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Two hours.
No, 1 hour and 56 minutes.
That's how long Shin has to wait for Lena to come from her meeting with Grethe and other federacy officials.
Shin sat comfortably under a large oak tree somewhere in the outskirts of the Rüstkammer base. He felt the warm sunlight on his skin before its warmth was taken by the cool breeze of fresh air. The way the green leaves shined brightly under the sun, reflecting off his crimson eyes.
He wanted to spend some time with her alone without peering eyes. And this spot is far enough to avoid that. After taking a final look around for people, his eyes finally took notice of the several patches of red flowers blooming around him.
While this is the first time that Shin had seen this particular scenery, he couldn't help feel something when he came across it. Unable to figure out why, Shin decided to take a short nap depsite having a book in his hand.
He closed his eyes before slowly drifting away into a silence sleep, all the while ignoring a sunken feeling deep inside.
"Shin? Shinnn?"
A silver bell like voice woke Shin up. His eyes rolled slightly up to the direction of the voice.
A girl with a blue military uniform stood in front of him. Her long flowing silver hair dyed in a green colour of the leaves above her.
"Lena..." he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "How was the meeting?"
"It was a lengthy one but I'll spare you the details." Lena replied as she sat directly next to shin. She rested her head on his shoulder. Shin could vaguely smell the scent of shampoo from her silver hair.
"This is a nice spot you picked. Who told you about it?"
"No one. It just felt...familiar."
Yes. Familiar.
That's the word.
Shin felt a sense of familiarity being here.
"By the way, you look so cute when you sleep."
"Oh...okay." Shin swallowed his saliva as his voice slightly cracked. He didn't know what to say. Instead, he opened to the first page of his book and started reading.
Lena's face went slightly rosy after noticing his lack of response. She smiled slightly, knowing that he was probably too shy to respond. But her attention soon switched to something else that came into her view.
"Oh look, a butterfly!"
Shin's crimson eyes abandoned the written pages and took a glance. Its wings flapped gently through the air, its white colour glowed brightly under the sunlight.
His eyes remained locked as the fragile creature made its way further down and eventually...landed on his right hand.
Shin stared.
He just stared at it.
The sinking feeling risen inside Shin.
There was something he remembered.
Before he could even process what it was, the sunken feeling in his stomach bubbled up to his throat and a single word escaped.
"Saiki..." his voice came out so softly like a whisper, it almost blended with the sound of the breeze.
"Hm? Saiki? Who's that?" Lena was fortunately close enough to Shin to hear that single name.
Shin remained in silence.
A vice-captain from a squadron I led back in the 86th sector.
Shin wanted to give that short answer but something at the back of his mind stopped him. Yes, It was an easy answer yet...something about it felt strange.
Saiki was a vice captain of a squadron in the 86th sector he lead as captain. That much is true. But was that all to him? Of course not, there was something else for sure.
It was then Shin realised.
Why he was slightly hesitant.
Why this scenery also felt so familar.
A spring day. A white butterfly. Blooming red flowers.
Shin finally remembered.
This scenery in front of him was like the one moment he spent with Saiki in battlefield.
Where he told about the story of the children. The sick children and toddlers that were caged up and left to die, only leaving behind traces of their imagination on walls so cold and bleak.
It was butterflies.
Such creatures were so beautiful yet so fragile.
Just like human lives.
The sinking feeling continued to bubble up in Shin's throat. That's right...Saiki. he's gone. Of course he is.
Saiki was one of the people Shin carried in his heart. Just like the rest, they entrusted their soul's departure to him as their reaper.
Shin could tell the admiration from Saiki back then. He knew deep down that Saiki felt guilty for relying on someone younger than him with the task of carrying the souls of their fallen comrades. Yet that day, Saiki still tried to share that burden with him.
Shin felt happy about that. But that emotion never reached Saiki. Ever.
Shin looked down on his hands. the fragile creature was still there. It flapped it wings gently. Then...he parted his lips.
"Saiki...was someone who believed that butterflies were people's souls. Or something similar. I don't know, its been years since he said it. Maybe..."
Maybe...this is him visiting me...
Shin didn't finish that sentence.
He clearly knew that this butterfly wasn't Saiki.
It was a fleeting, stupid thought...
But something inside of him wanted to beileve it.
Lena sat in silence, waiting for Shin to finish but she soon realised he might not continue.
Butterflies being people's souls...
Lena stared at the white butterfly. For her, something about that statement felt so profound, so beautiful yet fleeting.
She could tell that the person shin had mentioned was from the 86th sector. Someone who Shin probably had to kill. A fallen comrade of his.
She slowly reached out her hand and placed it over his left hand. Shin opened his palm and their fingers locked, their warmth intertwined with one another.
"Then...perhaps this is him visiting." Lena spoken softly as if to avoid scaring the butterfly
Shin was rendered speechless after hearing those words. Did she read his mind or something? Or was it that Saiki and Lena might have believed in the same thing?
He let out a slight sigh that felt like a start of a small chuckle.
"Are you laughing? I know what i said isn't really possible." Lena blurted.
"I'm not laughing."
"You are! I was serious."
"Oh? So you do believe it then."
"Shinnn!"
Shin chuckled as he rested his head on top of hers. He couldn't see but he imagined Lena’s puffed cheeks being blown out right now.
"But you know. About Saiki...what he said about the butterflies...I want to believe it too."
As those words parted from Shin's lips, the butterfly took off from his hand. The two watched as it flew further up, almost blending into the blinding blue of the sky.
After that day, Shin often go to that same spot whenever he had the chance. A place where he can read and nap in peace.
A place where he can cherish a fragmental memory of his fallen comrade.