Chapter 1: Christmas on the Farm
Chapter Text
Goku, Naruto, Luffy, Ichigo, and Yami Yugi were driving in Goku’s Capsule Corp pickup truck on his way to his farm for Christmas. Naruto looked outside seeing the snow falling on the ground. The snow blanketed the rural landscape in a sea of white. There were bushes of holly growing on the sides of the road, the cardinals were hunting for the holly berries, and the sound of Christmas cheer was in the air. Everyone was singing Jingle Bells while Goku was driving the truck.
“So, Mr. Goku?” Naruto asked. “Are we spending Christmas with you?”
“Darn right!” Goku was happy to see Chi-Chi, Krillin, Vegeta, Bulma, Gohan, Goten, Master Roshi, and Mr. Satan for the Christmas gathering at his farm. Goku stopped the truck at the farmhouse and knocked on the door. Chi-Chi answered.
“Goku, you’re home!” Chi-Chi was happy to see Goku for Christmas. “Come in, I invited some people to spend the holidays together.” Goku came in with all his friends, and they started mingling with the people Chi-Chi invited.
“Hey, Kakarot, who are all these alien people, and why are they here!” Vegeta was curious why some unknown strangers were at Goku’s Christmas party. “What planet are they from and whatever planet they are from, I will destroy it.”
“They aren’t from any planet, Vegeta.” Goku clarified. “They’re from anime.”
“Anime, you say?” Vegeta was puzzled as to how they hopped dimensions.
“Well, when I was training, I accidentally discovered the multiverse by flying around off King Kai’s planet, and that’s how I got to know all these people.” Goku explained. “This blonde guy is Naruto. Where he is from, ninjas have superpowers, but unlike Saiyans, there are plenty of them and they actually help people instead of blowing them up.”
“Sounds lame.” Vegeta sighed.
“HEY!” Naruto shouted. “At least I try to make the world a better place by making people’s lives better while you just want death and destruction! You’re even worse than Sasuke!”
“I don’t know who the hell that is.” Vegeta nodded his head to the side.
“In my world, pirates have superpowers and they gain them from eating fruits called Devil Fruits.” Luffy added. “The downside is that they can’t swim.”
“A pirate who can’t swim?” Vegeta gave an evil smile on his face, mocking Luffy. “Don’t make me laugh. How can you call yourself a pirate! You’re just a coward!”
“What did you say?” Luffy was mad. Vegeta was going to turn Super Saiyan, ready to fight Luffy. The two geared in battle poses but before they could fight, Bulma threw them across the room Izumi Curtis style, throwing them in opposite directions.
“KNOCK IT OFF!” Bulma yelled. “HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS?” Bulma was getting mad. “CHILL THE FUCK OUT!”
“As much as I love a good Avril Lavigne song, I say she’s right.” Ichigo mentioned. “Chill out, whatcha yelling for?”
“Avril Lavigne?” Yugi replied. “Isn’t she one of the ancient Egyptian Gods?”
“No.” Ichigo corrected Yugi.
“Well, she should be.” Yugi remarked. “I am going to grab some eggnog and add some scotch to it.”
“You’re not old enough to drink!” Ichigo told Yugi.
“I’m 5,000 years old, it’s fine.” Yugi went to get some eggnog while Chi-Chi was cooking the Christmas feast, preparing the turkey. There was a ring of the doorbell, and Luffy answered it. It was Sanji, Usopp, Zoro, and Nami.
“Hey crew!” Luffy greeted everyone. “Sanji, there’s a hot woman cooking the feast, so you should help her!” Sanji rushed to the kitchen to begin helping Chi-Chi cook the feast.
“Hello gorgeous madame, I am Sanji, your beloved cooking assistant!” Sanji’s eyes turned to hearts and his nose was spouting blood at the sight of Chi-Chi.
“Sorry pretty boy, but I am married.” Chi-Chi showed Sanji her ring.
“Fine.” Sanji accepted the fact that Chi-Chi was married. “The man who married you must be lucky to have you!”
“That’s far from the truth, but ok.” Chi-Chi sighed.
“So, you want to start cooking?” Chi-Chi offered. Sanji accepted the offer. “Help me on the stuffing, the mashed potatoes, and the green beans.”
“With pleasure.” Sanji went right to work.
Meanwhile, Luffy and Naruto went outside to build a snowman. Naruto did his hand signs and prepared a jutsu.
“Ice Style, Snowman no Jutsu!” Naruto announced. A snowman appeared in the snow.
“Wow, you’re pretty good at that stuff.” Luffy said to Naruto. "How about we sing a Christmas song together!"
