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The thing about Kamishiro Rui is that he has absolutely no sense of personal space. Or rather, he has a very selective sense of personal space. He maintains a polite distance from most people, but with Tsukasa? All bets are off.
It happens for the first time that day during afternoon rehearsal at the Wonder Stage. Tsukasa is standing center stage, script in hand, running through his lines with the kind of intense focus that means he's completely tuned out the rest of the world. He’s on a roll today, and all is right in the world….
"—and thus I declare, upon my honor as a knight—"
Arms wrap around his waist from behind without warning.
Tsukasa yelps, the script flying from his hands and plopping sadly to the ground as he jerks in surprise. "Wh—!"
"Your posture is off, Tsukasa-kun," Rui's voice comes from directly behind him, his chin nearly resting on Tsukasa's shoulder. His arms are wrapped securely around Tsukasa's waist, holding him in place. "You're standing too rigid. The character should feel confident but relaxed."
Tsukasa's entire face flares red. "R-Rui! You can't just—let go!"
"Can't I?" Rui sounds amused, and he makes no move to release him. If anything, his arms tighten slightly. "I'm helping with your blocking."
"This is not helping with blocking!" Tsukasa's voice rises even higher in pitch. "This is— you're— we're in the middle of rehearsal!"
"Exactly. Which is why I'm correcting your posture." Rui shifts slightly, and Tsukasa can feel the movement against his back. "See? If you relax your shoulders like this—"
"I can't relax anything when you're—!" Tsukasa cuts himself off, his face now resembling a tomato. He's acutely aware of how Rui's arms span his waist, how close they're standing, how he can feel Rui's breath against his ear. "You can’t just spring this on me! Let go!"
"If you insist." Rui finally releases him, but not before his hands trail along Tsukasa's sides as he steps back, and the sensation causes Tsukasa to nearly jump out of his skin.
From the side of the stage, Emu is watching with wide, confused eyes. "Umm... are you two okay?"
"Fine!" Tsukasa says too loudly, bending down to snatch up his fallen script. His hands are shaking slightly. "Completely fine! Rui was just being—being Rui!" But it hadn’t ever happened before, so why now?
"I was being helpful," Rui corrects, his eyes gleaming with amusement.
"You were being nothing but a menace," Tsukasa mutters, but it's quiet enough that maybe Rui doesn't hear.
Judging by his widening smile, Rui definitely heard him.
"Are we alright to continue then?" Emu asks.
"Yes! Yes, let's continue!" Tsukasa clears his throat, trying desperately to regain his composure. "From the top of this scene. And Rui," he points accusingly "you stay over there. In the tech booth. Where you belong."
"Whatever you say, Tsukasa-kun." Rui heads back in.
Tsukasa determinedly ignores them and returns to his mark, his heart still racing a mile a minute. He has to scan through the script more than twice to find the line he’d left off.
=====
It happens again three days later, to no one’s surprise.
Tsukasa is at his locker, rummaging through his bag for his mathematics textbook. The hallway is relatively quiet—it's the brief lull between classes when most students are already in their classrooms.
He's completely focused on finding his textbook. Aghh, where did he put it? He definitely brought it to school today, so it had to be inside his locker somewhere. And that’s when someone embraces him from behind. Again.
"Rui!" Tsukasa jolts, nearly hitting his head on the locker door. "Stop doing that!"
"Doing what?" Rui's voice is innocently curious as he peers into the locker. "I'm just saying hello. Looking for something?"
"My math textbook, and— would you let go?" Tsukasa's face is burning. They're in the middle of the school hallway. Anyone could see them. "This is— people are going to think—"
"Think what?" Rui asks, and he sounds genuinely curious.
"That we're— that you're—" Tsukasa flounders, his brain short-circuiting. It’s not his fault that he can’t think properly in his current state. "Just let go!"
"You still haven't found your textbook." Rui's arms remain firmly in place. One of his hands even moves to point at something in the locker. "Isn't that it? Under your gym clothes?"
"I— yes, thank you, now let go!" Tsukasa grabs the textbook and tries to squirm out of Rui's hold, but Rui just laughs and tightens his arms.
