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Nicole crossed her arms over her chest and vigorously shook her head.
“You have to, Haughtshot. You lost, fair and square,” Wynonna said, turning off the truck and glaring at her best friend.
“I’m not doing. I can’t do it. Waverly would kill me,” Nicole shot back, refusing to look at Wynonna.
“It’s a good thing Waverly doesn’t get back into town for another two days, then, isn’t it? We are so far away from Purgatory she’ll never find out. It’s not my fault you suck at pool and can’t hold your liquor. You lost, Haught! You have to do this!” Wynonna argued, starting to shiver slightly from the cold seeping into the rapidly cooling truck cab.
Nicole grabbed Wynonna’s jacket from the back seat and thrust it at her friend, “You’re going to freeze to death.”
Wynonna batted the jacket away and jabbed her finger at Nicole, “I will tell everyone that you go back on bets AND that you don’t know a single Brandi Carlile song by heart!”
Nicole gasped, her hand clutching her chest, “How dare you! It’s not my fault her music just isn’t my style! You are…you are…ugh!”
The pair glared at each other, the darkness of the December night cut by bright pink neon lights. Their angry huffs barely audible over the trashy, pumping music blasting from the club.
Nicole glanced away from Wynonna to the group of people lingering outside the entrance. She was going to have to do this, wasn’t she? There was no way Wynonna would ever let her live it down if she backed out now. She reached behind her and grabbed the car whiskey. She unscrewed the cap and started to jug.
“Woah, woah, easy there, Red, you’re an Earp by marriage not by liver,” Wynonna said, grabbing the bottle from Nicole and taking a drink herself.
Nicole shook her head and threw the door of the truck open, “We doing this or what?”
“Oh hell yeah! That’s my Haughtpants!” Wynonna exclaimed, taking a quick drink herself before jumping out of the truck.
You got this, Haught. Just get up there and do the thing She thought, hyping herself up.
“Watching or Competing?” The security guard asked, his pen braced in his hand.
“Competing. And so is she,” Nicole said, jamming a thumb back in Wynonna’s direction.
“What? No! That wasn’t the deal. I’m a professional. I can’t compete at amateur night!” Wynonna argued, “Don’t you dare put me on that list. I’m a watcher.”
Nicole snorted,, “Yeah you are. Wynonna Interruptus should be your stage name.”
The guard sighed and looked up from his clipboard, “So only one of you is competing?”
“Yes!”
“No.”
“Look, ladies, you’ve got about five seconds to get your story straight or you can get right back in your truck and go somewhere else.”
Nicole perked up at the possibility. Maybe there was a way she could get out of this still. She turned in the direction of the truck.
Wynonna grabbed her arm and hissed at her, “If we leave, you’re doing this at Pussy Willows.”
Nicole spun right back around and held up a finger to the security guard, “Just one. Me. It’s me.”
Wynonna patted her arm.
The security guard rolled his eyes, “Name?”
“Carrot Top,” Wynonna answered immediately. “No! Cinnamon Stick!”
Nicole pushed her out of the way and leaned in and whispered to the security guard. He nodded and waved them into the club.
“What did you say?” Wynonna asked, shouting to be heard over the music.
“You’ll have to wait and see!” Nicole shot back, glancing around the club, feeling pleasantly and thoroughly tipsy. She could do this.
She could win this.
Maybe she was more than tipsy.
Wynonna led her away from the main part of the club, following a sign that said Competitors This Way.
People of all shapes and sizes and genders gathered backstage in various levels of costume.
“You got your stuff?” Wynonna asked, dragging a awestruck Nicole away from the densest part of the group to a relatively quiet and empty corner.
“Right here,” Nicole said, holding up a grocery bag. She turned around and fished out a few of the mini bottles she’d brought with her. She’d just finished the second when Wynonna grabbed the third from her hand.
“I think you’re good on the liquid courage, Red,” Wynonna said before drinking the mini herself.
*********
“Welcome to Southern XXXposure’s Annual Christmas Amateur Competition! We have some lovely talent for you all tonight, so get your money ready and let’s get started!” The MC called over the microphone. The crowd cheered in response.
