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“Vernon Hansol Chwe, what in the Party City is this?” Seungkwan asked.
Iced americano in hand, Seungkwan had returned to his room after a long morning of diffusing a fight between his sisters over video call only to find a nausea-inducing affront to fashion sitting on his bed. And this time, it wasn’t just Vernon himself that brought a sneer to Seungkwan’s face; it was what he held out in his hands: a pair of knee-high socks with hideous rainbow stripes.
“Do you like them?” Vernon asked.
“Do I like them?” Seungkwan repeated, “They’re radioactive.”
“That’s good, right?” Vernon said.
Seungkwan delicately took the socks out of Vernon’s hand, holding them between his thumb and forefinger.
“If I wear these, I’ll end up growing an extra toe,” Seungkwan said.
Vernon, who was wearing a tie-dye rainbow hoodie almost as offensive as the socks, nodded.
“That would be cool,” he said.
“No, it would not,” Seungkwan replied.
He turned on his heel, socks in hand, and made a beeline for the trash can; before he could take more than two steps out of his bedroom door, he ran into someone dressed almost as garishly as Vernon.
“Hi Seungkwan,” Soonyoung greeted him, wearing a rainbow-striped bomber jacket, “Oh my gosh, are these for me?”
Soonyoung took the socks out of Seungkwan’s hands and squealed with glee.
“These match my jacket perfectly!” he exclaimed, “Seokmin! Come look!”
Tearing around the corner came Seokmin, wearing a matching rainbow t-shirt.
“Oh my golly gee goodness, that’s perfect!” Seokmin said.
Vernon shuffled up next to Seungkwan’s shoulder.
“Did you three… coordinate this?” Seungkwan asked him, gesturing in disgust at their outfits.
“Yeah,” Vernon nodded, “Do you like it?”
“I think you know the answer to that,” Seungkwan replied.
“Thanks for the socks, Seungkwan,” Soonyoung said, pulling one of them up to his knee.
“Wait, Seungkwan gave you those?” Seokmin asked.
Seokmin gripped Seungkwan by the shoulders.
“I just wanna say,” he said, voice thick with emotion, “You are so brave.”
“Thanks?” Seungkwan said.
Soonyoung gave the other sock to Seokmin, who pulled it on to match.
“This is amazing,” Soonyoung said, “Now come on, we need to stop Jihoon from adding Joji to the playlist.”
They ran off, socks flashing and nearly running into Minghao as he walked by, his nails painted in equally bright rainbow colors. He was quickly followed by Jun, who had his nose buried in his phone.
“Hi Seungkwan,” Minghao said, “Sorry in advance.”
Jun looked up from his phone and gasped.
“Wait,” he said, “This is my chance. Um, ok,” he took a deep breath in as if starting an important speech. “‘Hey queen, your mug is serving looks today. Yass mama cunty boots, I’m gagged. Work.’”
Jun looked up expectantly. Minghao patted him on the shoulder.
“Very good,” Minghao said, “Although we can work on our intonation a little.”
Minghao steered Jun away from Seungkwan and they walked off, debating the proper use of the word ‘slay.’
“What is going on…” Seungkwan muttered to himself.
Hearing sounds coming from another bedroom, Seungkwan poked his head into the doorway to see Joshua arranging his extensive collection of designer perfumes.
“Oh, hi Seungkwan,” he said, “A question for you: does ‘Bleu de Chanel’ give more G or B vibes?”
“It gives ‘desperate rich boy wastes his money while searching for validation’ vibes,” Seungkwan responded, “What are you talking about?”
Joshua chuckled. “G it is then,” he said, “I’m arranging my scent collection according to the acronym. ‘Versace Crystal Noir’ for L, ‘Calvin Klein Euphoria’ for T, et cetera…”
“What’s gotten into you all?” Seungkwan asked.
“We’re just trying our best to be supportive of–”
“I’m NOT homophobic, I swear!”
Chan’s voice interrupted Joshua, and Seungkwan nearly dropped his coffee as Chan knocked into him as he scurried by.
“Watch it, Jimmy Neutron,” Seungkwan snapped.
“You watch it, Thomas the Train looking–” Chan replied, but then looked over Seungkwan’s shoulder with fear in his eyes.
Seungcheol approached slowly, crossing his arms as he raised an eyebrow.
