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1x1x1x1’s room was…pretty vaguely barren.
Noli was standing in the middle, humming to himself as he stared around, imagining where various pieces of furniture would go if he could get his hands on some.
The walls were less barren, thankfully, thanks to the various childish crayon drawings pinned to them. Everyone in the cabin had their walls coated in drawings from Kidd, not wanting to disappoint him by saying no and throwing the drawings to the side.
One of the pieces of furniture that was in the room was a bed, blankets pulled into a bird-like nest rather than something like an actual bed. In the middle of the nest, firmly pulled into the blankets, was 1x. Noli wasn’t quite sure what she was thinking about as she stared pretty much directly at him, like she was waiting for him to make a move. More like some sort of cornered animal rather than the being of hatred she so firmly stated herself to be.
Noli’s tail flicked a few times as he firmly imagined a proper nightstand next to the bed rather than the shoddily made, more-like-a-shaped-log table that Sonnellino had put together. It was appreciated, of course, but it was clear the man’s hands were meant more for killing and less for woodworking.
“D0 y0u 7hink if w3 h4d 4 g00d r0und w3 c0u1d g37 y0u 4n 4c7u41 t4b13?”
“Do you think of me as a person?”
Noli immediately frantically sputtered in shock.
“HI?” he spun around to face them, “P4RD0N?”
“Did that sound accusatory?” 1x tilted her head, “It was a genuine question.”
Oh, Oh.
Noli had not realized how bad things had gotten. He knew things had been changing in 1x’s brain, slowly turning the being of hatred into something more than just that. He knew they had the potential to be that, considering how gentle they were with Kidd and Doe, and he knew that they’d been recently outright showing affection, but a question like this?
“D0…y0u…7hink y0u’r3 4 p3r50n?”
1x shifted in the blankets, pulling one closer around his shoulders, now staring at the ground.
“I don’t…know. I hate that I don’t know. I hate that I don’t know what I am.”
Noli was not emotionally equipped for this. He was barely emotionally equipped for anything other than putting on a good show.
“0…k4y,” he drew in a breath, trying to figure out how to word things and navigate the situation, “50…wh47’5 b3ing 4 p3r50n 70 y0u?”
1x thought for a long moment, rubbing a hand over xir face with a strange groaning noise. Noli genuinely considered running out of the door and into the woods for a solid moment. Maybe he’d take his chances trying to get to the survivor side of the lake so he could avoid this conversation.
“I don’t know. I don’t know what that entails. I don’t know what being a person means.”
“70 b3 h0n357, X, n3i7h3r d0 I,” Noli shrugged, “I’v3 m3553d wi7h m0r7415 f0r y34r5 4nd 57i11 h4v3 y37 70 figur3 i7 0u7.”
“I’m…all The Spectre calls me is ‘Shard’. That’s what I am. Just a shard of Telamon, no matter how much I try to avoid it.”
Nearly immediately, rage flooded into Noli.
“Y̴̢͉̾o̷̠̠͚̒̐͘u̴̩̐ ̷͈̭̍̀a̵̜̼̠͐̾̒r̸̹͊̒ẹ̶̋̍͜ ̸̫̎́N̷̗̫̐Ǒ̸͚̌T̷̟̈́́̈ ̴͙͎̉j̴̪̆̌̓u̸͒̉͜s̸̬̊̉t̶͓̫̦̋͒ ̸̜̳̓å̵̩̉͘ ̸̙͋s̴̛͎̀ḣ̷͈a̸̜̮̔͝ŕ̵̨̧̹d̵̟̣̭̓̊ ̸̰̤͈͆̆͠o̸̧̥̓̃͂f̷͎̦̐ ̵̖̇t̶̩̃h̷͈̩͊a̴̲̠͙͌ț̶̂͘̚ ̶̞̳̓͌͝b̷̛̳̌a̷̰̼̦̕s̷̡͙̟̈́t̵͇̰͉̃͑ȧ̶̻͕̀͜͝ȑ̵͈͖̟̍d̵̬͚̓.̵̛͒͋͜” he hissed without thinking, D̶̖͕̼̉̀̔ǫ̶͖̅͆̚ ̷̢̤́̓̑ͅN̴͔͉̏Õ̶̡̘̿T̵̨̍̔ͅͅ ̴͉̭͓̓l̷̙͚̮̍̌̐i̴̹͚͆s̷̞̿t̴̟͋e̴͚̫̊̄͘n̴͎̞͗̑̕ͅ ̴͍̥̟̔̽̈́t̷͚͈́ò̸͉̂ ̵̙̭̞̇̊ả̵̠͂ ̶͈̠͓́͆w̸͉̿̊o̴̬͑r̷̜̭͉̅̚d̵͇̅̈́͐ͅ ̴̟́̐̒t̴̨̙͙͗͠h̷͙͗̊̈́ä̵̢̭́̃t̶̪̍́̾ ̷̭͈̣̈d̴̯͈͛a̶̜̪̋m̶̱̩̯̊͗n̵͈̻̊̋͝ẹ̴̹́̈́͐d̴̪́́ ̴͎͉̌S̴̬̫̙͗p̴̧͍̳̕ē̶̛̻̫͘c̶̹̦͉̀̈̚ṫ̴̜̈r̴͍̤͔̈́̐e̴̮̒̓̑ ̴̦̆s̵͖͐̄ä̸̪̲͘y̷̙͠s̴̞͖̅.̶̮̐͐”
1x looked immediately taken aback.
