Work Text:
A publicity stunt?
Perry scrubbed his hand down his face. The last thing he wanted today was more attention. First, Candace is out of town, which allowed Phineas and Ferb to whisk him away to Totally Tools Corp.
What kind of company picks a spokesperson who can’t speak?
Next, Perry finally had his moment to make a hasty exit, only for the citizens of Danville to notice him in the sky. The problems only persisted when Major Monogram told him that he was too recognizable and needed to go on a “hiatus.”
The only silver lining Perry could see was that he knew that Sergei could handle himself with the worst O.W.C.A. had to offer. Heinz Doofenshmirtz would be small potatoes. Perry sat in his parked hover car and sighed to himself. He allowed his head to fall heavily on his steering wheel and closed his eyes tightly. He’d never been sent home early. This felt like getting sent to the principal’s office.
Perry resigned himself to sitting up and began to unbutton his teal shirt. He opened up his glove compartment and exchanged it for a graphic t-shirt. He placed his thick-framed teal glasses on his face and rubbed at his short afro with the heel of his hand to make it look like he put in less effort. He then placed his folded button-up and his real fedora in the glove compartment.
Of all the hats the Totally Tools publicity manager had to put him in, they had to choose a nearly identical version of his O.W.C.A. haberdasher's fedora. However, the sheer variety of headgear that Totally Tools had may put the man to shame. Perry then locked the glovebox neatly. He undid his suspenders and tucked them away before he stepped out of the car.
Perry looked up at the tall building and considered using his grappling hook to get back up there swiftly, but with his luck… He shook his head and decided to take the elevator. Once he arrived on the top floor of the Totally Tools building, he could hear the boys talking. Perry put on his best lazy uncle smile and began to slowly approach them as the head of marketing did.
The taller man beamed down at the boys as he said, “Our President, Tom Totally, thinks you’re doing such a brilliant job! He wants you to take the rest of the day off.”
Perry stopped behind the boys and blinked a few times at the executive, but made no move to sign anything to him.
The boys got the day off, too?
Phineas looked up at the white-haired executive with Ferb shortly after. Ferb was hard to read as usual, but Phineas looked very happy.
He eagerly accepted, “Sounds great.” Ferb turned to look up at Perry. Perry smiled sweetly and waved at Ferb. Though he did not return the wave, he did tap his brother so he would look back as well. Phineas slowly looked up at Perry, and his smile only brightened.
“Oh, there you are, Perry.” Perry offered Phineas the same wave. Phineas planted both of his feet on the ground and decided for all of them, “We can spend the rest of the day with you for a change.”
Perry couldn’t hide his look of genuine surprise. In all honesty, Agent P couldn’t remember the last time he had gotten to spend a day with just him and the boys. However, once the brothers shared a moment of eye contact, they made a mad dash toward the elevator. Perry put his right hand to his chin and moved his hand slightly forward to thank the executive before walking down the hall to follow the boys.
He pulled out his phone and quickly sent a text message to Linda and Lawrence.
Finished w the boys. Going to the park
Perry locked his phone and pocketed it, a bit unsure of himself. There was a lot the boys could do at the park. They could swing together or… maybe he still had that yellow Frisbee in the backseat? Perry frowned as he buckled in before turning to check the back seat.
Once both boys buckled in, Phineas looked around Perry’s car and excitedly said, “Hey!” Phineas picked up a blanket from the floor and declared, “This is perfect for a picnic!”
Perry smiled and signed,「Could pick up grilled cheeses?」 Phineas and Ferb smiled at each other before Phineas pumped his fists in excitement.
“Yes!” Phineas whispered as he pressed the picnic blanket into his lap.
Perry soundlessly chuckled as he faced forward and began the short drive to the Danville Park. Some of the tenseness in his shoulders relaxed noticeably. Half a day with the boys. He should take the time to enjoy this the way Phineas and Ferb seemed to want to. He could do that.
Ferb held up his index finger to politely interject, “Two cheese sandwiches.”
“Oh yeah! One for Perry and one for us!” Phineas and Ferb gave each other a thumbs-up.
As Perry stopped at a redlight, He adjusted his rear-view mirror so the boys could see his eyes.
He raised an eyebrow and signed, 「Half for you?」
Phineas scoffed and waved his hand dismissively, “Well, we only have half a day together, we can’t waste it on a cheese sandwich!” Perry didn’t follow the logic, but he nodded seriously as though he did.
Perry glanced up at the light that was still red before he fixed his mirror and signed, 「One and a half then.」
His boys both nodded sagely at this wise decision. Ordering the cheese sandwiches and getting to the park were simple enough tasks. The cheese sandwiches had somehow gotten into a picnic basket that Perry was almost certain was not in the car. As he parked, both boys bolted out of the car towards the entrance to the park.
Perry locked the hover car and walked far behind the boys as they took the park by storm.
“Come on, Perry!” Phineas shouted as Ferb started to lay out the blanket. Perry smiled and shook his head as he jogged to catch up to the boys in the field. Ferb sat down and began to distribute bag napkins and halves of cheese sandwiches while Phineas bounced on the balls of his feet.
With a wild grin on his face, he insisted, “Sit by me!”
Phineas fell on his rear and patted the picnic blanket behind a spot that happened to be directly between both boys. Perry held out his hands as though to calm Phineas’ excitement. He feigned back pain as he slowly sat between the two and picked up half a cheese sandwich.
Ferb looked at his brother and then at Perry before he asked, “Are you still sad you missed work?” Perry paused mid-bite of his half a sandwich and tilted his head to the side.
「What?」
“Ferrrrb,” Phineas whined and stared at his brother as though he said something he shouldn’t have. Perry looked at Phineas and then back at Ferb.
They… noticed?
Phineas half-laughed and looked at Perry before focusing entirely on his cheese sandwich. Finally, he said for the both of them, “Ferb just means that it didn’t seem like you really wanted to model for Totally Tools. We know how much you put into your office job, so we thought maybe you wanted to wander off to the office.”
Ferb nodded and added, “The publicity stunt was a nice surprise.”
“Oh yeah! That was awesome, Uncle P!” Phineas looked back up at Perry and took a quick bite out of his sandwich.
Perry’s expression softened, and he looked down at his own sandwich. He sighed and put it back down before he signed, 「I always love spending time with you two, no matter what. I’m sorry I got caught up in… 」 He had to pause to think for a moment before he finished, 「work.」
The boys looked at each other before lifting a hand to their chins and lowering it slightly in a silent thanks. Perry smiled at his boys before he braced his hands on top of their heads to roughly ruffle their hair. Phineas laughed, and Ferb let a tiny smile tickle his lips.
「Now, do you mind?」 Perry gestured to his half a sandwich to tease, 「You’re keeping me from my cheese sandwich.」 Phineas laughed and opened his mouth before Ferb burped, loud and long, in a way that silenced the other two. Phineas pushed his brother’s shoulder and laughed even harder.
Perry shook his head, 「I didn’t even see you eat that.」
Phineas wiped his eye as he continued to laugh. Perry looked up at a snow cone cart as it approached and finally took a big bite of his sandwich. Phineas liked lime, Ferb liked anything blue raspberry, and he’d get himself something grape. Not yet, though.
After all, they did have half the day to be together.