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They've met before.
Once, at SBS Gayo, when her coordi decided a bright yellow dress with feathers and ribbon was somehow flattering and she turns after swatting Mijoo away ("you look like a sad chicken") and bumps into her.
"Oh," Seulgi steps away first, startled. She knows her, of course, in the way she does from watching their performance earlier before her own. Her eyes turn to crescents as she bows. "Sorry," she says, "I wasn't looking where I was going."
The other girl offers her a smile of her own, shy, maybe. She's only so much older and debuted just a year before, hardly a sunbae to be nervous about. Seulgi's about to tell her just that when:
"Mina-yah, Mina-yah! Jihyo has been looking all over for -- oh? Seulgi unnie?"
Jeongyeon sidles up next to them with ease, reaching out a hand to awkwardly pat Seulgi's arm. She looks no less than sympathetic.
"Attack of the coordi unnie?" she asks, and Seulgi rolls her eyes and aims a good natured smack at her. "Ouch," Jeongyeon feigns hurt, rubbing her shoulder, "your appearance deceives you."
She turns toward the other girl -- Mina, Seulgi knows now -- and loops an arm through hers.
"We've got to get going," she adds somewhat regretfully, scrunching her face, "we have an early schedule tomorrow. I'll see you around, unnie?"
Seulgi nods in reply, glancing back toward Mina who combs her messy fringe with one hand and uses the other attached to Jeongyeon to give a small wave.
Pretty, Seulgi can't help but think of Mina as they part ways without so much as an exchange.
--
She ends up meeting with Jihyo and Tzuyu at a filming long before she sees Mina again.
"The others wanted to come," Jihyo tells her, as Seulgi eyes Joy talk with Tzuyu and probably plan, like, world domination, if her suspicions are correct. They're lucky Yeri hasn't joined them today. Her eyes snap to the brunette, however, at the tail end of her " -- Mina, especially."
"Oh?" Seulgi prompts curiously and not at all too quickly. Jihyo, bless her heart, doesn't say anything about it.
"Yes," she furrows her eyebrows after a beat -- a leader's worry, Seulgi recognizes, too familiar with an identical look she often sees on Irene's face more often than not. "She worries she's not good at variety like the rest."
Seulgi taps her fingers against her thigh. "She shouldn't," she ends up saying, again thinking of her own leader's troubles. She supposes it's probably exacerbated with not four but eight other members to compare yourself to but --
"It's her charm," Seulgi adds, a little quieter. The PD in charge cups his hands over his mouth and shouts across set they'll be ready to go in five.
"It's charming," she repeats, straightening in her seat. She misses both her cue and the look Jihyo throws her, of course.
---
Irene climbs up to her top bunk and settles across from her, legs folding underneath themselves and tugging the sleeves of her sweatshirt over her hands. Seulgi closes the book she's reading and waits.
"I think you should take it," Irene says and okay, that wasn't what she expected. When their manager unnie had called in the middle of dinner saying Inkigayo wanted one of them to dance in a special stage with other girl group members, she knew it would come down to her or Irene, is the thing.
The other girl is her leader, though, and just as good of a dancer -- there was a reason Seulgi always wanted to pair with her during monthly evaluations -- so she expected it to go to her.
It's not like any of them have a lot going on at the moment -- comeback plans are hazy at best and the most attention they get these days is a feature on SM Station at best, but Seulgi eyes how Irene pulls at the string of her hoodie and recognizes it now. It's one of Wendy's.
Seulgi lifts her chin and tries to look insulted, but she knows she probably comes off like a kid trying to act years beyond their age.
"Are you worried about me?" And it's as close as she'll ever get to saying anything about it. For several reasons.
"It'd be a good opportunity," presses Irene, pretending, too, but this time Seulgi is grateful for it. "And you're better at socializing than I am."
Seulgi snorts. "You're not nearly as scary as you were when we were trainees," she counters, injecting in some light humor, "with your straight black hair, you looked like the girl from The Ring."
"Yah. Are you calling me ugly?"
"But pretty," Seulgi adds softly, "you were always pretty, even then."
Irene pauses for a moment, before reaching over to ruffle Seulgi's hair. The action is warm and affectionate, but platonic.
"Take the part," Irene tells her. "Showcase your talent. You might even thank me." She smiles at Seulgi before saying goodnight, that she'll climb into her own bunk later after she checks in on the others.
Before -- when hope had been a lonely candle, occasionally flickering but always burning brightest when Irene smiled at her like she just had -- Seulgi would wait. Wait for Irene to say goodnight to Yeri and Joy, and either watch or help Wendy with whatever baking project kept her up in the kitchen, to come back to their room. To come back to her.
