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seaQuest

Ben smiled softly to himself as he walked around the boat, arms laden with Christmas costumes, softly humming Jingle Bells. As supply and morale officer, the holidays meant he could really show off his talents. Most of the time, he felt like the rest of the crew didn't think he did all that much, but now he could forget about that. He was determined to prove he was more than just a punchline, and he genuinely enjoyed boosting morale—the very reason the UEO had hired him. He knew what he had planned would do just that, and the brass had even requested he come up with something that would help the UEO's PR.

He had arranged for the seaQuest senior staff to visit the Pearl Harbor Children's Hospital to spread some Christmas cheer. The reason they'd be in Pearl was two-fold: the seaQuest needed to dock anyway to make a few repairs after the damage from the Milos Teslov incident. The brass loved the idea, and when Ben told the senior staff, they seemed equally excited. He couldn't stop himself from grinning ear to ear, thinking about how happy those kids were going to be.

As he entered the crew quarters corridor on B-deck, his first stop was the captain's room. He knocked on the door and waited patiently. A few moments later, it opened to reveal a bleary-eyed captain.

"Good morning, sir," Ben greeted cheerily, thrusting a plastic-covered red suit toward him. "Here's your costume. I double-checked the size; it should fit you perfectly. Oh, and don't forget the beard. You don't want to disappoint the kids."

"I didn't realize you'd be showing up quite so early," Nathan said, scrubbing a hand across his face as he accepted the suit from the lieutenant. "Or it feels early anyway. What time is it exactly?"

Ben shifted the other costumes from one arm to the other so he could check his watch. "0700 hours, sir." He paused, eyeing the captain carefully and noting the grimace on his face. "I thought I was being generous by letting you sleep in. You're normally awake way before now, and our gig doesn't start until 1400 hours. Figured that would give everyone enough time to get ready for our stay in Pearl and into their costumes before we dock. I need everyone bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the little ones. Only…" His brow furrowed. "You don't seem like you're fully awake yet. We'll be docking soon, you know."

"I'm awake, I promise," Nathan muttered. "But I guess you didn't know I was up half the night."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware. Is everything all right?"

"Well, things still aren't working correctly. Commander Hitchcock and I were trying to get the navigation system in order to set us on course for Pearl." He stifled a yawn. "Don't worry, though—we figured out a temporary fix, so we'll get there. I promise I'll be the best Santa those kids have ever seen. I'd visit Commander Hitchcock's room last, though. Let her sleep a little longer."

"Noted," Ben replied, shuddering slightly at the thought of an angry Katie. "I'll save her for last. Next stop is Mrs. Claus's quarters anyway." He gave a lighthearted salute. "See you later, then."

Nathan returned the gesture. "Later."

ℋ̝̝̰͔̔̐̈́ͧ𝓪̲̇ͭ̈́̃𝓹̺͓͕̠𝓹̜͕̬͔̂̋𝔂̗̤̪͇̎̽ͬ ͙̻̥͗ͦℋ͕̔ͭ𝓸̼̤ͨ̃̆ͦ𝓵̜̳̿̚𝓲̬͉ͤ̀𝓭͉̬͓̟̊̅𝓪̪̫ͮ͐̈́𝔂͓̪͇ͮ𝓼̫͔̏͗̿̈

"You're absolutely sure you can't make it?" Kristin crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her daughter's face displayed on the vid-screen. "No matter what's going on in our lives, we've always managed to get together during the holidays."

"I know, Mom," Cynthia replied, running a hand through her hair. "Please don't think I don't want to see you. I just really can't get away. I thought you of all people would understand, married to the job and all that."

Kristin shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She hated it when her daughter threw things like that in her face. On the one hand, she completely understood her daughter's own quest for change in the world. She was proud that she'd raised her to be a strong, independent woman, which she was, but on the other... Kristin had always managed to make time for her family, no matter what type of work she was doing. She wondered if she'd failed to teach that lesson to her daughter. For a split second, she thought about laying a guilt trip on her, then quickly decided against it.

That would only make me sound like a hypocrite, and I really don't want to make her feel guilty, she thought. Well, not too much anyway. I just want her to understand how important this is. We've barely seen much of one another this year. Then again, I haven't told her half of what I've been doing…

Kristin gave a slight shake of her head. Of course, she couldn't tell her, could she? Most of her work was classified after all, so there was much she couldn't say. All Cynthia knew was what the news headlines read; she wasn't aware that the Chief Medical Officer was usually in the midst of the danger with the rest of the crew.

Therefore, though it didn't help Cynthia wasn't very forthcoming about what her line of work was either, Kristin felt she had no right to criticize. It was time to treat her daughter like the mature adult she was. You just need to remember you raised her right, she reminded herself. If you—

"Mom?"

Cynthia's voice brought her back to the conversation at hand. "Sorry," she muttered. "I was just—"

"You're okay with this, aren't you?"

Kristin sighed. Her daughter's voice sounded small now, uncertain. "Of course I understand, dear." She forced a reassuring smile for Cynthia's benefit. "I'm just a little disappointed. Also, I'm not married to my job. I do my best to make time for you whenever you need me, don't I?"

"Of course you do," Cynthia said gently. "I didn't mean to make it sound like you didn't. I just hate it when you make me feel guilty. Do you know what that does to me?"

"Sorry, I'm really not trying to. I just wish you could tell me more about what you're doing these days. It would help me worry less."

Cynthia smiled softly. "You don't quite like it when the shoe's on the other foot, do you? Well, like you, some things I do are classified. I really can't tell you more than that, but I assure you I'm safe, so please don't worry. I can take care of myself; you taught me everything I need to know. Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you," she replied, unable to hide the frown that crept across her face. That was another thing she hated her daughter doing to her. "But I'll always worry about you. That's my job, and that will never stop. But maybe you can at least call me on Christmas?"

"You can count on that, and I should have a bit more time after the first of the year. We'll celebrate then, just you and me. I should be able to swing a weekend off."

"That's a deal. I'll just save your present until then."

"Present?" Cynthia's brow rose in surprise. "I thought we agreed we weren't exchanging gifts this year?"

"I said I didn't need you to spend your money on me, but you're my only child. You can't expect me not to get you anything. It's not much, but I know it's something you've mentioned you wanted a time or two." She winked. "But that's the only hint you'll be getting from me. If you want to know what it is, you'll just have to come see me."

"You're evil," Cynthia told her, but her eyes twinkled with amusement. "But you know, that's really not fair. You're my only mother, and you really expect me not to get you anything now?"

Kristin shook her head. "We went over this last year, dear. I told you I don't want anything except to see you. You're the only present I need, and you need your money more than I do."

Cynthia sighed. "And you're impossible to argue with. I just don't want to hear the same lecture when I hand you a gift. It's something I want to do, and you'll like it. It's only because I love you."

"I love you, too, and trust me, I don't plan on ruining this call by arguing with you. I just don't want you to feel obligated nor do I want you spending a ton of money on me."

"I promise I'll be good, but I really should go. Let me double check my schedule to see when we could get together, and I'll definitely call on Christmas. Take care of yourself, and while you're at it, talk to the captain. I don't want you being single forever," she said, giving her mother a wink.

Kristin felt her cheeks grow warm. "Cynthia Ann! It's not... I don't... I can't even..." She trailed off, unable to form complete sentences.

"You know it's true. Go talk to him. Now that you'll be free for Christmas, seems a good time as any to get together, hm?" Cynthia crossed her arms over her chest. "And don't give me that look; you know I'm right. I expect you to tell me how it all went next time we speak." She blew her mother a kiss as her other hand hovered over the disconnect button. "Love you, Mom. Take care."

Before Kristin could protest or reply, the screen went blank. "Love you too," she muttered, giving a shake of her head and heaving a sigh. Though she wasn't exactly thrilled her Christmas plans were derailed, she couldn't stay angry with her daughter. However, doing that other thing that Cynthia had suggested was going to be far more challenging. She and Nathan had barely spoken in weeks, and it wasn't from lack of trying on her part. Everything had been fine between them until Milos Teslov turned everything upside down just one month prior.

Well, perhaps not fine, exactly, but they'd at least been talking then.

Before Kristin stepped foot on seaQuest, it had been years since she'd given a second thought to pursuing a romance with anyone. That changed the moment she met Nathan Bridger. It didn't take her long to notice the longing looks, the gentle touches. It might have been a while, but she remembered what it was like when a man was interested in her. It had awoken something inside her, that yearning for intimacy, to have a close bond with another human being; she started to realize she cared for Nathan as more than a friend and did her best to send him the signals to let him know she was just as interested.

The problem was he was blind to it all. Or she decided he had to have been, because he started giving her the cold shoulder. Not that he'd stopped speaking to her, but he stopped giving her those longing looks, stopped putting his arm around her shoulders or on the small of her back. At first, she couldn't tell if he'd lost interest or if he wanted her to take the lead, but she was an old-fashioned sort of woman. She had no problems sending him signals, but she wanted him to make the first move. When that didn't happen, she chastised herself, decided she misjudged him and had mistaken a few friendly gestures for something that had never been there in the first place. The only problem with that was she couldn't stop the longing in her heart. Since it had been awakened, it was hard to stifle it, and if Nathan saw her as nothing more than a friend, she decided she'd have to look elsewhere.