"You're very squirmy today, Tsukasa-kun."
"Because you're—!" Tsukasa cuts himself off when he notices two girls from their year walking past, staring at them with wide eyes and whispering to each other behind their hands. "See?! People are staring!"
"Let them stare." Rui sounds completely unconcerned. "Why does it matter?"
"It matters because— because—" Tsukasa's voice drops to a mortified whisper. "People are going to get the wrong idea!"
"The wrong idea about what?"
"About us!"
"What about us?"
Tsukasa makes a frustrated noise. "You know what I mean!" Why doesn’t he get it?
"I'm afraid I don't." Rui finally releases him, but he stays close, leaning against the lockers beside Tsukasa with an expression of genuine confusion mixed with amusement. "Explain it to me, Tsukasa-kun."
"I— you—" Tsukasa clutches his textbook to his chest like a shield. "You can't just hug people like that in public! It's— it's—" He struggles to come up with a good word for it.
"Inappropriate?" Rui supplies helpfully.
"Yes! No! I mean—" Tsukasa's face is getting redder by the second. "It makes me look small!"
Rui blinks. "Small?"
"You're taller than me!" Tsukasa protests. "When you hug me from behind like that, it makes me look— I look like—"
"Cute?" Rui suggests, his smile turning teasing.
"NO!" Tsukasa's voice comes out too loud, and a few more students glance their way. Mindful of their curious gazes, he hurriedly lowers his voice to a hiss. "Not cute! Just small! And you need to stop doing it!"
"But you never actually tell me to stop," Rui points out reasonably. "You complain, but you don't say 'Rui, don't do this anymore.'"
"I—" Tsukasa opens his mouth, then closes it. Because Rui is right, isn't he? Tsukasa always protests in the moment, but he's never actually told Rui to stop. "That's not— I'm telling you now! Stop hugging me without warning!"
"Without warning?" Rui's eyes gleam. "So if I warn you first, it's acceptable?"
"That's not what I said!" Tsukasa clutches his textbook tighter. "Just—just stop it entirely!"
"If you insist." Rui's smile suggests he doesn't believe for a second that Tsukasa actually means it. "I'll try to restrain myself."
"You'd better," Tsukasa mutters, but it lacks conviction.
As Rui walks away with a casual wave, Tsukasa slumps against his locker, his heart pounding in his chest. He doesn't understand why Rui keeps doing this. They're friends. They’re very close friends, especially after everything they've been through with the troupe. But this kind of casual physical affection is...
It’s…
It makes Tsukasa's chest feel tight and his thoughts go fuzzy and his face burn, and he doesn't know what to do with any of those strange feelings. So he does what he always does best: he shoves them out of his mind, closes his locker with more force than necessary, and heads to class.
=====
"Okay, I have to ask."
Tsukasa looks up from his phone to find Nene standing in front of him with her arms crossed and an expression that suggests she's reached her limit of tolerance for whatever nonsense she's been witnessing.
They're backstage at the Wonder Stage after practice. Emu and Rui left ten minutes ago — Emu had to get back to Phoenix Wonderland, and Rui offered to walk with her. Which leaves Tsukasa alone with Nene.
Which apparently was Nene's plan all along, judging from the determined look on her face.
"Ask what?" Tsukasa sets his phone down cautiously.
"What is going on with you and Rui?"
Tsukasa's face immediately heats up. "What do you mean what's going on? Nothing is going on. We're great friends. Why would you think something is going on?"
"Because," Nene says slowly, like she's explaining something to a small child in a nursery, "he keeps hugging you from behind, and you keep acting like you're about to combust, but you never actually tell him to stop."
"I do tell him to stop!"
"You complain, but you don't actually stop him." Nene sits down beside him. "And he keeps doing it, which means he either doesn't understand that you seriously want him to stop, or..."
"Or what?" Tsukasa asks warily.
"Or he knows you don't actually want him to stop, and you're both just... I don't know, playing some weird game that I don't understand?" Nene shakes her head. "Look, I'm just trying to figure out what your relationship is, because from the outside it looks really confusing."