“Um, I mean,” Chan corrected himself in a wavering voice, “I love and support you no matter what and your experiences are valid.”
“See?” Seungcheol said, “It’s easy to be supportive if you just try.”
“I am trying,” Chan whined, “I’m not homophobic!”
“Then come help me set up the living room,” Seungcheol said.
He gathered Chan under his arm, and as the two of them walked away, Seungkwan could see that the back of Seungcheol’s denim jacket was embroidered with rainbow flags. As they walked, Seungcheol pulled out a full-sized rainbow flag from his pocket and started to unfold it. How had it even fit in there?
Following them out, Seungkwan walked past the dining table, where Wonwoo and was busy arranging a stack of books by rainbow color. Mingyu hovered nearby, wearing an apron that said ‘Kiss the Cook’ in rainbow colors.
“This cover is indigo,” Wonwoo said, “It should go in the indigo section.”
“But it’s got ‘purple’ in the name,” Mingyu argued, “It’s literally called ‘The Color Purple.’ It should be purple. Obviously.”
Wonwoo sighed heavily. “Shall we put ‘Rubyfruit Jungle’ in the red section, then?” he asked.
“Great idea!” Mingyu said, moving one of the books.
“I was being sarcastic,” Wonwoo said, “The cover is green.”
“Seungkwan!” Mingyu called.
“What is it now?” Seungkwan groaned.
“Is ‘The Color Purple’ a purple or a blue book?” Mingyu asked, “And there’s obviously a right answer here, so choose wisely.”
“How should I know?” Seungkwan said.
“You’ve read these gay books, haven’t you?” Mingyu said.
“These are not just ‘gay books,’” Wonwoo corrected, “This is a collection of quite possibly the most influential queer literature of all time. And the cover isn’t blue.”
Mingyu turned with a triumphant grin.
“Aha!” he said, “It’s not! You admitted it yourself.”
Wonwoo sighed again.
“It’s indigo,” he said, “What are you doing here anyway? Don’t you have a dairy-free gluten-free sugar-free vegan meal to prepare?”
“It’s in the oven,” Mingyu said.
“Well, if you continue to be so contrarian I’ll send you to practice slang with Junhui.”
Mingyu’s eyes widened.
“Please don’t–” he started, but was interrupted by loud music as the intro to Lady Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’ started playing throughout the house.
Jihoon emerged from behind a massive speaker, frowning deeply.
“I don’t wanna hear any more fucking complaining about this playlist,” he said, “This is as good as it’s gonna get.”
As soon as he was in full view, Soonyoung and Seokmin set upon him like feral dogs.
“Jihoon, where is your color?” Soonyoung said, picking at Jihoon’s black t-shirt.
“What about the dress code?” Seokmin asked, pointing to his black sweatpants.
Soonyoung took a rainbow sticker from his pocket and stuck it to Jihoon’s shirt. Jihoon recoiled from his touch but left the sticker alone.
“There,” Soonyoung said, taking a step back to admire his handiwork.
Seokmin blinked away tears. “It’s perfect,” he said. “Seungkwan? What do you think?”
“What do I think?” Seungkwan asked, brows raised, “I think this entire place looks like a unicorn’s stomach contents. And it smells like ten lesbian aunties are having an orgy in Joshua’s room.”
Soonyoung and Seokmin looked at each other and squealed.
“It’s perfect,” Seokmin repeated. Then, he looked at Seungkwan, as if an idea had just struck him. “Oh! Also, Seungkwan,” he said, “Do you want to go to drag brunch later?”
“Do you want to perform at drag brunch later?” Soonyoung added, wild eyed.
“No!” Seungkwan said, “I mean, maybe, that sounds fun, but why is everyone acting like this?”
Seungkwan looked around the room, at Seungcheol and Chan struggling to hang up the flag, at the rainbow LED lights flashing on the speaker, at the near-blinding amounts of color on everyone’s outfits. Every wall was covered in sparkly rainbow hearts, rainbow streamers floated over their heads, and several cartons of oat milk sat on the counter, untouched.
All this memorabilia… the queer literature… Jun saying ‘yass queen’…
There was no way… but what other reason would there be?
Was all this… for Seungkwan?
Seungkwan buried his face in his hands so hard that his iced coffee flung from his hands, spilling all over the carpet. Of course. He groaned and grabbed a paper towel, Chan and Seokmin flocking over to help clean it up.
