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Published:
2025-12-19
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Jingle Bells: Star Wars Edition

Summary:

A little something I put together for the holidays. Inspired by the Batman parody of the classic holiday song, but with the classics from a galaxy far, far away. Enjoy, and may the Force be with you : )

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Prequel Trilogy

Jingle Bells

Jar-Jar fell

The Clones attacked

The Chancellor becomes the Emperor

And spinning is a good trick

Hey, Jingle Bells

Clone Wars

Jingle Bells

Rotta smells

Skyguy got a padawan

The Venators are no more

And the Clones execute Order Sixty-Six

Hey, Jingle Bells

The Bad Batch

Jingle Bells

Tech falls down

Crosshair loses his squad

The clone troopers get replaced by stormtroopers

And the Calvary has arrived

Hey, Jingle Bells

Solo

Jingle Bells

Lando's smug

Becket is tone deaf

Qi'ra betrays Dryden Voss

And Hans wins the Falcon fair and square, baby!

Hey, Jingle Bells

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Jingle Bells

Anakin's gone

Leia gets kidnapped

Obi-Wan reunites with Qui-Gon

And the hermit says, "Hello there"

Hey, Jingle Bells

Rebels

Jingle Bells

Kallus fails

Ezra stole a holocron

Kanan gained an apprentice

And some things far more frightening than death

Hey, Jingle Bells

Andor

Jingle Bells

Maarva's down

Cassian goes to prison

K-2SO gets a new reprogramming

And the monster who is screaming the loudest is Emperor Palpatine

Hey, Jingle Bells

Rogue One

Jingle Bells

The Death Star's built

Jedha gets blown up

The Rebels won thanks to Rogue One

And Krennic chokes on his aspiration

Hey, Jingle Bells

Original Trilogy

Jingle Bells

Wookie's smells

Luke lost a hand

The Death Star hit a star

And I am a Jedi like his father before him

Hey, Jingle Bells

The Mandalorian

Jingle Bells

Grogu's hungry

The Razor Crest is toast

Gideon loses to the Mandalorians

This the way

Hey, Jingle Bells

The Book of Boba Fett

Jingle Bells

Rancor's mad

Jawa's are furry

The Pikes are beaten by some bikes

And Boba intends to rule with respect

Hey, Jingle Bells

Ahsoka

Jingle Bells

Skoll's no Jedi

The New Republic is a joke

Ahsoka goes to a galaxy far, far away

And Thrawn returns as heir to the Empire

Hey, Jingle Bells

The Resistance

Jingle Bells

Tamara groans

Neeku gets a pet

Bucket loses his helmet

And Kaz sure can fly

Hey, Jingle Bells

Sequel Trilogy

Jingle Bells

Chewie got shot

Kylo Ren broke his helmet

The Resistance holds its stance

And Rey became a Skywalker

Hey, Jingle Bells

Bonus

Jingle Bells

Grievous coughs

Tarkin is a psycho

R2's in all the trilogy movies

The balance is restored

And May the Force be with you

Happy Holidays : )

Notes:

And a happy new year to all the fellow Star Wars fans out there : )