"Our relationship is friends," Tsukasa says firmly. "That's it. We're friends. Close friends."
"Close friends who hug like that?"
"Rui is just... physically affectionate?" Tsukasa's face is burning now. "That's just how he is!"
"He doesn't hug me or Emu like that."
"..."
"Tsukasa." Nene's voice is patient but firm. "Are you two dating?"
"What?! No! Why would you— we're not!" Tsukasa sputters, his face going from pink to red to possibly purple. "Where would you even get that idea?!"
"From the way he acts around you," Nene says dryly. "And the way you react to him. You're either dating, or one of you wants to be dating, or you're both completely oblivious to the fact that you should be dating."
"We're not dating!" Tsukasa insists, but it’s true! "We're friends! Just friends!"
"So you're saying if Rui walked in right now and hugged you from behind again, that would be a friend thing?" Nene is looking increasingly unimpressed by the minute.
"Yes! Obviously! It's a friendly gesture!"
Nene looks at him for a long moment, her expression unreadable. Her eyes are narrowed, like she’s scrutinising him, before she gives up and lets out a long sigh.
"Okay, let me ask you something else. Has Rui ever asked you out? Like, on a date?"
"On a date?" Tsukasa's brow furrows. "You mean like... going out together?"
"Yes. Has he asked you to go out with him?"
"Well... yes?" Tsukasa says slowly. "About a month ago, he asked if I wanted to go out with him sometime. And I said yes, obviously, because we're friends and—"
He stops.
Nene is staring at him with an expression of dawning horror.
"Tsukasa," she says carefully. "When Rui asked you to 'go out' with him. What did you think he meant?"
"To... go out? Like, go somewhere together?" Tsukasa is confused by the question. "We've gone to the movies, and to dinner a few times, and last week we went to that new arcade—"
"Oh my god," Nene says faintly. "Oh my god, Tsukasa, you—"
"What? What's wrong?"
"When someone asks you to 'go out with them’," Nene says very slowly, very carefully, "that means they're asking you to date them. To be in a relationship. To be boyfriends."
There's a long, terrible silence.
"What," Tsukasa says. It is all he has to say.
"You've been dating Rui for a month," Nene says, and she sounds like she can't quite believe she has to explain this. "He thinks you're his boyfriend. You've been going on dates. This whole time."
"That can't be," Tsukasa's brain is short-circuiting. "He never said anything."
"Oh my god," Nene repeats. "You really didn't know. You genuinely had no idea."
"The hugging— the— all of it—"
"Was him being affectionate with his boyfriend," Nene finishes. "Which is why he kept doing it. Because to him, you're dating. You said yes when he asked you out."
Tsukasa opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. No sound comes out.
"I'm going to ask you one more time," Nene says. "And I want you to think very carefully before you answer. Do you want to date Rui?"
"I—" Tsukasa's voice is barely a whisper. "I haven't thought about—" But that's not entirely true, is it? Because he has thought about it. Every time Rui hugs him from behind, every time Rui smiles at him in that particular way, every time his heart races and his face burns — he definitely has thought about it, no matter what he says.
He just didn't think it was possible. Didn't think Rui would ever see him that way.
Except Rui has been seeing him that way. For a month. Because they've been dating.
"Oh," Tsukasa says faintly. "Oh no."
"Yeah," Nene agrees. "Oh no.”
=====
One month ago…
“Tsukasa-kun, do you have a moment?
Tsukasa looked up from the stage diagram he'd been studying to find Rui standing beside him, hands in his pockets, expression carefully casual in a way that actually made him look slightly nervous.
Which was odd, because Rui was never nervous.
"Of course! What is it?" Tsukasa set down the diagram, giving Rui his full attention.
Rui was quiet for a moment, his golden eyes studying Tsukasa's face like he was searching for something.
"I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me sometime."
Tsukasa blinked. "Go out? Like, the two of us?"
"Yes. Just us." Rui's smile widened slightly. "We could see a movie, or get dinner, or just... spend time together. Whatever you'd like."
"Oh!" Tsukasa brightened immediately. "Sure! That sounds fun! We don't get enough time to just hang out outside of practice."