Mingyu took advantage of the momentary distraction to rearrange the books on the table, earning him a cold look from Wonwoo. Mingyu wilted slightly.
“Leave me and my process be,” Wonwoo said, pointing Mingyu in the opposite direction.
“Come on, Gyu,” Seungkwan said, still mourning his coffee as he got up from the ground, “I think I saw Jun go this way.”
He grabbed Mingyu by the arm and dragged him away from the chaos, tucking them away in a corner of the alway.
“Alright,” Seungkwan hissed when he was out of earshot of the others, “What the fuck is going on?”
Mingyu pouted.
“Wonwoo thinks he’s smarter than me and that I’m annoying and ugly,” he said.
“Not that,” Seungkwan said, “Why are you all doing this? All of this?”
He gestured at the rainbow explosion around him.
“All the Pride stuff?” Mingyu asked confusedly.
“Yes,” Seungkwan said, “Did Seungcheol put you up to this?”
“Oh, yeah, he’s been telling us what to do,” Mingyu said, “But it’s all really because of Jeonghan.”
Seungkwan cursed under his breath.
“I should have known he would be behind something like this,” he whispered.
“We’re just being supportive,” Mingyu said, “You don’t like it?”
“Seems like me liking it isn’t important to you,” Seungkwan asked, “You never even thought to ask me about it!”
“Well, I guess we thought it would be best…” Mingyu said uncertainly.
Seungkwan huffed.
“No one asks me about anything around here,” he grumbled.
Mingyu looked down at his hands, fidgeting.
“Well, actually,” he said hesitantly, “There is something I’ve been wanting to ask you about.”
“What is it?” Seungkwan asked.
Mingyu looked back up at him and scratched his neck.
“I– well…” he started, raking his hands through his hair uncomfortably, “Well, don’t take this the wrong way, though, like don’t get mad at me.”
“I’ll get mad if you say something I should get mad at,” Seungkwan said, “Probably if you say something I shouldn’t get mad at, too.”
Mingyu frowned. “Well, I wanted to ask you–” he stopped mid-sentence, pulling at the hem of his shirt, “Well, it’s– I just…”
“Just say it, Mingyu,” Seungkwan snapped.
Mingyu swallowed.
“You don’t– you know, have a… a crush on me or anything, do you?”
Seungkwan stared at him blankly.
“Do I what?” he asked.
“Like,” Mingyu said, looking away awkwardly, “You don’t like me… like that, right?”
Seungkwan pinched the bridge of his nose hard enough to see stars.
“You’re asking me,” he said, “Your good friend and roommate of multiple years, whether I have a crush on you?”
“Well…” Mingyu said, “Yeah?”
“Of course I don’t, you fucking idiot,” Seungkwan seethed, “What the fuck gave you that impression?”
“Dunno…” Mingyu mumbled.
“You think anyone who likes guys is automatically into you?” Seungkwan asked, furious, “You really think you’re that irresistible?”
“I just wanted to make sure,” Mingyu said weakly.
“I’m over this,” Seungkwan said.
He stomped away from Mingyu and into the living room, tearing past Wonwoo and his queer literature and nearly ripping Seungcheol’s pride flag in half on the way. He stormed right between Jun and Minghao as they were practicing the pronunciation of ‘kiki’ and pushed Soonyoung away from the sound system.
“Don’t touch my speakers–” Jihoon protested, but Seungkwan shut him up with a glare as he reached for the pause button.
The music went quiet, and so did the rest of the house, everyone looking up at Seungkwan with wide eyes.
“Alright, you can all stop now,” Seungkwan said, “I know what you’re trying to tell me.”
The boys looked at each other in confusion.
“What do you mean?” Seungcheol asked, cautiously stepping closer as if trying to tame a wild animal.
“With all this,” Seungkwan gestured around him, “The rainbows. The music. Jun’s slang. I know what it means.”
“Happy Pride?” Seokmin said hesitantly.
“Yes,” Seungkwan said, clenching his fists, “I know you all want me to come out to you, but this is not the way to do it!”
Silence fell over the house. Seungkwan looked at Vernon for approval, but was only met with his typical nonplussed face.
“I like rainbows as much as anyone, but this is overkill,” Seungkwan said, “I don’t need to be told I’m ‘so brave’ out of the blue just for existing!”
