Work Text:
It was cold. It was night
I was with you, some time ago
But you were laughing to hide your crying
In shock and dazed, we walked away
You said "be careful.” Some lights were shining
They came much closer. We started hiding
Then it was silent. I heard you breathing
But far away, someone was screaming
Some dogs were growling. We started running
We kept on running until the daylight
And it was cold. The smoke was heavy
Casualties high. No one was ready
It was cold. It was night
I was with you, some time ago
You said "no, no," in desperation
The world we knew, in desolation
“It was Cold”
The Ruts, 1979
As she drove home after what she’d witnessed, there was little trace of the cool, collected Agent Walker present. Sarah Walker, the woman who had to admit to herself that she was in love with the nerd, was the one clutching the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles were white.
This wasn’t the first time that she’d thought that she’d lost him, and just like the others, it had rocked her world. However, now that she’d finally accepted her feelings, it seemed to hit even harder.
Her inability to protect him, in her agent mode, had completely shaken her. The fact that Casey had been in a state of shock too probably exacerbated that.
It was typical Chuck, though. Doing what he could to save others.
Hearing the explosion on the other side of the train that passed by, and seeing the flames shoot up into the air, had hurt her far more than any bullets she’d received.
She’d broken down and should’ve been worried about doing that in front of her NSA partner, but he was so shaken that he probably didn’t even notice.
Chuck then appeared and acted happy until he saw their faces and apologized.
She was obviously relieved, but was still so shaky that she had to get away. So, here she was, driving back to where she’d gotten the car and planned to get hers to head back to Maison23, knowing that she would probably get no sleep that night, exhausted though she felt after the day she’d had. A day where she had felt that she’d lost him mentally when he’d shouted at her over Morgan, and then this.
She needed some distraction, so she played the radio in the car she was driving.
The presenter said, “Here’s a favorite of mine from the past. Dark and brooding.”
She thought that was typical. It wouldn’t lighten her mood, at all. She was going to change the channel, but the music started and the bass guitar notes stopped her. Yes, it was a dark moody tone, but quite captivating. Then, the vocalist started singing, and every word echoed the pain she was currently feeling. She should have stopped it playing, but couldn’t.
The ending was so bleak, and extremely haunting.
After returning the car and starting to drive home in her own, Sarah couldn’t stop thinking about that song. It seemed to sum up her life, somehow; that would undoubtedly end badly. She was prepared for that, but not for losing Chuck.
She knew she’d be seeing him again, but needed some downtime before that… to get over this afternoon.
When she finally reached her room, she kicked off her shoes and collapsed onto the bed.
Unexpectedly, sleep enveloped her immediately.
It was cold. It was night
I was with you, some time ago
But you were laughing to hide your crying
In shock and dazed, we walked away
Sarah and Chuck had gone out for the night and had somehow ended up on this hotel rooftop where there was a lot of alcohol flowing and music playing. She’d enticed him onto the dance floor, just like she had on their first night together.
They were dressed as they had been back then, but the chilly air was making her feel cold. She hoped that the dancing would help correct that.
Suddenly, they were somewhere else completely. This was the Siberian mission that she’d been on. Freezing cold, but that would change soon when the site was hit by the bombs being dropped. She’d heard the strike was coming and so was trying to get away, but why the hell was Chuck with her?
Then, they were back on that rooftop, but the atmosphere had changed. Four men in black suits had arrived, armed with machine guns and were mowing dancers down.
She grabbed Chuck’s hand and pulled him to the nearest exit.
They escaped in his Nerd Herder, but only just.
You said "be careful.” Some lights were shining
They came much closer. We started hiding
Just like before, they were followed, but unlike last time, they managed to evade the followers, although the car had been stopped. Hiding and holding onto each other for warmth, Sarah had to admit having Chuck’s arms around her felt good, even in this situation.
However, Chuck’s teeth were chattering. He was desperately cold, and probably terrified, too.
Then it was silent. I heard you breathing
But far away, someone was screaming
Chuck wasn’t the best at hiding. He couldn’t breathe silently, even though that was what they needed. The men following them weren’t NSA agents like before. They probably weren’t agents, at all. They just seemed to be killers who didn’t want anyone from the rooftop to live.
When she heard screams and gunshots, she knew that others must have temporarily escaped the slaughter, but had then been found.
Why the hell didn’t she have her gun? She should be able to protect the man she loved! Hell, he didn’t even know that she did!
She brought her mouth up so that she could whisper to him. “Chuck, I will protect you. You will survive this.”
“How?” he asked. “They’re killers, Sarah!”
