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"Do you ever think," Woonhak's voice broke the silence of the apartment, "What it would have been like if we hadn't become idols?"
The six of them were all scattered around the living room of the lower dorm.
Jaehyun was lounging on the couch in his usual position though tonight he'd allowed enough room for Sungho to sit at the other end of it, his feet settled atop the blond's thighs. Riwoo was perched comfortably in a pile of cushions on the floor just a few inches away from where Woonhak had starfished himself in the centre of the carpet. Leehan was curled up on his usual chair at the kitchen table, knees tucked to his chest as he watched his fish swim around in their tank. Taesan leaned up against the counter next to it as his eyes flickered between the shimmering creatures and the boy observing them.
It was late. They had practice in the morning and schedules for the rest of the day after that. They should have been in bed but there was something in the air that kept them all awake and had drawn them together.
Flurries hit the window, stark white against the inky black backdrop of the sky. Winter was in full swing, days growing shorter and the nights colder. Comeback schedules had given way to year-end award shows; red carpets, long performances and bigger stages that required more practices and even longer hours spent honing precise details to ensure maximum retention. They worked hard, as they always did, because they wanted to make good memories for both themselves and Onedoor who had always stood faithfully by their side.
It was the time of year that a question like Woonhak's didn't provoke teasing but careful introspection.
"Sungho would've been an artist or maybe even a model!" Jaehyun's tone was loud and self-assured, a wide grin already spreading across his face, "He's got that super cool artsy vibe, you know what I mean? Long hair, way too handsome to be real, smart and funny… They'd have written k-dramas about him! Hey— ow!"
"What the hell are you saying?!" Sungho's face had gone bright red, eyes narrowed in a flustered glare as his hand still hovered over the spot on Jaehyun's hip where he'd just smacked him, "You probably would have been the one writing the script, with a mind like that! Or making some radio show, since you're so good at talking."
"Art inspires art, Yeppi! I could write entire plays about a face like yours. And being a radio host sounds like fun! I'd make sure to have you on as my first guest. Park Sungho: the face that launched a thousand ships."
Jaehyun's grin was as wide as the Cheshire cat's, already giggling maniacally as Sungho lunged at him across the couch. The pair twisted themselves into a complicated knot of limbs as Sungho tried to silence Jaehyun's laughter with no success even as a smile bloomed across his own face in playful exasperation.
"You would have been in university by now." Riwoo looked down at their youngest fondly, studiously ignoring the ongoing battle taking place on the furniture above them, "I have no idea what you'd be studying but I'm sure you'd have made tons of friends in every faculty regardless."
Woonhak smiled widely, "I probably would've studied Music Production honestly. Or maybe Sports Science? I'd want to study something I love for sure." He dragged his gaze away from the mark he'd been staring at on the ceiling to look back at Riwoo, "You definitely would've been a dance instructor, hyung. I seriously can't imagine you having any other job, you're way too talented."
"He could've been a food critic," Taesan chuckled suddenly, "The only person who loves food more than hyung does is you, Woonagi."
Woonhak frowned over at him and open his mouth to complain but Taesan's gaze strayed back over to stare at Leehan's profile before he could say anything, "Donghyun would've been a marine biologist." He said with absolute surety, "He loves fish too much to have been anything else if he weren't an idol."
"And you would've been a producer," Leehan responded immediately, eyes turning to soft crescents as he smiled over at Taesan, "You wouldn't abandon music for anything in the world."
"Not anything," Taesan mumbled back, voice quiet as his eyes lingered on the younger tenderly.
A soft blush warmed Leehan's cheeks at the 'just you' that went unsaid but he still heard anyways. He buried a silly grin in the palm of his hand when Taesan sat down in the chair next to him, close enough that he could feel the warm weight of the older against the line of his body. He leaned into him quietly, head tilting instinctively to rest on Taesan's broad shoulder.
They lapsed into silence again.
"Do you think the six of us would have met?" Sungho wondered out loud a few moments later. His and Jaehyun's play fight had tapered off and Sungho's head was now situated comfortably in the leader's lap, "If in that other life, we would have still been friends?"
Riwoo stretched his leg out to prod Woonhak's side with a socked foot, laughing lightly when the younger whined and squirmed away from the ticklish sensation, "Maybe we wouldn't have met right away but I believe we would have found our way to each other eventually."
"Me too," Jaehyun agreed easily, fingers sifting through Sungho's blond strands absently as he looked around the room, "I can't imagine my life without all of you in it so I think we'd have to meet, no matter what."
Leehan nodded into Taesan's shoulder, warmth filling his chest as he watched the older reach out to touch the front of the tank, "We would have still been together." The quiet certainty in his voice was palpable, "In any other life, any other reality— this is where we'd always belong."
"Together." Taesan nodded, a smile quirking up the corners of his lips as a couple of the neon tetras started chasing his fingers along the glass.
"I'm glad that I chose this path," Woonhak's voice filled the air, quiet for once but earnest, "Because it led me here, to you guys. And I'd do it again and again, even if we weren't idols. I'd take whatever path would bring me here in the end."
Five hearts trembled as they listened to their youngest continue to speak, "Thank you for always being hyungs I can rely on no matter what. Thank you for—" His words hitched a little, emotion making them blur around the edges, "Thank you for letting me find a home in what we've built together. For as long as we're able, I want to continue walking this path with you. I… I—"
"We love you too, Woonhak-ah." Leehan's voice was gentle and full of warmth— as it always was— and painfully sincere, "On this stage and the next and every one after that. Just like you, I want us to keep growing together as one."
"The next scene…" Taesan added contemplatively, "I'm always looking forward to seeing what it will look like when I'm by your sides."
Sungho reached down from the couch to ruffle Woonhak's hair, "We'll keep doing our best as always, right? So that the whole world becomes colored in the language we wrote."
"Until the day our voices resonate for everyone to hear and even beyond that," Riwoo agreed.
"So we'll keep going on the way we are," Jaehyun stated easily, a happy smile already settling on his face, "We'll continue being the loud, stubborn, endlessly energetic Boynextdoor that we've always been. On every stage, in every scene— we'll always stay true to who we are."
Outside the dorm, the wind continued to howl and snow settled onto ever available surface, covering the streets of Seoul in a crystalline blanket.
Inside, the bitter chill of winter was kept at bay by chaos at its finest. Sleep found each of them easier like this, in the warm comfort of shared laughter and the mass of six boys huddled together in a tangle of bodies on the floor of their dorm wrapped in blankets and surrounded by pillows. Jaehyun and Sungho had trapped Woonhak in between them, Riwoo's head was pillowed on the youngest's stomach while Taesan and Leehan curled up together against the leader's side, Leehan's back pressed up against Taesan's chest.
Tonight they would rest.
Tomorrow, there was another door already waiting for them.