“But– but everyone is brave for existing…” Seokmin warbled.
“And do you tell them this on a daily basis?” Seungkwan asked, “Even the straight ones?”
“Yeah…” Seokmin said.
“Name one straight person you called ‘brave’ today,” Seungkwan said.
“As if he can name one straight person,” Minghao muttered.
“Wait, Seungkwan,” Seungcheol interjected, “Did you think… this was all for you?”
“Isn’t it?” Seungkwan asked, “As if you just happened to have a gigantic Pride flag lying around.”
As if on cue, one corner of the rainbow flag detached from the wall, the corner flapping down sadly.
“I always like to keep it on hand,” Seungcheol said, reaching to smooth it over, “You never know when it could come in handy.”
“And how often would that be?” Seungkwan asked.
“A lot of people come out to me,” Seungcheol said in response.
“How much could that possibly be to warrant keeping that thing in your pocket?”
Seungcheol gave him a grave look, eyes hallowed. “A lot.”
“So you want to catch another,” Seungkwan stated, “Like a pokemon.”
“What? Not at all!” Seungcheol said, “I mean, my door is always open, but Seungkwan…” he approached closer now, resting a hand on Seungkwan’s shoulder, “Not that we wouldn’t do all this for you, if that’s what you wanted, but we’re actually doing this because of–”
Suddenly, the low murmur of voices floated through the front door.
Seungcheol stopped midsentence, paling, and a prickle ran down Seungkwan’s spine. Everything in the world seemed to still for just a moment, as if the very fabric of the universe was holding its breath. Without even recognizing the voice, Seungkwan knew precisely what this feeling was for. Who this feeling was for.
“Jeonghan,” the two of them whispered to each other, just as the door creaked open.
“I’m here,” Jeonghan announced, “Don’t get too excited. I see you all drooling.”
“Jihoon!” Seungcheol called, “The music!”
Jihoon reached over Seungkwan to press a button on the speaker. A Charli xcx song started playing.
Jeonghan entered the apartment, a sick grin spreading on his face. Seungcheol snapped to attention as he appeared, watching him stroll around the room.
“This…” Jeonghan said, touching the flag in what seemed like awe, “Is perfect. Well done, Cheol. You follow orders nicely.”
“This is for Jeonghan?” Seungkwan exclaimed.
“Not for me,” Jeonghan said, “For them.”
At Jeonghan’s gesture, a pair of women came through the doorway after him, holding each other’s hands.
“Boys,” Jeonghan announced, “Meet my cousin and her wife. They’re here on their honeymoon and wanted to stop by after their flight. Isn’t that nice?”
“Slay!” Jun said enthusiastically.
One of the women looked around the rainbow-infested room then said something to her wife in a foreign language, goggle-eyed. The other woman, who Seungkwan assumed was Jeonghan’s cousin, sighed, saying something back softly. Her demeanor then changed completely as she glared at Jeonghan.
“You fucker,” she said, “I should have known you’d pull something like this.”
Jeonghan just laughed.
“What, don’t you like it?” he asked innocently, “It’s so…” he let his fingers run over a rainbow streamer, “You.”
“I’ll tell grandma that you curse in church,” his cousin said.
“I’ll tell her that you wear tampons,” Jeonghan countered.
Jeonghan’s cousin groaned fiercely, shoving him in the shoulder.
“You ready for the grand tour?” Jeonghan asked. He snapped his fingers at Seungcheol, who rushed to take both women’s bags.
“Hi, I’m Chan, and I’m not homophobic," Chan introduced himself to the couple.
“No one said he was,” Minghao muttered.
Seungkwan stared at the couple as they disappeared down the hallway with Jeonghan. A few of the other boys tried to follow, but Seungcheol stopped them.
“Give them some space for now,” Seungcheol said, “Let them get settled. They’ll come out when they’re ready.”
He dismissed all the other boys except for Mingyu, who took one of the bags hanging off of Seungcheol’s arm, and both of them scurried after Jeonghan and his cousins. This left Seungkwan gaping at the rest of the room, his whole world re-aligning.
“I… I thought…” Seungkwan said, unable to finish his sentence.
“That it was all about you?” Minghao asked, “Yeah. It’s not the Seungkwan show all the time. We can’t throw a party for every gay person that steps foot in this house.”