Something flickered across Rui's expression — maybe surprise, maybe something else — but it was gone too quickly for Tsukasa to identify it.
"Then it's a date," Rui said, and his voice was warm, pleased.
"A date!" Tsukasa agreed cheerfully. "When were you thinking? This weekend?"
"Saturday works for me," Rui said. "I'll pick you up at six?"
"Perfect! I'm looking forward to it!" Tsukasa smiled brightly, already mentally planning what they could do. Maybe they could check out that new action movie, or try that ramen place that just opened—
Rui stepped closer, and for a moment Tsukasa thought he was going to say something else. But instead, Rui just smiled at him, reached out to briefly ruffle his hair, and said, "Me too, Tsukasa-kun. Me too."
At the time, Tsukasa thought it was just Rui being… well… Rui, who is very friendly and affectionate, with zero sense of personal space. He’s never minded it, though.
Looking back now, with Nene's words echoing in his head, Tsukasa realizes that Rui had meant something else entirely.
=====
Sleep doesn’t come to Tsukasa as easily.
He lies in bed, staring at the ceiling, his mind replaying every interaction he's had with Rui over the past month. The movies they'd seen. The dinners they'd shared. The arcade where Rui had won him that ridiculous stuffed cat from the claw machine and insisted he keep it. The evening they'd spent just walking around the city, talking about everything and nothing.
Dates. They'd been dates.
And the hugging — god, the hugging. That wasn't Rui being casually friendly. That was Rui being affectionate with someone he thought was his boyfriend.
Tsukasa pulls his pillow over his face and makes a muffled sound of distress. How could he have been so oblivious? How could he have completely missed—
His phone buzzes on his nightstand.
Rui: Are you alright? You left practice rather quickly today.
Tsukasa stares at the message for a long moment, his heart pounding.
Tsukasa: I'm fine! Just tired! Going to sleep now! Good night!
He sends it before he can overthink it, then immediately regrets the excessive punctuation that definitely makes him look suspicious.
Rui: Sleep well, Tsukasa-kun. I'll see you tomorrow. ♡
Tsukasa stares at the emoji. It’s not just any other emoji. It’s a heart emoji, specifically something that Rui had been sending him for weeks, that Tsukasa thought didn't mean anything.
In the dark of the night, he muffles his scream with his pillow.
=====
"Tsukasa-kun, are you alright?" Rui approaches him two days after Tsukasa realises everything. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I haven’t!” Tsukasa protests immediately.
“You took the long way around the third-floor hallway three times today to avoid passing my locker," Rui says. "You sat in the back corner during chemistry when you always sit in the front row. And you weren't on the rooftop at lunch.”
“I— I had places to be,” Tsukasa says, his voice small. He’s aware it’s a very flimsy explanation, because he has been avoiding his friend… his boyfriend. It had been, objectively, a terrible plan, considering they have classes together and troupe practice after school. But he’s been panicking ever since he’d found out how dense he’d been, and panicking makes him stupid.
He manages to dodge Rui in the hallways between classes by taking unnecessarily long routes. He sits on the opposite side of the classroom during their shared periods. At lunch, he hides in the library instead of going to his usual spot on the rooftop. But he can’t continue that during Wonder Stage practice — that would just be too suspicious — so he makes up his mind to act normal.
Needless to say, he makes it exactly fifteen minutes into the rehearsals when Rui pulls him aside.
Rui steps closer now, looking apprehensive and even a bit sad. “Did I do something wrong?”
When Tsukasa enacted his plan to stay away from confronting his issues, he had not thought about how Rui would feel. But Rui looks just like a kicked puppy now and Tsukasa can feel something in his heart clench at the sight — no, no, no this isn’t how it’s meant to end up. He wants to hug Rui so badly, but his actions these past two days have undoubtedly hurt him—
“No! You didn’t do anything wrong!” Tsukasa’s words tumble out in a hurry. Those golden eyes that have been looking at him with softness and affection for as long as he could remember, and Tsukasa had just thought—
What had he thought? That Rui looked at everyone that way?