“I…was not aware you hated Telamon?”
Noli made some horrible gurgling laugh like a dying animal.
“0h, 7ru57 m3, I’v3 k3p7 my m0u7h shu7 0n my 0pini0n5 f0r 4 whi13,” he waved a hand, “w45n’7 qui73 5ur3 h0w y0u’d r34c7.”
He nearly pulled himself away from a rant, until he saw 1x lean slightly forwards, as if interested.
“It i5…w45, I gu355, c0mp13731y fu11 0f It531f. It w45 7h3 n457i357 b3ing I 3v3r h4d 7h3 mi5f0r7un3 0f m337ing,” Noli groaned, waving his arms around as he paced around the room, “y0u kn0w h0w I kn0w y0u’r3 m0r3 7h4n 4 5h4rd 0f It?”
“How?” 1x prodded.
Noli turned to point a claw at a crayon drawing on the wall. It was a simple drawing, just 1x drawn in pitch black and bright green crayons, drawn holding the hand of a certain small red beast that lived with them all. Notably, Kidd was drawn in the same red as 1x’s eye.
“B3c4u53 h3’5 57i11 41iv3 in 7hi5 c4bin.”
1x blinked a moment, clearly surprised.
“You think Telamon would have killed him?”
“7h3 s0n 0f 4n 3xp10i73r wh0 m3553d wi7h 3xp10i75 700??” Noli looked at xir incredulously, “0f c0ur53????”
1x let out a contemplative hum, sinking back into the nest. Noli looked her over, realizing just how…tired she looked. How had he not seen it before? In the small few times he’d been put with her in a double killer round since Halloween, he’d seen her be much less enthusiastic about the murder, but he thought it was just boredom. Just the motions going through with so little change-up. He didn’t realize that it was taking a toll on her.
Noli was possessive of things he considered his. He knew this. Nearly everyone around him knew it. It was one of the things he was really known for outside of this place. If Chaos declared you as its possession, you would have a hard time weaseling out of it. That, and anyone would have a hard time messing with you.
Noli would never say it out loud out of fear for a reaction, but the one currently exhausted and bundled in blankets was his, and he was pissed that something of his was hurt.
Slowly, he tried to push the anger to the side.
“4r3 y0u…0k4y?” he tested an ask. 1x didn’t respond in a way he could understand, instead just tucking itself further into the blankets. Noli sighed slowly, “I’m g0nn4 74k3 7h47 45 4 n0.”
Testing something, he approached slowly, seeing 1x watching him as he clambered onto the bed, next to the nest of blankets.
“I d0n’7 h4v3 4 wing 70 wr4p 4r0und y0u, bu7 uh…” he gritted his teeth a moment, realizing how awkward he was sounding, “I gu355 I’m ju57 g0nn4 5i7 n3x7 70–”
He made some sort of horrid glitchy noise as a blanket was suddenly thrown around him, 1x grabbing him close in her talons. Noli sat still for a few moments before he slowly wrapped his arms around her, trying not to think of the last time he held her this close after she’d seen The Spectre’s face.
He realized, with a start, that it was crying. A being he once thought to be pure hatred had now burrowed itself into blankets and into his arms, trying to keep quiet as it cried.
“0h,” he bundled them closer, “X…”
“What am I, Noli?” their voice was so quiet, normally reserved for the few times they felt true fear here, and Noli realized this was one of those times, “I’m supposed to be hatred.”
He went to go say something more, to try to formulate a response to the reaction he would’ve never in a million years expected from them, only to just silently give up, sitting there and holding them as they tried to steady their breathing.
“Y0u’r3 X,” Noli finally settled on saying, “n07 ju57 4 5h4rd 0f T̵̯̦̓̈͛̂͐ê̴̳̗͓̱̥̈́l̵̹͈͇̻͘à̵̢̞͌̂̂̄m̸̦͎̲͂̇̀͒͜o̸͕̾͆̃͂n̶͓̥̭̒͊̋͝, no7 ju57 pur3 h47r3d. Y0u’r3 X.”
Near silence hung in the air for a long, long time after that, Noli just…waiting for the storm to pass. A few times he heard someone walk by the door and pause, but no one even tried to open the door. The Void Star hummed idly, floating next to him, the only sound in the room save for 1x’s quieted, now slightly calmed breathing. Noli took a risk and adjusted, leaning himself against the inner side of the blanket nest, pulling 1x to be partway on top of him to allow xir to rest xir head on him rather than just leaning against him. With that settled, he took another risk, reaching a hand over to the feathers he could reach on the back of 1x’s wings. He waited for just a moment, expecting to be told off, only to find the wing he had reached for extended.
Silent permission gained, he gently ran his claws against the feathers, brushing out dirt and pulling out of place feathers back into place, picking out feathers that should have already fallen out but hadn’t yet. He thought for a solid moment that it’d be funny to incorporate the bright green feathers into his own look, but decided against even trying to ask, deciding that it’d be too much of an open show before 1x xemself showed open affection.
As Noli finished up and moved to the next wing, he suddenly found himself mildly startled by a strange almost purring noise. For a moment he wondered if the humming from The Void Star had somehow shifted without him purposefully doing so, until he came to the sudden realization that it was coming from 1x.
She was trilling. Like a content bird.
Noli blinked at her solidly for a few moments before continuing to preen her wings, letting the noise mix with the noise of The Void Star humming. Content to make sure she looked her best. Content to make sure what was his was alright.
They could discuss furniture later.