That's why when Malcolm asked her to work with him, she'd jumped on the chance. At first, it had simply been an opportunity to get away from Nathan and the seaQuest to clear her head. But after that, she realized Malcolm was sending her signals as well. At first, she held him at arm's length, afraid she'd make the same mistake twice. Except when he moved in for a kiss, she returned it, deciding it was time to give into what her heart had been asking for, even if Malcolm hadn't been her first choice. Of course, Milos Teslov had come in and prevented anything more from happening between them. Then again, thinking back on it now, that was a godsend, because in that other small part of her heart, she knew Malcolm wasn't who she wanted anyway. She was just so desperate to fill that void...

Lucky for her, she was able to bring Teslov back to the boat and then reflect on what could have happened had he not shown up in the first place. She'd made a vow to herself then that she needed to keep her feet on the ground and take things slow, She'd even told Malcolm that, and though he initially wasn't thrilled, he'd understood, agreed to abide by her wishes. Especially since he now had Caesar to raise, thanks to her suggestion.

Kristin had been quite proud of herself then, impressed that she was able to catch herself before she lost her head. Unfortunately, Nathan had ruined that all the moment he'd confronted her on sea deck about her seeing Malcolm in the first place. She couldn't believe he'd had the gall to stick his nose in where it certainly didn't belong. Then she quickly realized it was because he did indeed have feelings for her. Why he'd kept silent for so long, she couldn't be sure. Yet, she couldn't stop herself from getting angry with him, couldn't stop her tongue from forming those accusatory words. "I think you're jealous."

A few frustrated tears welled up in her eyes, because that was the moment when Nathan stopped being so open with her. Even after she told him that she'd decided to keep things between her and Malcolm strictly professional, it was clear the damage had already been done. The whole incident had taken a toll on whatever relationship she and Nathan had. She sadly couldn't remember the last time they'd had a friendly conversation that had nothing to do with work.

Kristin let out a sigh and wiped at her eyes. She made every effort to change things between them. She'd made several attempts to get Nathan to have lunch with her or sit down with a cup of coffee, but something always came up. She could never tell if his excuses were genuine or simply out of convenience. She guessed a little of both. She was inches away from giving up on him. There was only so much emotional torture she could take. If Nathan had feelings for her, he had a strange way of showing it.

She stood and began pacing, still in thought. Maybe Cynthia was right... Maybe the upcoming holidays would be a chance for them to get together, talk things over? He deserves one more chance, doesn't he? We have had a busy month, after all. She nodded, deciding she may have been too hard on him. She glanced towards Cynthia's picture on her wall. "I'll give it another shot, just for you, but if that doesn't work... Well, at least I can't say I didn't try. I—"

A knock at the door stopped her train of thought. "J-just a moment," Kristin called, making a beeline towards the bathroom to check her appearance in the mirror. She didn't want whoever it was to suspect she'd been crying; the last thing she wanted was answering prying questions. She looked all right, she decided, and quickly moved to answer the door. "Oh, Ben, good morning." She hoped she sounded cheery enough. "I didn't realize you'd be here quite so early."

His mouth formed into a slight frown. "Yeah, I keep hearing that, but you look like you've been up for a little while."

She waved a hand. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound like you weren't expected. You're right, I've been up for a while. I received an early morning call from my daughter. I just meant I didn't know you'd be here before breakfast. We've got plenty of time before we need to be at the hospital, don't we?"

Ben nodded. "But I don't want to be doing everything last-minute either. We've got a lot to get ready for, you know." He pulled a costume from his arms and handed it to her. "I just want to make sure I give everyone enough time to do their normal activities and make sure they get into their costumes on time, too. We're supposed to be docking within in a few hours or so." He paused and gave her a scrutinizing look. "Is everything all right, Doc?"

"Of course," she replied, moving to hang the costume in her closet before turning back to him. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"Sorry, I meant with your daughter."

"Oh..." She instantly felt her a rush of warmth in her cheeks for the assumption. "She's just fine, thank you. She was just calling to talk to me about holiday plans."

"I can't believe next week is Christmas already," he replied. "We'll all be going off to be with our families. I'm sure you can't wait to see her."

She simply nodded and forced a smile, not wanting to let on that anything was amiss. "Well, I can see you've got a lot more costumes to deliver, so I better let you get to it," she said, gently nudging him out the door. "Thank you for—"

Only Ben placed a halting hand on the door frame. "Wait a minute, Doc, I wasn't quite finished yet." He gently removed her hand from his arm and gave her another careful look. "Sorry, if you want me to go, I will, but... I'm not blind. You can give me all the fake smiles you want, but your eyes tell a different story. I can tell something's up. You want to talk about it?"

Kristin lowered her gaze and sighed. This is exactly what she didn't want to happen. Not that she didn't like Ben. Truth told, she actually did, even if she didn't always show it. Ben may have been a smart-aleck and a troublemaker, but he was also one of the sweetest men on the boat and he lived up to his job title. She should have known he'd sense something was off about her. "It's nothing, really. Just that I won't be seeing my daughter for Christmas after all. It's not the end of the world. I'm just a little disappointed, but I'll be fine."

She didn't mention her concerns about the captain for obvious reasons. Ben was a wonderful confidante; she'd cried on his shoulder a time or two before, and he'd always helped her feel better. However, gossip on the seaQuest spread like wildfire, and the others picked up on things fairly quickly. Nathan was already upset with her; last thing she wanted was to add to that. "Anyway, you don't need to worry about—" She stopped short when Ben laid the costumes on the table and placed a gentle arm around her shoulders. "I already told you I'm fine," she muttered softly, eyes still fixed to the floor.

"No, you're not," he told her. "It's okay, Doc. You don't need to put on a brave face all the time."

"I don't..." She sighed and leaned her head against his arm. "It's not like I'm about to break down over it. She and I are going to get together after the holidays and celebrate then. It'll be fine."

"That still doesn't make it any easier," Ben said quietly. "You have every right to feel a little sad. Where are you going to go for Christmas now?"

Kristin raised her head and shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead."

"Well, if you want, you could come home with Katie and me."

A brow rose. "You two are going home together?"

He smiled softly. "I know, I know; I guess it sounds a little odd, considering we're not married anymore, but no matter what, our childhood homes will always be a few streets away from one another and our families will always be friends. Hell, I'm just grateful Katie and I are still friends after everything. Anyway, it's just easier to make the trip together. You should come. My mother would love to meet you."

"I'll think about it," she told him. "I really appreciate the offer."

"Hey, what are friends for?" He ran a sheepish hand through his hair. "I mean, I know I'm not always the easiest to deal with, but I try to make up for it when it counts." He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You going to be all right?"

She nodded. "I promise. Thank you for being so understanding. I'm sure Santa will move you to the nice list now," she said with a wink.

"You think so?" Ben's lips kicked up into a grin. "I can't remember the last time I didn't get a lump of coal in my stocking. This might be the year that changes that, huh? Wouldn't that be something?" he said with a laugh, picking up the costumes and moving towards the door.

Kristin gave him a real smile, since he really had helped her feel a little better. "I'll try to put a good word in for you. Thank you."

He nodded. "Anytime, Doc. And you know, speaking of Santa, you should go talk to the captain."

Her mouth dropped open in surprise. "E-excuse me?"

"Don't think the rest of us haven't noticed," he simply replied. "I think that's also the reason why he's been so crabby lately. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure he'll be great with the kids. It'd just be nice to see you two patch things up. All I'll say about that. Later," he said with a wave as he left the room.

Kristin stood there, still in shock. Is nothing secret around here anymore? she wondered, giving a shake of her head. Then again, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing either. It only helped to confirm the others noticed the same things she did, meaning she wasn't crazy after all. Though she hadn't actually planned on seeking Nathan out before the festivities today, Ben had a point. Maybe it would help 'Santa' lift his spirits. Still, she felt awkward just going to his room and demanding he talk to her.

It would help if I had a bit of an excuse, she decided. Only what exactly would that be? She picked up the costume and examined it carefully. Well, I could get changed and say I need help with the zipper? She shrugged. Perhaps a weak excuse, but she really didn't have anything better. Hopefully, it will break the ice enough...

ℋ̝̝̰͔̔̐̈́ͧ𝓪̲̇ͭ̈́̃𝓹̺͓͕̠𝓹̜͕̬͔̂̋𝔂̗̤̪͇̎̽ͬ ͙̻̥͗ͦℋ͕̔ͭ𝓸̼̤ͨ̃̆ͦ𝓵̜̳̿̚𝓲̬͉ͤ̀𝓭͉̬͓̟̊̅𝓪̪̫ͮ͐̈́𝔂͓̪͇ͮ𝓼̫͔̏͗̿̈

"Damn it, this just isn't working," Nathan muttered in frustration, throwing the boot he'd been fighting to get on halfway across the room. He managed to get the Santa suit on without incident, but the fake belly was so large, he had a hell of a time doing much else. Looking back on it now, he probably should have put the boots on before the bulky pillow strapped to his midsection, but it was a little late for that now. Or rather, he decided it was too late; it had taken him half an hour alone to get it on, and there was no way he was taking it off now. He'd just have to work a little harder. He groaned and moved to grab the boot he'd thrown. Then he sat down and tried to pull it on, twisting his leg in such an awkward position that he slipped and fell to the floor, landing on his bottom with a thud. "Ow!" he cried, heaving a sigh. "This is just not my day."