“You’re up first,” The stage director announced, pointing at Nicole.
“Me?” Nicole asked, pointing at herself. Her vision swam, her heart pounded in her ears. Why had she agreed to this? She couldn’t do this! Why did she have to go first?
“Drunkest first. Don’t want you falling off the stage,” The stage director responded.
Had she asked out loud?
Fuck.
Why had she agreed to Wynonna’s stupid bet?
Because she promised to leave the homestead for twenty-four hours the minute Waverly got home and you’re a horndog.
“Oh no, Haught, you’re not getting cold feet now. Who's ready to rock this?” Wynonna asked, grabbing Nicole by the shoulders.
Nicole stared at her blankly.
“Come on, Haught! I said - Who’s ready to ROCK THIS?”
All of a sudden, Nicole was sixteen again, standing in a huddle of her teammates, asking the same exact question. Adrenaline shot through her as she looked Wynonna right in the eye and answered, “I’m going to rock this!”
“Damn straight! Again! I said WHO IS GOING TO ROCK THIS!”
“I’M GOING TO ROCK THIS!”
“First to the stage we have Santa’s fiercest elfl, ATHENA!” The MC called out to the crowd.
“You got this, Athena! You know what you need to do!” Wynonna encouraged, pushing Nicole towards the stage. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to go out there and TAKE OFF ALL MY CLOTHES BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE!” Nicole shouted, striding towards the opening in the curtain.
Wynonna lunged forward, catching Nicole on the arm and spinning her around. “No! Remember, none of these come off!” She ran circled her hands around the general areas of her boobs and crotch, “We’ll have matching graves if you go full frontal.”
Nicole simmered down a beat and nodded her head, “Right. Right.”
She paused for a half a second before shouting, “WE DANCE BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE!”
“Hell yeah, Haughtpants! Go get ‘em!” Wynonna spun Nicole back around. Nicole continued her power stride to the curtain and threw it open.
The crowd roared as she strutted out to the end of the stage, her short, green, velvet skirt bouncing with every step to Ho Ho Ho by Sia. God did she feel powerful!
She placed her hand on the silver pole and pointed out the crowd.
BOOM!
The club went dark. The crowd was silent in anticipation.
Nicole froze. The ring on her left hand warmed. Nicole closed her eyes and thought of Waverly. Her wife was surrounded in a deep, crimson aura.
“Nicole Rayleigh Haught, get off that stage and get your ass to the car, NOW!” Waverly’s voice ordered from the back of the club.
The lights flicked back on and Nicole ran back to the dressing room.
“We’re fucked,” Wynonna hissed, helping Nicole grab all of her stuff and run as fast as they could towards the entrance of the club. They burst through the door, almost straight into Waverly standing with her arms crossed over her chest next to her rental car.
“Aphrodite made me do it!” Nicole said immediately, throwing her hands up in surrender.
“Jesus, narc!” Wynonna huffed in disbelief, staring at Nicole. "Et tu, Brute?"
“Nicole, get in the car.” Waverly ordered, her face eerily devoid of emotion.
Nicole hunched over, and got into the passenger side of Waverly’s car.
She watched Waverly’s point sharply at Wynonna and then to Wynonna’s truck, then Wynonna slink off to get in her own car.
Waverly got into the car and leaned back against the seat and took a deep breath.
“Welcome home, baby,” Nicole said, sheepishly.
Waverly turned to look at her, the anger visibly melting off of her as Nicole leaned forward and kissed her.
Waverly smiled against Nicole’s lips, “You taste like cheap liquor and you’re covered in glitter.”
Nicole smiled back and whispered, “Just the way you like me.”
Waverly grabbed the soft green of Nicole’s velvety top. Nicole felt Waverly’s eyes travel over every part of her that Waverly could see.
“I want to see that dance when we get home.”
Nicole leaned in and kissed her hard. Her breath brushed against Waverly’s cheek as she whispered, “Only you get the full show.”