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It's Just UNIT

Summary:

The Brigadier gave the number a ring.

“Mmph? Hello?” The Doctor sounded half-asleep.
There was another mans’ voice in the background.
“No no, I think it’s just UNIT…” The Doctor said to his company, who laughed. And the laugh sounded an awful lot like The Master

Notes:

de-anon please

Work Text:

Yates handed him the letter (‘cheshire-cat’ smile) and Lethbridge-Stewart had that instant suspicion of bad news. A correct one. There was a surprise inspection due tomorrow, including the science department- ah The Doctor would be livid.

He groaned. “Did The Doctor leave a number for the hotel he would be staying at?”

UNIT’s eccentric scientific advisor had gone to a conference about… theoretical… something that escaped Allistair.
Mike handed a slip of paper and excused himself.
It was relatively early in the morning, but The Doctor was usually awake far before he was. The Brigadier gave the number a ring.

“Mmph? Hello?” The Doctor sounded half-asleep.
There was another mans’ voice in the background.
“No no, I think it’s just UNIT…” The Doctor said to his company, who laughed. And the laugh sounded an awful lot like The Master-

Allistair sighed “Yes Doctor-”

“It’s The Brigadier.” Then something he couldn’t quite make out. Then the other mans’ voice (which REALLY did sound like The Master). Then kissing.

“Doctor!” He was far too stressed already. “Your attention!”

“Alright, alright, Brigadier, we can kiss when I get back.”

“No you will not.” The Master- because it absolutely was- spat.

Dear lord. Dear lord, I am not a religious man but give me fucking strength.

“Surprise inspection tomorrow, need you back to prepare the scientific department, no argument. Please.”
The Doctor scoffed.
“Doctor, please!”

“All this bureaucracy.” The Doctor muttered. “Fine.”

“I can save you some of the paperwork-” The Master started.

“No!” The Doctor laughed.
And Yates passed Allistair a coffee, then perched on the desk.

“Pass the phone to me.” The Master said. “My dear, he knows.”
There was a scuffle.
“Lethbridge-Stewart, my dear, I have a suggestion-”

“Fuck off.”
Mike spat his drink out, coughing loudly.

“Quite.” The time lord sounded amused. “One could always hypnotise the inspec-”

Allistair put the phone down. By the time they got soldiers there, the criminal would be gone. Waste of government money.

“You alright sir?” Mike smiled (less broadly). “The Doctor being a… um… ‘uncooperative’?”

“He’s sleeping with the enemy.”

“Aliens? Well he IS an alien, would it be stranger if he slept with humans?”

“The Master, Michael.” The Brigadier shook his head.
“Ah, not ideal.”
“No, Michael.”

Yates looked around the office. “Do you want me to make a report or…?”

“Oh christ no.” He sighed. “If the ‘bureaucracy’ fellows catch wind of this… just keep it off-record.”
Mike nodded and left the office.

The Brigadier tried to put together the words for all the conversations he needed to have with The Doctor. The selfish part of him wondered if he’d be getting that kiss, but the military part of him pushed that down. He had important business to attend to.

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