Then again, it really hadn't been his week or even his month. He struggled to get back up only to stumble another time. After a few failed attempts resulting in a rainbow of curse words, he was finally able to get himself onto the sofa. He lay back and closed his eyes, trying to ignore the headache starting to swell right behind his eyelids. "My luck just keeps getting better and better," he muttered with a scowl at the offensive boot in question. "Maybe I should call Kristin and see if she'll bring me something for my head before it gets worse?"

He quickly rethought that. No, he decided with a shake of his head, seeing her is the last thing I need. Sure, his frustrations were currently focused on those blasted boots, but they really weren't the root of his problem. The real problem's just down the hall... he thought, his mouth forming into a frown. I am really not looking forward to today.

Not that Nathan minded being around her. That wasn't the case at all. It was just that things had gotten so awkward between them. The moment the conversation changed to anything but work, he'd clam up. Things were suddenly more complicated. All because of Malcolm.

Nathan gritted his teeth at the thought. He never had much of a problem with Malcolm before; he was one of Nathan's oldest and dearest friends, after all. Sure, they'd fallen out of touch after Carol had passed, but that all changed when Darwin got sick. Malcolm was there when he'd needed him, and it was as if they'd never stopped talking at all. Despite his many quirks and idiosyncrasies, Malcolm was dependable and a true friend. The kind of guy who'd give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. It was no wonder he'd caught Kristin's eye.

He scowled in disgust. But only because I pushed her aside. Nathan truly regretted that more than anything. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Kristin, but he'd failed miserably at that. It was just that after Carol, he'd never expected to have romantic feelings for anyone...or at least not quite so soon. Life obviously had other plans, and Kristin had thrown him for a loop.

Not that he was initially upset about that. She was new, exciting, and refreshing, and she woke up a part of him he assumed had died with Carol. It didn't take him long to realize he was in love with Kristin, except he just didn't want to rush into it all. He'd only recently become a widower, and he didn't want to scare her off. Though he didn't know everything about Kristin's past, he knew that she'd been hurt by past loves, and he didn't want to add to that. Unfortunately, he failed to mention his plan about moving slowly to her.

In fact, he didn't even think to speak to her about the fact he could be in love with her, and he wasn't even sure why. All he could chalk it up to was the fact that it had been ages since he'd courted anyone. He and Carol had met in high school, and he didn't have to do much to let her know he was interested. He assumed he could do the same thing with Kristin. If it had worked once for him, surely it would work again.

And it did...at first. Kristin picked up on his gentle flirting and gave it right back, which drove him to move a bit faster. Only the moment he had her in his arms, the onslaught of emotions was suddenly too overwhelming. He found he wasn't as ready as he thought he was, so he made a conscious decision then and there to keep things strictly platonic between them until he got his bearings. Yet, he still failed to mention any of this to Kristin.

It didn't take her long to get the hint, however. Nathan had made a point to avoid her unless it was work-related. On evenings when both of them were off duty, they'd usually stop in the galley for a cup of coffee and a friendly chat. Except if he wanted to keep things strictly professional between them, that meant that had to end. Realization didn't set in for Kristin until about the third time he refused her invitation. He could still remember the disappointment on her face, the hurt in her eyes...

Kristin decided to wait for him in the corridor after his shift as he stepped through the clamshell doors. "Hello, stranger."

"Hello." He gave her a cordial smile. "Something you wanted?"

She shrugged. "Not really. I was just wondering if you had time for a cup of coffee in the galley? We haven't gotten the chance to do that lately, and well... I miss you. What do you say?"

His heart sank; he missed her too, but he wasn't ready. "I'm kind of tired tonight. It was a long day, and I'd just like to go lie down. How about a rain check?"

Though her smile faded away, she waved a hand. "No worries, I understand. Maybe tomorrow night would work better?"

He hesitated, running a nervous hand through his hair. "I'm not really sure... I guess we'll play it by ear?"

She nodded. "All right, though I get the feeling you're purposely avoiding me." She eyed him carefully. "Are you avoiding me, Nathan?"

"N-no, of course not. I've just been so tired after work lately... I promise we'll catch up very soon." He turned to walk away, but not before he noticed the pained look on her face.

"Right, I understand." She let out a deep sigh. "I might not have as much time myself after this anyway; I've got some new research projects coming up that are going to need all my attention."

He turned back to her then. "We'll catch up eventually."

"Eventually," she repeated with a stiff nod before reaching out and placing a tentative hand on his cheek. "In the meantime, take care of yourself."

"You, too," he told her, putting his hand over hers in an effort to keep her there with him just a little longer.

She allowed her hand to linger for a few seconds longer before pulling away. "I'll see you at the staff meeting. Sleep well."

"You, too, Kris," he said as he watched her walk away.

A frustrated frown pulled at Nathan's lips at the memory of it all now. I'm such an idiot. I should have just been honest with her.

Not long after that, she requested some shore leave, and that's when Nathan caught wind she'd been with Malcolm. Though that made him realize what he would stand to lose if he didn't talk to her, he regretted just how he went about doing it. Though the situation with Milos Teslov had brought her back to the seaQuest, confronting her on sea deck about her shore leave was obviously the wrong move. He was just so angry, he couldn't help himself.

Except he wasn't angry at her. No, he couldn't possibly blame her for looking elsewhere for romance. He had started ignoring her, after all, and Malcolm had been infatuated with Kristin from the moment he met her. So when Nathan had heard she spent her shore leave on Malcolm's island, it really hadn't been much of a shock to him.

Rather, he'd been angry with himself. Angry for pushing her away, angry for hurting her, angry for carrying so much baggage. Just angry.

And it was that same anger that prevented him from moving forward. He'd tried so many times to push past it, but to no avail. Yet, it was Kristin suffering for it.

"Maybe it's better this way?" he muttered.

Except he didn't believe that. She already sent Malcolm on his way, and she'd told him as much, practically spelling it out to him that she was making herself available to him...again.

"And I'm screwing it up royally." Nathan sighed and tried once more to get the other boot on. "Pull yourself together, Bridger. Malcolm's out of the picture, so there shouldn't be a problem." He grunted as he wrestled with the fake belly to get his boot on. "Come on, you little bugger! Just slide on!"

As he fought with the boot, a gentle rapping on his cabin door startled him so sharply, he nearly tumbled off the sofa. "Just...just a second!" he called, somehow getting himself upright and stumbling over to the door.

The moment the door opened, he immediately regretted rushing. Kristin stood framed in the doorway in her Mrs. Claus costume. Nathan almost forgot she was meant to be his counterpart at the children's hospital. His mouth went dry at the sight of her in her red velvet dress with white trim, bare shoulders, hair pinned up in soft curls. She blinked as she looked him up and down for several seconds. "Oh, dear, did I come at a bad time?"

Nathan glanced down at his half-collapsed Santa suit, fake belly cockeyed, his beard crooked, one boot on, and the other lying six feet away. He groaned. "You have no idea." He limped aside to let her pass.

"If only the children knew what Santa went through for them," she said with a tiny laugh.

He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Please don't start. These boots and belly are kicking my behind."

She motioned to the sofa and moved to pick up the other boot. "Have a seat, Santa. Let Mrs. Claus help you, hm?"

Defeated. Nathan did as she asked and held up his foot as she effortlessly pushed his other boot on. "I suppose I should have called you a long time ago." He paused. "Wait a minute, how did you know I needed help?"

She shrugged. "I didn't, actually. I mean, I came here because I…" She turned her back to him, and Nathan noticed her loose zipper. "It seems to be stuck, and I… I tried to call Katie, but she wasn't answering." Her voice softened slightly. "So that's when I decided you might be able to help me instead?"

"Of course. Seems I owe you anyway." As he stepped closer to her, he noticed how her perfume curled around him: warm, clean, and familiar. The kind of familiar that hurt. He winced slightly as his hand touched the zipper pull, his fingers grazing her spine.

Kristin inhaled sharply, not enough to be obvious, but enough for him to notice.

He gently pulled the zipper, bracing for the tension. Except it never came. Instead, the zipper glided up easily. He swallowed hard at the realization. "It...it wasn't stuck."

"Oh? It wasn't?"

Nathan could see through her feigned surprise. "As if you didn't know." He frowned at the way his voice sounded rougher than he intended.

She turned back to him, hands wringing together. "Sorry, I… I just was looking for some way we could talk a bit. You know things between us have been a little—"

He held up a hand. "I don't want to do this right now, Kris. We're supposed to be at the hospital soon, and this damn suit is—"

"It's not about the suit," she whispered, "and you know it."

He looked away, not offering a reply.

After a beat, she spoke again, softer. "Nathan, I just wanted to—"

"I know what you wanted," came his quiet response, still refusing to look at her. "I'm not blind, you know."

She moved to stand in front of him. "Fine, then why can't you see I'm trying to make things right?"

He finally met her gaze. "There's nothing to make right. We're fine."

"You don't sound fine," she noted. "You sound angry."

"Kris, please, now isn't the time. Can't you get that through your head?"

She flinched as if she'd been struck. Then her face fell in a quiet, devastating way. The way she lowered her eyes as if accepting defeat. The way her shoulders tightened, barely perceptible under the velvet, Nathan almost couldn't stand it.