He stops, taking a deep breath. If he doesn’t get this off his chest now, he knows he’ll never be able to muster up the courage again. "Rui, when you asked me to go out with you last month..."
Rui's expression shifts into something more alert. "Yes?"
"What... what did you mean by that?"
There's a long pause. Rui is very still, his eyes searching Tsukasa's face.
"What did you think I meant?" Rui asks carefully.
"I thought you meant... going out. Like friends. Hanging out together." Tsukasa's voice is small. "But Nene said... she said that when someone asks you to go out with them, it means... it means..."
"It means they want to date you," Rui finishes softly. "Yes. That's what I meant."
Tsukasa's breath catches. "So we've been... this whole time... you thought we were..."
"Dating," Rui confirms. "Yes. I thought we were dating." He pauses, then adds quietly, "You didn’t realise?"
"I didn't know!" Tsukasa's voice cracks slightly. "I thought we were just— I didn't think you meant it like that. It just slipped my mind somehow." He covers his face with his hands. "I'm so stupid."
"You're not stupid," Rui says gently. He reaches out slowly, giving Tsukasa time to pull away if he wants to, and carefully takes Tsukasa's hands, lowering them from his face.
"I didn't realise we were dating," Tsukasa says miserably. "For a month. How is that not stupid?"
"It's..." Rui pauses, and there's something almost fond in his expression despite the situation. "You focus so intensely on some things that you miss others completely. For that matter, it’s cute."
"That's just a nice way of saying I'm oblivious."
"Perhaps," Rui allows, and his thumbs trace small circles on the backs of Tsukasa's hands. "But that does leave us with a question. Now that you know..." Rui's voice is soft, careful. "How do you feel about it? About us dating?"
Tsukasa's heart is pounding so hard he's sure Rui must be able to hear it. Something’s just not right with him ever since he’d found out. "I... I don't know. I haven't had time to— I just found out yesterday and I've been freaking out and—"
"Tsukasa-kun." Rui squeezes his hands gently. "Breathe."
Tsukasa takes a shaky breath.
"Let me ask you a different question," Rui says. "When we went to the movies last week, did you have fun?"
"Yes," Tsukasa says immediately. "Of course I did. I always have fun with you."
"And when we got dinner at that ramen place, and you laughed so hard you almost choked because I told that terrible joke about the inventor?"
Despite everything, Tsukasa feels his lips twitch. "That joke was awful."
"It was," Rui agrees, smiling. "But you laughed. And when we spent that evening just walking around the city, talking about nothing in particular, did you enjoy that?"
"Yes," Tsukasa says quietly.
"Then does it really matter whether you knew we were on dates or not?" Rui asks gently. "The only thing that's changed is the label. Everything else—the time we spent together, the things we did, the way we felt — none of that changes based on what we called it."
"But I—" Tsukasa struggles to find the words. "I didn't know. You knew, and I didn't, and that's not fair to you. You were dating someone who didn't even realise he was your boyfriend."
"Boyfriend," Rui repeats, and his smile turns softer. "I like the sound of that. You saying it, I mean."
"Rui," Tsukasa says helplessly. "I'm being serious."
"So am I." Rui is still holding Tsukasa's hands, and he steps slightly closer. "Tsukasa-kun, I'm going to ask you something. Do you want to date me? Not because you feel obligated, not because you’re worried about hurting my feelings, but because you genuinely want to.”
Tsukasa’s breath catches. When it’s put like that, so directly, the answer comes to him easily.
“Yes.”
"Then let me ask you properly this time," Rui says. "Tenma Tsukasa, would you like to go out with me? On dates, as my boyfriend, with full knowledge of what that means?"
"Yes," Tsukasa says, and despite his embarrassment, despite his confusion, despite everything, he's smiling. "Yes, I would like that. Very much."
"Good," Rui says, and his smile is brilliant. "Because I would very much like that too.”
They stand there for a moment, just looking at each other, both smiling like idiots.
Then Tsukasa remembers something.
"Wait," he says. "The hugging from behind—"
"Was me being affectionate with my boyfriend, yes," Rui confirms, looking far too amused.
