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Under better circumstances, NOX would be ecstatic to be in Fujimi's bed.
Fujimi isn't there with them, of course. They're crashing there for their first night back from the dream world, in clothes that have also been borrowed from Fujimi. Everything between waking up in reality and stepping into Fujimi's apartment for the first time in a year is a blur of sense and color, punctuated by "nots": not able to speak, not able to answer questions beyond nodding or shaking their head, not able to move without being physically led around. Now, with a door sealing them into blessed darkness and quiet, they've slowly thawed back to life, at least enough to feel the softness of the blankets against their skin and register it as pleasant.
They have every reason to be content. They should be content.
Except Nem still needs rescuing, and CODE needs dismantling, and they need to be ready because anything could be waiting for them in their dreams. And they are an agent and dreamwalker and this is what they trained for. This is what they asked for, what they begged for when they first stumbled into it all. How Odaka would scoff, watching them hesitate on the ledge now instead of just diving.
But then, that's one of many reasons they're here, and Odaka is not.
A low knock at the door. It creaks open, letting in a strip of light and Fujimi's new partner.
"Hey," she says softly. "Baku told us you're having trouble sleeping. How are you feeling?"
Baku. That's Code Number Seven. The one who pulled them out of their endless dream. The one who, an hour ago, maybe more, checked in to find them laying stock-still, chest heaving, hair plastered to their forehead with sweat, eyes frozen on the ceiling fan so they wouldn't close and send them right back to numbness and weightlessness and non-existence for another year-
"I'm fine," they say.
"I doubt it. I wouldn't be either, in your place." She's carrying something by a thick handle, so big that she has to open the door three times as wide to get it through. Mercifully, she leaves the light switch alone, letting the hallway provide just enough light for them to see each other. She drags two chairs over to the bed and sits, placing her case on the ground next to her. "We weren't properly introduced. You go by NOX now, right? And neutral forms of address?"
They nod. "And your name is… Nasuka, right?"
Her lips press together into a thin line, and NOX gets a sinking feeling. "I'm sorry, did I-"
"No," she sighs, "no, you didn't. That's what Fujimi calls me even though I've told him a million times not to. Only my parents call me Nasuka."
Nice going. "I'm sorry," NOX says again. "So what do you go by?"
She looks at them for a long moment. Then her gaze softens, and she smiles. It's a nice smile. It comes to her easy.
"Well, I guess it's all right if you call me Nasuka. It would be more awkward to start being formal now, given…" She makes a vague, circular gesture with one arm. "…all the steps we've skipped already."
A spark of guilt spoils the warmth NOX feels. "You don't have to do that."
"Do what?"
"Make exceptions for me. I'm not… fragile. I don't need to be treated gently."
Nasuka arches an eyebrow. "Okay. That doesn't have anything to do with what I decide you can call me."
Fatigue bats at the edges of NOX's eyes, and their pulse kicks like it's trying to outrun it. "Sure, okay," they say hurriedly. "Nasuka." Talking is good. Talking keeps them awake. "What was it you wanted again?"
"Let's see, right now it's" — she checks her left wrist — "one in the morning, and you're still awake."
"So are you."
Nasuka gives them a truly withering look. "You're not seriously about to play that game. I don't have time for that and I know you don't."
They blink, any further stalling tactics wiped from their mind in the face of her candor. "Yes ma'am."
For a moment Nasuka looks like she's about to say something, then her eyes glitter with — is that mischief? — before she straightens up, all business once again.
"Right. So. You need to sleep." She spots some change in NOX's face and quickly continues, "I understand after what you went through that might not sound appealing, but the fact is that staying awake won't do anything but make you feel even worse. I think we'd all rather you sleep now, in a safe environment, than push yourself until you pass out somewhere."
How is this even remotely important right now? "I'm fine."
"You are not 'fine,'" she retorts. "You were trapped between the conscious and subconscious worlds without food, water, physical activity, or a physical body for a year. To be frank, you shouldn't even be alive right now, and if it wasn't for Baku you wouldn't be. Now, it's our job to make sure you stay that way, and since we're basically making this up as we go, the least you can do is humor us." She opens her phone, grimaces at something on the screen, and closes it.
"Also, right now you're a civilian, and you're part of our investigation. So… cooperate. Please."
Oh. That's right, they are. NOX briefly considers pulling the "secret agent" card, but thinks better of it.
"Your and Fujimi's investigation, I suppose. I was expecting to see him tonight, if anyone," they admit.
"Fujimi," Nasuka says, "is under strict orders to give you space until tomorrow morning. So if he comes in here, tell me and I'll kick his ass."
NOX can't help but half smile. "He hasn't changed any, then," they murmur to themself. Their hand goes to their long, white bang and teases at it a moment before they notice, and their smile falls.
It's probably for the best he's not allowed in. Fujimi is the one person, above all, NOX couldn't stand to face right now.
Shaking away the bad thoughts, they glance at Nasuka and, to their surprise, catch her staring back. She holds their gaze until NOX is the one who has to look away first, cheeks hot. Damn, she's sharp.