Damn it, Bridger, pull her into your arms, tell her you didn't mean it! Except he hesitated too long, missed his opportunity.

Instead, she gave him a stiff nod. "All right."

The voice in Nathan's head screamed at him. Tell her you're sorry, you idiot!

He stared at her, wishing he could open his mouth to form the words, but he just couldn't.

When she realized he wasn't going to say anything more, she finally said, "I am sorry if I made things worse."

He shook his head. "You didn't." Though he could tell the way he said it did little to comfort her.

She moved towards the door. "I, uh, guess I'll see you in docking bay later?"

"I'll be there."

She hesitated one last moment, turning halfway back as if she might try again, and then she seemed to think better of it. She turned the door handle. "See you there, Captain."

"Kristin, wait," he started, but she was already stepping through the door. "I'm sorry."

Except he found he was too late. The door closed between them with a soft hiss. He should have gone after her, but he couldn't bring himself to move. Instead, Nathan let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and finally sat down, rubbing both hands over his face. "Great," he said flatly. "This is just perfect. Santa and Mrs. Claus can't even be in the same room together. The kids are going to love that."

ℋ̝̝̰͔̔̐̈́ͧ𝓪̲̇ͭ̈́̃𝓹̺͓͕̠𝓹̜͕̬͔̂̋𝔂̗̤̪͇̎̽ͬ ͙̻̥͗ͦℋ͕̔ͭ𝓸̼̤ͨ̃̆ͦ𝓵̜̳̿̚𝓲̬͉ͤ̀𝓭͉̬͓̟̊̅𝓪̪̫ͮ͐̈́𝔂͓̪͇ͮ𝓼̫͔̏͗̿̈

The air in the docking bay smelled faintly of salt and machinery, but the light tinge of peppermint from candy canes made Kristin smile. The crew had been bustling with last-minute preparations for the hospital visit. Ben had commandeered an extra storage locker for gifts and props. Katie and Tim were carefully checking the sleigh harnesses while Miguel was making sure the 'reindeer', a pair of very realistic-looking papier-mâché dolphins outfitted with antlers and harnesses with bells, were secured to the sleigh.

"Ben, I think we need to talk about this costume!"

Kristin turned her head in the direction of Commander Ford's voice and nearly burst into giggles. At least, the voice sounded like Commander Ford, only she couldn't be too sure it was really him. He was dressed in a brown fuzzy onesie, complete with antlers and a round nose that had a little blinking light inside it. Clearly, he was meant to be Rudolph.

"Oh, hey, Commander. You look fantastic!" Ben gushed, moving to where he was standing.

Jonathan shook his head. "No, I don't. I look ridiculous!" He shot Ben a disgruntled scowl. "When I signed up for this, I thought you'd make me an elf. I could do the little dorky hat, but this?" He motioned to the reindeer tail and gave his bottom a little shake. "You don't think I look a little silly in this getup?"

Katie came up behind him and patted his shoulder. "Remember, Jonathan, it's for the kids."

"Exactly," Ben replied. "Besides, I already told you we didn't have tights that were your size. And we have enough elves. Someone had to be Rudolph, and I thought you'd feel honored. I figured you'd love being the one who leads Santa's sleigh," he said, motioning towards the area in front of the dolphin reindeer. "Don't you know how special your role is? You're almost as important as Santa, you know. I guess you'd say you're his second in command, so it's kind of fitting, don't you think?"

"Much as I appreciate art imitating life, I also think the concept is a bit confusing." Jonathan motioned to the dolphin reindeer. "Don't you think the kids will be a little confused why I'm a regular reindeer and why some reindeer are dolphins. Isn't that a bit...odd? And since when can dolphins fly?"

Ben shrugged. "The kids already know we're from the seaQuest, so they'll totally understand it. They'll use their imaginations, so you should too. Also, I tried to get you a dolphin suit, but they were fresh out. So you'll have to stick with the reindeer."

Lucas then waltzed into docking bay, also in an elf costume. "And you know Darwin would be here if he could. He'd love to be the head reindeer, but it'd be kind of hard to move the children's hospital underwater."

"Except everyone else gets to be an elf except me," he grumbled before looking towards the youngest elf. "Can't we switch costumes, Lucas? Wouldn't you just love to be the head reindeer?"

Kristin smiled softly as the conversation continued; they hadn't noticed her presence yet, so she was enjoying being a bystander. Admittedly, the cheerful chaos should have lifted her spirits, but she found her stomach twisting anyway, unable to take Nathan off her mind. She turned her attention away from Rudolph and the elves for a moment, scanning the docking bay to see if he was there yet.

Before she could get a proper survey of the area, however, she heard Ben yell. "Hey, Mrs. Claus is here! All systems go! We've got elves...and Rudolph too!" He turned towards the still grumpy-looking commander. "Don't we, Jonathan?"

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered. "You look great, Doc!"

"So do you, Rudolph," she replied, trying to sound cheery. She was almost sorry she missed the tail end of the earlier conversation to find out just how Ben got Jonathan to actually go through with this, but she guessed it was something like, "Think of the children."

"You don't think I look silly?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Certainly not. The children are going to adore you!"

"Yeah, everyone keeps saying that." He shrugged. "Maybe it won't be so bad."

"Get over here, Rudolph! We need you!" Ben called from over by the sleigh.

"Right, I'll see you shortly, Doc." Jonathan gave her a wave before he hurried over to the others.

Kristin then scanned the area again and finally noticed Nathan near the top right edge of the bay behind Jonathan's shoulder. He was shifting the pillow belly beneath his Santa suit and scanning the group of helpers with that familiar, guarded expression. Her stomach clenched even tighter at the sight of him. She adjusted the fur trim of her Mrs. Claus dress, tugging gently at the zipper at the back to make sure it was sitting right. She had asked Nathan for help earlier because she wanted an excuse to be near him. Only now, she realized the tension between them had only thickened. He'd been curt, distant, and...cold.

And she had no idea how to fix it.

She reminded herself, almost sternly, that this wasn't about her, wasn't about them, it was about the kids.

Still, she couldn't stop the flutter of nerves in her chest as he scanned the docking bay. She wondered if he'd even notice her. Then he did. His gaze met hers briefly, sharp and unreadable. She caught herself holding her breath.

Come on, Kristin, breathe, she told herself. Focus on the children!

Yet in a move that surprised her, Nathan moved towards her. She shut her eyes for a moment, as if bracing for impact.

"Hello, Mrs. Claus." His voice carried a subtle edge, the one she knew meant he was holding something back.

"Hello, yourself, Santa." She did her best to keep her voice calm, forcing a small smile as she looked him up and down. "I see you survived the wardrobe nightmare."

"Barely," he replied, placing a hand on his fake belly. "This thing should come with instructions for contortionist-level flexibility."

She allowed herself a quiet laugh, hoping it might thaw even a fraction of the wall she felt radiating off him. "Well, at least you're ready for the children. They're going to love Santa Bridger."

His mouth twitched. Almost a smile. The tension in his eyes didn't ease, though. "We'll see," he said, voice low. "Let's just…get this over with."

Kristin's heart sank. "You're still upset with me," she said softly, though not accusingly. Just a statement. She needed to hear it said aloud.

Nathan froze for a fraction of a second, just enough that she could see it. He exhaled slowly, the kind of breath someone used when they didn't want to admit exactly how much they were thinking about something. "No, not upset," he said finally, but the word hung unconvincingly in the bay's metal echo.

She gave a small nod, taking in the truth behind his evasion. "All right. I just…want today to go well. For the kids."

"Yeah," he said, softer this time, and she caught the hint of something. Reluctant agreement, perhaps? Or maybe even care beneath the stiffness.

For a moment, they walked in silence, the crew bustling around them, checking supplies, securing gift boxes, and adjusting props for the hospital visit. Kristin focused on the tasks at hand: straightening her costume, smoothing the fur trim, adjusting her gloves. She forced herself not to look at him too often, though every glance reminded her of the tight coil of tension between them.

Then Nathan glanced at her, brief and careful, as if testing the waters. She returned his look with a small nod, offering just enough warmth to acknowledge him without pressing.

It was awkward. It was tense.

But maybe it was progress?

Kristin drew a deep breath, steeling herself. "Ready, Captain? Time to make some Christmas magic."

He gave a stiff nod, his shoulders rising slightly, a silent acknowledgment. She caught the faintest lift at the corner of his mouth. Progress indeed, she decided. Small, messy, frustrating. But progress nonetheless.

For now, that's enough, she decided.

ℋ̝̝̰͔̔̐̈́ͧ𝓪̲̇ͭ̈́̃𝓹̺͓͕̠𝓹̜͕̬͔̂̋𝔂̗̤̪͇̎̽ͬ ͙̻̥͗ͦℋ͕̔ͭ𝓸̼̤ͨ̃̆ͦ𝓵̜̳̿̚𝓲̬͉ͤ̀𝓭͉̬͓̟̊̅𝓪̪̫ͮ͐̈́𝔂͓̪͇ͮ𝓼̫͔̏͗̿̈

As the docking bay doors opened, Nathan shifted his Santa belly nervously and glanced at Kristin trailing a step behind him as they started on their walk towards the hospital. She looked…festive, so well put together: the red and white fur trim flattering, the gloves and hat perfectly in place. But more than that, she looked calm and composed, which, of course, made him feel like a bumbling fool in comparison.