Naruto played some festive music from his phone to set the mood. Naruto and Luffy began to sing a Christmas song together.
Just hear those sleigh bells jingling ring ting tingling too
Come on it’s lovely weather for a ninja and a pirate like you
Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo-hoo
Come on it’s lovely weather for a ninja and a pirate like you
There’s a Christmas party at the home of Son Goku
It’ll be a perfect Christmas Day for me and you
We’ll be singing the songs we love to sing about a thousand times
In the morning we wake up when the sun will shine! OH YEA!
Its a happy feeling that nothing in the world can buy
When we pass around the egg nog and the cherry pie
We’ll be singing the songs we love to sing by Naruto and I
These wonderful things are the things we will remember most every day
These wonderful things are the things we will remember most every day
Just hear those sleigh bells jingling ring ting tingling too
Come on it’s lovely weather for a ninja and a pirate like you
Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling yoo-hoo
Come on, it's lovely weather for a ninja and a pirate like YOU!! YEA!”
Naruto went inside with Luffy to get something to eat, but he got a phone call and had to answer it. He answered the call, and it was Hinata.
“Hinata, what’s up?” Naruto asked.
“Naruto, as Hyuga Heiress I am in the middle of a photoshoot for Hyuga-Cola, our family owned soft drink brand.” Hinata was holding a Hyuga-Cola can, which looked like a yellow can with a white and red yin yang on it.
“Well, I am at a Christmas party at a friend’s farm, and I would love for you to come!” Naruto begged Hinata, sad that he couldn’t see his sweetheart on Christmas Eve.
“I am going to do my Christmas shopping for you and then I will come to you, ok Naruto?” “Ok.” Naruto agreed. Naruto hung up the phone, sad to see Hinata running late.
Chapter 2: Pass It On
Summary:
The Gangan Crew arrives, and Ed bonds with Luffy.
Chapter Text
Naruto went to get a drink from the refrigerator when suddenly the doorbell rang.
“I will answer it!” Naruto answered the doorbell and in came Joey, Kaiba, Tea, Mai, and Tristan. Joining them was the rest of Team 7 as well.
“Yugi, it’s been a while.” Kaiba greeted Yugi with a disgusted voice.
“It has been a long time, Kaiba.” Kaiba raised a glass and tapped a spoon on the glass, calling everyone to attention.
“I would like to make an announcement.” Kaiba began. “I have recently purchased the Blah Blah Blah App for 100,000,000,000 Yen.” Everyone began to clap. “For years people have been doing annoying challenges on that app, killing themselves eating dishwasher pods and lighting themselves on fire, man they sure got a lot of nerves.”
“I heard people vandalized gas station bathrooms just for Blah Blah Blah views.” Tristian added.
“Exactly!” Kaiba replied. “That’s why I bought it! I am leaving it billions of dollars in debt so the app will have no choice but to go bankrupt and shut down. Then the world’s youth can learn how to be decent human beings.” Mai went to Kaiba and raised her bottle of wine.
“Cheers to Kaiba’s purchase of the Blah Blah Blah app!” People cheered their glasses and drank, while as hardcore as Mai was, she drank her wine out of the bottle. There was Christmas caroling in the distance, being heard by Yugi. Yugi went to investigate it, looking outside. Outside was Edward Elric, Winry Rockbell, Alphonse Elric, Mei Chang, Maka Albarn, Black Star, Tsubaki, Sebastian Michaelis, Ciel Phantomhive, Akame, and Dandy all singing “Deck The Halls” together.
“It’s the Gangan Gang!” Yugi watched as the Gangan Gang came into the house to celebrate the season. Edward Elric came to the tree, trying to figure out its composition.
“Pretty impressive tree, don’t ya think?” Goku asked Edward.
“The tree is made of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen.” Edward figured out the basic elements that made up a Christmas Tree. “These are the three basic elements that compose a tree, and a Christmas tree is no different.”
“Why do you care what the tree is made of?” Goku was puzzled why Edward Elric analyzed the elemental construction of the tree. “It’s a Christmas Tree, as long as it’s bright and festive, who cares what it’s made of?”
“Sorry.” Edward apologized. “Understanding chemical compositions is just small talk where I come from.”
“Well you come from a really intelligent world.” Goku smiled, giving Edward a rub on the head. “Come on little guy….” Goku was cut off.
“DON’T CALL ME LITTLE!” Edward punched Goku in the head, leaving a big bump on his head.
”I was just being kind!” Goku realized Ed had some buttons that he didn’t want pushed.
“Even if you were, it still pissed me off!” Edward yelled.
Mai was holding a plate of Christmas cookies, carrying it into the living room.