"Well." Nasuka sounds a little too satisfied. "It's about time we break out the secret weapon." She gives the top of the carrier next to her a pat.
Soft noises come from within. Nasuka shushes it, gently, then lifts it to the second chair and unlatches the barred door.
At first, NOX can't see anything inside. Then the space shifts, and they're staring into two amber eyes, the pupils large and wary.
"Come on," Nasuka coaxes, her voice softer than NOX has ever heard it. "It's okay." To NOX, she says, "Hold out your hand so he can smell you."
NOX reaches out towards the carrier and is almost immediately met by a damp tap on their knuckle. Reflexively, they jerk their hand back, earning a wreh from the darkness.
Nasuka laughs. "Sorry, he's a little stupid. He can't sniff anything without literally touching his nose to it." She drums her fingers on the bed, an inch or two away from the entrance, and clicks a te-te-te noise out with her tongue. "Come out and say hi, sweetie."
A moment passes. A single black paw extends, probes the air, settles on the bed. A tiny nose, and with it a gossamer spray of whiskers, follow. They twitch once, twice. Finally, in a moment of bravery, a cat shoulders its way out of the carrier, blinking at its new surroundings.
"NOX," Nasuka says, "meet Black Case."
NOX stares at the cat, its fur dark as night. "You're joking."
"Nope." She smiles, offering a cupped palm to Black Case, who scrubs his cheek against it. "I got him pretty soon after I started in Paranormal Affairs, so it felt like it was meant to be. Just came home one day and he was sulking around my dumpster. And I know you're not supposed to feed strays, but he was crying, and he was so small and lonely and-" The cat chirps, and Nasuka giggles. "And now you're Mama's baby, aren't you?" she coos. "Yes, you are." Black Case prrups in assent.
She glances at NOX. "Fujimi said you like animals?"
NOX watches Black Case knead the blanket, one paw after the other, eyes shut to slits in total contentment. "I love animals," they say, then hesitate. "It's…" The cat's tail winds through Nasuka's fingers. "It's been a long time since I actually… got to touch one."
Nasuka nods. "I figured. That's why I thought he might help some. He has this thing he does, and it helps me fall asleep… well, why don't I just show you? Pat your chest and call him over."
After a moment, NOX complies, a faint pink tint on their cheeks. "Black Case," they mumble.
"Come on, louder than that."
"Black Case," NOX says, cringing as they hear the higher pitch of pet-speak in their voice. "Come here… s-sweetie."
The corner of Nasuka's mouth twitches, and she clears her throat.
Black Case's attention turns to NOX. His tail flicks. He crouches, then leaps onto their chest in a swish of motion. His paws shift for balance, sinking into the soft parts between their ribs.
"Does he," NOX wheezes, "sit, down?"
Nasuka covers her mouth with the back of her hand. "Give him a second."
The cat stares at NOX coolly. Five more seconds for that comment, he seems to say. But in an act of clemency, it's not long before he lays down, tucking his paws underneath him until he's a solid mass of warmth and gentle pressure.
"Go on," says Nasuka, seeing NOX hesitate. "He likes being scratched on the cheek."
They meet the cat's gaze again, this time only a few inches from their face. "Hello," they say. Black Case is unimpressed.
"Um." Gingerly, they extend their index finger towards him. Black Case leans into it, hard; they feel his cheekbone find their nail and rasp across it, back and forth. His fur is so soft. NOX curls in their fingers to scratch under his chin, pausing as they feel a vibration at his throat: the cat has begun to purr. It spreads throughout their body, shaking the dust from the corners of their being, clearing the cobwebs, letting in space for them to breathe. They have to take a moment to blink away tears.
"See? You two will get along just fine." Nasuka gives Black Case a satisfied pat on the back, then stands, stretching out her shoulders. "He knows where his water and litter is if he needs it, but he'll probably sleep most of the night. As for you," she says, nodding at NOX, "Baku's going to keep watch in your dreams when you do fall asleep. He'll keep his distance, but if anything happens, he'll be there to help. And if you need anything flesh-and-blood, Fujimi and I are set up in the living room. Don't be afraid to ask, we want to help."
NOX looks at her wearily. "Why are you doing this for me?"
"Sorry?"
"I understand Fujimi. Even… Baku… to an extent. But you? Surely this goes beyond your job description," they say. "I know because it used to be my job description. So… why?"
Nasuka pauses. She chews her lip and throws a glance over her shoulder, into the warm glow beyond the door. She turns back.
"You're important to Fujimi," she mumbles. "That makes you important to me, too." Her ears redden, and she stabs a finger at NOX. "Don't you DARE tell him I said that."
Aaaaah. They smile and shake their head, murmuring, "You too, eh?"
Nasuka groans, bunching up her bangs in her fist. "God, NOX, the things I could tell you- the things I have to ask you- ugh! He drives me insane."
"And yet."
"And yet!" She throws up her hands in exasperation. "Exactly. Finally I have someone to talk to about this. I'm glad you're here."
I'm glad you're here. So casually. Even though they just met, even though they barely know each other.
NOX lowers their eyes. "…Thank you. For everything."