He took a deep breath. Maybe I should say something to her? Clear the air?

Then he thought better of it, shaking his head. Focus, he told himself. It's just a hospital. Kids, presents, smiles. Everything else can wait. It's all about the kids. Nothing else matters right now.

Of course, that was a lie. Everything mattered, especially her. He noticed the way she carried herself, the small movements, the way she adjusted her gloves and the fur trim of her dress. Every glance she gave him felt weighted with meaning, and he wasn't sure whether to panic or melt.

"Santa, reindeer, elves, formation!" Ben's enthusiastic voice cut through his thoughts. Nathan shot a glance at him and groaned inwardly. Yes, Ben, I get it.

Katie's elf hat bobbed as she nudged a cart of presents toward the first ward. "Captain, try not to scare the children," she called over her shoulder, smirking.

He gave a tight-lipped smile. "Noted," he muttered as he felt Kristin step closer, her presence a quiet anchor as he squared his shoulders. He suddenly felt a bit calmer knowing she was there.

They entered the hospital wing, and immediately a chorus of excited voices erupted. Tiny feet shuffled across the polished floor, eyes wide, faces glowing with anticipation. A few kids squealed at the sight of Santa and Mrs. Claus. Some waved frantically, and Nathan couldn't help the small, genuine grin that tugged at his lips.

Kristin handed him a small bag of candy canes with an effortless, practiced motion, and he caught her gaze for just a second. How did she know I needed something to hold onto?

Before he could ponder both the literal and figurative concepts of the thought, Ben started barking cheerful instructions. "Santa and Mrs. Claus go first! Rudolph follows! Elves scatter and round up the kids!"

Lucas, Katie, Tim, and Miguel darted ahead, trying to herd the kids toward the gift tables.

Nathan awkwardly stepped forward, raising one gloved hand in a hesitant wave. "H-hello, everyone!" His voice sounded louder and more authoritative in his own head than it did in reality. He noticed a few children staring with wide, unblinking eyes. He froze for a moment. Oh, God, what if I am scaring them? He was suddenly unsure how to proceed.

Kristin leaned close, as if sensing his anxiety. "Just smile and hand out the candy, Captain." Her voice was soft but firm. "They don't need a perfect Santa. They just need you."

Her nearness made his heart flip. He swallowed and nodded, trying to push aside the awkwardness between them. Just for the kids, he reminded himself. Just for the kids.

One little boy tugged on his sleeve. "Santa, do you have a present for me?"

Nathan bent down carefully, nearly toppling forward with the extra padding, and handed over the gift. "Of course I do, kiddo." The boy's eyes lit up, and for a moment, Nathan forgot himself entirely, lost in the pure joy radiating from him and the other children.

Kristin smiled beside him, clearly noticing his brief lapse into genuine delight. She's enjoying seeing me like this. She knows I'm...well, human. That realization made him feel both apprehensive and oddly comforted.

Ben nudged him with a gentle shove. "See? It's easy. Just keep moving."

Nathan straightened, taking a deep breath, and tried to focus on the next child. But even as he did, he couldn't ignore the way Kristin's hand brushed his as she passed him a present. A small, deliberate touch. Or the way she gave him a quick, encouraging smile from across the room.

He clenched his jaw, resisting the urge to smile too broadly, to reach for her hand, to say something he knew was long overdue. Except he knew he shouldn't. Not yet. Not now. Focus. The children come first.

So he kept moving, Santa's boots heavy, his belly pillow awkward, but his heart felt...slightly lighter.

The tension between them hadn't gone away, not by a long shot. But as he watched the children laugh, his crew elves and reindeer, and Kristin hand out gifts with effortless grace, he realized then that he was wrong. Today was the day to make a new start, to make things right with her.

Or at least try.

Later, he decided. Before the day is through.

ℋ̝̝̰͔̔̐̈́ͧ𝓪̲̇ͭ̈́̃𝓹̺͓͕̠𝓹̜͕̬͔̂̋𝔂̗̤̪͇̎̽ͬ ͙̻̥͗ͦℋ͕̔ͭ𝓸̼̤ͨ̃̆ͦ𝓵̜̳̿̚𝓲̬͉ͤ̀𝓭͉̬͓̟̊̅𝓪̪̫ͮ͐̈́𝔂͓̪͇ͮ𝓼̫͔̏͗̿̈

The more gifts they handed out, the more the room turned into a whirl of motion, sound, and glitter. Children darted between the papier-mâché dolphin reindeer. Commander Ford's red nose kept blinking every time a toddler smacked it, and Miguel's elf hat had already disappeared into the hands of a determined five-year-old.

Ben was in full morale-officer mode, practically glowing as he directed elves, children, nurses, and anyone else who would listen. "Careful with that dorsal fin! It's decorative, not aerodynamic!" he shouted as Lucas tried to keep one of the dolphin reindeer from toppling over after a toddler tried riding it.

Katie swooped in behind them like a tiny festive general, redirecting chaos with sharp gestures and jingling boots. "Tim, you're on gift distribution! Miguel, help Jonathan with the photo line. And, Jonathan, stop looking like someone shot Rudolph!"

Commander Ford groaned. "I regret everything about today."

The kids didn't notice his less-than-amused attitude, however. They loved him...and his blinking nose.

Nathan stood in the middle of it all, handing out candy canes, smiling when he remembered to, adjusting his fake belly when it slipped sideways. But somehow, even with the noise and motion, he was really only aware of one thing. Well, one person, to be exact.

Kristin.

She moved effortlessly through the crowd, kneeling when a child needed attention, laughing softly when another tried to tug her hat down over her eyes. She was composed, but only he could see the faint tension in her shoulders, the way she kept glancing toward him, checking on him without looking like she was.

It made something twist inside him.

"Santa!" a girl squealed, grabbing his gloved hand. "Mrs. Claus said you'd give me a hug!"

He blinked. "She did?"

Kristin raised an eyebrow at him across the room. "Go on," she mouthed.

He knelt, careful to ensure he didn't fall over, and hugged the girl, who immediately burst into delighted giggles. When he straightened again, his back protested. The Santa suit was warm, the fake beard itchy, and he was fairly certain the belly padding was slowly migrating under one arm.

Kristin drifted to his side, close but not too close. "There, you survived your first Santa hug," she murmured, tone light.

He kept his eyes forward, handing a candy cane to a boy in a wheelchair. "Just barely." He adjusted his belly again. "I swear this thing'll be the death of me."

She didn't laugh, not at first. She just watched him, expression softening, and he felt the weight of everything neither of them had said pressing on the space between them.

He tried to step away, deciding she didn't appreciate his constant complaining. He was sure there were a great many things he'd done lately she didn't appreciate.

Then she touched his arm. Brief, gentle, steady. "Thank you," she said quietly. "For doing this."

He swallowed hard beneath the beard. "It's for the kids."

Her gaze didn't waver. "I know, but… Thank you anyway."

Before he could say anything more, a high-pitched crash made both of them jump. One of the papier-mâché dolphin reindeer had finally given up the fight and toppled onto Miguel.

Lucas threw his hands up. "I told you we needed more glue!"

Ben rushed over, horrified. "My dolphin reindeer!"

Ford's blinking nose lit up in alarm. "Is everyone all right?"

Kristin stifled a laugh, but Nathan didn't bother trying. And just for a moment—a small, fleeting one—the tension between them cracked just enough for something real to shine through.

And then, as quickly as it came, it was gone. The job wasn't over, and the distance between them was still very much there.

Kristin stepped back, getting back into professional mode. "Well," she said, "we'd better help Ben before he has a holiday meltdown."

Nathan nodded, adjusting his hat. "Right behind you."

But as he watched her move away, he couldn't shake the thought that tugged at him harder than any child had all morning. I have to fix this. If only I knew how…

ℋ̝̝̰͔̔̐̈́ͧ𝓪̲̇ͭ̈́̃𝓹̺͓͕̠𝓹̜͕̬͔̂̋𝔂̗̤̪͇̎̽ͬ ͙̻̥͗ͦℋ͕̔ͭ𝓸̼̤ͨ̃̆ͦ𝓵̜̳̿̚𝓲̬͉ͤ̀𝓭͉̬͓̟̊̅𝓪̪̫ͮ͐̈́𝔂͓̪͇ͮ𝓼̫͔̏͗̿̈

Kristin hadn't expected her face to hurt so much from smiling.

As the elevator doors slid shut, muting the distant chatter of the ward and the echoes of papier-mâché dolphin antlers clacking somewhere behind them, she released a soft breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. The hospital's fluorescent lighting faded into the mellow glow of the lobby, and she felt the collective exhale of the group around her: Nathan, Katie, Ben, Lucas, Tim, Miguel, and Jonathan were all wearing some variation of dazed amusement and exhaustion.

Her coat still smelled faintly of glitter glue and sugar cookies. She didn't want to think about how.

Nathan stepped up beside her, brushing a bit of paper snowflake from his sleeve. "Well," he murmured, voice low enough that only she could hear, "I think we've revolutionized holiday morale."