“I made some Christmas cookies if anyone wants some!” Mai announced.
“YAY COOKIES!” Luffy cheered. He gobbled up all the cookies, not sharing any with anyone else.
“You seem like my kinda guy, Mr….” Ed told Luffy.
“Monkey D. Luffy.” Luffy introduced himself. “How about we have some fun together!”
“I am down with that.” Edward agreed. They went to the closet and accidentally found a tunnel that led to a dark cavern under the house.
“What the hell is this place?” Edward asked.
“All I know is if there is any delicious meat in here.” Eren found Edward, pointing a 3DMG blade at him.
“Who goes there!” Eren was defending his domain.
“Who are you and what is this place?” Edward asked.
“I am Eren Yeager, Leader of the Yeagerists.” Eren clarified. “This is the Kodansha Cavern.” Takemitchi, Natsu, and Motoko Kusanagi popped up. This is our domain…well it is until we start our partnership with Disney.”
“WHAT THE HELL?” Luffy snapped. “You are working with DISNEY?
“Well, it’s a partnership, not a buyout, so we will be a PARTNER, not a subsidiary.” Motoko clarified. “Disney got us this gift to celebrate.” Motoko opened a box and it was a Mickey Mouse stone.
“It’s a rock shaped like Mickey’s head.” Edward looked at the rock.
“Disney gave it to Pixar when they bought them, then they gave it to Marvel, then they gave it to the Star Wars people, then they gave it to everyone on Fox, now they gave it to us.” Takemitchi said. “They passed it on.”
“So it’s like the circle of life.” Edward thought. They passed that rock to different people, recycling the same gift over and over. Waste not, Want not!”
“How about I pass it to you, Luffy.” Motoko handed the rock to Luffy. Luffy ate the rock, crushing it with his teeth.
“It was passed down from person to person, until it was eaten.” Motoko sighed.
“Always thinking with your stomach, Luffy.” Edward patted Luffy on the back. Ed and Luffy went back up the tunnel.
Meanwhile, Naruto called Hinata on the phone.
“Hinata, where are you?” Naruto asked.
“HELP!” Hinata cried. “I am being taken captive by an evil Christmas Clown gang! They want to traffic me into the Land of Water so I can be sold as a slave! I cannot let this stand!”
“Hold on, I am on the way!” Naruto did the Thunder God Jutsu to go to where Hinata was to save her.
TO BE CONCLUDED
Chapter 3: Saving Hinata
Summary:
Naruto rescues Hinata
Chapter Text
Naruto knew what he had to do to save Hinata. He arrived in the middle of the Leaf Forest where Hinata was being pulled in a circus wagon attached to a coach pulled by snow white horses with a clown as the jockey. There were clowns riding horseback to escort the wagon.
“Naruto, HELP!” Hinata was banging on the wagon bars, hoping to get out.
“Step away from the bars, girl!” The coach driver bellowed. Naruto tapped into his Sage Chakra and threw a green RasenShuriken, which was a blue RasenShuriken infused with Sage Chakra creating the green pigment. The RasenShuriken hit the coach, destroying it and killing the driver, the escort, and the horses in the process. The wagon was destroyed, sending Hinata flying through the air. Naruto caught her, saving her life.
“Thanks for saving me, Naruto.” A faint Hinata whispered to Naruto’s little ear.
“Anytime, sweetie.” Naruto used his Thunder God Jutsu to teleport back to the Christmas party, ready to celebrate with everyone else.
“Say, Hinata.” Naruto popped Hinata a question. “You said you were going Christmas shopping.”
“That is correct.” Naruto was puzzled about one thing.
“Where are my presents?” Naruto was worried where his presents went. There was a ring of the doorbell to the tune of Jingle Bells. Naruto answered the door, and it was the one, the only Santa Claus.
“Ho ho ho!” Santa laughed.
“Santa, it’s really you!” Naruto wanted to ask Santa where his presents went.
“Before you ask me where your presents went, I will say that before Hinata was kidnapped, I stopped by Ichiraku’s Ramen shop for some ramen while Hinata showed, and I took her boxes and bags and put them on my sleigh before she was kidnapped.” Santa knew he could make it up to Naruto because he knew every anime character’s name in the whole multiverse. Santa handed Naruto his presents, while Naruto was going to open them.
“WAIT!” Santa reminded Naruto. “Wait until tomorrow to open them.”
“Thanks.” Naruto put the presents under the tree.
“Now that everyone is here, how about we celebrate the season together!” Santa joined in the anime characters for a song sequence. Everyone was singing O Come All Ye Faithful together as the snow was falling on Goku’s farmhouse roof outside in the cold winter’s night.
THE END