"Don't mention it," she says, but she's smiling, they can hear it in her voice. "We'll talk tomorrow. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."
She leaves the door open a crack. NOX pets Black Case and lays back on their pillow, watching the light outside shift as people walk back and forth past the room. Fujimi and Baku, checking in with Nasuka to see how things went. A conversation, too low and soft on all sides to be properly heard, rustles against the dark bedroom, sounding more like the purr rumbling in Black Case's throat than human speech. NOX feels like they're a child again, listening to their parents putting the house to sleep.
Eventually the sounds die down, and not long after a light clicks off somewhere in the house, sealing up the darkness with an air of finality.
The room is quiet. NOX listens to the cat's purr fluctuate with his long, snoring breaths, the only sound other than the muttering heater.
They are alone with their thoughts again.
They can feel it, in the back of their mind, lurking just under the surface. They try not to name it. The cat is warm, the cat is making a pleasing sound and sensation. That is real. Focus on that.
A coldness seeps into their stomach, their bones, their limbs. They're too still. They have to keep moving.
Their breathing quickens. They have to keep moving, if they stay here, then-
Mreh. Tiny pinpricks needle through their shirt, and Black Case gives them a baleful look. The sudden movement of their chest must have jostled him out of his slumber.
"At least you can fall asleep," NOX mutters. "Way to rub it in."
But the interruption does break a link in the chain of their fear, letting some of the tension loose. Their fists uncurl, their pulse gentles. They feel the sheets again, soft on their body. They have a body. The Nightmare didn't take that from them. Baku didn't let it.
Run, a voice inside them still whispers. Run. But it's within their brain again instead of seizing it.
They take a deep breath.
Baku and Fujimi and Nasuka are here. They will protect them. Even if NOX doesn't deserve it, they will protect them.
They close their eyes.
It's still dark when they open them again, minutes or hours later, they couldn't say. Just a sliver, just enough to see the doorknob turn.
The door opens, pausing at the perfect spot to miss the squeaky hinge. Heavy footsteps shuffle in.
Fujimi. His silhouette is barely visible in the staticky darkness. A car crumbles over the road outside, painting red stripes across his form where the blinds bisect its hazard lights.
NOX imagines how they must look to him, swallowed by the night in the same way. Is their hair a uniform black again in the dark? Are they Odaka in his eyes, or NOX?
His shoulders shake. Fujimi is crying.
Quietly, very quietly, like he's trying not to wake them. So he must think they're asleep. NOX takes in their next breath slow and hopes they're convincing.
You're important to Fujimi. Nasuka's words come back to them. This was what she'd meant? They'd heard from Baku that Fujimi had been looking for them over the past year, but this kind of reaction…
His sobs wander around in the dark, searching for purchase, finding none. He stumbles over to NOX's bedside, and, after clenching and unclenching his fists, takes their hand. He holds it like a drowning man.
Black Case leans towards him, questioning his presence with a mmmr?
Fujimi brushes his other palm down the cat's back. Then his mouth screws up, and he drops into the chair, burying his face in Black Case's fur. NOX feels the weight of his torso settle on them and quake with stifled, choked sobs. His grip on their hand tightens, and it's all NOX can do not to give themself away by returning the hold.
He's saying something, muffled by the cat's fur. He turns his head to the side, and the wide, wet tear tracks on his cheeks catch the small hints of light in the room.
"I'm sorry," he whimpers. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Thank you for coming back." He rubs his thumb in a small circle on NOX's palm. They're suddenly grateful for the darkness, as they're certain they're bright red. "Thank you for… for being okay. I'll never let you go again."
After everything NOX has done.
They hope Fujimi can't see the tears glinting in the corners of their own eyes.
Black Case cranes his neck around and starts to lick Fujimi's hair, carding his bangs away from his forehead. Fujimi makes a wet noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh, and wraps his arm around the cat. "Thanks, B."
They sit there like that for a long while, the three of them, before NOX begins to hear steady snoring and realizes Fujimi's fallen asleep.
NOX waits a few minutes, listening for any shifting or change in the rhythm. Then, when they're absolutely convinced Fujimi is fast asleep, they reach out with their free hand and caress his forehead.
His hair is longer than NOX remembers it, and choppier; they picture him cutting it himself with a pair of scissors after being hounded for months about looking "shabby." They let their thumb rove downward, tracing Fujimi's upper lip, feeling the roughness of his stubble like sand. That's new too. They're used to seeing him clean-shaven, and though they can't deny this new look suits him, their heart twists with sudden guilt thinking about how he must have been living while they were gone.
"Take care of yourself too, idiot," NOX whispers.
Tucking a lock of unkempt hair behind Fujimi's ear, they continue stroking his temple, even after Black Case tires of grooming and settles his head back on his paws. With their other hand holding Fujimi's, it's a fairly awkward position to keep. Their arm is going to ache so much when they wake up.
The thought, which came to NOX so easily, courses through them like a static shock when it sets in.
When I wake up. A smile is on their lips as they finally drift off to sleep.
They dream about being loved. That's it.