Work Text:
Lukas doesn't like swimming. It's not like he hates it, the idea simply does not appeal to him.
Mathias loves swiming. Every Monday, he goes to the local natatorium, and more often than not he wants Lukas to join him.
This initially bothered Lukas, and he would constantly configure excuses not to go. He ws feeling sick, he was too tired, he had other plans or a lot of work to do. But occasionally, he joined Mathias, because he liked seeing Mathias so happy.
That's where he is now. His guilt has eaten him alive, so he hasn't sat their Mondays out in maybe a year.
Mathias asks so little of him.
Getting into the water is always hard at first. It freezes his feet, creeping up his spine and crawling up the back of his neck. But it's not so bad after a while, once he's gotten used to it.
The chlorine stings his eyes and leaves an unpleasant taste in his mouth, but he doesn't say anything. He complains too much, and Mathias enjoys their Mondays. It feels unfair to let Mathias know he doesn't enjoy them.
Getting out of the water is hardest, though: the cold air clings to his wet skin and sucks the heat from his body. The locker room floor feels sticky and gross beneath his feet.
They always shower in the locker room afterward, which Lukas particularly hates. The water is still too cold, his swimsuit is heavy and constricting, and it all feels too public.
He shampoos his hair three times, in order to get as much of the pool's chemicals out of his hair. It feels sticky and slimy in his fingers and doesn't foam up like it should. He scrubs at his skin with his bare nails, trying to rid himself of the itchy discomfort these showers always give him.
It does little.
Even after he's turned off the water, his towel is scratchy and hurts his skin. He doesn't have anything microfiber for his hair, so it always feels weird afterward.
He rubs lotion over his entire body as soon as he can, trying to fight the inevitable dryness. He uses more than he should for his face, but he'd rather his skin be oily than to still linger with the stench of chlorine.
Even when he chenges back into normal clothes, his skin still tingles with discomfort. He bites down all complaints and scratches at his dry arms, as if he can scrape off the filthiness with his nails.
Mathias always catches him doing so, and always makes him stop by grabbing his wrists and holding his hand as they walk out of the building.
The drive home isn't so bad. Leaving the natatorium is like leaving bad feelings, the further away they get, the more Lukas forgets.
When they get home, they always eat snacks and cuddle together before eventualy falling asleep in each other's arms, their activities having drained them both of any remaining energy. Lukas always likes this part.
When he wakes up, his hair is fluffy and dry and his skin feels warm and clean and his clothes don't stick to his skin and he feels safe and loved and his guilty conscience isn't gnawing at his insides.
He knows, distantly, that one day he'll have to admit that he hates their chlorine Mondays, but he dreads that day.
"You used to love swimming," Mathias will say. And he'll be right, because Lukas did used to love swimming. But he doesn't anymore, now it makes him cold and sick, but he won't tell Mathias that.
It's not really so bad is it? Mathias is happy, and it doesn't last long.
So, every Monday, when Mathias goes swimming, Lukas will join him.