Kristin shot him a sidelong glance. The corners of his eyes were still crinkled from laughing. Really laughing, the kind that had pulled something warm and unguarded out of her earlier, something she couldn't quite tuck back away. "It was chaos," she replied. "Adorable chaos. Mildly hazardous chaos."

"Ben's fault," Katie said from ahead of them, nudging him with an elbow.

"Hey!" Ben protested. "You try maintaining structural integrity on papier-mâché dolphins while Tim is handing out candy canes like there's no tomorrow."

Tim lifted his hands. "Sugar kept the kids occupied. I have no regrets."

Lucas snorted. "Commander Ford as Rudolph was the best part, though."

Miguel made a solemn nod. "He will never live that down."

Kristin smiled again, a smaller one, this time, mostly to herself. There was something intoxicatingly easy about all of them together like this, a pocket of camaraderie she hadn't felt in a long time. "Where is Jonathan?"

"He ran into the restroom as soon as we got into the lobby. He was muttering something about how he couldn't spend another minute in that reindeer costume," Katie said with a light laugh.

Ben pulled out a Polaroid picture from his pocket. "At least we have the photo evidence."

"Good," called Jonathan from behind them, now wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top. "Because you are never getting me into a costume like that again."

"What about next year?" Ben asked as they headed out the hospital doors. "You know, they've already asked us to come back. I need you, Rudolph! The kids need you!"

"Over my Holly Jolly backside!" Jonathan quipped.

They all had a good laugh at that before they stepped through the doors and into the Hawaiian dusk outside that washed the walkway in peach-gold light. Palm fronds stirred overhead, leaving shifting patterns on the pavement as the group naturally split. The younger members hurried on ahead to change out of their costumes, Ben and Jonathan continuing their Rudolph debate the entire way.

That left her and Nathan lagging behind. They fell into step together, a quiet space settling between them as the others peeled away. The evening air was warm but gentle, carrying the faint scent of the ocean.

Quiet, however, didn't mean easy.

Nathan walked beside her, Santa coat slung over one arm, the other hand shoved into his pocket like he wasn't sure what to do with it. His steps were steady but his shoulders still held a faint stiffness. The same way he often looked when dealing with delicate missions. She'd noticed it more times than she could count.

She couldn't help but wonder if he thought of her that way. As she glanced at him, the answer flickered across his face. Just talk to me, she pleaded silently. Please.

He met her gaze, offered an awkward half-smile.

Yes, there you go, she thought. Say something, Nathan. Anything!

As if on cue, he cleared his throat. Her heart nearly leapt for joy when he opened his mouth...and immediately sank again when he closed it.

Damn. She adjusted the fur trim of her sleeve, more to give her fingers something to do than because it needed fixing. I'll be as old as the real Mrs. Claus if I keep waiting on him. I'm going to have to make the first move. Again. She cast another glance in his direction. "You handled the kids well," she said lightly. "They adored you."

He huffed a small laugh. "I think they mostly adored the candy canes. And Rudolph." Then after a beat, he added, "And probably Mrs. Claus more than Santa."

The warmth in his voice tugged at her heart, but beneath it, hesitation lingered—weeks old, maybe months, if she was honest.

She found herself watching him out of the corner of her eye. The way he glanced down at the pavement. The way he didn't quite look at her. "You…did well," she said again because she wanted him to know how much she meant it.

He nodded but didn't answer right away. "It was good for the crew," he finally said. "For all of us." There was another long pause. "For you, too, I hope."

Something caught in her throat at the softness of that, an unspoken question folded inside the words. "Yes," she said, almost whispering. "It was."

They stopped at the curb as the crosswalk signal flashed red. The others were already half a block ahead, voices fading into the warm Honolulu evening.

Kristin folded her arms lightly, more out of habit than chill. She could feel him watching her now, that careful, guarded study he used only when he wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask what he wanted to ask.

"You look…" Nathan began, then faltered and cleared his throat. "Festive."

She almost laughed. "Festive?"

"I meant it as a compliment."

"I know."

Silence closed around them again. Not cold but aching around the edges.

The walk signal finally blinked on, and they stepped off the curb together, falling back into that matched pace they used to slip into so effortlessly when conversations didn't feel like tightropes.

They walked in silence for a few steps, the Pearl Hotel coming into view ahead — its windows glowing warm against the dusk. The UEO had booked the entire senior staff there while repairs were underway, a practical decision that somehow made everything feel strangely…in-between. Not quite home. Not quite temporary. Something suspended.

Kristin smoothed a hand over her coat, suddenly aware of the glitter still clinging to the sleeve. "It'll be nice," she said lightly, "to change into something that isn't shedding faux snow...and fur."

Nathan huffed a tired laugh. "Speak for yourself. I think this beard is permanently fused to my face."

She glanced at him, a smile pulling at her lips. "I think it suits you."

His brow furrowed. "You think? Carol never liked it when I wasn't clean-shaven."

"Well, I'm not Carol." She gave the fake beard a playful tug before she realized what she'd just done and immediately pulled away. "I...I mean, perhaps not the Santa beard, but I think a real one might...suit you. Make you look rugged. Not that you need..." She trailed off, mortified, hands wringing together.

Nathan didn't tease her or let her flounder. He simply placed a hand over hers, stilling it.

She stared at him for a moment. He looked exhausted, but his eyes were warm, kind...human. The version of him she missed the most. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words stuck in her throat.

"I know what you meant," he said softly. "It's okay, really."

She nodded, and after a moment he let her hand go. They resumed walking.

"It'll be good," he finally said, nodding towards the hotel ahead. "Everyone being in one place. Makes this feel a little less like…limbo."

Kristin felt the word settle in her chest. Limbo. Yes. That was exactly what this was: the repairs, the hotel, the two of them walking side by side but not quite together. "I know exactly what you mean."

Their hands brushed again. This time light, accidental, but enough to make her breath catch.

"You don't have to—" Nathan began suddenly.

She blinked. "I don't have to what?"

He exhaled slowly. "Pretend everything's fine. With…us."

Her heart jolted, but she kept her face composed. "I'm not pretending."

"No," he said gently. "You're just being gracious. Which you always are. Even when I probably don't deserve it."

They finally reached the hotel steps. He stopped, and she turned to face him. For a moment, neither of them moved.

"Nathan, it's been a long day for both of us, and I know you're tired," she finally said.

He shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I thought you wanted..."

Her breath caught. She stepped closer, but only slightly. "More than anything, but I want you to want it, too. And we're both exhausted."

"I never said I didn't."

"I know." She hesitated, choosing her words with care. "Just not tonight. Let's have a little space, just for now."

He nodded once. Not hurt, not angry. Just accepting in a way that twisted something inside her. "Right," he said softly. "Space."

Yet the look he gave her—gentle, thoughtful, unresolved—said clearly that it wasn't the end of the conversation. Only the beginning. Kristin forced a smile, small but real. "Goodnight, Captain."

His eyes warmed, almost imperceptibly. "Goodnight, Kristin."

She slipped inside the hotel lobby first, letting the soft music and warm lights close around her…and tried very hard not to look back.

ℋ̝̝̰͔̔̐̈́ͧ𝓪̲̇ͭ̈́̃𝓹̺͓͕̠𝓹̜͕̬͔̂̋𝔂̗̤̪͇̎̽ͬ ͙̻̥͗ͦℋ͕̔ͭ𝓸̼̤ͨ̃̆ͦ𝓵̜̳̿̚𝓲̬͉ͤ̀𝓭͉̬͓̟̊̅𝓪̪̫ͮ͐̈́𝔂͓̪͇ͮ𝓼̫͔̏͗̿̈

Unfortunately, Nathan found that it was far too easy to give Kristin her space.

He was certain she'd meant for them to talk the very next day. He certainly had. He'd planned to take her out to dinner, then a long, quiet walk on the beach where they could finally breathe, finally speak honestly.

Admiral Noyce, however, had other ideas.

Dry dock meant shore leave for the crew, but not for her captain. Nathan was expected at the base: meetings with the brass, progress reviews on the repairs, and obligatory mingling with donors who might throw money at the UEO if properly flattered. Necessary, yes. Beneficial, eventually. Except all he could think was that Kristin was once again waiting on the sidelines because of his obligations.

He tried, more than once, to call her just to explain, to tell her he wasn't avoiding her, that he wanted to see her. Each time, someone interrupted him. A briefing. A question. A security update. A last-minute video call. By the time he made it back to the hotel each night, it was late. Too late.

He wrote her a note anyway. Slipped it under her door.

And every night since, he looked for one under his.

Nothing.

Four days wasn't much, and yet it felt like a small eternity. Even strained and uncertain, seeing her always grounded him. Without her, he felt lost, like a boat cut loose from anchor.

As he pushed through the rotating hotel doors well past midnight, he scanned the lobby, half-hoping she'd appear out of thin air. That she'd somehow feel him missing her and be waiting there...

Only she wasn't. Instead, a familiar voice called out:

"Captain, it's about time you make an appearance." Ben approached, hands in his pockets, looking entirely too awake for the hour. "Heard the admiral's been working you to the bone."

Nathan exhaled a laugh. "Something like that. You weren't waiting up for me, were you?"

Ben shook his head. "Not exactly. The guys and I just got back from eating, bowling, a night on the town. And don't worry, we're making sure to include Lucas."