“Unless you want us to!” Seokmin interjected, “Then we can!”
“Ooh, that sounds fun actually,” Chan said.
“I’d pull up,” Joshua said.
“Oh my god, please can we?” Soonyoung asked.
“Sure,” Vernon nodded.
“Absolutely not,” Jihoon said, “That would tip me over the edge.”
“We can’t,” Minghao repeated, “And we won’t. Well, I won’t. At least not for anyone else. Jeonghan… has a way of getting people to do what he likes.”
“More like getting Seungcheol to do what he likes,” Jihoon muttered.
“But–” Seungkwan started, “But if it was all for Jeonghan’s cousin, then why did Mingyu ask me if I had a crush on him?”
“Oh, he does that to everyone,” Minghao said dismissively.
“Yeah, he asked me that within two weeks of knowing each other,” Seokmin said.
“He asked me when I got a glass of water for him,” Chan said.
“I let him borrow my underwear,” Vernon said.
“All I did was write one song for him…” Jihoon said.
“He asked my mom when she made him dinner,” Joshua said.
“He asked me before I spoke Korean so I just said ‘where is the library’ in response,” Jun said.
“Good to know he also asked all of you,” Wonwoo added with a nod, “And tried to kiss you too, right?”
The other boys eyed each other silently.
“Right?” Wonwoo asked, a hint of unease in his voice.
“Right, buddy,” Joshua said, patting Wonwoo’s arm, “Totally.”
“Anyway,” Minghao said, turning back to Seungkwan, “I’m surprised it took him this long to ask you.”
“That’s what made you think we put up this Pride stuff for you?” Jihoon asked.
“No,” Seungkwan said, “I don’t know, I thought… since I’m the most obviously… you know…”
Minghao raised his eyebrows, but before he could say anything, Jeonghan entered the room again, lost in an elaborate story.
“And then Soonyoung nearly died and I heroically carried him out of the wilderness,” Jeonghan said, “And that’s why we don’t let Shua carry the map anymore.”
“Right,” Jeonghan’s cousin said skeptically.
“Ignore the fact he’s lying,” Mingyu told the women as he trotted into the kitchen, taking a tray out of the fridge, “Is anyone interested in a gluten-free dairy-free sugar-free vegan keto lemon bar?”
“Me!” Seokmin exclaimed.
“I was asking our guests, actually–”
Before Mingyu could finish his sentence, several boys descended on the baked goods like vultures upon a carcass. The carnage was horrific; the poor tray never stood a chance.
“Ate, no crumbs,” Jun remarked, which was either another attempt at slang or just a simple environmental observation.
After the lemon bars, the boys’ focus turned to their guests; as Jeonghan’s cousin and her wife settled down in the living room, surrounded by an enthusiastic Seokmin, curious Soonyoung, and an adamant Chan insisting that he wasn’t homophobic, Seungkwan joined Vernon in picking at the leftovers of the lemon bars.
“I’m really stupid, aren’t I?” Seungkwan said.
Vernon shrugged.
“What kind of self-centered asshole assumes that a party is all for him?” Seungkwan asked.
“I don’t think you’re self-centered,” Vernon said.
“But you do think I’m an asshole?”
“Definitely an asshole, yeah.”
Seungkwan chuckled.
“I don’t know…” he said, “I thought maybe you guys were sick of waiting for me to come out.”
“Well, do you want to come out to us?” Vernon asked.
“I…” Seungkwan thought for a moment.
In the other room, Jeonghan’s cousin was sharing an embarrassing story from his childhood, everyone erupting into laughter. Seungcheol peered through the doorway, giving Seungkwan a subtle questioning look. Seungkwan flashed him a thumbs-up, which earned him a gentle nod in return.
“I don’t know,” Seungkwan finally said to Vernon, “I don’t know if I’m ready for all that yet.”
Vernon shrugged again.
“Okay,” he said, “We don’t care about that stuff. We care about you.”
Seungkwan shoved him.
“Idiot.”
Yet somehow, he couldn’t stop from smiling.
A few of the other boys trickled in and out of the kitchen, and as they did, Mingyu’s voice caught Seungkwan’s ear, hesitant as he leaned in to whisper to Jeonghan.
“Jeonghan… you don’t think your cousin’s wife has a crush on me, do you?”
All Seungkwan could do was laugh.