She turns over in her bed and shuts off her reading light long before Irene returns, and sleep comes a little easier in the dark this way.
---
No one warns her about Mijoo.
"Killin' It Kang," the girl greets after she's done tackling her as soon as she walks into the practice room. She'd narrowly avoided the wall and concussing herself, but Mijoo beams, so obviously pleased that they're together in this, that Seulgi doesn't have the heart to complain. "This is the one concept in my life I'm not required to look like I hijacked Barbie's closet, I hope you're ready."
Seulgi takes the hand that's wrapped around her shoulder and laughs. "Yeah, yeah," she grins. She looks around, spotting the rest of the girls she'll be rehearsing with for the next few weeks and steers them toward the group. "Tell me again how much you hate pink -- "
Mina bows from the back, Yooa and Eunjin and Euijin taking lead at the front. She knows Yooa a little and reciprocates the girl's warm hug just fine, smiles her hello's to the others and when she locks eyes with Mina, she realizes she's not sure what to say.
I like your haircut, though the longer style suited her just as well. The color is nice, too, maybe. How is Jeongyeon? sounds just as awkward in her head, like their mutual friend is just a buffer (one that would probably roll her eyes at both of them for their behavior, no doubt).
Mina beats her to it.
"It's nice to meet you," she says, sincerity in every crease of her eye smile, in the slope and edges of her mouth. It's softly spoken and after everyone else, but the words cause something to spread up from her stomach to her chest, expanding and filling her with warmth.
She swallows.
"Me, too," Seulgi echoes, thinks -- it's too soon to feel this way.
---
Days give way to weeks and sooner rather than later Seulgi looks forward to the days she spends rehearsing with the other girls. She plays well with Yooa and shares her cookies (okay, Wendy's cookies, but she asked,) with Eunjin and Euijin as Mijoo looks on bitterly.
(I'm on a diet, she complains. You're always on a diet, Seulgi will say, and Mijoo will always take at least one.)
"Who is it," Joy corners her one night after she comes home late from practice. She'd gone out for a midnight bite to eat with the other four and tried to enter the dorm as quietly as possible, but Joy all but pounces and Seulgi is thankful Yeri has school in the morning so that it hadn't been two against one.
"I don't know what you're talking about," answers Seulgi, because she doesn't, and because she just wants to shower and climb into her bed and sleep for twelve hours.
Joy blocks her path. "You walked in with a dopey face," she accuses, matter of fact about it, "and not the usual kind."
She grimaces. "Joy-ah," she tries to be stern, but it sounds like a whine even to her ears. This is the girl who knows no boundaries and films her crying into laundry baskets, to be fair. "I'm tired and I just want to sleep."
Something in the younger girl's expression relents a bit. "I just want you to be careful," Joy tells her, a little too solemn in the way she looks at Seulgi. This is one of those moments, she thinks, she regrets wearing her heart on her sleeve for all her members and anyone to see. But it's the only way she knows how to be, and her father always tells her to keep her heart as it is, sensitive as the world will allow it. It's not easy sometimes.
She gets it.
"I will," Seulgi promises Joy, and herself.
---
She's careful. You can quote her on that, even.
(Mina blushes, embarrassed, over another late dinner when they're all eating and she drizzles stripes of ketchup over her fried rice and the other girls stop to watch.
It takes Seulgi a half second to reach for the bottle after her and pour a healthy amount over her own. Seulgi catches her eye mid spoonful and catches the briefest flash of silver against rows of white teeth, a smile that exposes Mina's gums and is bright enough to light up the city, she's sure, if she tried.)
Careful, as it turns out, can still be dangerous.
---
"Dude," Mijoo mutters under her breath during a short break in practice.
"I have suddenly come down with a case of selective listening," Seulgi says between gulps of water. She screws the cap back on and tosses it in her bag. "You may leave a message but I might not hear it either."
"Dude," says Mijoo again, after Mina offers Seulgi her spare towel since she forgot hers again. She takes it and tries not to think about the cartoon bear on it.
Mijoo grabs her by the hand even when they're already supposed to be getting back into position to go again. "Just," she starts, then stops, "regretting doing something is a lot less worse than regretting not doing something."
Mina passes by them, looking at their conjoined hands curiously, and Seulgi hurries to break apart. Mijoo stares at her, exasperated and Seulgi drops her eyes to her bag down at the floor. Irene had messaged her -- probably asking what time she'd be back -- but she hadn't texted back.
She wouldn't be mad at her for not replying, but there was a time when Seulgi would check in even when Irene didn't, just for a fighting or other word of comfort from the other girl.
