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The crowd was packed, rain was falling, and before Till knew it, the music had begun.
He sang, words mindlessly pouring out of him just as he had memorised. The lights flickered as his competition, Ivan, walked onto the stage.
His heart skipped a beat hearing Ivan sing, but he knew what would happen. He’d seen old videos of other rounds. Till knew what was going to happen next; he was dreading it… it was the end of his story.
But instead of pain, he felt Ivan press his lips against his.
There was a wave of shock, but then he felt… soft. He’d wanted this for years, but was blinded by the girl he idolised. He never acknowledged the boy he truly loved.
But all this love was soon going to be ripped away.
That’s the thing with the alien stage… with life, nothing good stays. Ever.
Till felt Ivan’s lips leave his.
He felt hands around his neck… Ivan’s hands.
It hurt… then he heard it.
A gunshot.
Till was losing air.
Then another.
Till was barely conscious.
Then Ivan let go. Till clutched his neck; it really hurt, but what hurt more was seeing Ivan fall to the floor, laying in his own blood.
…
Till shot out of bed, sweating despite it being cold.
“Huh… another nightmare,” Till mumbled, turning over to see Ivan laying next to him.
Ivan was Till’s long-time roommate. They had grown really close over the years, so it wasn’t unusual for them to share a bed.
“Till,” Ivan mumbled sleepily.
“Yea?” Till said, getting out of bed and putting his shirt on.
“Merry Christmas Eve,” Ivan said, extending his arms up for a hug.
An image of Ivan laying dead flashed into Till’s mind for a split second…
He walked over to Ivan and lay down in his arms. Till felt warm… safe, even.
“Come on, let’s go make breakfast,” Till mumbled, sitting up.
“Alright,” Ivan said, getting out of bed.
They walked into the kitchen together.
“So what do you wanna eat?” Till asked, putting his apron on.
“Anything, as long as it’s made by youuu,” Ivan said cheerfully.
He sat down at the kitchen counter, admiring Till as he cooked.
Till’s phone buzzed.
“Oh, Ivan, could you check that for me?” Till asked.
“Sure!” Ivan got up, grabbed the phone, and sat back down. “Oh, it’s Luka… he says him and Hyuna can’t make it tonight ’cause he’s gonna do the thing? What thing?” Ivan said, sounding confused.
“Oh yea, I think he wants to propose or something,” Till said. He mindlessly started humming a song.
It felt so familiar, yet Till had never heard this song.
“Well, that’s a shame, since Mizi and Sua aren’t coming either. I guess it’s just you and me, huh?” Ivan said, sounding slightly sad.
“Yea… but I don’t mind spending time with you,” Till mumbled.
There was tension.
Tension…
There always had been slight tension between them ever since they met.
Like they both felt something, but were too afraid to say it or acknowledge it at all.
But why? Why be scared? If there’s something between them, why not try it… there’s no harm in trying.
But both of them were too damn stubborn.
Till stared at Ivan, longing for his affection, but he wouldn’t say that.
They had both finished their food, so Till started to clean up.
“Hm, you’d make a good house husband,” Ivan said, half joking.
“You know what, fuck this, I’m telling him,” Till thought while washing dishes.
He spun around to face Ivan, who was, for some reason, standing there already.
“Ivan, I, uh… I like you,” Till said.
“I like you,” Ivan said at the exact same time as Till.
Both of them just stood there, surrounded by Christmas lights and decorations they still needed to put up.
“Y-you like me?” Ivan asked slowly.
“Yea… and you like me back,” Till said, his face flushing.
“Mhm, I have for a while… since we met, actually,” Ivan admitted, avoiding eye contact.
Till didn’t hesitate. He kissed Ivan, and Ivan kissed him back.
They pulled away.
“U-uh, Merry Christmas?” Till said, clearly flustered.
“Merry Christmas…” Ivan mumbled.
They stood there, just holding each other, not wanting this moment to slip away.
…
But that’s not how it works… not for Till.
’Cause in a blink, everything would be gone.
Till opened his eyes, but he wasn’t in the kitchen anymore… he was on a stage.
It was a dream, or maybe a hallucination… Till couldn’t tell.
A voice echoed in his mind… Ivan’s voice.
“Thank you for being a victim… of my shallow emotions,” Ivan said before his voice faded.
There was nothing left… this could be a dream. Till didn’t care anymore, though… his love is dead.
And soon…
He would be too…
“Oh, in a blink, gone…”
End