"So when I kept telling you to stop—"
"I thought you were just embarrassed about public displays of affection," Rui says. "Not that you didn't understand why I was doing it in the first place."
Tsukasa covers his face with his hands again. "I'm never going to live this down, am I?"
"Probably not," Rui agrees cheerfully. Then, more gently, "But if you genuinely want me to stop hugging you like that, I will. Now that we're on the same page about... everything."
Tsukasa peeks through his fingers. "I didn't say you had to stop entirely."
"No?" Rui's eyes gleam. "What are you saying, then?"
"I'm saying..." Tsukasa lowers his hands, his face burning but his voice steady. "I'm saying maybe warn me first. So I don't drop things or make a fool of myself."
"I can do that," Rui says softly.
"And maybe... don't do it when other people are watching?" Tsukasa adds. "It's embarrassing."
"Because it makes you look small?" Rui teases.
"Because I can't think straight when you do it," Tsukasa admits, and then immediately regrets being so honest when Rui's expression shifts into something that can only be described as delighted.
"Does it now?" Rui asks, and he's definitely enjoying this too much.
"Don't look at me like that!"
"Like what?"
"Like you're about to do something that will make me even more embarrassed than I already am!"
"I would never," Rui says innocently, and then proceeds to do exactly that by stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Tsukasa's waist from the front this time, pulling him into a proper hug.
Tsukasa makes a startled noise, his hands automatically coming up to grip Rui's shoulders. "Rui—"
"Is this better?" Rui asks, his voice warm with amusement. "You can see me from the front, at least."
"That's not—" Tsukasa's face is burning, but he doesn't pull away. "You're impossible."
"You like me anyway," Rui points out.
And Tsukasa... can't really argue with that.
"Yeah," he admits quietly, letting himself relax into the hug. "I do."
They stay like that for a moment, and it's nice. It's really nice. Tsukasa can feel Rui's warmth, can hear his heartbeat, and for the first time in a month, he understands what this means.
He has a boyfriend. Rui is his boyfriend. They're dating. The thought makes him want to hide his face in embarrassment and also smile so wide his face hurts.
"Tsukasa-kun," Rui murmurs, and his voice is soft, affectionate. "Can I kiss you?"
Tsukasa's brain short-circuits yet again. "What?!"
"A kiss," Rui repeats patiently, pulling back just enough to look at Tsukasa's face. "I'd like to kiss you. If that's alright."
"I— you— we—" Tsukasa is malfunctioning, though he can’t help wondering what it would be like with Rui’s lips on his. He imagined it’d feel nice…
"Is that a yes or a no?" Rui asks. "I won't if you're not comfortable."
"I'm—" Tsukasa takes a breath, trying to organise his thoughts. "I've never done it before."
"Neither have I," Rui admits, and that surprises Tsukasa enough that he actually looks up properly. "This would be my first kiss too."
"Really?"
"Really." Rui's smile is soft, genuine. "So we can figure it out together. If you want to."
Tsukasa's heart is pounding so hard it's practically trying to escape his chest. But when he looks at Rui — at his soft expression, at the way he's waiting patiently for an answer, at the fact that he's willing to wait as long as Tsukasa needs — the answer is suddenly more than obvious.
"Okay," Tsukasa says quietly. "Kiss me."
Rui's smile brightens, and he shifts his hands so one is cupping Tsukasa's face gently, his thumb brushing along Tsukasa's cheekbone. "Close your eyes," he murmurs.
Tsukasa does, and then—
It's soft. Sweet and gentle. Brief. Just a press of lips against lips, nothing more complicated than that, but it makes Tsukasa's entire world tilt on its axis. And he loves it so, so much.
When Rui pulls back, Tsukasa's eyes flutter open to find Rui looking at him with such tender affection that it makes his chest ache.
"Was that alright?" Rui asks softly.
"Yeah," Tsukasa breathes, and he's smiling so hard his face hurts.
"Good," Rui says, and he's smiling too, that soft genuine smile that Tsukasa now realises has been reserved just for him all along. "Because I'd very much like to do that again sometime.”
With the two of them, it’s always been this simple.