Nathan raised a brow.

Ben lifted both hands quickly. "Nothing too adult! The doc is on us like a hawk. You can ask Katie."

Nathan softened. "I wouldn't expect anything less." He glanced around again without meaning to.

"Sorry, she's not here," Ben said, reading him effortlessly. "She's been turning in early."

"Right," Nathan murmured. He checked his watch. "Well, it is almost 0100. Almost past everyone's bedtime."

"Not mine," Ben said proudly. "Which is why she asked me to give you a message." He winced. "A few days ago, actually. I, uh, forgot."

"Ben…" Nathan warned.

"I wasn't doing anything bad!" Ben said quickly. "I've been setting up for the Christmas party. Ask Katie. I had glitter in my hair for two days."

Nathan sighed but with affection. "All right. What message?"

"That she understands. That you don't have to worry. And you two can talk at the party." Ben gave him a playful jab. "About time, huh?"

Nathan glared. "Lieutenant, whatever you say can be used as future punishment. You're aware of that, yes?"

Ben swallowed. "Copy that. Sorry. It's just the whole senior staff… We just want you two happy."

Nathan gave a genuine nod. "Thank you. Really." He motioned to his watch. "But it's late. And I'm done. I just want to go upstairs and—"

"One more thing." Ben stepped in front of him. "You're ready, right?"

"For?"

"For the party. The brass isn't gonna chain you to the base, are they?"

"I'll be there," Nathan said confidently, and then froze. "Wait. Tomorrow is the twenty-third?"

Ben nodded brightly. "Mmm-hmm. Secret Santa tomorrow night."

Damn. He'd completely forgotten. Ben had passed around names after the Teslov mess; Nathan had drawn Kristin. He'd meant to get something thoughtful, meaningful. Instead, here he was, empty-handed.

"Cap?" Ben waved a hand. "You good? You looked like you just remembered something."

"Fine," Nathan said too quickly. "Just…imagining her face when she opens it." Ben grinned. "The doc'll love whatever you got her. Feels right, you getting her."

"I didn't say—"

"Cap, it's senior staff only. I got Katie. You can do the math."

Nathan sighed. "Fine. But it stays between us."

"Scout's honor." Ben rocked back on his heels. "Sure is too bad about her daughter, though."

Nathan stopped. "What?"

"You forgot?" Ben frowned. "Her daughter can't get away for the holidays. I know she tried not to show it, but she was…you know…pretty upset."

"Oh. Right. Yes. She mentioned it."

Of course, she hadn't. Or he hadn't heard it. He couldn't tell which stung more.

"I invited her to come with Katie and me," Ben continued, "but she didn't answer. Maybe she's got plans?"

Nathan shook his head. "I don't know. We haven't exactly discussed holiday arrangements."

Ben nodded sympathetically. "Well, I'm sure she'll be all right."

Nathan only half-heard him. Because in that quiet, sharp, and immediate moment, he knew. He knew exactly what he wanted to give her.

Not an object. Not something she'd smile at politely. Something she actually wanted. Something she missed. Something she thought she couldn't have. He felt the idea settle with certainty, but he kept his expression perfectly neutral. "That's good to know, Ben," he said calmly as they reached the elevators. "Really. Thank you."

"Anytime, Cap." Nathan waited until the elevator doors slid shut before letting out the breath he'd been holding.

If he could make it happen—and it was a big if—it would be the best gift he'd ever given anyone. He wouldn't tell Ben.

Wouldn't tell anyone.

It had to work. It had to.

For Kristin.

For once in his life, he hoped Cynthia was free.

And willing to take his call.

ℋ̝̝̰͔̔̐̈́ͧ𝓪̲̇ͭ̈́̃𝓹̺͓͕̠𝓹̜͕̬͔̂̋𝔂̗̤̪͇̎̽ͬ ͙̻̥͗ͦℋ͕̔ͭ𝓸̼̤ͨ̃̆ͦ𝓵̜̳̿̚𝓲̬͉ͤ̀𝓭͉̬͓̟̊̅𝓪̪̫ͮ͐̈́𝔂͓̪͇ͮ𝓼̫͔̏͗̿̈

Nathan arrived early. He wasn't entirely sure why. Habit, maybe? He told himself it was to help set up, to make sure the place looked halfway decent, but the truth was simpler. The last few days had felt like trying to breathe underwater, and he needed a moment to steady himself before the noise began.

The hotel's private party room had been transformed with strings of soft white lights draped between support beams, a small artificial tree in the corner, a long table in the back stacked with brightly wrapped gifts. Someone had found a playlist of old holiday classics, and the room hummed with low, cheerful music.

Everything felt warm, familiar. Almost like seaQuest.

Nathan adjusted his tie and smoothed the front of his jacket, a small ritual to remind himself he belonged here, even if only for a little while. He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck, trying to chase away the tiredness that had settled there. He knew the others would be here soon. There'd be laughter, teasing, a hundred tiny moments he'd miss later when the ship felt too big or too quiet. It was good; they were good, but he still felt like he was standing in a doorway between two different versions of his life. One he understood, and one he was still figuring out.

He'd just started straightening a few decorations, which had already been knocked slightly askew, when the door opened.

And he completely forgot what he'd been doing because Kristin stepped inside.

She wore red satin: long, elegant, the kind of gown that didn't announce itself but immediately owned the space. Ruffles at her side, a scattering of sequins catching the lights, soft waves brushing her shoulders, one side pulled back with a jeweled comb. Her earrings swayed gently when she moved, thin, delicate, sparkling. She looked…effortless. Poised. Warm in a way that hit him somewhere unguarded.

He exhaled, slow, controlled. It didn't help.

She noticed him almost immediately, and her expression softened, an instinctive, private smile he didn't think she realized she was wearing. For half a heartbeat, the room felt better just because she was in it.

Before he could say anything, the doors opened again behind her. Chief Crocker barreled in, muttering, "If I have to sit through one more safety seminar about proper ladder-climbing protocol, I'm transferring to hydroponics. And they don't even have ladders."

"Oh good," Ortiz called from behind him as he entered, "Crocker's back. Now the party can officially begin."

Chief Crocker stopped short when he saw Kristin, gave her an admiring whistle, then looked at Nathan. He leaned in close and whispered, "Sir, you didn't tell me the dress code was 'knock the wind out of the captain.'"

Nathan turned to him slowly and fixed him with a look; Crocker grinned wider.

"Sorry I missed the hospital day," Crocker announced louder, addressing everyone streaming in. "Wish I could've been there. What'd I miss?"

That unleashed them. Lucas launched into the story of Nathan nearly getting strangled by an IV pole ("I did not!"), Ortiz miming exaggerated versions of Kristin yelling at a nurse ("I did not do that either!"), and Katie chiming in with her own embellished version of Ben trying to eat hospital gelatin that wasn't technically edible.

The room filled with laughter. Kristin laughed too, one hand resting lightly on her hip, head tilted just enough to send her curls shifting over her shoulder.

Nathan caught himself staring again. He thought he looked away before anyone else noticed. Katie, however, elbowed him as she passed. She looked lovely, too, in a dark green satin dress with her hair up in a neat, elegant bun, she grinned knowingly. "I knew she'd look amazing."

He shook his head, refusing the bait. "It's just a dress. Dresses…exist."

Katie grinned. "It's got nothing to do with her dress." She leaned in slightly, eyes twinkling. "It's written all over your face."

He glared at her, and she smirked wider. It was already turning into one of those nights.

The music shifted a bit as Lucas clapped his hands together with all the authority of someone half Nathan's age and twice as enthusiastic.

"Okay! Before people start sneaking cookies, or Chief Crocker drinks all the spiced punch, let's do the Secret Santa gift exchange!"

Crocker, already holding a cup, froze guiltily.

Tim pointed at him. "Too late."

Nathan shook his head, amused despite himself. "All right, gather up before this devolves into something we have to put in the ship's logs."

The crew drifted toward the table in a cluster of color and laughter: Miguel in a crisp shirt and tie, Jonathan smoothing his jacket, trying to be inconspicuous, Ben adjusting his collar, Lucas bouncing on the balls of his feet, and Crocker holding his drink with mock seriousness.

Lucas scanned the table of tags. "All right, let's start with Ben. Who did you get?"

Ben's ears instantly turned scarlet as he glanced towards his ex-wife. "I got Katie." He picked up a small square gold box tied up with green ribbon and a red bow and handed it to her. "For you," he said, trying to keep his expression casual.

Katie's eyes lit up before she even opened it. She lifted the lid to reveal a beautifully framed maritime navigation chart, the kind sailors used to find their way through tricky waters. A small gold plate at the bottom was engraved with the words: "You'll always know how to find your way home." Her fingers traced the map gently, and she looked up at Ben, a soft smile spreading across her face.

He cleared his throat. "I… I thought you'd like it."

"I… I'll always remember this," she whispered, glancing down at the chart again. "Thank you, Ben."

Nathan watched her face soften—really soften—as she hugged Ben with surprising force. Ben made a noise somewhere between a squeak and a gasp. He noticed how the simple gift seemed to light her up from the inside out. He felt a small warmth settle in his chest, one of those rare moments where the chaos of the past days faded into something steady and good.

Lucas lifted his own tag and thrust an envelope with a tiny green bow towards Nathan. "Captain, your turn."