"I hear you," Seulgi looks up, sighing. "Loud and clear."
---
There is a reason why she, Kang Seulgi, has little to no relationship experience to think of.
(There is a boy when she is six in her hometown, who kisses her on the cheek on the park swing once, and she runs the whole way home and never speaks to him again for it. That is the little part of the little to no experience.)
Other than the fact she was a hard worked trainee for seven years with only school and the dream of debut, she's just not good at it -- at dating, at knowing how to get to dating, at liking somebody at all.
"The other girls are starting to complain about gaining weight," Mina tells her as they exit the practice room together and wait on the steps of the building outside. "It might just be me and you during late dinners soon."
Mina fiddles with the strap of her gym bag when Seulgi doesn't reply, oblivious to the way the other girl's head launches into full blown panic.
"Oh," Seulgi says, eventually, lamely -- like there is any other way for her to be in situations like this.
She remembers then what Mijoo had said -- about regretting not doing something more than doing it -- and sucks in a deep breath. There is another way to be, there has to be. She turns to look at Mina, to tell her she doesn't mind at all, that in fact a part of her has wanted that for awhile now, when:
"Mina-yah," Seulgi hears before she sees, a tall brunette that takes the steps two at a time to reach them and pull Mina's gym bag off her shoulder to carry instead and why didn't she think of doing that before, Seulgi wonders.
"Are you ready to go home?" Momo asks her, and Seulgi sees the way Mina glances back over to her, waiting, giving her one last chance. And Seulgi says:
"I think you're good," a little stiff, like the way her heart is desperately trying to hold itself together when in fact it's beginning to chip away and break apart, bit by bit.
Mina's gaze cuts off first and she hides the quiver in her jaw by clenching it, nodding. "Goodnight," she still says softly, like how she's always been, quiet and sweet and catching Seulgi's affections from the start.
She leaves them behind for her to carry alone, though, Seulgi thinks as she watches them walk away.
---
Mina is beside her during the before stage interview, camera smile earnest as she talks about her experience working with the other girls.
In truth, they haven't had much time together -- a little less than a month in preparation, meeting only when their schedules all aligned -- but Seulgi believes her when she says it's been an honor to work with her sunbaes. Her new friends, she doesn't say, as Yooa ties her shoe for her right before they're on and Mijoo calls for a hands in.
Mina has a schedule overseas and a flight to catch, so she can't make it to their very last late night dinner as a team. Still, there's a moment after it's over, when they're backstage and sweaty and running on a high they all ever chase as singers and dancers, and they can't help but bring it in for a group hug.
She knows the arm around her shoulders belongs to Mina, but before she can meet the other girl's eye, they break apart and she drops her arm right away.
"Dude," Mijoo says, coming up behind Seulgi and wrapping a comforting arm around her waist.
"You don't need to tell me twice," Seulgi groans.
(Someone does, however, and she finds out quickly on the next variety show she appears on. Her manager unnie had promised food and that was all Seulgi needed to hear, but two of Mina's members are also on the show and she nearly loses her appetite when she runs into them.
"Mina unnie has been quieter than usual lately," Tzuyu tells her.
"She doesn't like flowers," Dahyun adds.
Seulgi takes notes.)
---
"They're not Pringles," she says, holding out a bag of chips as an apology, "but they're a happy middle ground."
Mina stares, leaning against the door of her dorm, and Seulgi feels heat follow the back her neck all the way to her cheeks. Her face feels like it's on fire but she stands her ground. It takes a second longer than Seulgi's okay with, heart hammering against her ribs thinking she hates me, she doesn't hate me, she hates me, she doesn't hate me, she hates --
"Ketchup flavor?" Mina asks, confused kink of her eyebrow making her look completely adorable and completely, well, confused.
"They're Canadian," explains Seulgi, "and Canadian approved." Thank you, Wendy. She feels a little harebrained when Mina just examines the label, and adds: "Chips aren't really dinner."
At that, Mina looks up, and the other girl's attention makes her uneasy.
"But they're an okay appetizer," she says in a rush, "and I actually go to this 24 hour place that's right around the corner from here, not that I knew where your dorm was before, Jeongyeon told me that, except I told her I wouldn't tell you that, and -- "
"I ate," Mina tells her, and with just two words manages to shut Seulgi up. She looks down at the chips and then back at Seulgi, her small smile thousand stars' worth of lights like the first time they had said hello. "But I could probably share something with you."
---
A fan will mention, months later, that her Japanese is a lot better.
"I'm lucky," says Seulgi, looking up from her phone after reading the comment, "to have a good teacher."
Mina just smiles and Seulgi thinks no more wishing on stars, when she's looked at like this.