo you're safe, oh thank god!” He turned his head to see who was yelling for him this time, when he saw Bokuto running towards him. He had a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and he had bits of dust and soot on his face and hair and all over his clothes. Kuroo never thought he'd seen something so amazing in his life.
“Bokuto,” he breathed as Bokuto enveloped him in a hug. After a moment of forgetting to react, Kuroo wrapped his arms around Bokuto. He left himself breath again, not realizing he had been holding his breath the whole time. “You're safe, you're alive.”
“Yeah just barely,” Bokuto laughed, pressing himself tight around Kuroo. “I was so worried you were in the house and you had gotten hurt.”
“No I just got back,” Kuroo said, bringing his hand up to cradle Bokuto's head. “I thought you—” he cut himself off with a wrecked breath.
“No, no, no,” Bokuto said quickly. “I'm ok. They pulled me out. I'm ok.”
“I—” Kuroo breathe cut off and he began to hyperventilate. Bokuto pulled back from the hug and tried to get him to calm down.
“No, no calm down. I'm ok, you're ok,” Bokuto said soothingly, rubbing his back and cradling his face. “Just breath ok? We're ok, you're ok.”
“I don't care about me, I care about you,” Kuroo said after a moment.
“What?” Bokuto asked.
“I was so worried you had– had, oh god,” Kuroo gasped. “And I didn't get to tell you. I would have never gotten to tell you.”
“Tell me what?” Bokuto asked, looking searchingly into Kuroo's eyes.
“That I…” Kuroo began. Bokuto looked up at him with hopeful eyes and Kuroo broke.
Jumping forward, Kuroo crashing their lips together. Holding Bokuto's face in his hands, Kuroo poured everything he'd been trying to say into the kiss. All his fears and hopes and passions and worries, he tried to make seep through and permeate the kiss. He pulled back, their lips separating with a light wet smacking sound. Just barely a hair apart, he could feel Bokuto's lips chasing him for more. Kuroo slowly opened his eyes and saw an equally dazed Bokuto looking at him.
“That I'm in love with you,” Kuroo whispered finally. “I'm really, deeply in love with you.”
“I…” Bokuto let out a short laugh, which caught Kuroo off guard. He then fell into uncontrollable laughter, with Kuroo looking at him horrified. “I can't believe this,” he gasped between laughs.
“Um…” Kuroo began feeling like he'd greatly misstepped. He brought his hands to his sides, and wanted nothing more than to run into the burning house, perhaps there he would feel less hot with embarrassment in there. “Just...forget it. Forget I said anything. I'm sorry, I'm—”
“No, no. You misunderstand me,” Bokuto said happily. “I can't believe it took the house almost burning down for us to finally kiss.”
“....what,” Kuroo said dryly.
“Oh god, I've been in love with you for so long and I didn't know what to do. I thought I was going to go crazy,” Bokuto laughed. “You tell me all the time not to burn down the house, but it just occurred to me that I should have burned it down months ago if it meant I could finally kiss you.”
“That's fucking crazy,” Kuroo laughed.
“We're a little crazy,” Bokuto smiled.
“Did you really burn down the house?” Kuroo asked.
“No, you left the kettle on with the flame going,” Bokuto said. “I was so upset I just went up to my room, I must have forgotten about it and it must have caught on something, I'm so sorry Kuroo.”
“You know what, I don't even care,” Kuroo exhaled happily. “You're safe and I'm safe, and the house is brick and fuck it, whatever.”
“I'm so happy you're safe,” Bokuto said thumbing his cheek. Kuroo gave him a watery smile.
“I really thought I lost you for a while there,” Kuroo whispered. “It felt like I was dying.”
“I know what you mean,” Bokuto nodded. “I love you, Kuroo. God that feels so awesome to say out loud.”
“I know,” Kuroo smiled. “I love you. But let's not burn anymore houses down next time we need to tell the other something, ok?”
“Deal,” Bokuto smiled.