So, he didn’t know about her skills, just like back then. “I’m a CIA operative, Chuck, and I’ll protect you with my life.”
He managed not to raise his voice, but was firm, “No. I’ll protect you with mine.”
He tried to get up, but she held him down. She could feel the tears forming. “Please don’t. I couldn’t live without you!”
He looked at her. “Nor I without you, Sarah.” The conviction in his voice matched the certainty in his expression.
God, they were a pair!
Some dogs were growling. We started running
We kept on running until the daylight
“Then we need to get away,” she said.
They couldn’t use the Nerd Herder. That had been hit with a rocket shortly after they left it. The vehicle was still in flames. So, they ran, and kept on running.
Somehow, they shifted to Siberia again with the cold seeping into their bones. It was only the exercise that was warming them, because the fear was chilling them further.
As the sun rose, she looked back. First, she saw the bombed encampment in Siberia, flames still licking from the ruins.
And it was cold. The smoke was heavy
Casualties high. No one was ready
Then, the image shifted and she first focused on his company car in flames, then panned back and saw the hotel rooftop also in flames, along with several other buildings.
They managed to reach his apartment. That had felt like an important achievement, but she regretted it as soon as they walked through the door.
You said "no, no," in desperation
The world we knew, in desolation
Both his sister and her boyfriend were sprawled on the couch. Blood trickling from the bullet holes in their foreheads.
Their whole existence suddenly felt so much worse. She wasn’t sure that she’d ever be able to console Chuck.
She was frozen, staring at the scene before her, just like she had been this afternoon. That was probably why she didn’t detect the motion from the bedrooms until too late.
Chuck, who was kneeling in front of his dead sister, was hit by two bullets, one to his chest and one between his eyes.
Even as the man raised his gun to point it at her, she screamed her pain at what had just happened. She now wanted the bullet that was heading her way!
Sarah woke screaming and then tears flooded down her face. It took her several minutes for her to work out where she was and that it had all been a dream.
She grabbed her phone and pressed the speed dial.
“Sarah?”
Just hearing his voice was wonderful, but she still burst into tears.
“Sarah! What’s wrong?” Chuck sounded worried.
“I’ll call back,” she choked out before ending the call.
It took a while, but she eventually managed to stop both the tears and the sniffing. She knew him, he’d be worried about her. She had to ring back.
He answered immediately, “Sarah, I’m getting one of the other cars to come to you.”
That was the last thing she needed. If he came in, she’d probably not be able to control herself. She’d blurt out her true feelings for him and in no time she’d be so compromised that she’d be sent away.
“No, please don’t! I just needed to hear your voice to remind me that I didn’t lose you today.”
He was silent for a few moments. It wasn’t a full confession of her love for him, but it probably hinted at it. She should make some comment about the Intersect being lost, but couldn’t seem to, in her current state.
“I’m so sorry, Sarah. I’ll try to keep you informed in future.”
She wanted to shout at him not to do anything so stupid again, but the thought of him snapping back at her again stopped her. “Thanks,” she meekly replied.
“Casey and I briefed the general on what happened,” He told Sarah. Her not being there would’ve been noted. She groaned. “We said you were recovering from your fight with one of their team.”
So, he’d been covering for her, too. God, he was perfect!
“Devon has something planned at the Buy More. I don’t agree with it, but now I’m staying here, I should show support.” He paused for a moment. “Would you join me to watch?”
So, he wasn’t still upset with her. Sarah had no idea what they were going to watch, but she instantly replied. “I’m coming.”
Ending the call, she patched up her makeup, changed clothes and headed out.
Chuck was waiting for her just inside the store. “This may be the worst thing that Devon has ever done, but we’ll see,” he said.
She looked at him. He seemed to have completely forgotten everything that had happened. She cocked her head and joked, “Something not awesome?"
He laughed as they walked further into the store which made her grin.
Everyone was standing facing the same way. She spotted Jeff and Lester who started to play a song. Devon was here auditioning for the wedding. This was going to be bad, but she kept quiet about it.
After a while she looked sideways at her cover boyfriend. “I wanted to apologize. I should have been more sensitive about your friendship with Morgan.” She sighed and honestly stated, “It’s difficult. I don’t have anyone in my life that cares about me like that.”
Chuck replied without hesitation, “Yeah, you do.”
The way he looked at her made her heart soar and brought a smile to her face. He then reached for her hand and she held it tightly. Possessively.
They looked back at the performance. Jeff and Lester might not be that great, but she no longer cared. She had Chuck with her again. She would do everything she could to ensure that continued.