Nathan opened it. Inside was a gift certificate that read: Ember Lantern. Dinner for two. Chef's Tasting Experience. Pearl Harbor. There was also a small, handwritten note at the bottom: A night for you and someone special.

Miguel glanced over his shoulder. "Ooo," he crowed. "For two, Captain? How…suggestive."

Kristin smiled faintly, brushing a curl from her face but didn't offer comment.

Lucas lifted his hands. "Hey, it's a nice place. And you deserve a night out...with whoever you'd like to bring."

Crocker elbowed Nathan. "Maybe take the doctor. Since she's, you know…here. And wearing that."

Kristin choked on a laugh, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of her gown. "Very subtle, Chief," she said, her voice light, though her smile betrayed her amusement.

Nathan shot Crocker a glare, but the crew erupted anyway. Taking a breath, Kristin turned her attention to the table. "All right," she said, still smiling. "Time to see what mischief Jonathan's gotten himself into." She picked up his gift and thrust it towards him.

He opened the box and froze.

Inside was a framed photo from the hospital, with a tiny Rudolph ornament dangling off one corner. Jonathan's brow lifted.

"Oh, wow. This is…perfect. Really."

Kristin smiled, warm and genuine. "I thought you'd like something to remember the day, and Rudolph, just in case you ever need a reminder of your starring role."

Jonathan held up the little Rudolph ornament.

"If you turn it over," Kristin said, "there's a little switch on the bottom."

Jonathan did so, and the nose lit up.

Crocker howled with laughter. "That's some sweet justice!"

Miguel doubled over. "Display it on the bridge, Commander!"

Jonathan held it at arm's length like it might bite him. "This slander will not stand."

Kristin's laughter—soft, melodic—slipped under Nathan's ribs again. "I didn't want you to forget, since you insist it's your last time in a reindeer costume."

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Ben piped up, resulting in another round of laughter that rippled through the room.

Nathan watched Kristin for a moment, catching the small curve of her smile as she took it in, and felt a quiet warmth settle in his chest. Then she turned toward the table, ready to continue the gift exchange.

Gift by gift, the pile disappeared, each one sparking teasing, surprise, or gentle admiration from the others. Crocker received a fishing-themed calendar from Miguel, Lucas got a pair of high-end phones loaded with a playlist of all his favorite songs from Katie, Ben opened a sleek organizer from Jonathan, and Chief Crocker handed Tim a St. Elmo medal.

Finally, however, the table was empty. Only a few scraps of ribbon remained, but there was one person who hadn't yet received a gift.

Kristin paused. "I can't help but notice the table is empty."

Nathan stepped forward. "Sorry, I promise I got you a present. I just didn't have time to wrap it, but I didn't think you'd mind."

She barely had time to inhale before the ballroom doors opened, and Cynthia stood in the doorway.

Kristin didn't move at first. She just blinked, as if the image might vanish if she acknowledged it too quickly.

Then her daughter's voice said, "Mom?"

The sound broke her. Kristin crossed the room in three steps, pulling Cynthia into her arms with a soft, helpless cry. The crew fell instantly silent, not out of discomfort, but out of respect, of tenderness for something private happening in front of them.

Nathan stayed where he was, letting the reunion unfold. Kristin touched her daughter's face, her hair, held her again, whispered things too quiet to be heard by anyone else.

After a long moment, she turned—eyes bright, cheeks wet—and stepped into Nathan's arms without hesitation.

Not a brief, polite hug. A full one. Grateful. Trembling at the edges.

"Thank you," she whispered against his shoulder. "Nathan…thank you."

He held her just firmly enough, feeling the familiar pull to linger, to stay in that quiet bubble with her a little longer. But he knew he couldn't. This night wasn't about him. It was about her and her daughter. "Go. Be with her. We'll talk later," he murmured, letting the warmth of his hands linger for a heartbeat longer before releasing her.

She nodded, letting her fingers brush lightly across Nathan's cheek in a quiet gesture of gratitude before turning back to Cynthia, the two of them falling into conversation as if no one else existed.

Nathan stepped back, exhaling slowly.

Around him, the crew watched the two of them with softened expressions: Katie dabbing her eyes discreetly, Ben smiling in that wide, earnest way he did, Lucas standing a little prouder than usual, Crocker muttering, "I wish I'd seen that at the hospital," and Miguel just shaking his head, smiling.

Nathan let the warmth of it settle into him.

This, he thought, is what tonight was for. Later, when the world quieted, he'd make sure it was just for her and him.

ℋ̝̝̰͔̔̐̈́ͧ𝓪̲̇ͭ̈́̃𝓹̺͓͕̠𝓹̜͕̬͔̂̋𝔂̗̤̪͇̎̽ͬ ͙̻̥͗ͦℋ͕̔ͭ𝓸̼̤ͨ̃̆ͦ𝓵̜̳̿̚𝓲̬͉ͤ̀𝓭͉̬͓̟̊̅𝓪̪̫ͮ͐̈́𝔂͓̪͇ͮ𝓼̫͔̏͗̿̈

Hours later, the party finally quieted. The laughter, the teasing, the clatter of chairs...everything faded as the crew said their goodbyes, heading off for the holidays. The hotel's party room now smelled faintly of pine, warm wax from the candles, and lingering perfume. Kristin sat back in her chair, smoothing the skirt of her dress, letting the moment settle around her.

Cynthia's launch had left just ten minutes prior, carrying her daughter back to the obligations that kept her away. The room felt suddenly emptier, yet calmer. Only Nathan remained, standing near the doorway, hands loosely in his pockets, watching her.

Kristin gave a small, nervous smile. "Quiet now," she said softly.

He stepped closer, the soft click of his shoes on the floor sounding too loud in the stillness. "Yeah," he said. "Quiet." His voice held something raw, unguarded.

"I still don't know how to thank you." Kristin brushed some stray glitter off her arm. "It never even dawned on me to have her come for a few hours."

Nathan shrugged. "There's no need. The look on your face was thanks enough." There was a long beat before he added, "Uh, I wanted to say something before you went to bed, before I let the night end without clearing the air."

Her heart thumped in her chest. She had been waiting, bracing herself, unsure of what he would say. She stood. "Nathan…" she began, but he shook his head gently.

"No, please," he interrupted. "I need to be honest. About something I've been carrying for weeks. Since Teslov. Since everything..." He swallowed, took a breath. "You were right. I was jealous, Kris. Of Malcolm. I...I just couldn't admit it. I just know I didn't like it, the way he was around you, the way he made you laugh, the conversations you had when he was on the boat. I know I had no right to feel that way, but I did. And I...I want, need, you to know."

Her chest loosened slightly. Relief mingled with something warmer, something she hadn't dared to name yet.

"I also need you to know that I don't expect you to…" He nervously pulled at his tie. "I mean, you don't have to…" He sighed in frustration. "There's no obligation for you to reciprocate. I...I know I was acting like a jackass, and—"

She took a step closer, reaching for his hand, brushing her fingers over his. "Nathan, I need you to know nothing happened between Malcolm and me. I… We shared a few kisses, yes, but it was just curiosity, nothing romantic. I was interested in his mind, his science, but…not him, not as a partner. You..." She hesitated, searching his eyes. "You're the one I care about."

He blinked, relief flickering across his face, but still a shadow of doubt lingered. "You're sure? Even after how I acted?"

Kristin nodded, her fingers tightening around his. "Even then. Maybe even more so. I've never stopped…noticing you, needing you. I was just hoping you'd finally wake up and see it yourself. Malcolm? He's just a friend. Nothing more. You were the one I wanted, from the moment I laid eyes on you, even when I didn't let myself admit it."

Nathan exhaled slowly, the tension in his shoulders easing. "I'm sorry for what I put you through. For making you think I wasn't interested. There's really no excuse for what I did. I was...just scared."

"I'm scared, too," she admitted. "But I think the problem was we stopped talking, stopped being honest with one another."

He nodded. "You're right. I should've trusted you enough to tell you what I was feeling." He gave her hand a squeeze. "So does this mean we're okay?"

"More than okay," she replied, feeling tears prick her eyes as she stepped into his embrace. She pressed her cheek against his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of him, and allowed herself a long, slow exhale she hadn't realized she was holding. "I've missed you so much. It's been too long," she murmured.

"Yes," he agreed softly. "Too long. But we're here now. And I'm not letting you go."

She pressed closer, letting the words sink in. Too long. But here. Finally.

They stayed that way for a long moment, the quiet of the empty room wrapping around them, the warmth between them replacing all the uncertainty. Kristin tilted her head up, smiling through the lingering tears. "So you might have heard I've nowhere to go for the holidays?"

Nathan's hands framed her face, thumbs brushing against her cheeks. "Yes, you do. You'll stay right here with me. That is, if you'll have me," he said gently. "And we'll start fresh, with lots of long talks. We'll figure it out, together. No distractions. Just…us, and we have that gift certificate from Lucas to put to use, too."

Her laugh was soft, a little choked, but filled with joy. "Just us," she agreed.

And for the first time in weeks, maybe months, the weight of doubt and distance lifted. They had each other, and that was enough to make everything else fade into the background. The holidays, the repairs, the world outside, none of it mattered.

Right here, in this quiet moment, they were finally home.